Nine of Swords - The Stream of Goodness

We find in the Nine of Swords Orestes, who is trying hard not to listen or pay attention to the menacing and tormenting Furies, with the dark and gloomy clouds approaching in the horizon. He's trying to fight against the kind of free floating fear and anxiety we all experience from time to time, often a result of worrying about the past and projecting into the future. Both are useless to engage in, can only produce an unsatisfying and unhappy present and future, instead of the quiet satisfaction, peace, serenity and gratitude, that accompanies living a rational life.


 I spend much of time trying to fill my thoughts with what's been referred to as living in the 'stream of goodness.'
 Being an imperfect human being, with worry and anxiety like every one else, I do well to guard against all the things that come with self- pity, dishonesty and self-centeredness and eliminate them as soon as they enter my mind, so I can  find peace with my Creator, my neighbour and myself.

 I have to put the God of my understanding in charge of my thinking, in order to eliminate needless worry and the anxiety it causes me and go with the flow of the stream of goodness.


 I love this song by the very talented Canadian singer song writer Sarah Slean, I happened to hear the other day. Unfortunately the youtube version isn't available, but did find the lyrics which express my feelings about the 'stream of goodness'.

Holy Ground

God is looking in the mirror
into the fathomless depths of your eyes
whose tears are the only holy water
by which you will kneel and be baptized
there ain’t nobody sicker than the seeker
who hardens himself against love
perhaps that’s what I see in him
and I want to heal in him
because I see it in myself
song of sacred places raining down
everywhere you wander is holy ground
the streets, the streets are brimming
and the beggar is walking with the king
they’re groping in the dark for it
but never in the heart for it
where the only kingdom is
and the kingdom is…
song of sacred places raining down
everywhere you wander is holy ground

King of Cups - Emotional Balance Versus Desperation

The King of Cups, a perfect card for me to draw this morning, as it's caused me to reflect on emotional balance and the way I behave. In the past, I've been a person who'd panic when it came to certain situations. Don't get me wrong, this can still be my default, and I really hate that feeling.

Physiologically everything I feel can seem like it's speeding up and about to implode. My heart races, blood pressure goes up, breathing becomes shallow, I can't think straight and simultaneously, everything is in a kind of painful slow motion.

 I think my mind's try's to slow down in order to think, but the monkey brain seems to be more powerful. The fight or flight instinct takes over. I still can find myself reacting this way, but with experience comes wisdom and new skills in order to handle seemingly crisis situations with less muddled thought and more clarity and peace of mind.

As a SCUBA diver I know and understand panic is what kills people. Similarly, the same can be said for most, if not all crisis scenarios. For instance getting a call from an intimidating, rude and threatening bill collector might not cause your imminent death, but there are those who suffer from addictions like gambling, that can cause suicidal thoughts or worse because they can't meet their obligations and responsibilities,and might actually act on these thoughts, which is a tragic. They've reached that jumping off point, where they can't live with the addiction, nor live without it. This is the worst kind of desperation.

The King of Cups embodies the kind of individual who is an em-path, who easily demonstrates compassion toward others and is a kind of healer, but doesn't seem to have the ability to help or heal himself. We all have to learn how to help ourselves in order to do this. Most of the time we need to put our false pride aside and reach out for help. Many who are in the helping professions match this kind of personality type, an empathetic counsellor who is the Wounded Healer, with a kind of hole in the soul.

 When we call upon the authority of the King of Cup's, we can calm the turbulent waters of our emotions that carry us away, which leads us to feel like we're out of control, as we're reacting negatively to our panic.

Life experience enable me to reach out for help, to learn how to be proactive in my daily life. After many years, I finally found preventative tools that center me, slow me down, and bring serenity to the core of my being.
Doing a daily reading or meditation, getting enough sleep, exercise, eating well, and generally living a healthy lifestyle all help to draw on that authority of the King of Cups, which can calm the volatile waters of emotion. In turn I can trust life enough to take it's course, and not cheat myself.

Ten of Wands - What's The Next Big Thing?

Geez, it almost pains me to look at this card. It's not as negative or overwhelming as it appears, and isn't what it seems, but it is a situation for concern.

Jason has his Golden Fleece, and his great vessel, the Argo, is worse for wear after the long and intrepid voyage. Now his fellow Argonauts seem nowhere to be found. Perhaps they're burnt out, and gone back to their ordinary lives, having grown wearisome of Jason, and his next big adventure. Jason appears to be almost imprisoned, and overwhelmed by his own creative thought, surrounded by the ten blazing wands. The Golden Fleece appears to be discarded on the ground and all but forgotten.

At the beginning of the quest, Jason's expectations were extremely high. He was full of excitement, expectation. with a thrilling and contagious sense of great adventure. He'd been buoyed up by his mates, who believed in him, and that he'd be victorious. He was THE MAN!

The triumphant victory of obtaining the Golden Fleece and overcoming everything else along the way has left Jason feeling that it is all rather anti-climatic  He is no doubt thinking to himself, ok what now? What's the next big thing? It that all there is?
This kind of thinking is a self-inflicted pressure we can impose upon ourselves when we achieve our goals,  have found ourselves the center of attention, with people singing our praises. Being in this state of hyper-vigilance, and an adrenaline rush, is addictive. We find we are always looking for the next bigger and better thing.This state of hyper-vigilance can be very exhausting, for yourself, and for others.

There might be feeling of boredom, when in actual fact, you might find that boredom is the opportunity to simply live life on life's terms. Finding a deep contentment and serenity that extends it's hand to us, if we can accept it, is what I believe to be, one of the best secrets to happiness.

Temperance - The Blessing of a Balanced Heart

The Temperance card has a special and very personal meaning to me, and I will tell you why. This is the card of having the blessing of balanced heart with love, forgiveness, harmony and having cooperative relationships with all especially with ourselves.

I spent my early years as a little girl with my family, living in a real diverse neighbourhood of East End Toronto, until I was nine years old.
Later on when I was 27, I returned in 1979, to study Mime, the basis of theatre.

I found a place to live, The Women's Christian Temperance Union on Gerard and Young, close to the school I was attending. Our "school" was made up of nine students. We had our classes everyday in one of the oldest Presbyterian churches in Toronto in the basement. 
Ironically as it might be, during this time I didn't understand temperance nor sobriety. I drank, smoked, did drugs and wasn't a  good " Christian ", although I wanted to be, but didn't really have a clue how to really live a sober, spiritual life.

Before I knew it, I was to meet my future husband Bill, just around the corner at Toronto at the Young Street Mission, one evening after praying to God to bring me a Christian man to love. Bill and I met in December '79, he was clean, and sober. This caused me to refrain from drinking. I didn't want to drink. We began dating in January 1980, married in June 21st, after moving back to Nova Scotia that Summer. By September he was dead at 26, of complications from brittle diabetes, and drug induced paranoid schizophrenia he developed at the age of 16. Upon his death I hit the bottle hard, and it took me fifteen years by the Grace of God to finally learn how to live a spiritual life, and got myself clean and sober, when I admitted to myself, I was powerless over alcohol, and that my life had become unmanageable. I got myself to the rooms of the A.A.12 Step fellowship in 1994 and have never looked back.

In 2005 I returned to Toronto. This time round, it was for the International  A.A. Convention, where there were 75,000 recovering alcoholics. who we gathered in the city of Toronto for incredible meetings and fellowship.

While I was wandering around the main area of the convention centre, I struck up a conversation with an older gentleman, an A.A. long timer passing out flyers for a special meeting about the A.A. archives which wasn't listed in the booklet that had all of the meetings taking place and where. This was going to be special meeting. I made up my mind to go.

 It wasn't until I arrived at the meeting I realized exactly where I was. I was back at the very same Saint Andrew's Presbyterian Church where I had attended classes, studying Mime. The meeting was  profoundly meaningful to me, listening to the history of A.A., some of these long time members knew Bill W, the co-founder of A.A. During this once in a life time opportunity during the Convention I experienced a deep healing, resolution, and a sense of closure. I felt I'd come full circle.

Previously arriving in Toronto for the Convention, I'd miraculously re-connected on line with Bill's best friend, and best man who I had lost touch with. This was not a coincidence.

I had been on a Catholic dating site, and found Don's profile. It had been so many years since I'd last seen him at our wedding, I didn't recognize who he was, but was oddly drawn to him. As we began to communicate with one another, a feeling came over me that is difficult to explain, but I was coming to the unbelievable realization that this might be Don. I began to shake like never before, and hyperventilate. I went downstairs, brought up a picture I'd had of him from my wedding photo album, and compared it to his profile picture on the dating site.

I'd told him previously in our conversation online I was coming to Toronto.  We then found out we were both recovering members of A.A. and I confirmed it was Don, after asking questions about things that only I would know, if it was in fact him.

When I arrived in Toronto for the AA Convention and got settled in, I called Don immediately, and we arranged to meet at the Centre were there would be a huge meeting. I found out where he was sitting, and sat down beside him, after we hugged.

 Don had become a serious addict, and was very ill. It was heartbreaking to see him in such a fragile state. He wasn't the same person I once knew. He had once been studying for the priesthood and was from such a loving family from Cape Breton Nova Scotia. Bill loved his family like his own, and they dearly loved him.

Don and I now had a chance to talk about Bill, and what had happened, as Don was one of the last people to have seen him alive, before he'd died in Toronto, while I was in Nova Scotia.

What I learned from seeing Don was that this was not a chance meeting. It was meant to be, and I felt there had been a higher purpose, in that my hope and prayer was, that Don be enabled to hopefully find sobriety and a restoration in his health. God had brought us together under these circumstances in a mysterious and I think a miraculous way in order to find the temperance we both were so badly in need of, and had long been searching for. We both found this in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous after all these years. We were now two alcoholics helping one another.This is the miracle of A.A.

 "Whenever, wherever, one alcoholic meets another alcoholic and sees in that person first and foremost not that he or she is male or female, or black or white, or Christian, Buddhist, Jew, or Atheist, or gay or straight, or whatever, but sees... that he or she is alcoholic and that therefore both of them need each other - there will be not only an Alcoholics Anonymous, but there will be the Alcoholics Anonymous that you and I love so much and respect so deeply."

                                                  - Ernie Kurtz

Six of Swords - Harmony - Yeii Spirit

The Six of Swords is not a happy card, but harmonious, signifying an acceptance of limitations, and what can and can't be done.  I see myself as I am.
This harmony comes from a tranquil mind, not necessarily a tranquil heart. I now have insight and understanding of how the pattern of life works and can move forward.

This card describes exactly the way I am feeling presently. I know why I am on this road, how I got here, and am beginning to know what it means, which allows for change. We all ask those life questions. Who am I, where am I going , and how much is it going to cost? Just kidding about that last bit.

No one ever completely figures out what it all means. The fun is in the trying. It's the journey that's important, not the destination.


Though the Six of Swords is not a 'happy' card,  it is one of harmony, that gives a sense of dignity and self respect.

The question of the heart, well that's a different story, but my heart is open today, if not completely tranquil. That works for me right now, one day at a time.

Yeii Spirit- Catherine Meyers

The Star - A Time of Hope

 "There shall be signs in the Sun, Moon, and Stars" -  Jesus Christ

I cannot study the Sun and Moon without including the Star, as they are, and have always been closely connected to one another, dating back to ancient days.
The Star being the 17th, card, Moon the 18th, and Sun the 19th, are the order in which these cards come within Major Arcana in the Tarot deck.

The Star portends experience of hope, meaning and faith, where we find inspiration, generosity, and serenity.  It is a very positive card, though a realistic one. It is about turning the negative into the positive, overcoming difficulties and rising above them, remaining hopeful, and becoming a stronger, a better person  with depth, of character, because of our struggles, not just in spite of them.
We can fulfill our highest human potential. We look to heavenward, lightening the burdens and struggles of the earth.
Many dreadful afflictions have been released into the world from Pandora's box but the promise of hope remains, always.

The Star card - A Time of Hope 

The Star card always gives me a feeling of hope. It's an important card for the times that we are in right now. Following the Tower card, the Star is a guiding vision of hope and promise that arises from the ashes of the Tower which has been destroyed. In the journey of the Mythic Tarot, the Fool waits amidst the rubble, and has no clear sense of how or what to rebuild - all he is left with is hope, and a sense that all is not lost.

The Star card is the 17th card of the Major Arcana, and the next step on the Fool's journey in the Mythic Tarot. The card of the Star portrays Pandora as a beautiful, young woman with long, fair hair, kneeling before an open chest. From the chest, a swarm of flying creatures rise including dragon flies, wasps, bees, flies, moths and spiders; and they fill the sky with darkness. Pandora's eyes are fixed on a bright star symbolized by a female figure in glowing, white robes with a rainbow shining behind her.

In Greek mythology, Pandora is a lot like Eve, who represents the feminine side of human nature which includes feelings, instinct, imagination and intuition along with the need to probe for the truth despite the consequences. The wooden chest that Zeus, the father of all the Greek gods, sends to mankind is a lot like the apple in the Garden of Eden which Eve found hard to resist. The chest like the apple is something which is forbidden, but yet impossible to resist. It contains knowledge of the reality of human life which means the death of innocence and childlike fantasy, but it also contains the most precious attribute of the human spirit which is hope.

When Pandora opens the box, the terrible afflictions of human life that had been locked away by Zeus were now released which included - old age, labor, sickness, insanity, vice and passion; and they spread all over the world. Hope alone, which had also been locked in the chest, did not fly away.

On an inner level, the image of Pandora and the Star of Hope, is a symbol of that part of us which, despite disappointment, depression and loss can still cling to a sense of meaning and future which can still grow out of the unhappiness of the past. The Star does not reveal the future plans, or solution to one's problems, but like the cards of the Hermit and the Hanged Man, the Star is a card of waiting, for the sense of hope is a fragile light which glimmers and guides us through the darkness. Somehow, it offers us faith, and therefore in the card's image, Pandora's eyes are fixed not on the unhappiness of the human condition, but on this intuitive feeling that a dawn of a new day is coming.

The quality of hope has nothing to do with planned expectations, but is connected with something deeper which has sometimes been called the will to live. Doctors experience this with their patients – those who have a sense of hope and a strong will to live - will often find the inner resources to face a life-threatening dis-ease, and beat the odds. Likewise, individuals who have suffered tragic circumstances, or have faced challenges which are far greater than any human should have to go through such as those who experienced the concentration camps in Germany and Poland during World War II - have often expressed that it was some inner sense of hope and faith that meant the difference between survival and death. Hope is a profound and mysterious thing, for it would seem that it can transcend anything life offers us.

In a reading, the Star card represents the experience of hope, meaning and faith in the midst of challenges. It's a sign that there is new and better life coming in your future if only you can believe.

The Star is a symbol for all of us right now as we face a challenging world. If we can believe and envision a better life, we can co-create this life for each one of us. If you need some hope right now, have a reading to shed some light on your future path.

By Donna M. Fisher-Jackson, MA © 2010

Thanks to Juliet Sharman-Burke, and Liz Greene, the creators of the Mythic Tarot for their insightful comments.

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