Nine of Swords Vs 21 Years of Recovery

I really don't like seeing on the Nine of Swords the menacing wrath of these Furies toward Orestes, with their threatening presence.
Considering however today, January 2nd, 2015, being my 21 year A.A. anniversary of contented sobriety, it really gave me pause to reflect on my days before sobriety. I was like Orestes, tormented, often full of great fear and anxiety with feelings of impending doom, that did not necessarily manifest itself,  nonetheless it was both frightening and painful. The fear of destruction caused me to have all kinds of free floating anxiety and fantasy at times. I felt pursued by guilt and shame, which I thought would no doubt end in a terrible future, even if these fears where not based on reality. Of this however, I am quite convinced; had  I continued to drink, these fears would have eventually become self-fulling prophecies.

I thank God I came to understand the reason for my fear and guilt, which provided insight once I got sober through the 12 Step Fellowship.

I can not say I am completely free from worry, or never feel moments of fear and anxiety, but so does everyone. The difference today is, I no longer have to, nor choose to pick up a drink to cope. Today my antidote to worry is action and prayer.
Reality suits me just fine, no matter what happens in life today, and for that I am very grateful.

Wishes Versus Prayers - The Wish Card - Nine of Cups

It's coming on Christmas and for many, it is a time for wishes. The Nine of Cups, is called the 'Wish Card'. Many of my cherished wishes or what I call prayers, have come to fruition, and I am beyond grateful. These prayers are answered in one way or another, sooner or later, regardless if I like the outcome.

Most of these 'wishes' are manifested through my own efforts made, and is a validation of my commitment to doing the leg work, to make it happen. I think wishes are thoughts or intentions, prayers are thoughts of a kind, but more of a longing and listening, with the expectation that God will help me. Often I think I spend time wishing because I worry, which is the opposite of prayer, and speaks to my lack of trust.

I can't make deals with the God of my understanding. I do think I can ask in belief, and with faith that my longings will be realized. Most times the more clarity I have in my requests, the better. I don't think communication with the Creator is any different than when we communicate with others, especially with those we love. Humans for the most part, are not mind readers, I don't presume that God is either, though it is said that our prayers are known before we ask. Then why ask? I see it as a big part of doing the leg work in making the effort. I think this is a realistic expectation. Intention needs to be backed up with tangible application. We need walk the talk.

“There's no point having wishes if you don't at least try to do them”
― Sally Nicholls, Ways to Live Forever

" The only difference between a wish and a prayer is that you're at the mercy of the universe for the first, and you've got some help with the second."

 Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.  -Mother Teresa