There is No Puppet Master!

I took the notion to pull cards for myself this week and do a personal reading based on the question I had for 2018. With this new moon in Pisces coming up on March 17th 2018 and Spring right round the corner it's the perfect time to do my own reading, which I liken to a personal inventory for me. It gives me a chance to take stock of my life and what direction I'm going in. I ask myself what I want and need to change or to improve upon.

Many folks choose not to do their own readings as they might feel or think that it's difficult to remain objective. I don't find this to be the case. That said I'm not frequently doing full 10 card Celtic Cross readings for myself, as this does not enable discernment, but simply creates confusion, instead of real clarity and understanding of myself and my present situation.

Drawing a daily card, I do for study reasons. This daily discipline and practice gives me the opportunity to continue to develop my relationship with each card and I can meditate on it's meaning and how it relates to my daily life. No one should have readings done constantly, as each the reading covers a period of three to six months.

Some folks can become dependent on Tarot in an unhealthy way as a result of feeling we lack control over our lives. This isn't true, we do have control over many parts of our lives. Certainly there are also many things in life that we can't control but we do have control over our behaviour and the choices we make. But the fact is there's no weird puppet master pulling our strings.

This week's reading is an affirmation and a confirmation of the last reading I did for myself in October 2017,  and I was happy and very satisfied with the outcome and what the cards in the Celtic Cross indicated today. I'm sure looking forward to the months to come. However it's very important for me to remember, to really enjoy living my life to the fullest and mindfully in the present moment and to look hopefully to the future.

Nine of Cups - I Wish...I Hope

Today after spending a restless night, I intentionally sought out some kind of message of comfort, from whatever card I drew this morning, because I've been feeling so sad. It's been a difficult couple of months emotionally with the loss of a long time friend and another dear friend, now in palliative care.

Considering this card, the Nine of Cups it is the best one I could draw, as it's the wish card, representing fruition, comfort and satisfaction.

The truth is, we can make wishes all we want but it doesn't change reality regardless of what is happening in our lives and in the lives of those we love so much. So I don't spend my time wishing. Of course I wish things were different, but they're not and there's nothing else I can do but find a place of acceptance, and forgiveness and instead of wishes, I hope and pray for acceptance of situations that I struggle very much with, because they're so unacceptable. I know I have to let go and trust that the God of my understanding will do what I can't do myself, in order to find the way.

Eight of Pentacles - Deal or No Deal?

Eight of Pentacles - Deal or No Deal?

The Eight of Pentacles can be seen as an ongoing theme of accepting change in our daily lives, whatever hand we are dealt, urging us to let go and remain hopeful.

We see Persephone headed down the stairs to the underworld in pursuit of Aphrodite's beauty cream! She's very aware of the likelihood, that she'll not be returning. She's let go and resigned herself to this and accepted this reality, but all is far from lost.

When it comes to loosing hope, there's really no deal. In desperation we might be thinking we can some how guarantee a future reconciliation, but this isn't relinquishing control. Coming to the realization that we can't bully, plead,  or make with deal with the divine or some how blackmail our way into a solution, is a useless exercise.

When we're at this point on our lives , now's the time to take advantage of the opportunity to educate ourselves, and learn the lessons to be found in letting go. We may feel that we've lost everything, but there is much to be gained.

The truth of the situation must be faced. There's nothing else left to do, and there's no way to go, except to let go. This letting go often is accompanied with depression, sadness and morning. If we can proactively engage in the same kind of positive change and transformation we find in the Death card, we'll find a tangible and real hope that we can apply to our lives in a real way.

Letting go will change us by submitting to that which is greater, the will of the divine, the great Goddess of Love which is imaged in the Eight of Pentacles.

Two of Cups - Overcoming Fear

 Duality, balance, and attraction are the implied indications in the Two of Cups.

I find it curious to note, Eros is sneaking up on Psyche. He seemingly is attempting to take her by surprise but after Eros accidentally pricks himself with the arrow he intended to kill Psyche with, the unexpected result is, Eros falls in love with Psyche and their tumultuous relationship begins.

 As in life we're often surprised and fear the way events unfold. Something we initially might think as being a negative or a positive experience can often lead to a positive or negative outcome, because we've found another door that's opened to us when one has closed, one that we'd never imagined.

It doesn't mean that this all will unfold in an easy manner, and it might be the case that the very opposite will be our reality. We may feel we've gone from the frying pan to the fire and have been completely kicked to the curb, but regardless, the end result will eventually be transformed into something better than what was before or maybe not. We do however have to find a way through.

 On the other hand the unfairness of life, as in nature, many times, makes absolutely no sense, leaving us fearful, confused, dumbfounded and despairing. We are left with the unanswered question, why is this happening?

 I've concluded if I have little to no ability or strength to accept life and death on the their terms,no mine, whatever is presented to me, this is when and what becomes problematic. Acceptance, not denial is always the key that opens a door of hope and freedom enabling me to overcome my fear.

Six of Pentacles - The Generousity of Hope

 The Six of Pentacles is a harmonious card. embodying King Minos, generously offering Daedalus his six golden coins, that reflects the renewal of faith, and faith in life and one's capacities.

Growth, generousity, giving and charity are all represented in the Six of Pentacles. This card has great personal significance to me. My late husband taught me so much about the meaning of generousity. I could attribute his Metis heritage to his generous heart as generousity is considered one of the core values of Indigenous cultures, but we all have the choice to live our lives with a generous heart, that will truly bring happiness.

In the Western world we have lost our way. Capitalism is the default and though we live in a democracy these two perspectives are sorely at odds with one another, where greed over rides any basic democratic values, such as human rights, and freedom.

It's a well know reality that it's difficult to give what you don't have already for yourself. However if we're feeling so overwhelmed by problems there is nothing that will help us grow more then helping someone else.

Generousity gives us hope. Without generousity, this opens the door to cynicism and hopelessness.

Eight of Cups - The Darkest Hour

When I drew this card this morning, I thought, not the Eight of Cups again? I just drew this card of change, disappointment and escapism, three days ago.Why? Then I thought, there's a message here, so I'll dig in to finding out what it is.

Like so many others right now, especially those committed to human rights, I'm preoccupied with the reality of the situation in the US and what it all means to the future of our world. It can be daunting to think about it, but hope will always bring unity overcoming fear and divisiveness.

I'm by nature an optimist and hopeful, but I'm a realist. There is nothing that can drive you mad more that worrying about the past and projecting in the future. So I try hard to refrain from doing either and live in the present, with the decision to change whatever I can.

I heard a song today by Arcade Fire and Mavis Staples which emboldened me with hope in spite of not knowing what the future holds, like Psyche who had fearful feelings of dread and hopelessness. We can not turn back, but we have to walk forward in the power of faith, because we are not alone, and we cannot walk alone.

This may feel like the darkest hour to many, but I do believe in my heart, and soul that the darkest hour is always before dawn.

The Moon - The Feminine Principle

One of the most archaic figures in Greek mythology is Hecate the moon-goddess. She presides over childbirth, magic, death, the underworld, fate and the depth of the unconscious imagination. She has been called The Invincible Queen.

The High Priestess, the Wheel of Fortune and The Moon, all three Major Arcana cards are directly linked.

Hecate embodies the feminine principle of life itself and the three lunar phases reflect her power over heaven, earth and the underworld. It's a card that represents confusion, fluctuation and uncertainty, a trans-personal journey, where a sense of direction and ego are lost and individual boundaries are dissolved.

This scenario describes where I am at right now. at this stage in life as a crone. I'm being tossed along the ocean waves of the unconscious, in what feels like a rather precarious boat. I'm not privy to knowing anything other than I must trust my intuition, to have faith and hope that I'll come safely to shore.

I'm not worried about the destination and have decided to enjoy the journey, come what may.

Geshtinanna

Five of Wands - The Beast

A card about struggle, the Five of Wands reminds us that we can overcome the struggle that exists, but we don't have to, nor do we need to, struggle alone. Everyone needs some kind of help at some point in our lives and it's important we ask for help but there's nothing easy about asking. It's a humbling experience.

Letting false pride get in the way, only results in our egos becoming the beast, and the struggle with depression  and confusion that Leonard Cohen speaks about plagues and overpowers us. It's the dragon we need to fight against and we're not likely to win that battle if we have a lack of trust in our intuition and instinct, causing us further depression and apathy. At this point we loose our way in confusion, we loose sight of our vision and courage.

The Five of Wands is a hopeful, empowering card if we heed the message it conveys.

The Sun and Leonard Cohen

Synchronicity lifts my spirits today drawing the Major Arcana card, The Sun and listening to Leonard Cohen's Travelin' Light, from his new release You Want It Darker. I've followed Leonard from his early beginnings and I think this is the quintessential epic work ever, reflecting the kind of insight that is much like what is called "Apollo Longsight", seeing the purpose and reason for his life experiences through hope, faith and with far reaching vision.


 Apollo is a lord of prophecy, music and knowledge, the son of Zeus and Leto, the goddess of Night. Apollo is the image of the power of consciousness to dispel darkness and fear. He is the image of hope and faith.

The radiant sun-god is embodied in this mythic image of Apollo, with his classic, handsome looks, his golden wings, and cradling his lyre.

Music being the expression of the sun-god, it transforms darkness into light and meaning. The laurel wreath that crowns Apollo's head, symbolizes his artistic and athletic achievements, although Leonard aches in the places he used to play, because alas he is not the sun-god  but I sure do idolize him.

 Clarity, optimism and renewed trust, all enable our understanding of the pattern of life and arms us with  foresight, purpose, hope and faith in the striving human spirit,'travelin' light' toward the goal.

The Fool - The Hopeful Free Spirit

I rarely draw the Fool card, but it is a Major Arcana that represents hope, and the free spirit within and one of my favourites. A person can never have too much hope and having a free spirit may frighten those who rather play it safe and can't embrace that side of themselves. But life means risk if we want to grow in faith, trust and in hope.

And so it's always a much welcomed card and to see today, this first day of October. As I write, I can hear the duck hunters. I can't say I hope they get some ducks. But I do wish them safety, as I do the ducks.

When I think about hunting I reflect on my grandfather, who was an expert marksman. He was never really so interested in hunting. He he did get the odd duck I know, but had no passion for in big game hunting. I remember a family photo of him sitting on the back of a moose that had been sick and he'd nursed him back to health. Granddad simply loved living with nature,  he loved animals, the country life and was a creative, gentle, sensitive and kind soul.

As a teenager I loved nothing more than wearing his old canvas jacket with a rap around inside pocket at the bottom of the coat, for gathering up ducks. It always made me feel close to him when I wore that coat. Summer days spending time with him out in his garden is a special memory. He didn't talk much because he was hard of hearing and wouldn't wear a hearing aid. But it didn't matter so much because I always knew he loved me and wanted to spend time with me whether it be in the garden or just spending hours playing checkers.

My grandfather Roy Winslow Milner's heart and mind were open and faithful. His love of music and reading was also very evident, as he was always reading and played a number of instruments. I know his life was difficult, living through the Depression and working all of his life in the Foundry where he was a molder, working in such an awful very unhealthy place, in order to earn a living to support his family.

In spite of my grandfather's hardships, he was a man that instilled hope in me as his granddaughter, because I inherited his love of music, reading and nature. Like the Fool, embodied in the mythic figure of Dionysus, my grandfather in spite of what happened to him in life, his right brained, intuitive, and creative nature allowed him to connect to his hopeful and free spirit. I'm blessed so grateful to have known him as my kind and loving grandfather.

Roy Winslow Milner

Grandfather and my mother, Sarah Helen Milner

Knight of Swords - "Shit Happens"

Change can be scary. I'm not sure it can be anything else. But it doesn't have to be overwhelming.
When change comes it can feel like our life is in total chaos, and it probably is, but I can't plan for how I am going to deal with it all, because life happens in unpredictable sometimes messy ways, but I can do things to prepare myself. One thing that is predictable is that change happens. As my old friend Charlie once said to me, at a time in my life of deep sorrow, "shit happens". He was right, that never changes".

The Knight of Swords is all about how we adapt and accept turbulent change. This card represents motion, and mercurial energy, based on the element of air, signifying a duplicity in the realm of the mind, and our ability to move with changes, that lead to a broader vision of life.

If we aren't open to change in life, we get stuck. We base our decisions on opinions that are reactionary and often hasty, because we are fearful of change and want to maintain some semblance of control.We just want to escape the mess.

The three mainstays in life that continue to enable me to accept disruptive and fluctuating change, are prayer, persistence and simple trust.

I have come to understand that tribulation gives me the opportunity to increase my patience, with patience comes experience, and with experience comes hope.

The Knight of Swords represents Gemini the identical Warrior twins and mythic figures of the quarrelsome Dioscuri, Polydeuces and Castor. Being a Gemini myself I understand this card all too well. I am grateful to have taken the road less traveled that has given me a broader vision of life.

Death- Transformative Experiences

I rarely get this card in my daily draw, although lately it's been making an appearance and it always gets my attention. In spite of infrequently drawing this card it makes sense to me today as it speaks of transformation, a kind of out with the old, and in with the new pretext, which is exactly where I am presently  in my life. It's both exciting and daunting simultaneously, that directly involves my creative goals and objectives.

Transforming experiences are brought about via internal or external forces, but ultimately it is our responsibility to decide what to do in response to the circumstances in which we find ourselves. I always try hard to work with what I've got, and my out look is to take an optimistic, hopeful and trusting stance, regardless of the situation, be it positive or negative.

 The power of our mind can never be underestimated in it's ability to transform the quality of our lives.

Skeleton Woman - Egg Tempera on Wood - Catherine Meyers

The Star - Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down

The quote that I often hear repeated "Don't let the bastards grind you down" is a good way to describe this Major Arcana card, The Star. Here we see hope and inspiration embodied in the image of Pandora who in myth opened the chest which Zeus maliciously gave to mankind and now Pandora has released all the Spites.

This card embodies the experience of hope, meaning and faith giving this promise in the midst of difficulties.

 I thought the above quote was attributed to Viktor Frankl, who survived the Nazi concentration camp and wrote Man's Search For Meaning. I think he would have certainly identified with this outlook when he said " “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

These quotes I believe describe what it means to let go.

Saint Francis of Assisi described letting go well.

"Wear the world as a loose garment, which touches us in a few places and there lightly” – St. Francis of Assisi

This is what I have found I've had to do throughout so many times throughout my life and it has become my own personal philosophy and perspective towards life in general. I've learned to wear the world as a loose garment and I've had to change myself and my attitude toward the situations I couldn't change.

 It sounds simple enough, but it isn't. It's an attitude and skill I've had to practice and continue to make it a life long habit. For me it's about learning to detach with love. Before recovery I was attached to just about everything; my hyper-vigilance and waiting for the other shoe to drop, attached to the past and the future, and attached to my misery and all that it entailed.

I'm so very grateful  every day, that I was introduced to the philosophy of letting go and that star of Hope.

Page of Swords - Are The Storms of Life Washing You Away?

The Page of Wands is blowing up a storm. This card urges us to have courage, and honesty, appealing to our higher self, in the midst of turmoil, serious trouble, or what might even seem to be the end of all things we know and love. Much like the refugees fleeing for their lives from their war torn countries.

I used to have apocalyptic dreams a few years ago about Tsunamis. I don't know why I had these dreams and can only conjecture about their meaning.

Being an optimist by nature, who can be prone to an underlining depression, which I attribute to the affects of alcoholism within my immediate family. Sometimes it's just life that can get me down, trying to make sense of why bad things happen to good people all over the world.

Lately I've been really noticing and thinking about all of the catastrophic weather that has devastated many parts of the world. Everything from recent tornadoes in Texas, to floods in the British Isles, in the States right now, and yesterday there was a mild but nonetheless, ever threatening earthquake in the west coast of Canada, where there is a fault line that exists, running all the way up from the California coast.

Last night I found myself watching you-tube and a documentary about the massive tornado that happened in Joplin, Missouri  in 2011, which was a catastrophic EF5 multiple-vortex tornado that struck late in the afternoon of Sunday, May 22, 2011. This event in the US was the biggest tornado in history since 1947.

What I was very touched by, was how the residents of Joplin immediately helped one another, how ever they could, in the immediate aftermath of this catastrophe.

Today I was also reminded of the resilience within the human spirit, when I heard again, the re-broadcast of the interview with Wendel Price  who talked about the response to Hurricane Katerina in New Orleans, which was so inspiring, in knowing that, when we feel and think all hope is lost, it's not.

We all have storms in life, whether it be of a personal nature or that of the physical kind. How we respond to these after affects can either leave us broken and defeated, or strengthened and victorious. We can help others and get our focus on recovery, by being proactive, positive, and above all, inspiring hope.

The trials and storms of life can help us to respond in a way that honours the Spirit, or a Power greater than ourselves.

 

Nine of Cups - A Desire In My Heart

As my favourite song writer Bruce Cockburn said in his song about good and bad days, "Some days I walk on diamonds, some days I walk stones. "
It made me feel good today to draw this Wish Card, the Nine of Cups, after spending a few days of anxiety and frustration. It's a good reminder to stay calm, and stop projecting or what I call awfulizing, which is such a waste of energy, and makes things worse.

Being grateful, even when if I feel a dryness or poverty in spirit, and simply having a desire in my heart, or a wish to pray, is a prayer.The desire in your heart is what matters, regardless of what you, or someone else are going through. For me praying is hope actualized

It's easy to get myopic, not seeing the forest for the trees, and getting all caught up in our own problems. We all need to help each other in whatever ways we can.When I can pray for others whether I realize it or not, I can often receive more that what I could ever give. I believe prayer is a very powerful too, no matter how you do it, no matter how you define it. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself or for others is pray, and sometimes it's all you can do.

The Star - Waiting On The Promise of the Dawn

There are so many cards that I want to say are my favourites, and I feel a special connection with, but I realize it's rather like trying to decide your favourite child, and well that would be impossible and not fair at all. The Star is a beautiful card with the promise of hope and joy regardless of what has happened or going on around us. John Lennon's song Imagine comes to my mind. "You might call me a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

  Here Pandora has opened the chest, and unleashed all the pestilence upon the earth. She looks upward to the heavens with her eyes focused firmly on the light.

She may appear idealistic, and even rather Pollyanna like, but she is full of faith, hope, optimism and courage, to face what ever lies ahead, no matter how fearful she might be. She trusts her intuition, instinct, and imagination to find the truth regardless of the consequences, or how unrealistic she appears to others. Pandora is waiting on the promise of the dawn, however there is a warning against blind hope.

I read something yesterday that really made me think. It gave me strength when I really needed it, because I was feeling down and overwhelmed with needless anxiety. I had made a mountain out of a mole hill which wasn't based on reality. This quote gave me strength to do what I need to do and I immediately felt so much better. I felt free.

Ten of Swords - Released and Redeemed

 Visually this card is not a pleasant one to look at, and always gives me a visceral reaction in my gut. Upon further reflection, I am always reminded things may look bleak here, because Orestes is seemingly lifeless and left for dead after being painfully defeated by the three menacing Furies. However this card has a strong message of hope.

This scenario represents the conclusion of a very difficult, and painful time. The fact is, this is the beginning of a new future that lies ahead, now that the truth has been faced. Athene has disarmed the Furies. She has clarity of vision, and impartial judgment. She symbolizes the mind's integration of dark and light, being the goddess of Justice, representing our human capacity to have reflective judgement and rational thought.

This imagery makes me think of the biblical principle about the sins of the fathers being visited upon the children. In other words these inner conflicts are passed down from generation to generation because grandparents and parents cannot honestly face these problems and their children inevitably suffer until insight can be gained. The good news is that once the crisis is over, life can change, and the sun can then rise again.

Athene represents having an impartial reflection, where those involved are not judged. There is always the hopeful possibility of being released and redeemed from our past mistakes and conflicts.

The Moon - The Beauty of Imperfection

I always think of the Moon as being beautifully perfect. I suppose because it speaks so strongly to that part of myself that has my Moon in Pisces in my astrological chart which creates a polarity of opposites and contradictions. This is the way I see life. It is a contradiction of polar opposites and fortunately or unfortunately we can't have one without the other, it's just the way it is.

There are so many other reasons that the Moon is such a significant card, representing the sea of the unconscious, being the card of Hecate, that is sometimes interchangeable with the moon-goddess Artemis. Hecate is underworld moon goddess. The confusion, fluctuation and uncertainty of Hecate, is certainly more about imperfection, and the only thing I can do, is to hold on to faith and hope, in the transformation that comes through personal development and growth, which is reflected in the inevitable changing faces of life.

Hecate is vague and elusive, which can cause great anxiety and bewilderment. Along with faith and hope I also need the wisdom of patience in life, which allows for the a gestation period, before I can grasp a clarity and knowledge on the 'royal road' of dreams which is the only road to Hecate's world, where I learn about the beauty of imperfection.

On this road, I learn how to honour the imperfect, to be who I am, and to accept life on life's terms. That is beauty, as sometimes described in the Japanese aesthetic of Wabi Sabi, as being "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete." There is spirituality to be found in imperfection.

The Magician - Conjures Creative Ideas

Ruled by Mercury who the messenger of the gods The Magician conjures up ideas and is the inner guide pointing to our creative capacities within our, mind, imagination, body, and heart

Having an imagination and being able to express creative ideas in tangible ways is the ultimate form of communication in my opinion, a language in and of itself. Here, lying at Hermes feet are all the tools necessary to do this, and are at The Magician's disposal, and at ours as well.

We see the Cup of Fortune, as Hermes is wise in matters of the heart. The cutting edge of the sword represents the clarity and power of the mind. Pentacles signify a stroke of good luck, and relates to all things involving business matters. Finally, the wand of magic with two snakes entwined that symbolize all things opposite: male and female, dark and light.

The Magician is a card full of hope signifying that the Fool's journey is clearly possible, and there are capacities that are yet to be developed.

Ten of Swords - The Star of Bethlehem

I've been so busy since mid May and all through June. I've been feeling overwhelmed which gets me down. I've had little time to keep up with my blogs or for that matter, even getting the lawn mowed. So it is lovely to have three days to myself, be able get caught up some, and look forward , having more free time to come again soon.

When we reach  low points in life we need to reach within and find an inner strength to rise above. This is the message of the Ten of Swords. It looks like a dark card but we can turn things around, if we choose to do so. We can choose to lift our attention away from the problems we are so focused on, and onto the enormous things beyond which inspire, give us hope, strength to continue, and persevere. The sun is rising, amidst the darkness of the night.

The alignment of Venus and Jupiter on June 30th 2015 in combination with the full moon tomorrow makes for an interesting force of energy that I think inspires and renews the spirit.  Some scientists have conjectured that this alignment is what accounted for the The Star of Bethlehem. It occurs rarely, and this event will not be reviled again until 2023.

Venus and Aphrodite representing the goddess of love, and Jupiter the god Zeus, the inner father, embodies a sense of raw power, a force of nature, where hope, creativity and beauty are symbolized.

This celestial heavenly event in the skies is truly a thing of awesome beauty, and hasn't been seen since the time of Christ. That's a long time! One can't help but think that this rare occurrence is significant some how, and in someway. Perhaps like the Ten of Swords it represents the ending of a difficult situation to make room for a hopeful future to begin. It is up to us how that future will unfold and it is vital that we continue to be hopeful, and backing up our hope with action.