Every time this card comes up my heart gives a little flutter immediately followed by a reality check. So many of us are in love with love. We've bought into that romantic ideal that isn't reality based, but comes from the rhetoric and myth making.
Truth being, this card doesn't represent this kind of relationship, but represents and is in reference to companion-ability, respect, and love based on the hard work of being whole interdependent people, not co-dependent. This kind of interdependent relationship is rare.
The Lovers, a Major Arcana card embodies choice, earthly and divine love and reminds me of Psyche and Eros who have been through what is often referred to as being the Dark Night of the Soul and have come out the other side stronger and secure within themselves now having a relationship built on a solid foundation, because they have chosen to invite into their lives the God of their understanding and they share this in common with one another. We all have the choice to make. I have chosen solitude but not loneliness.
George Monbiot says our society is living in what he calls, " The age of loneliness. "
It is my experience that if I do not choose to maintain conscious contact with the God of my understanding, the result in my own isolation, loneliness, and unhappiness. If this is what I bring to other relationships I will continue to be lonely, which is some ways is worse in my opinion. We can be alone but not suffer unbearable damaging loneliness. Being involved in relationship with someone who either cannot or will not give you what you want or need is completely crazy making.