I was once told I was like a ball of emotion. This isn't true. I am simply no longer afraid of my emotion, but I wasn't always this way. Today I am very grateful to be able express my emotion, because there was a time when I completely shut down my feelings for many years, and learned to do this at the age of five, due to my family circumstances.
I also learned how unhealthy it is to suppress emotion as it eventually leads to repression, resulting in an inability to know you even have these feelings. It is if a steel door has been slammed shut where nothing gets out and nothing gets in.
Alcoholism is described as being a disease of the emotion. Being sober 20 years, I can attest to this.
The reason I love the Queen of Cups, is that she reminds me emotion is a good thing, balanced with reason. And like the Queen of Cups who relies on her intuition before her intellect. I believe this is a good way to live life. At some point we have to let go of reason, and make a leap of faith. We need to have faith in ourselves, in others, and a faith in the God of our understanding.
I can't say feeling emotion is painless, because that would be far from the truth, unless I am crying tears of joy. More often than not, we experience emotion from painful things, like the death of a loved one. No one wants to feel pain. Our immediate response, and I will only speak for myself is fight or flight. In the past, I would want to take, what I thought, was the easier soft way, and run away. Thank goodness now, I strive to have courage in the face of fear. Having courage does not mean I am not afraid.
What if I don't believe in God, and what if I find it hard to have faith you ask? I remember it being said, that if you don't believe or have faith then borrow someone else' faith. That made a lot of sense to me, because others can give you if not a complete faith of your own, well it can at least give you courage to go on. Those who have been through worse things than ourselves, can inspire us to believe that if they can make it through, perhaps we can too.
People who have been through hard times in life, are often more compassionate, and can cry with those who weep. Like the Queen of Cups, they drink deeply from the cup of life, and are emotionally generous. They can impart this to others, so we in turn can pass it on, and give it away to others.
It is in giving that we receive.
This emotional generousity is compassion, and can make our world a better, kinder place, that will bring tears of joy, and the tears that heal.
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