Showing posts with label Heartache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heartache. Show all posts

Monday, December 11, 2017

Three of Swords - Tarot Readings in Cyber Space




In every suit of threes initial completion is what is represented.  The Three of Swords represents heartache, separation and grief. It's a sorrowful card because of strife, conflict and a painful situation.

This week I spent an afternoon doing a face to face reading. These are always enjoyable and energy expending but energizing at the same time.

I always include the face to face readings with a hard copy emailed reading for my clients future reference, because for those not familiar with Tarot it's a lot of information to take in and it can be like hearing an incomprehensible foreign language to the questioner.

When composing online emailed readings they can be both time consuming, and very rewarding. Then add the combination of computers, WiFi and the Internet this can be very convenient and potentially frustrating. This was very much the case for me this week.

I had the pleasure of doing this sit down reading with my friend, intending to follow up with an email of the reading, other unforeseen and unexpected factors came into play.

After having been called away from home, on what I felt was a bit of a goose chase yesterday and delayed my task by several hours. When I finally returned I set about completing the reading and was ready to send it off into cyber space, when the WiFi, my prehistoric desk top computer and  slow-speed internet connection, all seemed to conspire against me by going on the fritz.

I then decided to use my little Kobo reader to forward the reading, as I can use the internet on this little gadget. Something happened when I hit send on my Kobo, and the reading was gone. Thing was, it wasn't sent, nor was it anywhere to be found in any of my folders. It was simply sucked into the black hole of cyber space.

I proceeded to go into a big heartsick fit. The anxiety and stress I was feeling over this loss felt very palpable, because I had spent a long time carefully interpreting this reading for my friend. Nothing I tried worked, in hopes to retrieve my email. I felt my reading and I where  forever parted, and there was nothing I could do get it back. Of course I wasn't thinking right and was reacting, not responding rationally.

My distress continued to escalate, until I finally managed to get a grip after getting very annoyed at my visceral reaction. At the same time I happened to hear an item on the radio about the British Columbia fires, and how so many had lost everything they owned. Wow I thought, that's real loss. I asked myself, what am I doing getting so bent out of shape over my reading being lost in cyber space?

My really inconsequential loss paled so poignantly to me in comparison, that I was embarrassed by my behaviour and the way I felt and resolved to continue to work on changing this kind of reactionary, very hyper-vigilant behaviour that rears it head now and again, when I let stress get the better of me.

The lesson in this card, is how eventually it's necessary to work out the consequences of our choices over time, and once we do this, we will be relieved and our hearts will be healed.

So calming down I went to bed and knew, I simply would redo the email and send it along, which I did yesterday night, and I was happy and grateful in doing so.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Three of Swords - Recovery



The Three of Swords is a card of pain and like all threes in the Tarot deck it signifies completion.The pain has come to the surface, and is a release of energy, so the path is clear to move forward toward recovery and celebration. There is separation and conflict, and indicates an inability to see, because of self-deception and fantasy.

Being sixty one feels great. The blinders are now off and my 'give a shit' has stopped working. The heart ache and pain of the past is behind me, though it still hurts from time to time. Regardless, I am now more comfortable, and confident in my skin, even though life can be problematic, it is a relief to know I can accept,  cope with it and thrive.

 I know I am healing along the continuum. I can care for myself and take responsibility for my own happiness. I now look to the future resolved with optimism. It is a good feeling, as opposed to my younger days, when I felt  insecure and emotionally unhealthy, and most of all, heartbroken.

Presently I am reading the Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock. It is helping me to understand myself and the reason's why I behave the way I do as a woman, and what lead to my heartache and pain. One particular statement I read really struck me, and made me think on a unconscious level from an early age I knew this to be true. This I am certain I have always loved dancing, it somehow connected me with the divine.

" Women access their spirituality through movement and body awareness, so a denial of the body inhibits the heroine's spiritual development. She ignores her intuition and dreams and pursues the safer activities of the mind. "