Death - Change and The River Styx

I always have a little chuckle when I draw this card because this depiction of the Death really does look like Darth Vader.

No, it's not Darth Vader, but Hades, lord of the underworld, brother to Zeus, and he was also called Pluto, which means 'riches', because his realm is full of hidden wealth.

Most people who aren't familiar with the Major Arcana card Death, are immediately fearful of this image in a reading, because it's taken literally, believing it's a foreboding prediction of a physical death. This is simply not the case. It's the card of transition and represents a coming to grips with what it entails, by accepting and opening ourselves to the door that's closing, and to another door that's opening.

Transition is often not so easy, depending on our capacity to accept and recognize, endings are necessary, and can also present an opportunity for deep personal growth and a new life, if we can find a way over time to let go of the old one.

One thing for certain about change, is that it's constantly in flux, and ever present in our lives, whether we like it or not. I don't think there is any one who is always comfortable knowing this fact, whether the change is positive or negative, as it's often difficult to accept.


We all have and develop our own comfort zones, that we might see as being threatened by change. Most of us, depending on what the change is we're presented with, will resist and deny, which often can make things more difficult, especially if we're not willing to go with the flow or we can't wear the world as a loose garment.

The stage of change brings sadness and mourning, represented by The River Styx and is as necessary as joy and celebration.

"We change our behaviour when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing."

      - Henry Cloud

 Apple River - Catherine Meyers

Eight of Cups - Letting Go of the Beavers

Change, escape and disappointment are all reflected in the Eight of Cups.

Psyche is obviously on her way down to the Underworld not knowing if she'll ever return, because she does know many that don't. It appears to be a hopeless and dark journey.

As with so many cards depicted in the Mythic Tarot and situations in life, initially feel and seem like a calamitous scenario with no apparent resolution, but there is always both positive and negative in every card..
Psyche accepts her situation in spite of the expecting the worse outcome. But because of her accepting attitude things do change for her regardless. The situation may not be ideal but the very best that can be expected, is to let go of the outcome. Not being able to let go of the outcome of our problems is like a beaver that continuously gnaws at a tree, and we're the tree. Eventually it falls one way or another or until it dies.

Today I was visited by Ducks Unlimited who maintain the wetland and take care of the dykes in the tidal marsh, that I look out on from my house.  This has recently meant removing the beavers and their habitat. It saddened me to know they had been trapping the beavers and today had come to destroy the beaver's habitat with a big excavator, in order to prevent the beavers from doing any more damage to my trees or building more dams blocking the water way and the ravine the drains into the marsh.
 

I see this recent development as being a kind of life metaphor, in that it reminds me, sometimes the only escape is to have a willingness to be sad and disappointed in order to make way for change.

Sometimes in life the only resolution might be understanding that there is no resolution, and that's acceptance. This can be the most positive lesson and I think really, is the secret to life.

Four of Pentacles - A Living Prayer

Here in the Four of Pentacles, we see Daedalus tightly gripping his golden pentacles. He doesn't want to relinquish them, and is being consumed with fear of financial insecurity, and the ongoing stability of his life as he knows it. Daedalus is afraid he's going to be replaced by his young apprenticing upstart nephew. Daedalus defines his self-value and confidence materialistically, and by his worldly position.

 One of the most significant lessons in my life was learning how to let go. Instead of chasing happiness or believing that it was somehow elusive to me, and was something for everyone else but me; stability and security didn't seem to exist within the confines of structured religion or in financial wealth or position. These were never my pursuits in life. I was on a spiritual quest, as far back as I can remember.

It took experiencing many years of instability and insecurity to finally discover what would make me feel stable and secure. I now know it was eventually found, after realizing my spiritual quest, and when I began to understand the Divine. This is what I had longed for and when life really started to make sense, and it's what would nurture my creativity and nourish my spirit.

 Living in a very rural area enables me to feel and understand on a deep spiritual level, a real sense of belonging, independence, mastery and generosity.

It was only when I learned how to let go, that stability and security became more often than not, my reality.
Today, learning to let go, is what I would define as being my living prayer.

Five of Pentacles - Letting Go

The Five of Pentacles always reminds me of Persephone descending the staircase to the underworld, certainly not a fun journey, but it's not all bad either.

Daedalus isn't going to the underworld. He's however in a very dark place in his mind and spirit, wrestling with forces somewhat beyond his control, and let his ego get in the way making some really bad decisions, that has lead him here.

Things may look dismal, and foreboding but the moon is lighting his path and all is not lost. It's in his power to change his attitude and to look inward for guidance to provide him with discernment, in order to make the right decision. Indecision and is also a decision, and often waiting is the best choice until the way becomes clear.

Pentacles indicates a financial loss that presents a very difficult situation, possibly causing us to have a loss of faith in ourselves. Letting go, forgiving ourselves, and preparing to start over is the best way to get our bearings again.

What is necessary is to take inventory of how we contributed and exacerbated the problem. Then we can re-orientate ourselves on an financial level and on an inner one.    

Seven of Swords - Not This Again?

Do you ever seem to keep drawing the same card repetitively, and wonder what the hell does this mean? You might feel like putting that card back, and taking another shot at drawing a more favourable card.

The Seven of Swords is that card for me today. Soon as I see it, I usually get this sinking feeling. Upon closer reflection, the reason a card continues to come up, is there is a lesson here, a message I need to pay attention  to. Whether it means caring for myself, having a positive attitude, or trying to keep my sense of humour, even when it might not feel comfortable or truthful, when I could just as easily say frig this, give up and break down into a big balling session because things are not working out the way I want them to.

None of us are perfect, and life is messy. It takes courage to face our own short comings, issues, problems, and imperfections. Especially if you feel like there's a dark cloud over your head, and you seem to be life's shit magnet.

Of course we all have a right to happiness, but we can never be happy all them time. An attitude adjustment is usually what's called for, and aligning an attitude of acceptance with the realization, we do whatever we have to do in life in order to get through the ups and downs.

Wearing rose coloured glasses might work temporarily, but that's not reality, it's denial. Lets face it, life ain't easy, but it doesn't have to be so hard if we can learn to have acceptance and develop the art of letting go.

If Orestes had accepted, let go, and took responsibility for his own happiness, his life's journey and path would have been easier.

Seven of Swords - Do I Take My Own Advice?

 The Seven of Swords can be seen by some as a dark card. I see it as being about applying the skills of diplomacy, tact, charm or even gile as a means to an end, to achieve the outcome we want or need. But what really interests me is in knowing how I apply these skills to myself?

 Sometimes we can be good a convincing others, or giving our expertise advice to someone else, but when it comes to ourselves, we're often not so motivated, even though we might very much want or need a desired outcome.

 Having a a big ongoing brouhaha with ourselves gets to be real tiresome, very frustrating, and we can easily just give up. Letting go, and turning it over can certainly help matters and for me prayer helps immeasurably, and even if I didn't, I'd have nothing to loose. Being a little stubborn helps too.

  If it's something you absolutely have to do, and there are existing outside mitigating circumstances that cause you to get your arse in gear, these can certainly get you moving, because if you don't, there will likely be a price to be paid. If the price paid is going to be worse than doing what you aren't motivated to do, in all likely hood we'll do it, because we don't want to loose face, be embarrassed, ashamed or simply disappointed in ourselves for nothing trying. Most times the price is too hard on the old ego.

We can't always find the ideal approach in order to get the job done, but whatever approach we take, and it does get the job done, you might find that you feel a whole lot better for this, and wonder why you didn't or couldn't seem to heed your own advice.

I've been busy over this past month getting some major, what I'd describe as big yucky jobs around the house done. As a matter of fact, I just finished one that had me contorted in just about every imaginable position. But as we say here in the Maritimes, I got 'er done! Wow, I'm sure glad that one's over. I'm getting better at taking my own advice!

Using The Magician's Tools When The Arse End Goes Out of 'er.

Well I couldn't have drawn a better card than the Magician today. I have spent the past three days without my internet or my phone due to unknowingly disconnecting a cable from my router and then I unknowingly connected it incorrectly. I finally figured this out with persistence, and the expertise of a good computer technician I called a few times from a good neighbour's phone..

 Being sick with a rotten cold and flu bug, along with some car problems, all added to my frustration. It takes patience to ride the wave of chaos and confusion, and it can do a number on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your overall health, if you let it. We all experience days like this and can feel like we have some dark raining cloud hanging over our head with a universe conspiring against us. We have to make a choice to turn our good days into bad somehow. There is always something good to be found in the bad days, and they can go from bad to good, which makes the good days even better, with the wisdom of patience and gratitude.

Letting go, taking care of yourself  and just riding the wave until calm seas prevail, is the only thing to do, if you have given everything else a try, and then, wait. If not, it's real easy to make things more complicated and difficult for ourselves, in trying to force a solution.

I have to say I have a love hate relationship with technology, and though I certainly wouldn't call myself a geek, nor a Luddite, but I think I'm somewhere in between. Maybe a Geuddite. I enjoy all the benefits of technology but have real negative feelings around how dependent I am upon it, when things go wonky or as they say in Newfoundland, the arse is gone out of 'er. The nature of being human is that we often take for granted what we have, until it's gone.

The Magician reminds me that I do have tools at my own disposal to take care of my mind, body, and soul if I only utilize them on a daily basis, and when I need them. If I do this my self-esteem and self-confidence and my gratitude is much more likely to remain intact.

Time for a hot cup of some honey, lemon, ginger and vinegar.

Four of Swords - The Antidote to Self-Doubt - The Authentic Turn-On

Tomorrow I have an ultra sound. I've been stressing about it, along with the impending Winter, which of course is such a useless waste of my energy. I get frustrated and impatient with myself when I worry, and start spinning my wheels.
So after some reflective reading I've come to a more peaceful place in my mind, and am feeling better in knowing I can trust myself to be strong and overcome my self-doubt.

Something I received this morning was these wise words of Regena Thomashauer ( Mama Gena ). I don't know where she finds this wisdom, but I am grateful she does because her words, are timely and much appreciated. The email was about the antidote to self-doubt, and this morning I drew the Four of Swords, that indicates the following. characteristic behaviours.

• Inner reflection
• Balance
• Clarity of thought
• Wholeness
• Contemplation
• Letting go
• Introspection
• Inner vision

Here is what Regena Thomashauer means by having an authentic turn-on, and it is the antidote to self-doubt.

"But the experience of authentic turn-on goes much, much deeper:

• You feel a sense of your own aliveness and your life force
• You know that your spirit and your body are one
• Your native enthusiasm is intact
• Your ability to reach for pleasure is on—especially when it seems hard
• You’re in your right mind and your highest power
• You’re you—full, complete and whole

Once planted in her authentic turn-on, a woman begins to grow. Kind of like the way you just trust a tree to grow.

A turned on woman learns she can deeply trust herself. She pays attention to her desires, and treats them as her road map.

Indecision vaporizes.
 
She can truly feel her deep yes and her deep no.
She relaxes into the unknown, rather than forcing or muscling her way through life.
She knows she can handle obstacles, and understands that each one forces her to expand in new ways.
She experiences the divine in everything, especially herself.

Within you, within me and within each woman is the source of our own power. 
 
She is our antidote to shame, and the wellspring of our deepest intuition.
She is our divinity, our spiritual center, the timeless point of our attraction, and our power source.
She teaches us that our joy is serious business.
She is anchored to our truth.
She teaches us our unshakable confidence."



The divinity and our spiritual center Regena Thomashauer speaks of, is The Empress, the Great Earth Mother.

Five of Cups - "When Bad Things Happen To Good People"

Psyche is beside herself, full of sadness. She is desperate and consumed with fear, after breaking her promise to her husband. All the cups have tipped over spilling onto the floor, but there is one cup left standing and there is the light of the moon that guides the way and points to a better way.

Full of regret and remorse over her past actions, reality has now come crashing in, but she is left with something to work toward, if she chooses to take up the challenge now presented. She can decide to make the commitment to a brighter future.

Many years ago, I asked a wise woman the question that is similarly posed in Harold Kushner's book When Bad Things Happen To Good People; why it seems to go, that so many really good people have more than there share of tragedy, and others don't seem have much difficulty in life at all, and behaving very badly. In retrospect,  I don't think life is pain free for anyone, even though from a distance it may appear that certain folks live a charmed, and lucky life


My wise friend, who had been through so much in her life, shared with me, that when people struggle with burdensome problems, and when tragic events happen, it can make them compassionate souls, who have a depth of character, that might be lacking in those who have not experienced difficult events or loss. I think this can be true. I would add that with these events comes knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. Otherwise there is a naivety and perhaps a lack of compassion, understanding and knowledge. It is hard to relate to another if you haven't had a similar experience.

When I am going through some kind of painful circumstance what comforts me is knowing I am not alone, even though it may feel this way, there is always another in the world who has gone through a similar thing, or worse, and if they can share what has happened to them with someone else who is suffering in some way, and shares how they coped, it really helps a lot.

In the end we all have to decide what we need and want to do, in order to cope with these problematic experiences and situations. We decide whether to embrace, resist or run away. Ultimately we can't escape reality without doing some kind of damage to ourselves and or hurting others, especially those we love.

It is tempting to say to ourselves "if only". This results in staying stuck in regret, perhaps remorse, and self-pity. We will never find contentment, happiness or move forward if we choose to stay in the problem. We are only guaranteed to repeat the same mistakes again.  At some point we just have to let go, and take a leap of faith, and have courage.

Four of Swords - Making Time To 'Chillax'

The Four of Swords was a welcome card this morning, signifying a time for rest, relaxation and some serious chillaxin'. I am more than ready for that, to take a mental break of sorts from myself and my thoughts. It is a great feeling to be back painting again, because I never feel right when I can't seem to get to it, and at it. I don't feel myself and I am off kilter. Now that I've got my groove back, I really can relax and channel my creative energy.

 As adults, we often get bogged down with trying to navigate life, we can get too busy being a grown-up and forget to play and just have fun. Making art should be fun. Or for that matter any work that we do should be at least enjoyable, if not always fun.

Taking time to relax allows for reflection and recuperation to build up strength in reserve in preparation for future efforts and to put order into our lives. But Instead of taking time, I really need to make the time, and make it a priority in order to gain some serenity after the storm.

The Four of Swords coincides with the New Super Moon in Aquarius, which started yesterday. It is a time of having new energy, beginnings and fresh starts, a time of rebirth and growth. Clear intentions, being honest with myself, releasing my ego, and letting go of self-sabotage is a good foundation for the life I want.

Five of Swords - Walking Away From Nonsense

As 2015 approaches, I have been moving closer toward making my life nonsense free. I am not going to take it from others, nor from myself. What I am talking about, is the negative kind of nonsense, not the ' lets run around, have an afternoon of make funny faces, and do impersonations, fun ' kind of nonsense.

The people in my life that dish out negative nonsense are rare, because I can't have people like this in my life. When they do appear, often as strangers, or acquaintances, it takes me by surprise. I am usually not prepared. It can really throw me off base, because in the past, I accepted this behaviour. I was a passive bystander, not an assertive participator in my relationships, unable to assert my own rights.

The Five of Swords indicates the shadow side of love, and walking away from conflict. I had to address this shadow side on two occasions this week, and I walked away, not without standing up for myself. This is what I have to do when others exhibit this kind of behaviour, otherwise I feel like I condone it, give the message that it's acceptable,  and these folks will no doubt continue fobbing this nonsense onto another. Passive aggression, bullying or abuse is a continuum, if it is not addressed.

 In my 12 step program, we are told to make amends with those we have wronged, as soon as you have wronged them. I have made this an essential part of the way I live my life. Some folks will never apologize for wrongs done, and so I have to accept that, and let it go. It is however easier to forgive another when they apologize, and then change their behaviour. Apologies, and changed behaviour can salvage relationships, and even strengthen the bonds between individuals. It is however, next to impossible to sustain a relationship with another who continues with negative behaviour, when an apology is non-existent. It can break hearts.

Letting go has meant saying goodbye to friendships, or deciding I can no longer continue on with some relationships be they recent, or long term, because I have accepted my own limitations, and boundaries.

That's all I have to say about this. I leave you with this quote...

The Spirit of Solstice - Sun Stands Still - Hope Is Renewed

The Eight of Cups very much corresponds with my thoughts today about letting go. Psyche, as she descends into the underworld, all hope seems lost, and even abandoned. There is nothing more left, for her to do, but to let go of the past, and of the future. Letting go for me is about turning things over to the God of my understanding. Letting go is rather like releasing a balloon. Once we let it go, it begins to float, you don't grab hold of the long string attached, and take it back again, when you let it go, it is gone.

 As I was saying to a friend today, it is easy to let go, when things are all going accordingly. I compare it to loving those who are easy to love. There is no virtue in that, those who are miserably unkind, and cruel do this. Loving the unlovable, or embracing difficulties, and burdens is how I learn those important life lessons.

On the shortest day of the year, The Winter Solstice's literal meaning of the word, is "Sun stands still". Today is the perfect time to reflect on the past year, and look to the renewed hope for the coming year and the future.

 The shortest day of the year gives way to the celebration of rebirth, and longer days to come, as the sun will shine brighter through to the Summer Solstice on June 21st, the longest day of the year. This day has special meaning to me because it was the day I married my soul mate. Though Bill left this mortal coil over 34 years ago, I still miss him deeply, especially at Christmas. He was the kindest soul I've ever known, and as the sun stands still today,  I will carry him close, in the small of my heart, as I always do.

King of Cups - Surrender, Don't Give Up!

The King of Cups is a card I think many of us can relate to, especially creative types. We often use creativity as a way to express our deepest, and sometimes most painful feelings. I know I certainly relate to the wounded healer as the King of Cups, as this card is often referred to as being. This individual helps others with great compassion and empathy, and sensitivity, but can't seen to help or heal himself.

He lacks trust in the unfolding of life, and can not surrender himself to the world of the unconscious. I found myself this way many years back, when I was much younger, working in the human service field with adults and youth. I became moody, and rather unpredictable in my behaviour.

The King of Cups is described as being the greatest musician and poet alive.  He is also a spiritual man, but he is at discord with his emotional life which is held in check. The King of Cups thinks that he must keep his own emotion arms length, when it comes to processing his own feelings in a healthy way, and his difficulty letting things go,though he longs to be in touch with the feeling world, to express his deep emotion, he lives rather vicariously through others, by helping them. But we cannot solve nor should we try to work out our own issues by projecting them on to, or through others, and often we can be unaware we are even doing this.

The King of Cups has real difficulty opening himself up to intimate relationships, for fear of getting hurt. He keeps himself busy with people, places, and things, as a diversion from his feelings.

I read something today that embodies a description of what it means to surrender. 
Surrender is not about giving up... it's about letting go.


I know if I do not acknowledge and surrender to my feelings, especially around sadness, I  carry around an ongoing underlying depression, that I know takes a tole on my health, if not directly, indirectly.

Christmas time is particularly difficult for many, and if we can find a way to openly talk about this, to unburden ourselves, with someone we trust, we can feel better by naming our feelings, and letting them go. Embracing and acknowledging feelings makes it easier to let them go.

Death - How Death Can Save Your Life

I drew the Death card this morning, and I was glad, because in spite of it's dark foreboding appearance, and looking like Darth Vader, it is an affirming card, that reminds me to be willing to accept change as being a huge part of life, a card representing acceptance of change, transition or transformation, so that rebirth can occur. The little folk beneath, seem welcoming, one even offers a flower, and they are not running away.

Change is not a walk in the park, as there are always varying degrees of trepidation, and some real anxiety when things happen, as we can feel everything is out of control. With acceptance, making the decision to let go, realizing I am not in control, along with the choices I make, this is what can alter my life for the better.

My whole attitude, and outlook changed twenty years ago, after I chose to live a sober life, and I have been in transition ever since. Letting go of the old self, is a kind of death, because of this willingness to change, letting go of the old life, and embracing my new life, that was what saved me from a dead end road. You don't have to be physically dead, to not be fully alive.

There is much to be learned through this card, and through actual physical death, which contemporary society keeps at arms length. Death has much to teach us about life and it can even save our lives.

King of Cups - Where The Nightingales Sing The Sweetest

Early this morning I had a very vivid, lucid dream, that stayed with me. It caused me to have confused feelings of happiness and sadness. I asked a question of the cards, and then drew the King of Cups, which corresponded with my happy/sad dream.

The sad story of the singer Orpheus who was lonely and unhappy, is embodied in the King of Cups. Orpheus was both priest and healer but was unable to heal his broken heart, and was the wounded healer.  He met with a gruesome revengeful death, at the hands of the jealous Dionysus and was buried by the Muses at the foot of Mount Olympus. There, the nightingales were said to sing more sweetly than anywhere else on earth.

Many of us relate to this wounded healer we can heal others, but can not seem to help ourselves. When the King of Cups is manifested in our own relationships, we find ourselves losing the very thing which we most desire, because we lack the trust in our personal lives, and matters, in the realm of the heart, become rather like a self fulfilling prophecy.

The King of Cups ultimately does not trust the world of the unconscious, which he is unable to see. He is reluctant to submerge himself into the water of emotions, as he fears he will drown if he lets go, and gives his heart to another.

When we ask a question of the cards, we may not like the answer. It is better to know, than to have false hopes or illusion, and it is a good thing to accept the reality we might be dealing with, so we can be better prepared. It is not always easy to accept that our dreams and reality are not always the same thing.

Eight of Cups - Hope

When the Eight of Cups is drawn, I immediately feel a sense of trouble and  evoking feelings of despair and disappointment. But immediately after, I have thoughts of hope.

In fact it is a card of some resignation, and I think of the saying, no one's getting out of here alive! The Eight of Cups is a card of letting go. So many cards in the Tarot are about just that, letting go, which is a good thing, because much of life, if not all of it, is about letting go of the people, places and things we cannot control. It sure isn't an easy lesson to learn, because life has an ongoing succession of things we are having to let go of; loved one's, our youth, beauty, homes, children, life and the list goes on and on.
  Life is transitory, always changing and we are either moving ahead or backwards we never stay the same. I say it's all about our attitude toward our personal struggles and obstacles.

In the Eight of Cups we see Psyche who has a final task that Aphrodite has requested of her. Psyche leaves the eight golden cups behind,  and voluntarily gives up hope for the future, and descends the staircase to the underworld, knowing she will not return from this desolate and desperate place.

 If and when we find ourselves in this kind of circumstance, we can choose to try to manipulate the future, trying to "make a deal", bargaining our way through , we plead,  we may even bully, in a desperate attempt to hold on and change the situation and the " will of the divine, " or we can choose to let go and choose hope.

We can't not control life, but we can control is ourselves. Once we let go within ourselves, we will find hope.

Six of Swords - Cut Me Some Slack!

Some times, short of pulling your hair out, and wanting to shout out loud, at the top of your lungs, because you have almost reached the saturation point, you want to yell, for God's sake somebody out there, cut me some slack! Don't worry it's coming! So says the Six of Swords!
Rest assured we have now come to the point where we have obtained some level of acceptance, and peace and the stormy seas have quelled.

Not the happiest of the Minor Arcana cards, and you may find yourself left with feelings of melancholy, but you have peace of mind, after coming to terms with your own limitations. You have left your anxieties behind and distressed. The affirmation is, you have some peace and serenity within, regardless of what has happened, you have let it go.

A time out or a vacation is in order; not to escape from reality, but to get in touch with the flow in the river of life.

You can now begin to perceive how the rhythm, cycle and pattern of your life works, and how you can change your life and yourself.

Letting go can be kind of like flying a kite. We let go, but then we pull it back, and want to take control again. This isn't letting go. You've got to let go of the string!

http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/21-imaginative-illustrations

Death - A Time For Endings

 
 As I make my way through my daily study, through the 22 Major Arcana cards, today the Death card was what came to mind; the card that signifies a time for endings, and is the 13th card in the Major Arcana.

The Death card I don't often see in readings, but when it comes up in a spread, many folks are fearful of seeing this card. It is by no means an indication of physical Death, but a card of transition and transformation. We need to accept and let go of what was, in order to embrace and allow for our soul's future growth and change. In a way, I think of it a kind of shape shifting card were we can transform ourselves in some way if we can let go of past issues that are holding us back. We die to the old and are re-birthed into anew kind of being, in better circumstance.

A major change is needed and due! The destruction of the old is a blessing in disguise, though we are saddened and are mourning,  it signifies the end of a cycle, or a way of life, where we relinquish an old dream, an attitude, or a way of being in the world and this is replaced with a new beginning. How we handle this experience depends on our capacity for acceptance and recognition for the necessity of endings.

Death is always our invisible companion throughout our lives, and all part of the life-death-life-cycle.
If you are faced with an ending, this is a good time for a reading to receive insight into the darkness, and to help you prepare for the new beginning that awaits you.