Saturday, April 22, 2017

The Lovers - Wayfaring Stranger




This card I drew today I relate to as a Gemini., which is the astrological sign associated with this Major Arcana card, The Lovers. What is represented here is both earthly and divine love, and all the challenges that accompany the choices in love, and the development of the individual. We all are challenged by these choices in love, both earthly and divine.

Today it's become more difficult I believe, to make these choices because we can feel overwhelmed by so many serious pressing problems that we feel pressured by, in an ever complicated world. My thoughts today on Earth Day especially turn toward Earth and Heaven and how they are directly related.



 I ask myself, how do to make Earth more like Heaven? I know I absolutely have to maintain my hope for our world, just as the Creator points to a higher love, that gives us hope.

There's a Capella song recorded by the Smithsonian Folkways in the old English-language religious music in the classic traditional, Appalachian mountain song. I Am a Poor Pilgrim of Sorrow, which I first heard in the public library, when I was living in Toronto back in 1980.

 Way Faring Stranger is no doubt another interpretation of the same song. I find the lyrics hopeful and not so desperate as the first version of I am a Poor Pilgrim of Sorrow. Regardless, this song has stayed with me all throughout my life, because it reminds me to keep focused on a higher love, that offers hope when we are home, in the place where we no longer feel like we are wayfaring strangers.



Wayfaring Stranger - Traditional - Author Unknown

I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger
Traveling through this world of woe
Yet there's no sickness, toil nor danger
In that fair land to which I go
I'm going there to see my father
I'm going there no more to roam
I am just going o'er Jordan
I am just going o'er home

I know dark clouds will gather o'er me
I know my way is rough and steep
But golden fields lie just before me
Where the redeemed shall ever sleep
I'm going home to see my mother
She said she'd meet me when I come
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me
I know my way is rough and steep
Yet beauteous fields lie out before me
Where God's redeemed, their vigils keep
I'm going there to see my mother
She said she'd meet me when I come
I'm just a-going over Jordan
I'm just a-going over home
I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger
I'm just a-going over home


Thursday, April 20, 2017

Nine of Swords - The Stream of Goodness




We find in the Nine of Swords Orestes, who is trying hard not to listen or pay attention to the menacing and tormenting Furies, with the dark and gloomy clouds approaching in the horizon. He's trying to fight against the kind of free floating fear and anxiety we all experience from time to time, often a result of worrying about the past and projecting into the future. Both are useless to engage in, can only produce an unsatisfying and unhappy present and future, instead of the quiet satisfaction, peace, serenity and gratitude, that accompanies living a rational life.


 I spend much of time trying to fill my thoughts with what's been referred to as living in the 'stream of goodness.'
 Being an imperfect human being, with worry and anxiety like every one else, I do well to guard against all the things that come with self- pity, dishonesty and self-centeredness and eliminate them as soon as they enter my mind, so I can  find peace with my Creator, my neighbour and myself.

 I have to put the God of my understanding in charge of my thinking, in order to eliminate needless worry and the anxiety it causes me and go with the flow of the stream of goodness.


 I love this song by the very talented Canadian singer song writer Sarah Slean, I happened to hear the other day. Unfortunately the youtube version isn't available, but did find the lyrics which express my feelings about the 'stream of goodness'.

Holy Ground

God is looking in the mirror
into the fathomless depths of your eyes
whose tears are the only holy water
by which you will kneel and be baptized
there ain’t nobody sicker than the seeker
who hardens himself against love
perhaps that’s what I see in him
and I want to heal in him
because I see it in myself
song of sacred places raining down
everywhere you wander is holy ground
the streets, the streets are brimming
and the beggar is walking with the king
they’re groping in the dark for it
but never in the heart for it
where the only kingdom is
and the kingdom is…
song of sacred places raining down
everywhere you wander is holy ground

Monday, April 17, 2017

Five of Pentacles - Mercy




Daedalus is seen here having to let go, leaving his past success and acclaim behind, as he's lost all his wealth, experiencing poverty, insecurity, and he's full of worry over his adversity. More profoundly he's lost his self-respect, having confused his self-worth with material security, causing him to loose his sense of direction and faith in himself.

When we edify material success, whether it be in the form of people, places or things, there is a price paid. Ultimately we  must take responsibility for the part we've played in becoming our own worst enemy, like Daedalus has become.

However personal transformation is always possible, the kind that goes soul deep.
 Making a conscious choice to be kind toward ourselves and to forgive whatever it is that we have done, or how others have wronged us,  forgiveness can make the difference between starting over and redefining what it means to be successful and bring us to wholeness once again.

As Anne Lemott states is her new book, Hallelujah Anyway Rediscovering Mercy, " The way to feel whole is through mercy." 

 We harden ourselves in many ways to life Anne Lemott says. By practicing forgiveness and kindness we can soften that hardness. Denying others forgiveness and kindness, we deny ourselves, and visa versa.
In order for kindness and forgiveness to prevail, there will be no cruelty, but only mercy.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Page of Wands - The Creative Messenger




I see the Page of Wands as a being very much the creative messenger, reminding us to be nurturing and gentle with ourselves in order to discover, nurture and take care of, and believe in our creative gifts.

Pages is always indicative of messages and this Page of Wands embodies the mythic image of Phrixus sensitive, caring and a youthful innocent. Due to this innocence and sensitivity there exists a susceptibility to outside influences, both positive and negative.

This Page reminds us to be take our creativity seriously, to be our own advocate, our biggest champion and that we need to believe in ourselves and our abilities with enthusiasm. We need and to be open to discover our great creative gift, our true value that was also given to Phrixus from Zeus.

Often many of us grow up in families and environments where these basic values and beliefs are not instilled, which makes it difficult, but not impossible to bring and actualize into our adult life. However having mentors and extended family can help immeasurably and can make all the difference.

There is no need to stay in a state of not knowing our creative self-discoveries and capacities that reflect the powerful possibilities of our creative imagination.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Eight of Wands - Spiritual Creative Growth




Change, movement and travel are all represented in the Eight of Wands. Travel in this case relates to seeing through the conflict that stimulates the imagination, bringing spiritual creative growth.

Wands generally represent creative growth, energy and action. In this card there is now positive change after anxiety and struggle. All I can say is, what a relief!

This card that I've drawn today, is a precise reflection of the emotional roller coaster I've been traveling on, albeit a small one, relatively speaking. After two weeks of anxiety and struggle, the change that I'd hoped and prayed for has arrived, and I think I've passed this spiritual test. I know there will always be more spiritual tests to come and I'm okay with that, dare I say I welcome it. I happen to love real roller coasters but not the emotional kind. I've had enough of those in my life.

Today I was feeling like I was at my weakest and strongest point, and I let myself have a little cry. This brings to mind what Jean Vanier refers to as, " in weakness strength."  After I decided to take action, things began to fall in place, because as I've said many times, action is the antidote to worry. My doubt and fear were dispelled and the answers I sought provided clarity. I was able to find the strength to reach out, which is difficult for me, but it's made all the difference. I was shown great kindness and I am very, very grateful.

Life is full of personal conflict and struggle. It appears to be necessary if we are to experience the beauty of spiritual creative growth.


Sunday, March 26, 2017

Six of Pentacles



The Six of Pentacles is a card of growth, generousity, charity and giving.

Daedalus has not been the best kind of human being. Here we see Daedalus kneeling and paying homage to King Minos, who knows the extent of Daedalus' actions, but he also knows that Daedalus has suffered, been exiled and humiliated for his crimes, and he has learned many lessons, the hard way. In spite of this the royal King doesn't judge him in a merciless and unforgiving way in which society would. He forgives Daedalus and offers him friendship and generousity in his heart and spirit.

Today is my late big brother's Ralph's Birthday who was ten years older than me. He's been gone for 15 years and I miss him so much and always will. We were very close when I was little. Once I hit adolescence and with all the serious struggles that went on in my family growing up, my relationship with my brother suffered, got complicated and difficult. After I sobered up things got much better, but I was still emotionally bankrupt in many ways and didn't know how to find my way out.

The forgiving and merciful King Minos extends a generous, giving and loving heart toward Daedalus, the way I know my brother extends toward me and I do the same for him. To love and forgive our family is something most of us can't help do, no matter what. Loving our human family is just as important. We are all wounded in some way, have done things we are not proud of because we fell very short in many ways. Perhaps we haven't been the kind of person we should have been or wanted to be. Being forgiven especially by those we love that we have hurt is one of the best gifts we can be given.
 What is more difficult, is forgiving ourselves, but we need to this in order to heal, and move forward so we can grow into the people we are meant to be and be happy.


Friday, March 24, 2017

Ace of Swords - The Double Edged Sword


 It never ceases to amaze me how accurate the cards are each day I draw from my deck. Prior to actually reading the card, I'll look at it and wonder, how does this relate to my present situation? Then upon careful examination it starts to make sense to me, regardless of how I feel about the card or my present state, which has been a very difficult over the past two weeks. The closer I come to the end the more difficult it seems.



 I see Athene's Ace of Swords as a card of power and potential. Like all swords it cuts through muddled thought and gives clarity. This Ace of Swords is even more powerful, because I'm reminded it is a doubled edged sword, cutting both ways.

 There are consequences and actions that happen from ideas and convictions, from people, places and things, which can create suffering, but in spite of, or perhaps because of, it can all result in a new and more viable principle, resolving a situation that will soon come to an end with a successful conclusion.

So, this is good news, and it gives strength enough to know, I can get through the last next four days, because I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel approaching fast. Without going into personal details suffice to know it's something I've never quite experienced before and it's been extremely taxing on my inner resources, but makes me grateful for my faith and I know I will be stronger for the experience.

Some situations in life are certainly not self-imposed, but are created from outside influences we have no power over, due to unforeseen circumstances. It might appear on the surface there is absolutely nothing else to do, but wait for it to come to an end, no matter how hard. What makes all the difference is how I approach it, and my attitude. I have been turning to and relying on a power greater than myself to give me strength to abide the time it takes for resolution and victory.

* Dedicated to my friend Heather, who showed us how to let the light shine out of the darkness.




Thursday, March 16, 2017

The Queen of Pentacles - Who's Happy?






I'd love to be or even feel like the Queen of Pentacles today but I'm not sure I'm any where near feeling like her right now. Oh sure on an intellectual level, I really identify with all her glorious attributes and I aspire to them daily. She's stead fast, possessing endurance and stability, grounded within herself and through her deep connection with the earth she loves to generously share in it's bounty, in any way that she can.

She lives each day to the fullest and is the embodiment of what it means to embrace all the simple pleasures of life. The Queen of Pentacles very much is an inspiration and is really the quintessential Earth Mother, the image of feminine strength and sensuality, with dignity and power.

I've deemed her to be the Queen of Hygge, and so drawing her today, is a much needed reminder for me to be happy, which is directly proportional to the gratitude I try mindfully to have everyday.

 Today it's been hard for me to focus on my gratitude because of the direct or indirect affects of not having enough available funds to get by every month. Yes, I'm poor, but I do know I'm rich, in so many other ways and this is what I try hard to focus on.

Financial insecurity has been an ongoing thing for me and tends to wear on you after many years. I never thought I'd be wishing for the day I turn 65, in 508 days, but who's counting? Well I am, because this will make a huge difference in decreasing my stress level, when my income will increase three times.

Today I've acknowledged that I'm sick and tried of struggling financially but I know there's light at the end of the tunnel and feel comforted by the Queen of Hygge who reminds me of this, and to count my blessings and to be thankful for the small miracles in my life. So the Queen of Pentacles (Omphale) queen of Lydia, she has made me grateful today and I'm feeling happier for it now, before having written this post about my favourite influential, down to earth, motherly Queen.

I'm reminded of a saying that I try hard to live by. I'm grateful not because I'm happy, but I'm happy because I'm grateful.

My cat Tommy Tom, he's a good teacher, he's so happy. He's really got this Hygge thing down pat!

Tommy Tom is Hyyge enlightened!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Five of Wands - Friends Help You Fight the Dragon





 Fightin' the dragon are the words that immediately come to my mind after drawing the Five of Wands this morning.

 I thank God I know I don't have to fight that dragon alone, unless I choose to do so or for what ever reasons I just can't seem to reach out and ask for help. For me, this is false pride, but that doesn't mean there aren't those of us at some point that don't seem to be able to reach out. This can have dire and tragic consequences. So what do we do?

  I have to be very cognoscente of those that need a friend who might need a hand up. I must not only ask, but simply offer as well, to be a friend that listens over coffee, and who offers a helping hand in some way or another, to a friend or to someone we don't know..

 For most of us, asking for help is one of the most difficult things to manage to do, regardless of our situation, for a myriad of reasons. Familial patterns are often entrenched in our personalities, and it's difficult to break those patterns and change unhealthy behaviours. Perhaps we've learned these behaviours from our parents to keep that stiff upper lip or we've learned that often unspoken message from society, to just suck it up, move on, because no one wants to hear about our problems.  And sometimes we just think it's easier to be in denial, but it's not, because denying reality only compounds the existing adversity, effects not only ourselves but the others  who are around us.

The Five of Wands reminds me to keep reaching out, when I feel like giving up. I need to ask for help or to offer help to another. I especially need to remember to value real friendship and to know that friends are no different than me in our shared humanity, and that 'strangers' are just friends I haven't met yet.



The Qualities of Real Friendship

- Excerpt from the Huffington Post


1. They push us to be more accepting of ourselves.

2. They call us out when we're wrong.

3. They're present.

4. They really listen.

5. They support us through adversity.

6. They keep our stress in check.

7. They keep us humble.

8. They have our backs when life gets tricky.

9. They make friendship a priority.

10. They practice forgiveness.

11. They make us want to be better people.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Wheel of Fortune - To Everything There is a Season

I compare life to a garden. Both gardening and life are about growing and learning.

As the gardener. I have to make sure I've well prepared soil, sowing fertile seeds that can help one another to grow. Then I must tend to my garden regularly by attentively weeding. Then I can reap just what I've sown at the end of the season, barring any happenings like storms, floods and big bug infestations. But that's the thing, there are no guarantees in life or gardening. We have to learn to expect the unexpected.

I'm happy I've drawn this Major Arcana card today, The Wheel of Fortune, and the tenth card in the Tarot,  ruled by Jupiter and the planet of expansion.

This card indicates positive changegrowth, a new phase of life and coming to terms with our own inner journey within the cyclical nature of life, as there is a season and a time for everything.

The Wheel of Fortune urges and reminds me to not be complacent, otherwise the weeds will take over my garden.

Spring is not far away now, just 17 days! I'm really taking notice of the increasing sunshine everyday. I've planted my garden seeds early indoors, the first week of February and now I'm enjoying watching them break through the soil. Even my Christmas Cactus has decided to bare a few beautiful blooms again, which hangs above my big Calla Lily, and just in time for the coming Easter season, my very favourite time of year.


The Wheel of Fortune encourages me to be determined to put ever effort into growing my garden this year and intend to apply the same principles to my life, embracing growth, making changes for the better and shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.






Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The Hanged Man - Patience is a Virtue





 I remember the first time I saw this card. A friend of mine who was a Tarot reader did a reading for me, and was my first exposure to Tarot cards. I was left with the impression that things did not look good when The Hanged Man appeared in the spread. It retrospect it was very accurate and relevant to what I was experiencing then, which was a lot of emotional turmoil leaving me confused, and anxious about the future. I was hoping to find some sort of control over my situation, and this card didn't give me a lot of reassurance upon first seeing it.

The Hanged Man represents taking a break, waiting things out, distancing and withdrawal from all the turmoil in order to find a semblance of normalcy and balance again.

When we take this time, it's an opportunity to regroup, but mostly I think it's a lesson in patience, and that can feel like a sacrifice.  I've never been the most patient person and it's something I've had to mindfully work at. Being an artist I suppose has helped me, because the creative process is a discipline which requires some patience and constant reassessment. Creating art is something I do as a creative person and it's what I love, so I don't think it is that difficult. I do have to step back to reassess and try to find a way to get an different perspective by distancing myself. Looking at my art work in a mirror helps me to see things in a way I wouldn't normally see.

However it's a different scenario when I've found myself in situations that I don't like or even hate, and are very challenging for one reason or another. This is the time my patience is really tested. I can choose to either persevere and work through it or throw up my arms in defeat and just give up. Fortunately I'm stubborn and I don't give up too easily. Eventually have to come to a level of comfort and calm with my situation, which is a big part of practicing patience, trusting in the unseen workings of my psyche, waiting, often with fear and anxiety, but with much hope.

The Greek Myth about Prometheus embodied in the Major Arcana card The Hanged Man, is pretty gruesome involving chains, an eagle and poor Prometheus's liver, but in spite of all this there is a good and merciful outcome!

As my grade nine Geography once said under her breath to her group of teen aged out of control class. patience is a virtue.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Seven of Wands - We Can't Stand Alone




This has been called a card of the underdog and can be seen as a situation we can all find ourselves in sometime or another, without having to play the role of the victim, in spite of the struggle. It is a card of faith. We always have the opportunity to see our difficulty, whatever it might be, as a test of our faith, urging us to rise to the occasion and to persevere.
 Of course this is easier said than done when we are going through 'challenging' experiences that I often call shit sandwiches and we can feel completely overwhelmed without a way out, but we don't have to stand alone.

Personally I have to take these kinds of experiences one day at a time, otherwise it would be easy for me to become despondent, overwhelmed and resort to coping mechanisms that would only exacerbate things, making them far worse.

My wise and faithful mother always said, " Things can only go down so far, and then they have to start coming up." I have always found this to be true.

This card reminds me to know and understand that things always change and we can have hope and assurance in knowing that out of the negative can often comes positive no matter how bad they are and we are not alone.




Sunday, February 19, 2017

The Star of Hope - How Not to Ruin Your Life




 It's synchronicity that caused me to draw this Major Arcana card, The Star of Hope today. Since I learned of the death of my friend Lillian, I've thought about how death can bring us unexpected inspiration and hope. These are the lessons in the fragility of life, often giving us the deepest sense of meaning that grows out of unhappiness, pain, shame, crisis, depression, and loss.

 Life is full of irony and we can often think that these are unexpected sources of inspiration and personal transformation, but the truth is, they certainly can be. Things aren't always as the appear to be.

 The Star is a card of waiting, which offers hope, urges us to to trust our intuition and to have faith in the midst of difficulties and that there will soon be a dawn.

Life if really about a series of losses, but with loss are also gains, but I believe it depends on our own level of acceptance, grace, and it helps a lot having a really good sense of humour that enables the ability to not take yourself so seriously and can be a powerful healing tool for some.

 J.P Sears has really learned how to do this. Simultaneously he seriously coaches a whole lot of people, helping them to find hope and to understand that pain, shame and broken hearts don't have to ruin our lives.

Listening today to a great program about aging versus ageism, midlife crisis, and transformation I thought the topic this program Out In The Open is aligned with much of the general meaning to be found in The Star.


Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Eight of Pentacles - The Apprentice


No I'm not talking about you know who, Donald Trump on the Apprentice! Definitely not, but Donald Trump's got a few things in common with Daedalus, who was extremely prideful, jealous, cold heart-ed, impulsive, quick tempered and I suspect very sleep deprived.




The Eight of Pentacles is a card of change, education and engagement and here we see Daedalus in the role of the apprentice. He's dedicated to working at his craft and he conscientiously applies himself to achieve the skills he needs to be successful and happy. But I ask, is he really happy?

Being conscientious does relate to every aspect of our lives, but we aren't human doings, we are human beings. Though it's essential I believe, to love what you do and do what you love, but more importantly if we love the essence of who we are, embracing the positive and the negative characteristics within our being, it's not only reflected in all that we do and how we live life, but is very evident and reflected especially in our relationships with others.


We aren't simply going to be fulfilled and happy by doing what we love to do if our relationships are not fulfilled and happy, especially the relationship we have with ourselves.

So on this Saint Valentine's Day remember to love yourself, love others and love the God of your own understanding.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Six of Pentacles - The Generousity of Hope





 The Six of Pentacles is a harmonious card. embodying King Minos, generously offering Daedalus his six golden coins, that reflects the renewal of faith, and faith in life and one's capacities.

Growth, generousity, giving and charity are all represented in the Six of Pentacles. This card has great personal significance to me. My late husband taught me so much about the meaning of generousity. I could attribute his Metis heritage to his generous heart as generousity is considered one of the core values of Indigenous cultures, but we all have the choice to live our lives with a generous heart, that will truly bring happiness.

In the Western world we have lost our way. Capitalism is the default and though we live in a democracy these two perspectives are sorely at odds with one another, where greed over rides any basic democratic values, such as human rights, and freedom.

It's a well know reality that it's difficult to give what you don't have already for yourself. However if we're feeling so overwhelmed by problems there is nothing that will help us grow more then helping someone else.

Generousity gives us hope. Without generousity, this opens the door to cynicism and hopelessness.


Thursday, February 9, 2017

Queen of Cups - "The Treasure of a Woman's Psyche"





I love the description of this beautiful Queen of Cups in the Essential Tarot by Rosalind Simmons who writes,
 "This queen drinks deeply from the cup of life." The queen of influence is calm, compassionate and intuitive.

Cups being connected to emotions, relationships, friendships and romance relates directly to this Queen, who lives her life based on her intuition instead of her intellect. There are many positive things about living this way, and it definitely has worked for me and continues to always be my default.

Understanding of course, that there needs to a balance between the intuition and intellect, sensing and paying close attention to what my intuition tells me, deepens my inner life. It's only when I don't pay attention to this it's then that I get into problems.

Especially in the past, I have found myself in circumstances with others, that are not healthy, and so I'm so grateful knowing today that I've a choice to live a better way. It doesn't mean I no longer make unhealthy choices, but I'm much better at making healthier choices.

Dr. Clarissa's Pinkola Estes says in her book Women Who Run With the Wolves, "Intuition is the treasure of a woman's psyche." Living intuitively doesn't mean becoming complacent and no longer pay attention because I've got it all figured out. Not at all the opposite is true. I strive everyday to pay attention to that intuitive creative spirituality, enabling me, much like the Queen of Cups me to 'drink deeply from the cup of life.'

Vasilisa The Wise - Catherine Meyers

Monday, February 6, 2017

Eight of Swords - Crazy Makers





This card looks pretty crazy I must say. There aren't really any pleasant images. On one side we see the threatening Furies with their wild creepy snake hair, and wacky bat wings. On the other side stands Apollo looking unimpressed and majorly pissed off at Orestes, who stands stuck in between the two.

Regardless of what's initially being presented in the cards we draw, as I've stated before, every card offers a positive beneath the surface of the negative imagery, and visa versa..

Having an awareness of the things we need to address and change, is what each Tarot card offers us and we are given the opportunity to live life to the fullest, based on the decisions and choices we make, no matter how big or small, and no matter how seemingly significant or insignificant.

Ultimately what is presented here in the Eight of Swords is a situation of being in bondage, created from our own fear. We can't or won't take action because we fear the consequences. The only solution to moving forward, is to make a decision to be honest with ourselves and no one can do this for us, it is completely our choice and we shouldn't ignore this, because there will be consequences that will cause us more trouble and grief.

The number eight is symbolic of change. The Eight of Swords reflects the feeling of being intellectually and even emotionally constrained, isolated and imprisoned. It's the opposite of how we feel when we experience the element of air that offers us energy, freedom to express ourselves, change our mind and to have the ability to act on our passions.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Page of Wands - A Gentle Kick in the Butt






This card the Page of Wands has come up twice in five days. When this happens, drawing the same card, initially I get a little frustrated because I just posted the same card. But, I know there's some kind of message for me and because Pages are messengers, I'd better pay attention.

This means digging a little deeper and taking a personal inventory of the positive and the negative. It's time to take a closer look at the areas in our life, examining some of the positive and looking at our character defects, that perhaps we're not quite ready or want to change.

 As I'd stated in a previous post about the Page of Wands, it is a card about personal creative growth, moving forward, with action and enthusiastic discovery. It's a good thing to nip things in the bud that you are already aware of, so as to prevent  more serious problems that might be harder to overcome in the future, and to build upon our existing strengths. I've learned a lot of hard lessons that way, but wished I could have found a ways to have avoided cutting my nose off to spite my face sometimes, but I don't regret my past.

The discoveries we make might be found out the hard way, but hopefully we learn an important lesson. We're the ones who ultimately decide what action we're going to take to improve our situations or if we'll stagnate in a regressive way.
That said, I've learned not to be judgemental, and to be sure that I extend compassion toward myself, like I would any one else, because progress is the goal not perfection.

So I'll contemplate this card today as I think the Page of Wands is an encouraging good kick in the butt.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The Lovers - The Matters of the Heart






Here we see the handsome Trojan prince Paris who's been forced by Zeus to judge a beauty contest between the three goddesses - Hera, Aphrodite and Athene who've offered him many things, the world and then some.

Young Paris didn't understand one darn thing about life, beauty, love or what his inner values were. And so he made his decision with little thought or no matter how unwise. He chose Aphrodite,  the sensual goddess of love. Oh she was a real hotty, and how could he resist? It was a done deal. But this was just the beginning of the troubles that followed his decision.

Honestly, this isn't the card I wanted to see today. But there it is, The Lovers. This card indicates and represents a new love, or being concerned with decisions regarding matters of the heart. It's not something I want to think about so much these days.  But I'm finding myself in the position once again. It mostly gives me more grief than anything I think, to entertain the thought of seriously engaging in a romantic long term relationship again, I admit I'm afraid. I don't have the best track record because of my life experiences. It's not that I fault myself necessarily, it's just the circumstances that was my reality.

I met the man I loved 38 years ago, who I lost suddenly and tragically to illness at 27. I find myself comparing other men to him and often my decision to get involved romantically, is to quote George Bush Sr., no, na-ah, nope, not gona happen, not gona do it, wouldn't be prudent.
I had some short term relationships in between my first and second marriage.

The second time around my marriage ended in divorce after marrying an abusive alcoholic man. Fortunately I decided to get out after two years, but psychologically it was hard to separate and it took me about five years to completely, sever ties. It wasn't easy and I couldn't have done it without having a great deal of counseling and help.

 Growing up with an alcoholic father, co-dependent and eventually becoming alcoholic myself, all added to my insanity, until I got into recovery 23 years ago.

So this card reminds me to make wise decisions. If I'm having a hard time, in confusion, I seek out the help and counsel of some one I trust and or a power greater than myself to draw strength and discernment from everyday.

If you can't figure out how to have a real relationship with yourself, understanding who you are, loving and accepting the person you are, it's impossible to have a healthy, happy relationship with another person. Your ability to make the right decision is unclear and disabled.

Lots of folks these days choose online dating sites. I have friends that it seems to have worked out for them. Time will tell. I have nothing against this and it doesn't matter how you go about meeting someone. What does matter, is knowing what you don't want, what you do want, and knowing what you need is right and good for you.

It takes time and work to have a discerning ability, which is paramount in our relationships. Shared spiritual values with a companion-ability helps to make you good friends who have real fun together, and you laugh a lot, no matter what you do.

As my wise late mother once said to me. If you are going to have a love affair and you find yourself crying more than laughing it's time to leave.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Page of Wands - What's Your Modes-Operandi?


What I love about seeing this Page of Wands that I've drawn today, is the moving forward with creative energy and action that is embodied in this card. It signifies and encourages us to enthusiastically discover our creative capacity within ourselves.

I've been thinking about how I come to terms with my own frustration and concerns about what is happening within our world since the election of Donald Trump. I am loath to call him president. Indeed it's most disturbing for the U.S., but also for the whole world in general. Not simply because of Trump, he's a very bad symptom and outcome of how the wheels of democracy have been going of the rails for a long time.

I've been listening, reading and talking to some friends about political ideology, the meaning of populism and where it's all gone wrong. But this is nothing new really. It's kind of back to the future in that the lack of the ability or will to exercise discernment with kindness, I think are are always directly related to the divisiveness that's happening world wide, based on race and religion. Many bust themselves reacting as opposed to responding in a mindful and wise manner.

I can't help but feel it's history repeating itself however I'm not wanting to go off on some political diatribe, or worse, as tempting as it is sometimes. So what can we do about it? How does this relate to the Page of Wands?

Wands being all about creative growth, combined with the youthful energy of the Page, represents action and enthusiastic energy to move forward in creativity ways. It's not about reacting, but urges us to respond in mindful ways, with discernment. This is certainly a challenge right now, considering the reactionary times and milieu we are living in.

We do need to make our voices heard, and to know and believe that there's good news on the way, in spite of lies, half truths, gossip or "alternative facts'. We need to stand and strive for truth in peace.

 Being an artist it's my modes-operandi to use art to respond to life's events. This can be a powerful way to enable change. My friend Stephen Fearing has done just this is his song Blowhard Nation and I wanted  to share it with you.  Please share if you are so inclined!



Monday, January 23, 2017

The High Priestess - Proserpina





 I had a reassuring and pleasant dream about my late big brother Ralph last night, whom I miss very much. The welcome appearance of The High Priestess that I drew this morning was also reassuring, because I've been missing him and he's been in my thoughts so much lately. In our dreams, is often where we  find comfort from or the answers to our questions, if we pay close attention to them.

 Persephone who is embodied in the High Priestess, ruled by the Moon, and is the queen of the underworld or of the unconscious. She's also the daughter of the Earth Mother Demeter and she is the guardian of the secrets of the dead. Although Persephone would never reveal  or speak of these secrets, I think dreams can give us some sense and glimpse into this hidden world. Personally, I've had number of experiences involving the people I love, that have died, who've visited me in my dreams, which can sometimes be disturbing or comforting.

 The depth of the soul, the secret of our real purpose is revealed through our intuition and the wisdom of  patience. In particular, because I speak from the perspective as a woman, our inner Mother reveals to us our own identity through the creative womb of unconscious and it's a beautiful thing.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Eight of Cups - The Darkest Hour





When I drew this card this morning, I thought, not the Eight of Cups again? I just drew this card of change, disappointment and escapism, three days ago.Why? Then I thought, there's a message here, so I'll dig in to finding out what it is.

Like so many others right now, especially those committed to human rights, I'm preoccupied with the reality of the situation in the US and what it all means to the future of our world. It can be daunting to think about it, but hope will always bring unity overcoming fear and divisiveness.

I'm by nature an optimist and hopeful, but I'm a realist. There is nothing that can drive you mad more that worrying about the past and projecting in the future. So I try hard to refrain from doing either and live in the present, with the decision to change whatever I can.

I heard a song today by Arcade Fire and Mavis Staples which emboldened me with hope in spite of not knowing what the future holds, like Psyche who had fearful feelings of dread and hopelessness. We can not turn back, but we have to walk forward in the power of faith, because we are not alone, and we cannot walk alone.

This may feel like the darkest hour to many, but I do believe in my heart, and soul that the darkest hour is always before dawn.


Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Eight of Cups - Letting Go of the Beavers



Change, escape and disappointment are all reflected in the Eight of Cups.

Psyche is obviously on her way down to the Underworld not knowing if she'll ever return, because she does know many that don't. It appears to be a hopeless and dark journey.

As with so many cards depicted in the Mythic Tarot and situations in life, initially feel and seem like a calamitous scenario with no apparent resolution, but there is always both positive and negative in every card..
Psyche accepts her situation in spite of the expecting the worse outcome. But because of her accepting attitude things do change for her regardless. The situation may not be ideal but the very best that can be expected, is to let go of the outcome. Not being able to let go of the outcome of our problems is like a beaver that continuously gnaws at a tree, and we're the tree. Eventually it falls one way or another or until it dies.

Today I was visited by Ducks Unlimited who maintain the wetland and take care of the dykes in the tidal marsh, that I look out on from my house.  This has recently meant removing the beavers and their habitat. It saddened me to know they had been trapping the beavers and today had come to destroy the beaver's habitat with a big excavator, in order to prevent the beavers from doing any more damage to my trees or building more dams blocking the water way and the ravine the drains into the marsh.
 


I see this recent development as being a kind of life metaphor, in that it reminds me, sometimes the only escape is to have a willingness to be sad and disappointed in order to make way for change.

Sometimes in life the only resolution might be understanding that there is no resolution, and that's acceptance. This can be the most positive lesson and I think really, is the secret to life.



Thursday, January 12, 2017

Nine of Pentacles - The Wolf Moon





Nine of Pentacles is a card of Fruition, Gratitude and Luxury.
I had a great day today. Nothing spectacular happened, but I felt deep gratitude and strength for the blessings in my life, and I got some good news today, which fills me with hope and happiness.

I could also attribute my elevated mood to the Full Moon tonight, which always makes me feel good and sometimes a little doolally. But today I'm feeling grounded, grateful and even a little giddy.




Full Moon names date back to First Nations people and Wolf Moon that's presently hanging in tonight's sky is for me a special one, because I identify so much with wolves.





Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Two of Swords - Stand Still




 Orestes is between his mother and father, at a standstill and in a state of tense balance. Orestes is between a rock and a hard place. He needs to make a choice about facing and accepting an unpleasant reality.

 The Two of Swords is the second two I've drawn this week. Twos represent duality and this card indicates choice and reaching a stalemate. This card accurately depicts my situation these days and for the next 19 months.

 I've learned the hard way over the years that having the wisdom of patience is always a good approach to take when finding ourselves in whatever situation, that is beyond our control. It never works to attempt to force a solution. Letting things naturally unfold over time relieves us of the stress of anxiety and worry and is a much better choice. Action is the antidote to worry.

 Although I can't do anything to change my situation, I know the action I can take, is to exercise patience and acceptance, patience with and acceptance of myself. If I can do this, I am likely to accept what comes my way in life, living life on life's terms. This doesn't come naturally to people. We mostly want, what we want, now or yesterday, and it sure doesn't happen over overnight to most people. It takes practice over time, little by slowly. So I'll buckle up relax and enjoy the ride. I only have one life to live, so I'd better make it a good one, awake and with my eyes wide open.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Two of Pentacles - Serenity




The Two of Pentacles represents being in balance with our physical world, which I think is an ongoing challenge, no matter how hard we try to hold our extremes in check, it's simply an ongoing situation for human beings.


We had our first real snow fall last night. I woke up to warm temperatures and fluffy newly fallen snow. It's beautiful.

Winter In Apple River


 As I've said before, I'm not a lover of Winter, but I think I'm slowly changing my mind. I'm still haven't completely warmed up to it, but I'm learning to appreciate it, to have a more balanced perspective in seeing Winter's beauty.

 I'm grateful to see the snow today because of the natural beauty, but the critters and the whole natural Eco-system generally will definitely fair much better with snow cover.

Nature is very sensitive, and delicately balanced, that we too often forget, until things get out of balance. Every little incidental thing we do to harm or hinder mother nature's natural balance, contributes to changing our environment. At the same time we can do our part no matter how big or small to preserve, protect and improve our environment if we are mindful in doing so.

I think of  my sweet puss cat Shoshe. She's extremely sensitive, and if I speak to her in anyway that she doesn't recognize, she gets upset. I'm not talking about shouting or anything like that, just making any strange verbalization, or if I make a funny little noise that she's not use to, then she won't approach me, until she regains her serenity. It's kind of funny, but see I have to refrain from doing that because she's so sensitive and it puts our relationship off balance.

 We all have to adapt to whatever our circumstances, but it's also important to know what we can do to maintain our balance in the mist of the duality of life.

For me, the Serenity Prayer helps to remind me, as does my little Shoshe cat, that easy does it, will help me find serenity.

Shoshe's Serenity




Monday, January 2, 2017

Five of Wands - Who's Afraid of Monsters?


 In the Five of Wands Jason's fighting the big old ugly monster dragon that's guarding the Golden Fleece, but he's got help from his helper and lover Medea. We all need to find that soft place to fall, someone who can help us battle our demons and dragons. We don't have to do it on our own and today I thank God for that.

 Life will always find some kind of monster like dragon that stands in our way when we're trying to achieve our goals, but with the help, love and support from those that care and love us, in small or in big ways, this is what makes the difference in overcoming, if we are willing to humbly ask for help, or allow them to help us when they offer.

 The other important factor that makes all the difference is my attitude, which has to be a positive one if I'm going to accomplish my goals. And so this New Year I am going to back up my intentions with action instead of simple good intentions which the road to hell can be paved with as we say in the rooms of recovery.

 Though I've been sober twenty three 23 years today,  I still fight my monsterous dragons, that will never change. It's just called life. Today I live life on life's terms. I fight with myself over my procrastination and lack of motivation, because it's always been all or nothing with me, but I've made a lot progress along the way.

 Today I decided I'd go take the hour long walk to my mail box. Understand this can be a real drag for someone who struggles with motivation, especially when it comes to exercising outside in the Winter, because I don't like the cold and I'm just spleeny that way. I've stopped trying to embrace Winter as they say, and just could never get my head around that.

 As I started on my walk to the Super Box Mail Dragon, my neighbour picked me up and gave me a lift! I admit I was glad with the cold wind in my face and by the time I got back I was in serious need of using the facilities, which is so much more comfortable in my own house, as opposed to behind a bush in the woods, in the middle of no where.

 My mail box used to be directly across the road from my house, but now Canada Post in it's great wisdom, in spite of the numerous protests, decided they know how to "best serve" their customers. Before I get off on a tangent, I'll just say this about that.

 I've only been to pick up my mail twice in four weeks since they brought in the new super mail boxes. So instead of seeing this in a negative, I'm trying very hard to see it as a positive. I'll have something to look forward to at the end of my long walk (mail) I hope, like I did today.

 I heard it said once, the definition of an alcoholic is someone who always has to have something to look forward too. And if there isn't any mail, I'll be losing some weight and will feel better about myself mind, body and soul. This I know is the right attitude.

 I was happy to find Christmas cards and even a Christmas cake from my cousin, who happens to work for Canada Post and also is my mailman, but I won't blame him for that! And who doesn't love Christmas cake ;)

So, I'll to take my own advice. I'll keep asking for help when I need it and I'll be hanging on to that positive attitude while weaving the stuff of spirit and heart into my daily life.


Procrastination Monster

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Ace of Pentacles - Choosing Hope Over Fear



Entering this New Year of 2017 like many others I'm sure, my thoughts turn to the state of of world. 2016 seemed full of sadness and pain, that seemed prevalent throughout the world. So with this in mind today, I was happy to draw the Ace of Pentacles a very positive card, full of potential and manifestation. This is a card of great creative energy, tremendous growth and material achievement, and it leaves me feeling very hopeful.

The plague of terrorism, refugees fleeing civil war and the rise of the alt-right is very disturbing, and sometimes leaves a person with feelings of hopelessness. But there have in fact been many positive things that have happened in 2016, in spite of the media coverage and barrage of negative stories that sell copy and ratings but only perpetuate an already existing climate of fear and division.

I also felt hopeful finding an email from Ricken Patel, the Canadian/British founding President and Executive AVVAZ with messages of why 2016 has been a great year for humanity. My immediate visceral and cynical reaction was, you've got to be kidding?! Given more thought I came to conclude that we must have hope, the opposite of fear. Hope is not simply a feeling, it's a choice. I choose hope over fear and division for 2017 and beyond. My hope for 2017 is that you will too.