Eight of Swords - Bondage Through Fear - Freedom Through Change

Ever find yourself in a scenario where you feel like you're suddenly in a kind of paralyzing emotional pickle? For instance someone seems hell bent on arguing and are looking for you to give them a reason to fight or attack you, or to take you emotionally hostage. When this situation presents itself, I go into a slow motion mode, because I'm kind of in shock and I never feel ready for this kind of thing, as I don't expect it and it can take me off guard. Your left feeling isolated, and trapped. But it happens to everyone more often than we realize, we aren't alone and it's possible for change. There's a way out, in spite of these feelings of being in bondage.

 I can certainly feel the temptation to defensively blat something out in retaliation, but will undoubtedly later regret. On the other hand, I need to keep my dignity in tact. I do want to respond, but in a way that defuses the situation in a positive way, to stand up for myself, calmly and clearly speaking my own truth, without infringing on an individual's right to express themselves. We all have a right to our own opinion, but I do believe this can't be at the expense of the individual we're interacting with. This is more about resentment and vengeance.

I'm certain everyone encounters these typical life situations, creating stress and fear. So I have to stop, step back, ask myself how and what is going to be my approach? This is usually my default now after many years of practicing and refining the habit, and now I feel I've finally come closer to getting it right these days. I've also learned to trust my heart, my intuition, to let go and to not force a solution.

This habit allows me to make an accurate assessment of a situation, in order to figure out what's really going on behind the scenes, or beneath the surface. I have to consider who it is, what are the antecedents that are exacerbating the circumstances. I need to take all of these into consideration before I can decide how best to respond and not simply react, before I can move forward.

Perhaps at times the best response is no response, until the dust settles, because there can be unknown factors beyond our control or beyond another person's control, such a mental health of physical health issues.

Understand I'm processing events that happened in my own life recently, and I'm still kind of working through them, and it always helps to write, because it enables me to make sense of what took place, in order to get some clarity and a clearer perspective.

Today I choose to remain hopeful and positive in my attitude. I also have to ask myself these questions. Can I change this situation? Can I accept those things I can't change? And most importantly, I ask the God of my understanding to help me to know the difference between the two. It's what's commonly known as practicing The Serenity Prayer. The Four Directions Prayer also helps me to find discernment and direction. I've found that these prayers are both preventative and practical to keep the chaos at bay, or to find that serenity in the very eye of the storm.

Drawing the Eight of Swords this morning was no coincidence, and it's just what I needed to reflect upon today. In this card we see that Orestes is frozen in the moment, he's being tormented by the Furies and fear has paralyzed him, preventing him from doing anything to resolve his dilemma. But, he needs to make a decision, even though it may appear that either choice will lead to trouble.

It's so important to come to the realization that we all have to face honestly our own part in the problem and we don't have to, nor is there any need to resign ourselves to the bondage of fear. Once we figure out and understand what it is that we want, act once and for all, then we will find the possible solution and be free from the bondage of fear.

Geshtinanna

Eight of Cups - The Darkest Hour

When I drew this card this morning, I thought, not the Eight of Cups again? I just drew this card of change, disappointment and escapism, three days ago.Why? Then I thought, there's a message here, so I'll dig in to finding out what it is.

Like so many others right now, especially those committed to human rights, I'm preoccupied with the reality of the situation in the US and what it all means to the future of our world. It can be daunting to think about it, but hope will always bring unity overcoming fear and divisiveness.

I'm by nature an optimist and hopeful, but I'm a realist. There is nothing that can drive you mad more that worrying about the past and projecting in the future. So I try hard to refrain from doing either and live in the present, with the decision to change whatever I can.

I heard a song today by Arcade Fire and Mavis Staples which emboldened me with hope in spite of not knowing what the future holds, like Psyche who had fearful feelings of dread and hopelessness. We can not turn back, but we have to walk forward in the power of faith, because we are not alone, and we cannot walk alone.

This may feel like the darkest hour to many, but I do believe in my heart, and soul that the darkest hour is always before dawn.

Two of Pentacles - Serenity

The Two of Pentacles represents being in balance with our physical world, which I think is an ongoing challenge, no matter how hard we try to hold our extremes in check, it's simply an ongoing situation for human beings.


We had our first real snow fall last night. I woke up to warm temperatures and fluffy newly fallen snow. It's beautiful.

Winter In Apple River

 As I've said before, I'm not a lover of Winter, but I think I'm slowly changing my mind. I'm still haven't completely warmed up to it, but I'm learning to appreciate it, to have a more balanced perspective in seeing Winter's beauty.

 I'm grateful to see the snow today because of the natural beauty, but the critters and the whole natural Eco-system generally will definitely fair much better with snow cover.

Nature is very sensitive, and delicately balanced, that we too often forget, until things get out of balance. Every little incidental thing we do to harm or hinder mother nature's natural balance, contributes to changing our environment. At the same time we can do our part no matter how big or small to preserve, protect and improve our environment if we are mindful in doing so.

I think of  my sweet puss cat Shoshe. She's extremely sensitive, and if I speak to her in anyway that she doesn't recognize, she gets upset. I'm not talking about shouting or anything like that, just making any strange verbalization, or if I make a funny little noise that she's not use to, then she won't approach me, until she regains her serenity. It's kind of funny, but see I have to refrain from doing that because she's so sensitive and it puts our relationship off balance.

 We all have to adapt to whatever our circumstances, but it's also important to know what we can do to maintain our balance in the mist of the duality of life.

For me, the Serenity Prayer helps to remind me, as does my little Shoshe cat, that easy does it, will help me find serenity.

Shoshe's Serenity

The Emperor - Is The World Unraveling?

The Emperor is the counter part to the Empress, though concerned with the inner world as opposed to the outer world. The Empress is the All-Mother, the Emperor is symbolic of the All-Father, creator of all the gods, a spiritual figure who concerns himself with high ideals, ethics and spiritual values.  He does have his dark side. Tyrannical authority can rear it's ugly head, where there is an abuse of power.

When I reflect on the very positive characteristics of the Emperor, he is a kind of the ideal of what men should be in this world. Unfortunately this is seldom the case, but there are some men that I can think of who set the bar high, and are men of integrity, great kindness, with a deep faith and belief in what is true and good. They stand for right, are defined by the courage of their deep spiritual convictions, to love their fellow human beings, and they set an example for others.

The world as we know it, can really seem like it is unraveling. I sure felt this way over the past few days watching the news, and it has not been the first time, nor the last time I am sure, I will feel the same way in the future.

 I could easily ask myself, where is God in all of this? What kind of a God allows for such tragic events to happen, and why is there such inhumanity toward humanity, and all living things?

It is difficult to make sense of it all, or to find some kind of resolution. My own personal experience is that sometimes the only resolution there is, is to accept that there is no resolution. I know this may sound hopeless and rather dissolute, and I might agree in some instances. It isn't the way I choose to think, in spite of what is going on around me in the world, because there is hope and that means a lot. Having hope is where acceptance enters our lives in knowing what we can and cannot change, and having the wisdom to know the difference, that is stated in the Serenity Prayer.

I am certainly not a Pollyanna, although I do love her. Rather pessimism, desolation and discouragement it is simply not a luxury I can afford, being a person in recovery from a disease of the emotions, alcoholism.

Today I recognize the things that upset me, and so I try hard to live by the law of spiritual progress, not perfection. I don't allow myself to be discouraged. I expect better things ahead, and try to be a part of the cure toward the world's ills, rather than be part of contributing to this malaise, and to be a force for good, much like a good mother and good father should be.

The Emperor - Egg Tempera on Porcelain Tile 12"x12" 2015, Catherine Meyers

Two of Pentacles - Change and Fluctuation

In the Two of Pentacles we see Daedalus at his work table with all the tools of his trade. He is busy and committed to developing his skills and reputation.

Pentacles concern our physical selves and all things connected to the earth, property, work, finance and practical matters. Most people are usually juggling all these things at once, and trying to keep all their ducks in a row. It is essential to keep grounded if we have a creative drive for material gains. In order to do this we have to take risks, and put whatever resources we have, to work if we want to makes changes necessary for growth.

 I think there is only one thing that does not change in life, that's change and fluctuation. You always hear, change is a good thing. I believe generally, change is good for us, though it certainly may not feel this way. We have to find ways and means to prepare ourselves for change and learn to go with the flow.

The path of least resistance I am not a fan of, and sometimes it is a good thing to resist change. When I think of change, the first thing that comes to mind is the Serenity Prayer. This for me has been, and continues to be the most important prayer I can make. It's all about acceptance, courage and wisdom in knowing what I can and cannot change. It is however essential to have the flexibility to be open to new ideas, and to be willing to take risks in utilizing one's talents. This is not always easy, but the most important thing for me really, is to say this prayer everyday, because this is what helps to prepare me for change and fluctuation.

Like Daedalus most people are usually juggling many things at once, trying to keep all their ducks in row. It is essential to keep grounded if we have a creative drive for material gain. The old adage of " Money makes money " I believe to be true. If we don't have the financial resources to do this, we still have to take risk, be adaptable and to put whatever resources we have to work, but with discerning wisdom to know what we can and cannot do or change.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr