Pay Pal

Saturday, October 14, 2017

King of Cups - My Burnt Potato

Today on my walk in the countryside, the Autumnal fragrances were intoxicating. The woodland, the earth, and the burning wood smoke, made me think of the days when these smells blended with the scent of the horse I'd ride this time of the year. It's was my idea of heaven on earth.

When you burn your potato in the microwave, like I did the other night, that's the end of that potato, but that smell hovers in the air for days, and it's really awful, an experience I'd rather forget, and I'll definitely avoid doing again in the future.

Smell is a sense that resonates deep in the memory of days gone by, of past relationships beginnings and endings. You suddenly find yourself in the present and you wonder what does this all mean? And ask, why am I here in this situation? It can be very confusing.

The sensitive, sympathetic, creative and poetic musician, the wounded healer, King of Cups thinks about this. He's lost emotionally, but more than willing to go above and beyond in extending his kind hand and heart; empathetic toward others, but can't seem to heal his own wounded heart. He's unable to achieve the fulfilling relationship which is so desired. He often loses the very thing he most desires.

The King of Cups never relinquishes control, as he doesn't ultimately trust the world of the unconscious, which he can't see.  He's enthroned in water, but can't submerge himself for fear of drowning, which is a metaphor for one letting go, or surrendering to another.

Many of us feel the same way the King of Cups does, not quite trusting life enough to take it's course, because we've been wounded through personal relationships, often those with parents; and we form relationships where we remain in control, and can't be that deeply hurt again.

By remaining in control, we cheat and short change ourselves. This King of Cups is rather like that old burnt potato in the microwave, burnt, wounded, with little to no purpose. We are unable to find happiness within ourselves, and are unable to be born before we die.

If I didn't Have Your Love - Leonard Cohen

 If the sun would lose its light And we lived an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel That's how it would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the stars were all unpinned And a cold and bitter wind Swallowed up the world without a trace Ah, well that's where I would be What my life would seem to me If I couldn't lift the veil and see your face And if no leaves were on the tree And no water in the sea And the break of day had nothing to reveal That's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the sun would lose its light And we lived in an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel If the sea were sand alone And the flowers made of stone And no one that you hurt could ever heal Well that's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Page of Cups - Good News!

This is the second Page I've drawn in two days. Messages of encouragement, clarity and transformation are very welcomed for sure!

Sometimes it's difficult to be hopeful, sensitive, helpful and loyal when we're struggling and can result in tunnel vision or we become myopic, seeing our problems only and focusing solely on ourselves. We might even feel after a loss, or a painful life experience that we've nothing to give anyone. It's been my experience that there's nothing more helpful to me, than reaching out to those who are also struggling.

Help can come in so many forms, and the smallest of kindnesses should never be minimized, as it can mean all the difference to someone else, bringing them happiness, perhaps save a life, that might even be our own.

There's a powerful and beautiful synchronicity that happens when we're in this situation, reaching out to others in difficulty, in that we help ourselves in the process, by giving to another in whatever way possible. When we pay it forward this generosity is hopefully passed on to another, who will in turn, pay it forward.

Moving away from self-preoccupation, to having an awareness of others, is a self-sacrifice that can creatively transform our lives, and that's the good news!

Friday, October 6, 2017

Page of Swords - Blowing Up a Storm

Creative curiosity, innate capabilities and the raw childlike energy of independent thought, are all embodied in the Page of Swords.

Here we see depicted the mythic figure of Zephyrus, brother to Boreas. These two brothers were worshiped as savage and baleful forces of nature, immature and unbridled. They took pleasure in brewing up storms, though Zephyrus's nature eventually softened and transformed himself through his union with the beautiful and gentle Iris, the guardian of the rainbow, whom we met in the Major Arcana card Temperance.

The underlining message indicated, and the challenge set before me in the Page of Swords is to refrain from childish and unbridled behaviour. If I react childishly I'll more likely than not, be treated accordingly, in kind. When I make mountains out of mole hills, I stir up trouble for myself and for others.  And if others choose to gossip about me, I have to remind myself, what people think of me, is really none of my business. If I avoid gossip, gossip will tend to avoid me.

We are all on a different points of the emotional, intellectual and spiritual spectrum. One size does not fit all. Left over scars from our youth and left over familial issues sometimes come to the surface, and are born out in our adult relationships because we've been hurt in the past, and we tend to act out in the way we did as children, in order to cope. However these coping mechanisms no longer work as an adult. But if we give ourselves a chance, it certainly is possible to change these old behaviours in order to heal our hurts and free ourselves to be happy and healthy adults.

"We change our behaviour when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change. "
                                                                                - Henry Cloud

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

A Tarot Reading for 2018

Kliban's Tarot Reading Cat

Some Tarot readers don't like to do their own readings, as it can be difficult to maintain a objectivity when reading for themselves. I understand that, but I don't find it too concerning.

Not having ready access to another Tarot reader, living in very Nova Scotia, I opt to read for myself, but only when I'm searching for some needed answers occasionally, I'll do my own reading.

Drawing a daily card helps to give some discernment and insight that relates to life in general,  and often gives me answers to questions I didn't know I even had. It's a regular discipline that enables me to develop a relationship with the cards.

I've never posted any of my own personal readings, because well, they're personal! But today, I decided, because 2018 is one of those big milestone years for me, turning the big 65. Next year is going to be a huge positive change in many ways, and I'm certainly looking forward to seeing the passing of 295 days before then, but who's counting? I know it's said that you shouldn't wish your time away, but I admit it's marked on my calendar everyday.

I've use the Celtic Cross spread, based on the Mythic Tarot deck. My open ended question was a bit either or but to be less ambiguous,  it's always a wise decision to get specific, and so I asked, what will 2018 hold for me concerning my creative art enterprise? In my thoughts, but not included in my question, was related to finding a romantic partner. Eek... now I'm feeling vulnerable letting the world know this! I might be ready for a relationship, but truth is, maybe love's not ready for me. I wish I was more hopeful.

My written interpretation is the same format I use for my clients.
I'd love to hear another interpretation from another Tarot reader. No need to interpret anything really in depth, I'd just appreciate some feed back.


POSITION ONE is sometimes called the Covering Card and sometimes called the Significator. The card will reflect the situation, inner and outer, in which the individual finds himself or herself at the present moment.

Knight of Pentacles
Pentacles concern our physical selves and all things connected with the element of the earth and the material plane. The earth is a changeable dimension, constantly in motion, and is represented in this card.

This Court card symbolizes a youthful, diligent hard worker, and one who is versatile and a very creative figure. There is a love of the countryside, having a love of animals and all the wild critters.

Embodied in this image is the mythic figure Aristaeus, and who's called ' Guardian of the Flocks'.
He's the son of Apollo the sun-god. He was given to the Earth Mother who fed him nectar and ambrosia.  He was taught how to make cheese by the tree-nymphs, establish bee-hives and how to grow olives. Yum! Where can I find this guy! ;)

When Aristaus reached maturity, he was also taught the arts of healing and prophecy. He was honoured for his wisdom, and embodies that side of us which is humbly relates to all existing life forms and is ready to learn from all of nature, finding contentment in the ordinary tasks and routines of daily life.

POSITION TWO is called the Crossing Card, and describes that situation, inner and outer, which is generating conflict and obstruction in the immediate present. It is the thing which 'crosses' the seeker,and indicates the apparent nature of the problem. However, the Crossing Card is not necessarily negative, but simply represents the situation which is generating the conflict and stirring up matters. In a sense, it prevents the Significator from from fully expressing, and causes blockage in life.

Ace of Wands
Wands ruled by the element of fire signifies action, energy, inspiration, potential, growth and creativity.
The mythic figure of Zeus embodied within, is the symbol of the invisible, a creative vision,  vivid imagination and the power that created the universe. Raw creative energy is accompanied by a strong sense that new things are possible, and a new adventure is about to be embarked upon, in pursuit of a creative vision.

POSITION THREE is called the Crowning Card. It is apparent simply from its visual appearance – hanging directly over the Significator – that the card which appears in this position describes the atmosphere and situation which which hangs over the seeker in the immediate present. What is at the crown of something is what appears in full view on the top; and thus the card which appears here reflects what is out on the surface and immediately apparent in the seeker's life.

Eight of Pentacles
This card indicates change, pro-active engagement and life long learning. The apprentice Daedalus is seen working hard at developing his skills. This is the card of the apprentice, with the spirit of dedication and focused fresh energy, accompanied by enthusiasm of a new adventure in growth, manifesting and actualizing new things.

POSITION FOUR is called the Base of the Matter. This describes the inner and outer situation, drive, instinct or aspiration which really is behind the apparent surface situation reflected by the Crowning Card. What is at the base is really what is at the root of the psyche, and often this card comes as a surprise to the seeker, who may not have been aware of an unconscious motivation which needs to be brought into awareness. We do not always act or feel things for the reasons we think, and the card which appears at the Base of the Matter will often contradict the apparent reason for the dilemma at the time of consulting the cards.

Ace of Cups
The complex goddess Aphrodite,  initiated the tale of love between Eros and Psyche. She's a force of nature and as with all Aces, means there is an eruption of raw energy. This card signifies the urge toward relationship, and there is an implied readiness for relationship and the beginning of the journey of the realm of the heart, although this has not yet been manifested.


POSITION FIVE is called Past Influences. The card which appears in the position describes the inner and outer situation which is now passing out of the seeker's life. In the past it had been important, perhaps representing a set of values which the individual held in high esteem; but has lost its potency, and the seeker needs to be able to let go of whatever this card represents before the new future developments can be integrated creatively into life.

Three of Pentacles
Communication, teamwork and collaboration are all represented in this card. When reaching for goals, they're not accomplished in a vacuum. Needing and asking for help is not weakness, but strength, ensuring the completion of  objectives and success in achieving a goal.
There have been big celebrations in the past, but there is still work to come, with the knowledge of the personal limitations involved and what can be realistically handled in the future.

POSITION SIX is called Forthcoming Influences. The card which appears in this position describes the inner and outer situation which is about to manifest in the seeker's life. This is not in the long-term prognosis of future outcome, but rather a description of the currents at work in the immediate future.

Athene's triumphant cry of victory is a celebration of truth and ethical principles, based on fairness and objectivity. There is also reflective judgement and rational thought. These individual faculties act as firm guidelines for the choices made.

Justice is the first of the Four Moral Lessons, that concern our development of those individual faculties needed to live a functional, effective and balanced life. Doing so, honours and reclaims the sacred feminine, body, mind and spirit.

POSITION SEVEN is called Where One Finds Oneself, and it is a kind of future extension of Position One, the Significator. The card which appears in this position describes the attitude or inner state of affairs in which the self will soon find himself or herself. This card, like the Significator, describes a set of attitudes or inner qualities, and will often represent what needs to be developed as well as what is likely to unfold.

Ace of Pentacles
There is manifestation and prosperity. Here, Poseidon is embodied as the god of fertility, another raw force of nature. There is a burst of new energy for material creation. The Ace of Wands rises upward with the birth of a new creative vision. Simultaneously, the Ace of Pentacle's creative capacity turns downward to the world. There is then an eruption of energetic and fresh ambition toward creation and successful achievement. Monies are finally available and through ingenuity and persistence these resources can be utilized effectively.

POSITION EIGHT is called the View of Others, and it describes the image which those around us - friends and family – hold of our situation and ourselves. The card which appears in this position will usually imply what kind of response to our situation we can expect from others, and also what we ourselves have been unconsciously doing to project such an image to the world outside. Often an individual who is going through problems of one kind or another does not receive the understanding and sympathy from friends and loved ones that he or she hopes for, and the card in Position Eight can often tell us why not; for this is the view the world has of us, and it may contradict the way we feel as easily as it may honestly reflect our situation.

Two of Swords
Being in a state of paralysis, due to opposing forces, is a 'hurry up and wait' scenario, reflecting tension and anxiety. But there is a need to accept the situation as is, and find creative ways to handle it. The Serenity Prayer comes immediately to my mind, and striving to live in the present, one day, one moment at a time, instead of projecting into the future or worrying about the past.

POSITION NINE is called Hopes and Fears. Both hopes and fears can be described by one card, for all the cards in the Tarot deck have a double face. What fears troubles the Seeker? What does the seeker secretly wish for? This card divulges the hidden desires and attitudes of the Seeker, as well upcoming changes in the Seeker's perspective.

Ten of Cups
Completion is present in the number ten.
Now, Psyche is raised to a divine and immortal status, and implies that her love in not only personal and sensual but encompasses a spiritual dimension. This card indicates a striving for a state of permanence, meaning and ongoing contentment in the realm of the heart and in the rightness of life.

' When we look into the face of the beloved, we see there the reflection of the god to whose choir we once belonged.'
                                                                                                                     - Plato

POSITION TEN is called the Final Outcome. The word 'final' can be misleading here, for nothing is absolutely final, as we have seen in the circular journey of the Fool; and the card which appears in this position describes a situation not of a lifelong permanence, but one which is the natural outgrowth of whatever we are going through at the moment. As we have said, this 'final outcome' may cover a period of around six months.

Ten of Swords
Again completion is indicated through the end of an ancient family curse on Orestes, this end has come about through the judgment and fairness of Justice. The completion of this process began with the birth of new ideas and perceptions of life in the Ace.

It heralds the end of a difficult situation, and affirms that the sun will rise again, there is release and redemption. A new future can begin.

In Conclusion

Drawing three Aces, the Ace of Wands, Ace of Cups and the Ace of Pentacles symbolize a lot of raw energy.
Focused action and energy toward creative growth is seen in the Ace of Wands.
Emotional energy is indicated in the Ace of Cups connected to relationships, friendship and romance.
Energy and fulfillment with all things connected to our physical selves is reflected in the Ace of Pentacles.

Having drawn four Pentacles, the Knight of Pentacles, Eight of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles and the Ace of Pentacles, there is an overall implied emphasis as previously mentioned above regarding all things connected to the physical self. The element of the earth concerns property, work, finances and practical matters.

I feel very positive about this reading in regards to my creative endeavours, and my physical well being. I've been steadily walking 45 minutes a day, gaining strength and gradually seeing a decrease in my weight, each week when I attend weekly weigh-ins at my great local support group. As a woman I am determined to continue work and restoring the sacred feminine principle within by reclaiming and honouring my body. 

Fear of financial insecurity has been an ongoing anxiety for me over the past years. It's finally begun to subside. Not because I've more funds but I've worked at increasing by faith and trust. It's not been easy.

Next year my financial situation will increase, and I finally after so many years of struggle living on a very limited income, my stress level related to trying to make ends meet will mostly disappear.

Concerning the realm of the heart and being ready for a relationship, that sounds encouraging but I have no unrealistic expectations finding a partner.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Four of Pentacles - Stability and Creative Energy

The first thing that comes to my mind when seeing the Four of Pentacles today is this anonymous quote.

"My life's purpose is much clearer when I just work to help, not to possess."

The representation seen in the Four of Pentacles is Daedalus tightly clutching all that he has and what he has worked so hard for and accumulated over his lifetime. He's fearful that his nephew Talos is going to usurp his worldly material position, and possessions. Daedalus is angry and jealous feeling based on his fearful attitude that causes him to take hold of his money with too tight a grasp. This only leads to very negative consequences for Talos and Daedalus both.

There's an important message in this card. The more firmly a grip we have on our material possessions the more elusive they become resulting in unhappiness, because we sure can't take it with us, and if our true self-value is bound up in things, what we make and what we have blocks our creative energy, our self-expression.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Death - Change and The River Styx

I always have a little chuckle when I draw this card because this depiction of the Death really does look like Darth Vader.

No, it's not Darth Vader, but Hades, lord of the underworld, brother to Zeus, and he was also called Pluto, which means 'riches', because his realm is full of hidden wealth.

Most people who aren't familiar with the Major Arcana card Death, are immediately fearful of this image in a reading, because it's taken literally, believing it's a foreboding prediction of a physical death. This is simply not the case. It's the card of transition and represents a coming to grips with what it entails, by accepting and opening ourselves to the door that's closing, and to another door that's opening.

Transition is often not so easy, depending on our capacity to accept and recognize, endings are necessary, and can also present an opportunity for deep personal growth and a new life, if we can find a way over time to let go of the old one.

One thing for certain about change, is that it's constantly in flux, and ever present in our lives, whether we like it or not. I don't think there is any one who is always comfortable knowing this fact, whether the change is positive or negative, as it's often difficult to accept.

We all have and develop our own comfort zones, that we might see as being threatened by change. Most of us, depending on what the change is we're presented with, will resist and deny, which often can make things more difficult, especially if we're not willing to go with the flow or we can't wear the world as a loose garment.

The stage of change brings sadness and mourning, represented by The River Styx and is as necessary as joy and celebration.

"We change our behaviour when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing."

      - Henry Cloud

 Apple River - Catherine Meyers

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Eight of Pentacles - Deal or No Deal?

Eight of Pentacles - Deal or No Deal?

The Eight of Pentacles can be seen as an ongoing theme of accepting change in our daily lives, whatever hand we are dealt, urging us to let go and remain hopeful.

We see Persephone headed down the stairs to the underworld in pursuit of Aphrodite's beauty cream! She's very aware of the likelihood, that she'll not be returning. She's let go and resigned herself to this and accepted this reality, but all is far from lost.

When it comes to loosing hope, there's really no deal. In desperation we might be thinking we can some how guarantee a future reconciliation, but this isn't relinquishing control. Coming to the realization that we can't bully, plead,  or make with deal with the divine or some how blackmail our way into a solution, is a useless exercise.

When we're at this point on our lives , now's the time to take advantage of the opportunity to educate ourselves, and learn the lessons to be found in letting go. We may feel that we've lost everything, but there is much to be gained.

The truth of the situation must be faced. There's nothing else left to do, and there's no way to go, except to let go. This letting go often is accompanied with depression, sadness and morning. If we can proactively engage in the same kind of positive change and transformation we find in the Death card, we'll find a tangible and real hope that we can apply to our lives in a real way.

Letting go will change us by submitting to that which is greater, the will of the divine, the great Goddess of Love which is imaged in the Eight of Pentacles.

Friday, September 29, 2017


Christine de Pisan - Catherine Meyers

My internet server has been down for two weeks but that hasn't stopped me from writing about 16 blog posts, so please stay tuned, I've been busy unplugged!

The Devil-The Devil Made Me Do It

The Devil - Made Me Do It!

Wearing the world as a loose garment comes to mind when I think about this card. I learned the hard way many years ago, that I'm responsible for my own happiness. It's an ongoing lesson in one way or another that is proportional to my conscious contact with the Creator every day.

This isn't an easy lesson, living in a world that seems to perpetuate the illusion of happiness, to be found outside of ourselves, as we can spend a life time trying to fill a spiritual void with this illusion. I call it a hole in the soul.

It's a perfect card for me to draw today as I contemplate how I'm addicted to the internet.

Addiction is often what's reflected in this Major Arcana card of The Devil or represents emotional, spiritual and physical  bondage of some sort. Pan is the embodied god and the goat figure symbolizes the scapegoat, symbolizing the person or thing that people project their inferior side of themselves on to, in order to make themselves feel better. Being human is about accepting ourselves, the positive and negative, is a necessary life lesson to learn and essential to our happiness.

It's easy to blame this or that, or someone else for our life troubles. But ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions and for our own happiness.

"Write your sorrows in sand and your blessings in stone."

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Ten of Wands - Rug Wrassling and Even My Coffee Needs a Coffee

The initial impression you get from the Ten of Wands is a very bleak one. Jason is in a bad way psychologically. He imprisoned really, surrounded by burning wands, with his grand ship the Argos in the background damaged and run aground on the shoreline.

Jason finally, after all his obstacles struggles, in his quest for the Golden Fleece, is now in his possession. He doesn't however, appreciate his great accomplishments and is feeling despondent and dissatisfied with life in general, wondering what he can do now. You could also say, he's feeling sorry for himself.

We can all feel this way a some point in our lives. The adventure and quest is what is often more appealing to us. The Adrenalin rush that comes from accomplishment can be addictive, leaving us wanting more.  Once the goal has been achieved and completed there can be an anti-climatic reaction, and we're left feeling let down and burdened, perhaps with feelings of self-doubt. a loss of identity and with feelings of self-pity.

Taking responsibility for our attitude, turning our feelings of frustration, disappointment, and burden into a positive experience, enables personal growth, if we are determined to be propelled forward in doing so.

Yesterday I was given the opportunity to do something I really didn't think I wanted to take on as I wasn't certain I was qualified. Part of me felt I could do this because I've had enough life experience, but my fear of failure and responsibility made me rather hesitant, so I said initially no, when asked. But I decided to step up and do the right thing for myself and for everyone else concerned. I'm happy I accepted the challenge, and I'm looking forward to it, determined with confidence and optimism.

Now this takes me to today, when I spent a good part of the morning and afternoon rug wrasslin' with this huge rug I spot cleaned clean by hand, using baking soda, vinegar and dish soap and then rinsed with my garden hose. Then i tried drying it over the railing of my deck. I had to drag it into the house, because it was giving rain later tonight.

The thing was way too big, heavy, and cumbersome trying to hang it over the banister in the hall. So then I again dragged it back outside thinking I'd attempt to hang it on my clothes line. Nope, clothes broke. I fixed the clothes line with a handy new mini-winch gizmo I've had in my junk drawer forever. The reason I'd never replaced it, was because I was doubting I'd be able to replace the antique rusted winch, after all don't you need a man to fix this, so I never bothered. But now I had to fix my clothes line regardless, cause a single country gal can't live with out her clothes line and there's no man to be found!

When you live alone, you end up having to do it yourself much of the time. It can create a lot of anxiety. You can feel burdened, mostly by over whelming negative feelings of self-doubt, that can translate into wanting to just through in the towel. Some folks might say that's strength, but for me I think it has a lot to do with my stubborn nature.

So long story. I have a enviable clothes line, a clean rug hung over my perfect Maple tree! No sign of rain with a beautiful breeze.

What I continue to learn is, I never know what I can accomplish, big and small, if I just  bravely embrace and open myself to new experiences. This makes me stronger when I take responsibility to complete the tasks at hand, and unburden myself. And coffee always helps!

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Two of Pentacles - How to Keep Your Balls in the Air

It might seem oddly amusing to tell some that I learned how to juggle on Prince Edward Island, where. I was hanging around two fellows who were juggling clowns and was desperate to learn how to keep my balls in the air!

Little did I know what that would lead to, and what was ahead for me, an adventure of a life time. Once I learned how to juggle I was hooked and wanted to know everything about clowning and found myself leaving the protection of a very rural farming community of P.E.I. and heading to the mean streets of the city to study Mime in Toronto Ontario.

This is where and when my life changed forever through deep a profound love, followed by tragic loss. Needless to say I was no longer interested or able to know how to keep my balls in the air and simply wanted to give up on life. I'd reached that jumping off point that so many young people experience after loosing someone to death, whom you love so much.

 I was no longer "juggling". I was barely treading water, and felt like I was rapidly loosing ground. I kept on for my family, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, until I met a community of others who cared for me more than I cared for myself and they loved me back to joy, and to life.

One thing that never changes in life is change, as I'm reminded of this today, drawing the Two of Pentacles. Looking back I see how juggling has become the metaphor for my life. This card symbolizes change and the fluctuation in the flow of creative energy that needs to be grounded, channeled balanced, regardless of my circumstances.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Two of Cups - Overcoming Fear

 Duality, balance, and attraction are the implied indications in the Two of Cups.

I find it curious to note, Eros is sneaking up on Psyche. He seemingly is attempting to take her by surprise but after Eros accidentally pricks himself with the arrow he intended to kill Psyche with, the unexpected result is, Eros falls in love with Psyche and their tumultuous relationship begins.

 As in life we're often surprised and fear the way events unfold. Something we initially might think as being a negative or a positive experience can often lead to a positive or negative outcome, because we've found another door that's opened to us when one has closed, one that we'd never imagined.

It doesn't mean that this all will unfold in an easy manner, and it might be the case that the very opposite will be our reality. We may feel we've gone from the frying pan to the fire and have been completely kicked to the curb, but regardless, the end result will eventually be transformed into something better than what was before or maybe not. We do however have to find a way through.

 On the other hand the unfairness of life, as in nature, many times, makes absolutely no sense, leaving us fearful, confused, dumbfounded and despairing. We are left with the unanswered question, why is this happening?

 I've concluded if I have little to no ability or strength to accept life and death on the their terms,no mine, whatever is presented to me, this is when and what becomes problematic. Acceptance, not denial is always the key that opens a door of hope and freedom enabling me to overcome my fear.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Six of Swords and The Sturgeon Moon

This card represents growth, transition and the rite of passage. The Six of Swords portrays moving away from turbulent events and feelings, toward a calmer and a peaceful state of mind.

We see Orestes standing stalwart in his boat in spite of the turbulent waters underneath. He is focused at what lies ahead, on the calm waters in the distance, until he reaches his destination.

This is a fitting card to draw today and particularly at this juncture of my life, as it coincides with the Sturgeon Moon, signifying a time of growth and abundance.

Spending a good part of my morning outside in my garden today, I planted some seeds for Fall crops. My heart did a little jump up and turn around jig, seeing that all my hard effort was finally starting to pay off. A number of my vegetables are getting established and are growing.

 I can look forward to an abundant harvest into the Fall. In spite of bugs eating my first crop of beans, drought and the seeds that didn't germinate I forged ahead. I mulched, transplanted, watered, weeded and replanted new seeds that I was certain would germinate.

I try to approach life much the way I do my garden. There are good years and not so good, but you don't give up, but persist, pray and trust that there will be a better season next year, if this one wasn't the best. There is always some kind of abundance to be found and with help, we grow, face toward the sun and the moon, grateful for the light and the dark, as we can't have one without the other.

The Six of Swords reminds me, I can't reap the harvest unless I do the work. Unless I'm persistent without getting distracted and discouraged by all the stormy waters going on around me, otherwise I will not likely reach my destination. We reap just what we sow.

Mother's Prayers Are Carried To The Grandmother

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Insight or New Age Woo-Woo and Unicorns?

"A ritual is the enactment of a myth. And, by participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth wisdom of the psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are being, as it were, put in accord with that wisdom"
~ Joseph Campbell

Over the years I've come to love Tarot more deeply and it fits very well with my creative personality as a visual artist and because I also love to write. Tarot  lends itself to story telling or myth which directly relates to the subject matter of my art work.

There isn't anything I dislike about tarot. I do however find that the misconceptions, skepticism, and deception that surrounds Tarot very frustrating. The Major and Minor Arcana cards of the Tarot are not responsible for this but is attributed to those individuals doing the reading.

I sometimes find myself having to explain just what Tarot reading is, because generally speaking I don't think the average person understands Tarot and what to expect from a reader. I certainly don't mind providing a clear explanation. However it is disconcerting when I meet those who've had negative experiences after having had a reading done.

I've met people that have had unscrupulous readers tell them untruths, half truths or out and out lies. This is both disturbing and hurtful to those entrusting a stranger to supposedly give them some insight,clarity and guidance.

First and foremost a reader's responsibility and the foundation principle of a Tarot reader's philosophy, and what is paramount is to do no harm. For example, to tell someone there is going to be a death, or some other kind of foreboding bad news is not kosher, period! The individual having a reading done should be left with a positive feeling with some insight and clarification of whatever issue they have relating to the question they've asked.

Yes their are those who will present themselves and Tarot as some kind of what I call magical New Age Woo-Woo. But their are those Tarot readers who are principled with great integrity, who hold the Tarot reading as a kind of sacred covenant of ancient wisdom, much like a ritual and consider it a privilege to read the Tarot cards.

Tarot readers with integrity, are very grateful to be given the gift and the opportunity to read for others. They are perceptive and intuitive em-paths, not so-called fortune tellers, and do no harm.

I'm no fan of the description "New Age", because as a Tarot reader, what I do is not new, but very old, very ancient, dating back to the 11th century. I also tend to think the concept of New Age is more confusing than clarifying to the average person.

I'm not implying that there aren't those who have psychic abilities or who are even visionaries, or mystics. What I'm saying is that it's not a prerequisite to being a Tarot reader, but a sense of humour is, along with intuition, perception, having a love and appreciation of humanity, with a good supply of humility are all essential, minus all the Woo-Woo and the unicorns!


Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Seven of Swords - What Interferes with my Ability to Make Discerning Decisions

This card, the Seven of Swords relates to our ability or inability to make rational decisions, and doing the right thing. Of course making the "right" decisions is much easier said than done, no matter how good our intentions. The adage, the road to hell is paved with good intentions comes to mind. As human beings we can easily deceive and betray ourselves

I know this through experience, decisions that I've made in the past solely based on emotion have often lead me down the wrong road. But I learned from these mistakes. I've also learned about discernment that  enabled me to fine tune my ability to make decisions using my intuition and my mostly sensible mind!

The mythic figure of Orestes in the Seven of Swords represents an application of mental energy in a cautious and cunning way. Fact is Orestes must live with the decision he makes and the consequences that follow.

Although Orestes is walking a dark path, there is a shining light behind him that enables him find his way, if he chooses to be led by this light.

It's easy to fool ourselves into believing we're doing the right thing, without a thought to how our decisions will effect others in the present, or in the long term future.

My experience has been that when I've made decisions based upon my emotional reactions, or on my intellect alone, void of having any balance between my head and heart, this mostly resulted in a negative outcome. And I've paid a price for making decisions this way, because my ability to make discerning decisions has been hindered and interfered with by my emotion. It's what I'd call having dis-ease of the emotions, which is manifested in numerous ways, be it alcohol or other addictions.

So this card for me has a significant and important caveat. I'm reminded to allow for faith in the balance between my intuition and intellect to guide my way, enabling me to make discerning decisions in my life based on faith. That's what makes you strong.

If you love somebody
Then that means you need somebody
And if you need somebody
That's what makes you weak
But if you know you're weak
And you know you need someone
O it's a funny thing
That's what makes you strong
That's what makes you strong
That's what gives you power
That's what lets the meek come sit beside the king
That's what lets us smile
In our final hour
That's what moves our souls
And that's what makes us sing
And to trust somebody
Is to be disappointed
It's never what you wanted
And it happens every time
But if you're the trusting kind
This don't even cross your mind
O it's a funny thing
That's what makes you strong
That's what makes you strong
That's what gives you power
That's what lets the meek come sit beside the king
That's what lets us smile
In our final hour
That's what moves our souls
And that's what makes us sing
Written by Jesse Winchester • Copyright © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

Thursday, July 27, 2017

The Sun - What is the Secret to Happiness?

The secret to happiness is, is that there is no secret!

Truth is I seldom draw this Major Arcana card but when I do my heart does the happy dance, because this card reminds me to be happy regardless of what is going on around me. For me it's a matter of attitude, and gratitude.

Happiness may seem like a secret but it's not. Simply to some of us, myself included take a while figuring out what makes us happy and learning that we're the only ones responsible for making our own happiness, nothing or no one else will. Oh sure people, places and things can add to our happiness, just not what will ultimately make us happy.

When I drew this card today my thoughts immediately went to my late friend Lillian (Diamond Lil) that I spent many hours with. She taught me a lot about happiness. She was also a long time Tarot reader and The Sun was her card, that she kept placed on the door of her refrigerator. After reading Lil's cards one day, which was the best card reading I've ever seen to date, I came to completely understand why the Sun was her card. Lillian was a finest example of what it means to have a striving and victorious spirit, both aspects symbolized by the sun-god.

And like the sun-god Lillian loved her music, played and entertained many folks over her long life. And just like Apollo, music,  an expression of the sun-god that transforms our darkness into light and meaning.When sorrow and fear was brought to Apollo in song he would take those sorrows and fears away.
Music is what healed, helped and transformed Lillian.

Friday, July 21, 2017

The Star - No Blind Hope - Promise

The Star - Egg Tempera on gesso panel - Catherine Meyers - 2017

I've been busy this July and haven't had a whole lot of time to get to writing my usual post on my Tarot blog, which I've missed. But July is quickly coming to a close and I'm staying put, home for the remainder of the Summer. As much as I enjoy visiting and having some new experiences away, the best part is coming home, I must say, because it's very much my comfort zone. That said I need to get out of my comfort zone in order to grow, and to help me appreciate what gives me happiness and affirms how I alone am responsible for that.

This month I attended a wonderful - the 31st women's weekend with life long friends at the beach, saw a great concert with Rawlins Cross at Jost Winery, did a reading for a beautifully spirited young woman and we all ate scrumptious food.

The week before I was over the moon to be included as one of nine students in an egg tempera Master Class with renowned egg tempera painter Tom Forrestall and his son William Forrestall for five days. This was truly a life time opportunity, one of those self-actualizing experiences I'd say for me.

Comfort zones and self-actualizing experiences is a good segue-way to my topic this morning. Connecting with my own creativity, the study and practice of reading Tarot have been both for me over the years, and have changed my life in countless ways.

People often have misconceptions and are misinformed about how Tarot works, and there are probably just as many interpretations and explanations of this, and it's not much wonder folks are often left confused and skeptical. None the less, it's very important I believe to ask and to get the answers to our questions.

If we can dig deep enough, I think we can find our own answers to the question, how does Tarot work, much in the same way we come to understand how creativity works. I'm of the opinion that creativity and Tarot share many similarities and characteristics. In particular they both share two primary elements and qualities when it comes to intuition and perception. One primary per-requisite and conduit to both intuition and perception is having a open heart and an open mind. This has always worked for me. It doesn't mean that the difficulties of life disappeared but I was stronger because of the difficulties, not in spite of them because my heart and mind were open in trust and in faith.

I can give metaphysical and even scientific explanations what quantum physics calls entanglement regarding Tarot or creativity, but I think it all might just come down to what individuals are curious about, enough to find the answers to their questions. It might sound cliche, but it's also following what makes you happy, what Joseph Campbell calls "following your bliss." And for me creativity, reading Tarot and making connection between the two gives me great satisfaction, reward and happiness.

Being human beings, we can't find all the answers to all our questions and there is a certain beautiful mystery to life that can either leave us feeling skeptical and cynical or we can choose a faith based approach, with a trust in knowing that we can ultimately relinquish control, trust the world of the unconscious and trust life enough to take its course.

Friday, June 30, 2017

Two of Wands - Out of the Sanctuary of the Cave

The Two of Wands signifies the formulation of a new vision and creative idea that is coalescing. This card indicates a pervasive sense of duality or polarity, and the opportunity and having the willingness to pick up with both hands, all the progress and discovery that is freely offered, enabling a harmonious and positive future.

Tomorrow Canadians, or many of of us, will celebrate Canada Day. I don't share this enthusiasm. Oh yes I will emphatically state, I'm so grateful to live in Canada, as there's so much to be thankful for living in this country, and I will always feel this way. But as far as the celebrations over the past 150 years, I can't feel much more than the sting of hypocrisy because this history is heavily overshadowed by the dark legacy and travesty against Indigenous people in countless ways, that was an attempt to commit nothing short of genocide through Colonialism, and this is nothing to celebrate.

I may not share the enthusiasm of Canada Day but I certainly do share the hope of a new creative vision for Canada's future, that depends upon individual courage and faith in that invisible creative power and capacity to generate positive change. This vision of the new path ahead, where human beings are united together as one people, will make a better country, and a better world.

 Does my attitude make me any less Canadian?  I don't think so, but I do hope it just might make me a better Canadian because I share a different vision in hopes that we can't make the same mistake twice.

Friday, June 23, 2017

The Hermit - The Way to Wisdom

Normally when I draw a card each day I don't usually ask a question. I do pay attention to how the card relates to my life and perhaps to what is going on around me. Tonight I asked a closed question, which really doesn't lead to a very clear answer and opposed to an open ended question. What I think my psyche was really asking, was how to find the way to wisdom, and this is what my answer directly related to.

Often when it comes to reading the Tarot we might not like the answers revealed relating to our question. We want a happily ever after scenario, which is magical thinking and not realistic.

This was the case today when I pulled The Hermit in hopes I'd get an answer that I wanted to hear as opposed to what I actually needed to hear. This card is the image of The Fool's last moral lesson. Here is the mythic image of Cronos, who's name means time, carries the lamp of insight and understanding that has come from loneliness and patient waiting, which The Hermit card implies.

The lesson and the gift of patience with the limitations of our mortal life and with solitude, comes self-discovery and then comes acceptance. This is the way to wisdom.

There is no crystal ball into the future, and I'm sure as heck not a psychic. I think often times we know the answers to many of our questions before we even ask, but we often need to see a kind of tangible clarity that lies within the archetypal meaning of the cards, reflecting our present situation, and what's going on within our psyche.

We can't always get what we want, but I do believe we get what we need, and this will help us to find the way to wisdom. The Hermit's lamp is the beacon of light in the dark, pointing us in the right direction along our path.

forest in summer
Then flash the wings returning summer calls
Through the deep arches of her forest halls
–Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841–1935)

Saturday, June 17, 2017

King of Cups - The Ideal Father

The King of Cups is a card of emotional balance. Something that's often hard to find within ourselves.
John Bradshaw once said that 95% of the population is dysfunctional and co-dependent in some way, and the other 5% are in denial.

I remember back in the 80s when I first heard about ACOA Adult Children of Alcoholics and the given description of the behavioral personality characteristics displayed by those who grow up in alcoholic homes. It very accurately described me to a tee and that was just the beginning of my own personal recovery journey.

 I was relieved to learn why it was I'd felt so emotionally imbalanced all my life, and to know I wasn't alone in what I thought was my weirdness. It has hard for me to remember there ever being a time I didn't feel this way, that I didn't belong or that happiness was for everybody else, but it eluded me.

What an incredible relief it was to finally begin to understand why I behaved the way I did, to appreciate, accept and eventually come to love the person I am.

The King of Cups embodies the mythic figure Orpheus the singer. He represents for me the kind of father that most of us envision as being ideal.. He is both priest and healer who seeks to form relationships with others and yet his relationship with himself is lacking in that he doesn't seem to know how to make himself happy. The King of Cups is the image of the Wounded Healer and he is far from perfect.

None of us grow up with an ideal father though it is often easy for us to put them on a pedestal and see them  as perfect, even in the face of abuse, neglect or abandonment in some way.

Forgiveness and acceptance of our fathers as they truly are, comes when we do this not for them, but for ourselves. Then we can begin to love them not in spite of who they are, but because of who they are.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Six of Wands - You've Got A Friend

 I couldn't have ever reached my successes or achieved my goals without the help of my friends. Regardless of what form this help comes, in big or little kindnesses from others it can be monumental, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant. This love, support and encouragement should never be underestimated or taken for granted because it can change our lives.

 It's certainly changed mine in too many ways to count, and I am so grateful for my friends and even for those who are not friends because they too have taught me so much about life and love.

Recently I had my 64th Birthday, and was given a surprise party, something that I've never had before in my life. I was completely overwhelmed by the kindness and generousity shown to me, and it will be one of the most memorable Birthdays ever.

 I can say that the kindness of others has changed my life, in that I'm so grateful, because it has deepened my humanity, it makes me want to be a better person and to continue to pay it all forward in whatever way possible.

There couldn't be a better card to draw today than the Six of Wands. Wands represent Creativity, Fire and growth all enveloped in self-confidence and progress.

In the Six of Wands, we see Jason who has finally achieved the goal of finding The Golden Fleece, but he could never have accomplished this difficult spiritual pursuit without the love, support, and encouragment from his friends that enabled him to fulfill his creative vision quest.

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Knight of Cups - The Hopeful Romantic

Some might see the Knight of Cups is a hopeless romantic, and perhaps this is a fair enough impression, but without the personality of this Knight the world would be a cold and baren place.

 I've a great affinity for this Knight, because he is a romantic and no doubt, because I am an artist and he appeals to my creativity. However I don't see him as being hopeless. I don't see any one as being hopeless. I prefer to call those of us like this Knight hopeful romantics. The Knight of Cups is also seen as being spiritual, considering his high ideals and quest for the ideal spiritual, divine love. He is a worshiper of women and loves his mother.

 Here we see the embodied mythic hero Perseus, the poetic and senstive son of Zeus, surrounded by a romantic landscape of forest, green hills, admist field and stream. Everything is lush and full of life, as he moves along, traversing on his way, mounted on his majestic and beautiful white horse. Perseus was favoured by goddesses, ever step of his life journey. The water-deities and the Graeae, the three old crones who knew the secrets of the future.

  This card implies the romantic dimension of love or perhaps an artistic proposition. Pereus loves beauty and truth and is the defender of high ideals.

I identify strongly with this Knight of Cups, particulary at this time of the year, during the new beginnings of June, when everything is at the hieght of new blossoming life.

Living in the country, in rural Nova Scotia is a conduit to much romanitc beauty, making it easy to feel like a hopeful romantic, who gratefully aspires daily, to loving and living life to the fullest in beauty, truth and high ideals.

I think Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was a fine example of a Knight of Cups.

Mine is the Month of Roses; yes and mine
The Month of Marriages! All pleasant sights
And scents, the fragrance of the blossoming vine,
The foliage of the valleys and the heights.

–Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807–82)

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Page of Swords - Blowin' Up a S_ _ _ Storm

Over the past few weeks and days, I've come up against a few situations that are somewhat problematic. When presented with the Page of Swords today I'm reminded, this Page represents the part of ourselves that can blow up a  real good s_ _ _ storm if we're not careful.

When problems arise, I have to pay close attention to my thoughts, and actions. If I dwell on my difficulties, regardless of what they are and whether they are in the past, present or future it's easy to breathe life into my worry and resentments.

It's also easy to project into the future and worry about the past and very quickly find myself miserable, half crazy or both. Nursed resentments are collected and carried around in my gunny sack and my burden becomes very heavy like I'm carrying a stone load.

So, today I choose not to do that and I embrace what is presented to me with the knowledge that this too shall pass, and I ask myself how important is it?

The Page of Swords indicates the ability to be a quick thinker, with a caveat. The message of this Page is to avoid gossip, petty quarrels, and quick judgement of others, whether it's coming from you or someone else. This message reminds me not to breathe life into problems because it doesn't nothing more than blow up a real bad s_ _ _ storm. 


Sunday, May 21, 2017

The Emperor - Holding His Emotion

I so down with aspects of The Emperor and what he represents. I know it's my own issues with authority figures and I'm often uncomfortable, weary and I often question authority.

The power of Zeus's personality gives me pause to think, as he grew up with a violent, sociopathic father Cronos, who killed his five children except for Zeus. Cronos had intended Zeus to be among his murdered children but his mother presented Cronos with a swaddled stone instead of a baby, which Cronos promptly swallowed. Zeus escaped his fate at the hands of his violent father thanks to his mother Rhea, who'd saved her son's life.

Zeus representing both the positive and negative aspects of the father, he typifies the archetypal man who holds his emotion in check, with the kind of personality that could become oppressive, tyrannical with ideologies that interfere with life and personal growth.

Zeus's dark side can express rigidity, self-righteousness, inflexibility, arrogance, anger, and vindictiveness when and if his authority is challenged. This negative and destructive part of Zeus's personality is the worst  face of authority, is an abuse of power and control, embodying so much of what is wrong with our world today.

Many of us can be dominated by an inner dialogue and a scenario that we can repeatedly replay and act out in our lives, where there exists a dominating inner father, which restricts and constrains our relationships and happiness, especially if we've had emotionally unavailable or absentee fathers for whatever reason. It's been my own personal experience that we have to find ways to heal from this legacy or we are bound to repeat it with the next generation, passing it on to our own children, and on to our children's children.

The positive characteristics of The Emperor encourage us to foster self-respect, self-discipline, the spiritual ideals and ethical principles we need, in order to meet life's challenges, learning to rely on our own
resources and or to learn how to reparent ourselves if necessary.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Queen of Wands - Are you Loyal to Your Own Heart?

I'm happy to draw the Queen of Wands (Penelope). She reminds me to remain and strive to be loyal to my own heart and creative imagination, vision and intuition. This is what brings me happiness, not people, places, and things.

The Queen of Wands represents and symbolizes qualities I aspire too, such as stability, optimism, inspiration, loyalty, faith in intuition, working hard, being strong willed, following my heart and trusting in the strength of my creative imagination to achieve my goals.

Wands are the suit of action and energy. This Queen urges us to live life with exuberance and vibrancy.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

The Empress - Beltane - Spring Celebrations

This morning as I went to draw my daily Tarot card from my Mythic Tarot deck, when I thought to myself, I wish I'd draw The Empress because she's been on my mind after spending lots of time getting ready for gardening and watching all the signs of Spring that I've been so looking forward to. Well the Empress it was! The exact card I drew from my deck, and was very happily surprized! It was a great affirmation.

Lately The Empress, the Earth Mother, the matriarchal goddess, ruler of all nature, the protector of all young creatures has been coming up in conversation and thought. In Greek myth she is embodied by the goddess (Demeter) who governed the cycle of nature and the life of all growing things.

 On Sunday, tomorrow, April 30th will be the eve of Beltane, that typically begins the evening before the last night of April. It is the very ancient Celtic celebration of fertility and Spring. Many cultures have celebrations surrounding Spring and fertility however I have a special personal affinity to Beltane because of my Celtic roots that run deep.

Beltane is a celebration of new life, fire, passion, rebirth and the fertility of Spring. It is the holiday of union between Goddess and God, between male and female energies. It's time to welcome the abundance of the fertile earth.

Am Beannachadh Bealltain (The Beltane Blessing)

Bless, O threefold true and bountiful,
Myself, my spouse, my children.
Bless everything within my dwelling and in my possession,
Bless the kine and crops, the flocks and corn,
From Samhain Eve to Beltane Eve,
With goodly progress and gentle blessing,
From sea to sea, and every river mouth,
From wave to wave, and base of waterfall.

Be the Maiden, Mother, and Crone,
Taking possession of all to me belonging.
Be the Horned God, the Wild Spirit of the Forest,
Protecting me in truth and honor.
Satisfy my soul and shield my loved ones,
Blessing every thing and every one,
All my land and my surroundings.
Great gods who create and bring life to all,
I ask for your blessings on this day of fire.

Wild Flowers - Catherine Meyers

Saturday, April 22, 2017

The Lovers - Wayfaring Stranger

This card I drew today I relate to as a Gemini., which is the astrological sign associated with this Major Arcana card, The Lovers. What is represented here is both earthly and divine love, and all the challenges that accompany the choices in love, and the development of the individual. We all are challenged by these choices in love, both earthly and divine.

Today it's become more difficult I believe, to make these choices because we can feel overwhelmed by so many serious pressing problems that we feel pressured by, in an ever complicated world. My thoughts today on Earth Day especially turn toward Earth and Heaven and how they are directly related.

 I ask myself, how do to make Earth more like Heaven? I know I absolutely have to maintain my hope for our world, just as the Creator points to a higher love, that gives us hope.

There's a Capella song recorded by the Smithsonian Folkways in the old English-language religious music in the classic traditional, Appalachian mountain song. I Am a Poor Pilgrim of Sorrow, which I first heard in the public library, when I was living in Toronto back in 1980.

 Way Faring Stranger is no doubt another interpretation of the same song. I find the lyrics hopeful and not so desperate as the first version of I am a Poor Pilgrim of Sorrow. Regardless, this song has stayed with me all throughout my life, because it reminds me to keep focused on a higher love, that offers hope when we are home, in the place where we no longer feel like we are wayfaring strangers.

Wayfaring Stranger - Traditional - Author Unknown

I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger
Traveling through this world of woe
Yet there's no sickness, toil nor danger
In that fair land to which I go
I'm going there to see my father
I'm going there no more to roam
I am just going o'er Jordan
I am just going o'er home

I know dark clouds will gather o'er me
I know my way is rough and steep
But golden fields lie just before me
Where the redeemed shall ever sleep
I'm going home to see my mother
She said she'd meet me when I come
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me
I know my way is rough and steep
Yet beauteous fields lie out before me
Where God's redeemed, their vigils keep
I'm going there to see my mother
She said she'd meet me when I come
I'm just a-going over Jordan
I'm just a-going over home
I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger
I'm just a-going over home