As 2015 approaches, I have been moving closer toward making my life nonsense free. I am not going to take it from others, nor from myself. What I am talking about, is the negative kind of nonsense, not the ' lets run around, have an afternoon of make funny faces, and do impersonations, fun ' kind of nonsense.
The people in my life that dish out negative nonsense are rare, because I can't have people like this in my life. When they do appear, often as strangers, or acquaintances, it takes me by surprise. I am usually not prepared. It can really throw me off base, because in the past, I accepted this behaviour. I was a passive bystander, not an assertive participator in my relationships, unable to assert my own rights.
The Five of Swords indicates the shadow side of love, and walking away from conflict. I had to address this shadow side on two occasions this week, and I walked away, not without standing up for myself. This is what I have to do when others exhibit this kind of behaviour, otherwise I feel like I condone it, give the message that it's acceptable, and these folks will no doubt continue fobbing this nonsense onto another. Passive aggression, bullying or abuse is a continuum, if it is not addressed.
In my 12 step program, we are told to make amends with those we have wronged, as soon as you have wronged them. I have made this an essential part of the way I live my life. Some folks will never apologize for wrongs done, and so I have to accept that, and let it go. It is however easier to forgive another when they apologize, and then change their behaviour. Apologies, and changed behaviour can salvage relationships, and even strengthen the bonds between individuals. It is however, next to impossible to sustain a relationship with another who continues with negative behaviour, when an apology is non-existent. It can break hearts.
Letting go has meant saying goodbye to friendships, or deciding I can no longer continue on with some relationships be they recent, or long term, because I have accepted my own limitations, and boundaries.
That's all I have to say about this. I leave you with this quote...