Ace of Pentacles - New Beginnings

Poseidon, seen here in the Ace of Pentacles, is a real big guy, the son of Cronos and Rhea, brother to Hades and Zeus. He is the "husband of the earth", the god of fertility, of all the waters and of the earth's surface, possessing great power and strength. Poseidon is a mover and a shaker.

All the Aces are powerful, always representing new beginnings and innovative ideas.
Here we find a wellspring of raw energy toward creativity and inspiration. The Ace of Pentacles symbolizes the material plane, in the form of the physical body or monetary things.


Since paying off my mortgage in November I am finally beginning to feel less of a financial burden. Struggling on your own so long is a real challenge. As much as I can stress about this pressure, I really wouldn't have changed it, because it has made me the person I am, and I have come to greatly love, and appreciate the kindnesses of others toward me. I have learned a lot about myself, some positive, some negative, which is all part of the learning process in the cycle of life

The little pleasures have so much to offer us, and if we can't appreciate them, no sum of money, or things will ever bring happiness.
When we are little, we have a true sense of awe, wonder and joy, taking such pleasure in simple things, and time spent with those we love and who love us.
A day at the beach with my little cousins, picking berries, spending time in the garden with my grandfather, exploring the woods, playing with my dog, or feeling such excitement over the first snow fall, were all things I remember, and I think it is important to be in close touch with these things to keep them at the forefront of my mind, knowing it is the simple things and especially our relationships, is where we find real pleasure, happiness and wealth.

 Yesterday I was very sad to learn of the death of another beautiful friend, who was a very kind, down to earth, humble man, who was very much loved and respected. Lately there have been a number of people that have died in our close knit community, that will be greatly missed.

The weather today is very Wintery with a storm in progress, but it doesn't bother me one bit, because I am appreciating the simple things.
I put on a big pot of chili in my slow cooker for supper. I finally got my internet going after being able to get myself a new router yesterday, my car insurance paid, and am well prepared for a power outage or a flat tire because I was able to afford some kerosene for my lamp, and a handy-dandy emergency, portable air compressor, and good sized order of groceries. My good neighbour just arrived to plow me out.

Life is sweet, beautiful, good, and so very transitory. I intend to savour every minute, as it is, for however long it is. I am grateful for life, every day.

Five of Wands - Fighting The Dragon

I'm just now getting back on line after being three days without my internet. I feel lost without my computer but I have other issues I have to deal with that cannot be avoided. I think I've had some time well spent over the past three and a half days to do some introspection and taking stock of my present circumstances surrounding what I want and how this matches reality.

The Five of Wands represents struggle. I haven't drawn this card for sometime. It's an appropriate card that describes my struggles as of late. When we are experiencing one difficult event after another, one can have a tendency to think, what in the heck is happening here, and why?

Our creative visions clash with reality, and it can feel like this is all some sort of conspiracy against us. It is not, it is simply life.

I know there is a source of strength I can draw upon the same way Jason draws on Medea's strength and knowledge. She is a close relative to the High Priestess, who embodies the feminine power of intuition and instinct. Medea who gives Jason the vision and courage to fight the battle with the dragon, in order to achieve his goal of acquiring the Golden Fleece.

This card urges us to have persistence and loyalty to a vision, to make compromises, and to fight for what we want. I need to address my struggles with material reality head on. If not, one risks falling into a depressive and apathetic mood which all represents the dragon of inertia..
Fortunately this is not my nature, though I am certainly not immune to depression and feelings of apathy, especially when I procrastinate, and avoid things I should not. The more I ignore these issues the worse the situation gets. The struggle will prove fruitful, if I rally the forces and tools available to me, such as trust, perseverance, and prayer.

Queen of Pentacles - Feminine Strength

I find the all the Queens in my Mythic Tarot Deck always have some kind of significant and helpful message for me, usually with some thing I'm struggling with. Today it no different, when I drew the Queen of Pentacles or the mythic figure of Queen Omphale this morning. Prior to this, I heard good news about an issue I had let go of since Friday past, and this card was a clear confirmation for me to remain strong, stable, and simple.

 I don't know about you but I can complicate my life. If could get back the amount of time I've wasted on fretting about things, and if I could cash that time in for dough, I'd be able to at least pay off all of my bills! Especially when the outcome is good, I then reflect on my behaviour. I've metaphorically pulled my hair out, and got my underwear in a knot, and see clearly how this is such a very futile exercise. If this happened literally I'd be bald by now, with very ill fitting, uncomfortable undies.

Regardless of the outcome of things, it is a total waste of time. It is also uncomfortably obvious to me how I  lack trust. I do turn it over, to the God of my understanding,but not without a period of hand wringing, and hanging onto my Kerfuffles. Drives me bonkers.

I do believe I am making improvement, little by slowly. Today I strive for simplicity within the complexity of life. The Queen of Pentacles reminds me to keep my feet planted in the good earth.

Sometimes I bring on these problematic issues myself. I have nothing to whine, complain or worry about. So like the Queen of Pentacles I want and need to focus on the abundance of life. I need to be generous with  myself mentally and emotionally, believe in my feminine strength, and share that abundance with others, and stop worrying about Kerfulles.

The Lost City of Kerfuffles

Two of Pentacles - Don't Give Up!

Here we see Daedalus who is at the beginning of honing his skills and reputation. He is putting his energy and efforts into several challenging areas at once. It is like juggling, but in whatever form it takes in life, these are all the challenges before us, and it is a developed skill that we need to build upon and has been an essential habit for me to maintain balance.

 I have to make my mind up to be determined, to get one step successfully completed, before I can move on to the next. If I try to skip a step I'll simply not be able to accomplish the skill effectively, and won't be able to reach the goal I have set for myself.

If I break things down one step at a time, I can channel the flow of creative energy, put it to work, and reap the rewards. It enables me not to feel over whelmed, to not be overcome with impatience, which leaves me frustrated, disappointed, and like I have failed. Unfortunately all of these negative feelings can quickly translate into guilt and shame, leave us feeling like we want to give up.

Don't give up! There are those who love us, want to help us to reach our goals, and to reach our dreams, if we will only ask for help.

The Queen of Swords - Atalanta

There are no mistakes. Really? Well I think I can agree with this statement, though it does sound like a ridiculous statement on one level, it does not mean perfection, and that we never stop making mistakes. This is far from being true. Our so called mistakes I do believe, are wake up calls, all part of our life journey, and they can serve us well, to enable a change in our behaviour for the better.

In spite of the mistakes, I don't need to panic. I do need to try to relax. I know this is much easier said than done, because of my human fight or flight reaction, but it doesn't mean I stop trying to do some serious introspective homework, to figure out what the next step is. I cannot fear my mistakes, but I do need to embrace them, in order to make the changes necessary in order to avoid a repeat.

We don't always purposely make mistakes, but regardless we can avoid many of them if we can let go of our demand for perfection, often creating our own problems.

The Queen is the perfect card to draw today, as she lifts up the individual struggling to overcome a panic attack ( namely me). This Queen uses her intelligence, and her intuitive passion to solve her problems.

 Atalanta is embodied in the Queen, and when she was born, her father King Iasus, who wanted a male child, cruely abandoned her on a mountainside to die.  Atalanta was then helped by Artemis-Hecate, the moon-goddess, who sent a she-bear to suckle the child, and so, she is well acquainted with animal instinct. Later she was found and raised by a clan of hunters who found her. She learned to fight, and was a fierce hunter along side of men, and was always happy. Atalanta became the 'swiftest mortal alive' and was full of prowess. She greatly identified with the masculine world, and strove for perfection.

 It is said that she was the only woman who joined the Jason and the Argonauts on the great ship Argo, in search of the Golden Fleece.

Crescent Moon Bear - Catherine Meyers

Queen of Pentacles - Generousity

Here's one of my favourite Queens. She's has great feminine strength, is sensual and an earthy, hard working woman, who loves the abundance and luxuries of life. The Queen of Pentacles is generous of heart, and always ready to quickly share with others. She is a true patron of the arts and charity. She is stable, receptive, and symbolizes the sensuous elements of the earth.

Generousity is putting our gratitude into action otherwise it is just a pleasant emotion. I don't believe we can be truly grateful if we are not generous. My Creator, and so many people in my life have been so generous, and I need to give to others what has been so generously given to me, in whatever way I possibly can. We also need to be willing to be generous toward ourselves, not in a selfish manner, but in the sense of self-care, because we cannot give to another, what we do not have ourselves.

Love has no price tag, and demands nothing. There are many rewards in selfless giving especially with a joyful heart. For me this is what the Queen of Pentacles embodies, and in the best sense is truly a 'Lady of Leisure'.

Four of Swords - Making Time To 'Chillax'

The Four of Swords was a welcome card this morning, signifying a time for rest, relaxation and some serious chillaxin'. I am more than ready for that, to take a mental break of sorts from myself and my thoughts. It is a great feeling to be back painting again, because I never feel right when I can't seem to get to it, and at it. I don't feel myself and I am off kilter. Now that I've got my groove back, I really can relax and channel my creative energy.

 As adults, we often get bogged down with trying to navigate life, we can get too busy being a grown-up and forget to play and just have fun. Making art should be fun. Or for that matter any work that we do should be at least enjoyable, if not always fun.

Taking time to relax allows for reflection and recuperation to build up strength in reserve in preparation for future efforts and to put order into our lives. But Instead of taking time, I really need to make the time, and make it a priority in order to gain some serenity after the storm.

The Four of Swords coincides with the New Super Moon in Aquarius, which started yesterday. It is a time of having new energy, beginnings and fresh starts, a time of rebirth and growth. Clear intentions, being honest with myself, releasing my ego, and letting go of self-sabotage is a good foundation for the life I want.

Four of Pentacles - "The Fear of Loss May Mean No Loss, But Means No gain

"The fear of loss may mean no loss, but means no gain." This is a quote from my Mythic Tarot workbook about the Four of Pentacles. I drew the Three of Pentacles yesterday and discussed professionalism. Today's daily card , the Four of Pentacles has followed naturally, considering the order of things.

 Finding myself without a car for the last month has been difficult, and as per usual my financial situation is always pressing in on the realities of living day to day, and month by month.
I have learned to let people, places, and things go more over the years an especially so these days. My fear of financial insecurity has lessened over the past few months, and though things are certainly not ideal, however if I focus on what I lack and hold on tight, I will be miserable, stressed  and anxious. I have to say I really hate anxiety. This habitual anxious behaviour I can attribute some of it to my early home life, and often being in a state of hyper-vigilance. I am not exactly a nervous Nelly, but I can be an anxious Annie! Undertaking my latest creative project and wanting to do the very best I can, I really cannot afford too much worry, stress and anxiety. Stress blocks my creative energy and my self-expression.

The Four of Pentacles urges me to let go; reminds me I don't have to hang on to fear and anxiety, otherwise it will be very much to my detriment. In light of this, I also understand I need to perceive how I am contributing to this anxiety, and do whatever I can and need to do, to lessen it. This will also enable me to let go. It is easy to tell yourself or someone else, simply to 'let go". It is another thing to actually do it. We are human, and I don't believe that we can ever completely let go, because we all have feelings, and it is next to impossible to stop our feelings. If we could stop all of our feelings, we would no longer refer to ourselves as human 'beings'. Otherwise we would be automatons.

I certainly can detach from my feelings up to a point, but I can never be completely devoid of them, nor would I want to be. Today I honour my feelings, but I don't want them to control me in negative ways, reacting impulsively, instead of responding.

 I strive to make progress not perfection. I need to remember to pause and ask my Creator for space between my impulse and my action.

I would be wise to have the carefree 'trusting in heaven' attitude, living in the present moment approach like  The Fool, as opposed to the controlling, holding on too tight, attached nature of the Four of Pentacles.

The Fool - Egg Tempera on Porcelain Tile, 2015, Catherine Meyers

Note: This photo I took today is of my completed painting of The Fool...lots of more painted marks and goat horns!

Three of Pentacles - Professionalism

 

I am partial to the number three for a number of spiritually related reasons. Threes also make me think of the three Graces or Muses, and indicates an initial completion, the first bit of a project is done, rather like the basic shell of a structure that has been erected, and now energy is put toward the next needed elements to hopefully follow.

It is a rewarding feeling of satisfaction to have the beginning of project started, but there needs to be a full awareness of the hard work ahead. If I have an inability to know my limits, and do not understand  my character, knowing what I can or cannot handle, this is proportional to my success and lasting rewards.

The Three of Pentacles is a very appropriate card drawn for me today upon commencing my most recent art project, a series of 22 paintings, the Major Arcana cards based on the Mythic Tarot. Once I complete the Major Arcana, I want to complete the remaining 56 cards of the Minor Arcana.
The early beginnings for me is probably the most daunting undertaking, because of the combined fear, ambiguity and excitement that comes with the initial approach to an art project. However, I am sure this will come up again with each painting in varying degrees until the project is done in my efforts to make 'good art'. I do make a concerted effort to crowd out of my mind any negative self-talk or self-doubt in my ability to create, and replace this with positive affirming thoughts.
 I must remain steadfast, positive, realistic and adhere to my professional development.

The Chariot - Decisions

Interpreting this card on a intuitive level, The Chariot is about decision, trying to get from one place to another, moving forward safely, and surely. It is about weighing the pros and cons, harnessing the oppositional forces between knowing what I should do, what I want to do and about discernment.

 I am no different than any one in that, I fight with myself, can be my own worse enemy, self-sabotaging  my intentions and plans. The old adage of 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions' comes immediately to mind."

I have been re-reading and trying hard to not simply grasps the concepts, but the many truths in The Heroines Journey, Women's Quest For Wholeness, by Maureen Murdoch. I want to actualize these truths in my life, so as to lessen the fights I have with myself in order to become whole, mind, body and spirit.

Like The Fool this is the journey of life, and I am at a new chapter. I know this deep in my soul. If I do not  begin this journey it is to deny all that is youthful, creative, and that which is greater than myself.

The Fool - Egg Tempera on Porcelain Tile, 2015 - Catherine Meyers

Nine of Cups - Dreams

The Nine of Cups is called the wish card, as it signifies the positive outcome of a fulfilled dream. In November of last year my dream came true, because of my 20 year long time commitment to getting my house paid off, and starting my Tarot reading business. The last year of having to pay my mortgage seemed like the longest year ever, as if it was never going to come to an end. It seemed like there was one hurdle after another to overcome. It was like hurry up and wait.

  I was reminded today of how I have so much to be grateful for. When working toward a the realization of a dream it can fill like it is never going to come to fruition and we sometimes focus on the negative things, what is going wrong, and how hard it is to achieve. We get our underwear all in a knot to say the least. We can get myopic, and easily forget our blessings, like the simple things we take for granted. I am always grateful to be reminded of this, just when I need that reminder.

Having a commitment to our feelings and our values, plays a very essential role in realizing dreams. I believe it is not a matter of luck but commitment, and hard work. Sometimes our dreams are not realized, and this can be stressful, but the dream can change and we can find a different kind of fulfillment and happiness in this, if we make up our minds to do so.

The Moirai - Wheel of Fortune

The Moirai or Fates are fascinating symbolic images found in the Wheel of Fortune, and were the incarnations of destiny and life. They remind me of the Three Graces or Muses,  and I suspect the Moirai carried over into the three theological Christian virtues, Faith, Hope, and Charity. Clotho was the Spinner, Lachesis the measurer and Artrpos the cutter whose name means 'she who cannot be avoided.'

Greek Mythology is about as confusing as family genealogy but even more so. For instance Uranus which symbolized the sky, was the primal Greek god. He was the son and mate of Gaea who symbolizes the earth and mother of all. Uranus had no father. According to Hesiod's  creation myth, Uranus was born of Gaea alone. Gaea was his sole parent. Weird eh? Makes no sense, but is all symbolic creation myth. But I do so love that Gaea was the mother of all.

The Moirai are the three deity sisters born of Zeus, the god of the sky and ruler over the gods of Olympia. It has also been said they had no father, but were the daughters of Ananke, the primeval goddess who was self-formed, as a Mother Goddess.
According to another myth, their mother was Themis the goddess of the divine order, and was " the messenger of the very first rules of conduct, established by the elder gods, and in the role of divine voice, she first instructed the primal laws of justice and morality to mankind."
 Themis was also the daughter of Uranus and Gaea. I think it would be safe to say that the Moirai had a rather divine mission.

Moirai-Clotho, Lachesis, Atropos

Strength

Using my head and not my heart can sometimes be difficult, because it can feel like I am going against the grain, as I approach life often with my heart. But I have learned to ignore some of those feelings when I know I am not doing the right thing, because sometimes my heart can get me into trouble if I don't think.

I now understand why 'they' say youth is wasted on the young. I wished I had listened to my head when I was young, and maybe I'd  have made decisions not based on fear. But we can't undo what has been done and need stay the forward course with hope and optimism.

Courage and fortitude is what the Strength card symbolizes. We all have situations were we try to have courage but are very afraid, just as we can have the guts to do some thing, but we feel weak. Courage can be spurred on by fear. Fortitude can be motivated by weakness. Fear and feeling weak can cause negative reactions, if we don't use our head. I need to handle unhealthy anger and self-serving pride. I must be willing to do the right thing in spite of fear, and try to replace my fear by acquiring faith. This helps be to walk through my fear, with love being the opposite of fear.

Self-reliance is not the way for me to possess strength, courage and fortitude.The human spirit is amazing. It inspires and changes our lives when grounded in faith.
Freedom from fear is a lifetime process.

Temperance - Spiritual Home

 Temperance, such a beautiful image and concept. But Temperance isn't just a concept or image, it is truly a way of living that is about balance, moderation, living life with clarity, discernment, having an open heart and mind. It is also living life fully with my mind, body,and spirit, all in unison. Being in this balanced state is where I feel I am at home in the spiritual sense. If one of these aspects is not being attended to, the other areas will suffer and I am not as happy as I could be.

My biggest down fall when it comes to living a temperate life is no longer struggling with addiction, but with exercise. I don't do enough regular exercise. Truth be know I hate exercise. I think the older I become the more I am becoming like Phyllis Diller. " Exercise to me is a brisk sit ".

Six of Swords - Harmony - Yeii Spirit

The Six of Swords is not a happy card, but harmonious, signifying an acceptance of limitations, and what can and can't be done.  I see myself as I am.
This harmony comes from a tranquil mind, not necessarily a tranquil heart. I now have insight and understanding of how the pattern of life works and can move forward.

This card describes exactly the way I am feeling presently. I know why I am on this road, how I got here, and am beginning to know what it means, which allows for change. We all ask those life questions. Who am I, where am I going , and how much is it going to cost? Just kidding about that last bit.

No one ever completely figures out what it all means. The fun is in the trying. It's the journey that's important, not the destination.


Though the Six of Swords is not a 'happy' card,  it is one of harmony, that gives a sense of dignity and self respect.

The question of the heart, well that's a different story, but my heart is open today, if not completely tranquil. That works for me right now, one day at a time.

Yeii Spirit- Catherine Meyers

Wheel of Fortune - Acceptance

There is definitely change ahead when I draw the Wheel of Fortune. What kind of change? I can only speculate, and that's not so clear. Only good fortune is hoped for at best. I would be wasting my time projecting into the future, and I am no fortune teller. Growth and a new phase is assured regardless of which way the wheel turns.

I think about the future a fair amount, and have hopes and dreams like any one. But the big thing is, is taking charge of what it is I want to actualize in my life. This can be the hard part. So I have been busily doing lots inventory, goal setting, and trying to crystallize what it is I want to do and accomplish. What I don't accomplish I have to accept responsibility for, good or bad.

I must say I am struggling to get past the Winter weather which is a really challenge psychologically and living alone I stay in my head. Thank goodness I have a writing outlet. Winter has always been something to overcome. I've never really liked it, and as I got older I disliked it even more. I don't remember even liking Winter as a kid. I do remember before I started school, being left outside for long periods of time at the baby sitters, along with another kid. The woman who was minding us had a daughter the same age as her cousin and me. We were both left outside in the cold while her mother allowed her daughter to come back in the house. I never told my mother. Perhaps this might have something to do with the reason I don't like Winter, and have a unpleasant residual memory. I certainly relate Winter with being cold and dark which I believe directly affects my mood along with having a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

So goes the Wheel of Fortune, life is not perfect, full of big and small messes, but it is a beautiful life. Some days are diamonds, some days are stones and we can't have one without the other. Acceptance is the key to all my difficulties.

Ten of Wands - Oppression Versus Wearing The World As A Loose Garment

Hmmm, what to say about the Ten of Wands. Looks pretty oppressive, and Jason is overwhelmed and hemmed in by all those flaming wands. He's feeling not only overwhelmed, but what he had taken on, in pursuing and finally obtaining the Golden Fleece, has left him depressed, and bored under the weight of everyday responsibilities which has definitely cramped his style.

Jason's great ship the Argo is wrecked, beached and mouldering. He has achieved what he set out to do, but isn't happy. The initial enthusiasm when he began this great undertaking, has long vanished. Jason may have been naive to think that the pursuit of this kind of adventure is not what is really going to bring him sustained happiness.

Like Jason, we can accomplish great things through our projects, and once they are achieved,we can be left with that feeling reflected in that old song,  "Is that all there is?" The answer of course is no, that's not all there is, but we need to find a sustainable happiness within the real world. I am not what I do. This makes me ask myself, is it the pursuit of happiness or is it the happiness of pursuit, or both that are important?

 In the past I was addicted to a state of hyper-vigilance. This kind of addiction I believe is rooted in unmet needs growing up. I grew up with this kind of addiction, because I never knew what was going to happen in our dysfunctional home, and so I unconsciously found myself in similar situations in life and in particularly in my relationships. It just felt normal to me, but I sure was not happy. Like Jason I was unaware of my limitations, and I often made the wrong choices or took on more than I could ever handle.

 Some folks are addicted to the adrenalin rush that comes with some possibly dangerous risks, and they are never happy or satisfied unless they are in pursuit of the next big thing.
Today I can challenge myself within the real world with smart, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound goals. I can still partake in risk and adventure, that awakens the imagination  with new ideas, new goals, and a new gamble, while wearing the world as a loose garment, to avoid burn out.

 I don't feel the need to achieve huge great things today. Hyper-vigilance is not something I want anymore, but changing my habits for the better these days is, with not too much of an adrenalin rush needed.
Getting my next art series completed, having an exhibit, and getting my garage cleaned, that would be real big to me.

Ace of Wands - Pure Creative Energy

The Ace of Wands is a powerful card to draw. It deeply embodies the creative force of nature, the creative power of the imagination. The Golden Fleece is seen as the symbol of creative vision. It is an affirming card that reminds me of how creativity is not simply for the 'artist' but for everyone.
Many people have misconceptions about creativity in that they think creativity is only reserved for those directly involved in art and craft. Not so.

Yesterday I heard an interesting item on the radio about creativity and the guest was purporting that creativity is found in every aspect of work and individual job, and so it goes for individuals. We all have, and are all born with a great capacity to be imaginative and creative, but many of us need to know how to tap this force. If we have been blessed to have grown up in an environment where creativity was nurtured especially as children, it stays with you, but there are ways to develop this creative energy and to foster it.

What helped me immeasurably channel, and understand my creative energy, was when I came to know The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and Mark Bryan, back in the 90s. An art friend, and art therapist recommended I read this book, that changed my life twenty years ago.

Today it colours every aspect of my creative process as an artist. It empowered and enabled me to fulfill dreams I never imagined possible. I share this book with younger women I meet, or with any one creative individual, who may not be aware of it.

I related wholeheartedly to the basic principles, that were a confirmation, affirmation, and clarification of what I’d believed for so long. I am so grateful  to now have over thirty years of journals to draw on, as I write everyday which enables me to be a better visual artist.

Upon reading and putting into practice the basic principles of the Artist Way, I have been writing regularly in daily practice for over twenty years now. My writing for me has been like prayer in so many respects.
I now realized on a deep level how to live my life as a creative person.

Being introduced to Julia Cameron's book was so affirming, and I felt like I wasn't crazy, which may sound like an extreme adjective, but wanting to pursue art often left me feeling like I was different than the mainstream and it wasn't really okay. After applying the principles of The Artist Way I no longer felt alone. I not only felt like I'd finally found my tribe, but I felt empowered. You might say, the Artist's Way has been my Ace of Wands.

Knight of Cups - Creative Vision Quest

Drawing the Knight of Cups, another Court card, in the suit of cups again, sparked my interest. This happens a lot, often drawing related cards for a number of days. I am partial to the suit of cups, because the suit represents the emotions, relationships, friendship and matters of the heart. It is also the suit associated with water which is the element I most relate to, because my Moon is in Pisces, and I am often reminded of this on a daily basis being a creative, and I intuit my way through life.

What can be problematic for me, has been change and inconstancy. I have worked hard on both areas of my life and continue to do so. It is a good thing to know that I have the best possible vocation I could have, pursuing art, as I'd never been happy at a desk job or with employment where I could not use my creativity. Many years back I was told by an Astrologer that it was important for me to pursue a spiritual quest in my life. He was right.

The Knight of Cups is on a quest, perhaps romantic, possibly creative or spiritual. The Cup could represent the 'Holy Grail' and the fish in the water is also a symbol of spirituality.
 I am not romantically searching, but as far back as I can remember, I have had a spiritual and creative vision quest.

Queen of Cups - Emotional Intelligence

 Emotional intelligence is what the Queen of Cups possesses. She follows her intuitive, open heart before her intellect, and drinks deeply from the cup of life. Her emotional generousity defines her very loving nature. I wish more of us could be like the Queen of Cups.

Having emotional intelligence it has been said, is valued  by society. The reality is, it is not the primary manner in which the world is run, politically or socioeconomically. You don't have to look very far to see that we live in a world very lacking in this kind of intelligence. Governments in the Western world mostly provide lip service to the real needs of the individuals who are living with poverty, homelessness, mental illness, abuse, and a long list of other difficulties that so many struggle with everyday. I may sound jaded, but I am simply being realistic. Regardless I can certainly think of individuals who exhibit the character traits and values of the Queen of Cups, that I greatly admire, but still there are not enough of them. People who live life the way the Queen of Cups does I believe are seen as naive, foolish and fool hearty, leaving themselves open to being taking advantage of, headed for heartbreak, and nothing but folly. Living life drawing from emotional intelligence should not be equated with not using your intellect.

Reality is not all based on rational thought and concrete facts. There is much to learn from this beautiful Queen that we can all develop and deepen in our own inner lives and the depths of our souls.

One of the best books I ever read about rational and irrational thought  was Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance  by Robert Persig  as it changed my perception and my thought.

Stalemate - Two of Swords

The song 'Stuck In The Middle With You ', and the saying, 'Stuck between a rock and a hard place', is what comes to mind when I look at the Two of Swords. Orestes despairs at being  in the middle of the quarrel between his mother and father. There is a stalemate and seems to be no resolution in sight.

We all find ourselves sometime, in a position where we are stuck in one way or another, and can't see the forest for the trees, which can cause great tension and anxiety.  We find ourselves neither happy nor unhappy. But if I can somehow detach with love, find objectivity, with discernment, clarity will come into view.

I really dislike being on the fence, though it does happen. I know that not everything is clear cut, not always black and white. There is always a lot of gray area, but for me it is important for me to take a stand. I cannot stick my head in the sand, in denial, always walking on eggshells to avoid conflict and maintaining the status quo.


Feeling as if you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, is an uncomfortable spot to be in. Finding myself in this place I can do one of two things, accept the situation or not. Then I have to decide if there is anything I can possibly do about it.

 I understand I cannot change or control anyone's behaviour, but I can choose to 'vote with my feet', walk away and control my own responses. If I can't figure out what to do and feel paralyzed emotionally, well then, I have to turn it over to the God of my understanding, ask for help, trusting that my request will be answered. This always works for me, not so much for my cats.

Nine of Wands - Full Wolf Moon

 
The time of the Full Wolf Moon, gives a strength that may be unexpected in the dark of Winter but I believe it does. The Wolf Moon is a great time to begin new creative endeavours. It also corresponds with the Nine of Wands, the card of strength in reserve.

These dark days cause us to withdraw into personal introspection and reflection, which can give us a creative strength that the Nine of Swords speaks of, and that we may be unaware of having. We find this reserve strength when we lest expect it, and when we most need it. This time can help to lead us to new life, hope and ideas.

 Like Jason, we may be in the middle of the raging storm in the Clashing Rocks. But we will make it through.We  rise up to the challenge are prepared when we are feeling the lowest, at the end of our rope, mentally, physically or emotionally.

I identify very strongly with wolves, because the wolf represents a woman's strong instinctual, intuitive and Wild Woman nature.

Full Wolf Moon

Conflict, Strife, and Sorrow Versus Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, and Hope - Three of Swords

I've been gearing up for the coming year and attempting to clarify what it is I want to accomplish. Goals are very important to me, and have become more so the older I get, and the tangible-measurable objectives that I make in order to achieve the goals I've set.

The actions and reactions based on my decisions of the past, influence the goals I choose today.
The Three of Swords speaks of strife, conflict and sorrow. I've had enough of that in life, and the New Year is a great time to take stock, to take an inventory of the past year; to looking ahead to make the coming year free of negative events and full of positive happenings. This may sound idealistic to some.

I understand  very well, I can't shield myself from all things negative in life, believe me I've tried, and failed miserably. What I can do is change my attitude toward those events of conflict, strife and sorrow. I don't have rose coloured glasses on, nor am I a complete Pollyanna, though I do like her. My outlook these days is somewhere between George Jones and Pollyanna. I think those two would get on quite well.

I have been very blessed in my life to have had the opportunity to learn how to change my attitude and my behaviour. There is nothing too easy about it, but so very worthwhile trying, and then finding you have managed to overcome, and this makes me happy because it increases my self-esteem, and confidence. Mostly what it does, is give me hope for the past present and the future. I do not attribute this to my own wisdom, but to other individuals that have set the example and helped me along my path.

When I was studying Art Education in University, and during my training in as a Youth Care Worker, one of the lessons that helped me immeasurably was learning  how to set goals, and measurable objectives. There is a good acronym that can help me do this. S.M.A.R.T. Smart, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound, are the descriptive adjectives these letters represent.

I think is is essential I put pen to paper, write out my goals, and then describe the objectives that are the action steps I will take, to achieve these goals.

The negative in life allows us know and appreciate the positive. If I can improve, build upon, and focus on the positive, I think this keeps the conflict, strife and sorrow at bay, or at least some what manageable.

Ending on a positive note, I just finished putting my Christmas 'ornies ' away and am ready to embrace New Year and start writing down those goals and objectives today, because there is 'hope for the hopeless!'

Nine of Swords Vs 21 Years of Recovery

I really don't like seeing on the Nine of Swords the menacing wrath of these Furies toward Orestes, with their threatening presence.
Considering however today, January 2nd, 2015, being my 21 year A.A. anniversary of contented sobriety, it really gave me pause to reflect on my days before sobriety. I was like Orestes, tormented, often full of great fear and anxiety with feelings of impending doom, that did not necessarily manifest itself,  nonetheless it was both frightening and painful. The fear of destruction caused me to have all kinds of free floating anxiety and fantasy at times. I felt pursued by guilt and shame, which I thought would no doubt end in a terrible future, even if these fears where not based on reality. Of this however, I am quite convinced; had  I continued to drink, these fears would have eventually become self-fulling prophecies.

I thank God I came to understand the reason for my fear and guilt, which provided insight once I got sober through the 12 Step Fellowship.

I can not say I am completely free from worry, or never feel moments of fear and anxiety, but so does everyone. The difference today is, I no longer have to, nor choose to pick up a drink to cope. Today my antidote to worry is action and prayer.
Reality suits me just fine, no matter what happens in life today, and for that I am very grateful.

Maintaining Focus - The Chariot

The Chariot symbolizing war or battle, is for many of us, what life often seems to be about. Fear, and terror can be our battle field. We spend time fighting situations, others, or even ourselves. Life shouldn't be about fighting, in a destructive sense, but be about advocating for ideals such as justice, freedom, and peace.

I have learned that I can advocate, for myself and for others, but if I really want to make a difference I also need to get organized to be effective warrior, in order to walk the talk.

Aggressive retaliation or reaction, results in a no win predicament. Passivity is not an answer either. A position of assertion is what I aim for in all aspects, and circumstances in life. I understand this is easier said than done, given our fight or flight instinct, and depending on the situation.

The message for me of the seventh Major Arcana card, is about having knowledge, truth, understanding, and discernment which act as our the sword and shield, the amour of wisdom, necessary before we decide to move forward toward the light. This is the better way to ensure a likely win, win outcome. We need an informed enthusiasm, to make the right decision. Other wise we have out of control, runaway horses.

Strength, self-assurance, and having an iron willed determination, must be creatively balanced, and harnessed with the spear of love, tempered with a healthy fear, a spiritual vision, and a clarity of mind, which will create order out of chaos. 


The harmonious blending of love and strife strengthens and develops our whole personality.

A very Happy New Year to all. My prayer is, that all will be enabled to balance the negative, and positive forces in life, to maintain our focus, to control of our lives, to achieve success in the now, and in the future.