Hmmm, what to say about the Ten of Wands. Looks pretty oppressive, and Jason is overwhelmed and hemmed in by all those flaming wands. He's feeling not only overwhelmed, but what he had taken on, in pursuing and finally obtaining the Golden Fleece, has left him depressed, and bored under the weight of everyday responsibilities which has definitely cramped his style.
Jason's great ship the Argo is wrecked, beached and mouldering. He has achieved what he set out to do, but isn't happy. The initial enthusiasm when he began this great undertaking, has long vanished. Jason may have been naive to think that the pursuit of this kind of adventure is not what is really going to bring him sustained happiness.
Like Jason, we can accomplish great things through our projects, and once they are achieved,we can be left with that feeling reflected in that old song, "Is that all there is?" The answer of course is no, that's not all there is, but we need to find a sustainable happiness within the real world. I am not what I do. This makes me ask myself, is it the pursuit of happiness or is it the happiness of pursuit, or both that are important?
In the past I was addicted to a state of hyper-vigilance. This kind of addiction I believe is rooted in unmet needs growing up. I grew up with this kind of addiction, because I never knew what was going to happen in our dysfunctional home, and so I unconsciously found myself in similar situations in life and in particularly in my relationships. It just felt normal to me, but I sure was not happy. Like Jason I was unaware of my limitations, and I often made the wrong choices or took on more than I could ever handle.
Some folks are addicted to the adrenalin rush that comes with some possibly dangerous risks, and they are never happy or satisfied unless they are in pursuit of the next big thing.
Today I can challenge myself within the real world with smart, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound goals. I can still partake in risk and adventure, that awakens the imagination with new ideas, new goals, and a new gamble, while wearing the world as a loose garment, to avoid burn out.
I don't feel the need to achieve huge great things today. Hyper-vigilance is not something I want anymore, but changing my habits for the better these days is, with not too much of an adrenalin rush needed.
Getting my next art series completed, having an exhibit, and getting my garage cleaned, that would be real big to me.