Knight of Swords - "Shit Happens"

Change can be scary. I'm not sure it can be anything else. But it doesn't have to be overwhelming.
When change comes it can feel like our life is in total chaos, and it probably is, but I can't plan for how I am going to deal with it all, because life happens in unpredictable sometimes messy ways, but I can do things to prepare myself. One thing that is predictable is that change happens. As my old friend Charlie once said to me, at a time in my life of deep sorrow, "shit happens". He was right, that never changes".

The Knight of Swords is all about how we adapt and accept turbulent change. This card represents motion, and mercurial energy, based on the element of air, signifying a duplicity in the realm of the mind, and our ability to move with changes, that lead to a broader vision of life.

If we aren't open to change in life, we get stuck. We base our decisions on opinions that are reactionary and often hasty, because we are fearful of change and want to maintain some semblance of control.We just want to escape the mess.

The three mainstays in life that continue to enable me to accept disruptive and fluctuating change, are prayer, persistence and simple trust.

I have come to understand that tribulation gives me the opportunity to increase my patience, with patience comes experience, and with experience comes hope.

The Knight of Swords represents Gemini the identical Warrior twins and mythic figures of the quarrelsome Dioscuri, Polydeuces and Castor. Being a Gemini myself I understand this card all too well. I am grateful to have taken the road less traveled that has given me a broader vision of life.

Three of Cups - What Do You Celebrate?

The Three of Cups augers celebration, accomplishment, joy, love, and the happiness within the soul. The union of Psyche (Soul) and Eros (Love or Desire) is being toasted, by the three water nymphs.

It is a welcome card on this, the first day of the New Year, 2016. For me personally I always look forward to the New Year, new beginnings, new life, and light. It represents a chance to start over. Tomorrow, January 2nd, marks my 22 A.A. recovering anniversary and so it's always an extra celebration, although now, it's all very quiet, and on the down low, much like my New Year's Eve.

My first year A.A. anniversary was the very best in retrospect, because my father and mother were still living, and they came to the open anniversary meeting to celebrate with my very supportive and loving home group. At that time I didn't realize how very special it would become to me as the years past. I feel very grateful to have been so blessed., because many don't have the love and support of family.

Life and love are both full of dreams and expectations when we are young, and are often not so realistic. As we get older our dreams and expectations change, and are more reflected and rooted in reality. I've learned that curiosity is the stuff of what dreams are made of, and though we may be more realistic in our perspective, we can always remain curious which enables our creativity, our dreams and reality, that no longer need to be based on unrealistic expectations. Today I celebrate that, now that my experience has rendered me older, and wiser.

What do you celebrate?

Time to break out the disco!

Strength - What Makes You Strong?

Many moons ago, I used to do a lot of strength training for many years. I felt great to feel the physical strength that comes with resistance training. It's something I could definitely benefit from again, now that I've reached that crone age. I have to go for a bone density test next month, so it will be interesting to see the results of that test.

The kind of strength that comes with strength training can indirectly affect you inner strength of course, but the strength that results from trust, persistence, perseverance, and experience is equally effective to increase your strength of character.

Living on my own for most of my life has mostly proven to be a challenge in many ways, and though I am an independent woman, I would never think, nor could I ever say, that I did it all on my own, because I have that kind of strength. No, definitely not, far from it.

There is a kind of strength in numbers for sure. If we help one another, and really understand that sometimes we all need to ask for help, and that it's equally as important to simply offer your help to others, without them having to ask, and help one another to be strong in our weakness.

Lately I've been getting some very unexpected help, and today was such a day, and I want to say how very grateful I am. Truthfully, I know I have my own strengths, but honestly my strength relies on the help that comes from the grace and mercy of the God of my understanding, and from the generous heart and spirit of others. Without them all, I'd have been be dead in the water, a long time ago.

If I can give back in any way I do, because I know I can't keep what I have, unless I give it away, and that's what makes me strong.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” - Ian Maclaren

Six of Cups - Experience, Strength and Hope

Most of us have heard our parents, grandparents or others nostalgically share stories about the past, and what it was like back in the day. We can learn a lot from these stories. Now I find myself at the an age where I reminisce, am nostalgic about the past, and I like to share my own stories. This is human nature of course to go back in time, in our mind.

Having and making memories is a beautiful thing, especially when these are shared with others. They bond us, and are the glue that can cement our relationships, reflecting our identity back to us. Of course there are always positive memories, along with the negative. Regardless of what kind of memories, if I can accept and embrace them, I can process them and turn my memories into a learning experience, becoming a stronger individual. I can then help another by sharing my own experience, strength and hope.

It isn't good for our psyche regretting or stuck in a time warp with you 80s hair, or wishing our lives away for the old days. We can't be fixating and starring  at the past, however we can't close the door on it either, pretending it never happened.

Here in the Six of Cups Psyche finds herself emotionally abandoned, mysteriously by her husband Eros. Despite her loss, she has learned something about herself, and has come to terms with what has taken place. She no longer has regrets or remorse about her unrealistic expectations, unreal dreams, and  her great disappointments concerning her lost love Eros.

Psyche has come to this place of serenity within herself. Now she can move forward, building upon future goals. Her past has been tempered, and strengthened, into an emerging promise, that is achievable. The past leads to a future dream that is still possible.

Five of Swords - Acceptance

I have hairy toes! I've never admitted this publically, but I've come to accept it, and no, I am not a hobbit. But even if I was a hobbit, I'd have to accept this too.

We all have to accept our limitations of what we can and cannot do. This is what the Five of Swords represents.
It can be difficult to understand or empathize with another person's struggle in life, unless we have had a similar experience, or unless we have walked their path, or seen the world through their eyes.

 Many of us experience rejection for one reason or another. It may be for the way we look, how much money we make, our race or religion, who we are related to, or what side of the tracks we grew up on.
The worst form of rejection I would say, is not being able to accept ourselves, the positive and the negative aspects of our personality and circumstance.

I have come to believe that acceptance is the key happiness. It enables us to understand, and to come to terms with people, places and things. When we can accept, and love ourselves, we become real like the Velveteen Rabbit.


 “Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Seven of Pentacles - Difficult Decisions

 
Set backs in life happen, that never changes, but what does hopefully is our attitude. Once we are recovering from them, we are now getting to the point, are being rewarded, and are feeling fulfilled for our efforts. It would be easy to become complacent, to simply enjoy our success and recognition. But now, we have difficult decisions to make about our future, as like Daedalus, we are offered a proposition, which can manifest our creative energy, and it may be better than our present situation.We might want to make the safe choice, however this can lead to a stagnation, limiting, or hobbling our creative growth.

Having a mid-life crisis happens to all of as at some point, and it can place us in the crossroads. When we arrive at this point, and we do want to make a decision, but it seems like we are damned if we do, or damned if we don't. We are bound to disappointment, infuriate, or hurt someone, what ever we decide. And so, we must decide who we are going to piss off. We certainly can't please everyone ,  as Ricky Nelson said in his song, " You can't please everybody, so' you've got to please yourself ", and accept, if not be comfortable with our decision, live with the consequences, whether they be positive or negative, and will more than likely will be tinged with both, more or less.
But don't get caught up in the drama, allowing yourself to be a victim, and a casualty, on the front lines of someone else's war. You will not be thanked, and you will be wounded.

I have experienced several of these mid-life crisis, or had to make serious decisions relating to my happiness, and peace of mind. I do not regret the decisions I have made. I am very grateful for them. Oh yes, if I had to do things over, I would have chosen to act on certain things differently, but I can't, and don't regret the past. What I can do is be decisive, act on opportunity, and do the right thing. It's not always easy, but I do not want to allow myself to be hampered by fear, and guilt. I do not want to be a guilty bystander, watching life go by from the sidelines.

 I know I will be confronted again with difficult decisions. But now, with age and experience, has come knowledge, understanding and wisdom. These are the tools I have at my disposal, to use when these crisis arise again, and I know they will, but I feel more prepared, than when I didn't know better, to do better. I try to apply these skills on a daily basis as a kind of insurance, or bank account, to build up resources in strength, so I can get through the life's crisis, big and small, whenever they land on my doorstep.

Be patient with yourself, with others, and with life. You have tools at your disposal. Use care and forethought. Don't wear yourself out with worry and regret. Save your strength there is more work ahead,  Life may be tiresome, and hard but it is still very beautiful.