Five of Wands - I'm Not Wonder Woman?

Here we see Jason taking on the dragon who protects the Golden Fleece. Medea his lover and helper is close by his side to help him, with her three flaming wands. In life we all have our own personal dragons to slay. I call them shit sandwiches. Not one likes them, we hate them, unless you're addicted to a constant state of hyper-vigilance, which many people are, having grown up in chaotic and dysfunctional families, never knowing what's going to happen next.

Often the concealed lesson that lies within these dragons and sandwiches, is a revelation of exactly what we are made of when we find out our depth of character. But there's nothing easy about it.

The outcome isn't always positive, if we realize that we might be emotionally and/or morally bankrupt, collapsing under all the pressure, and we are paralyzed with a regressive inertia or fear of failure. We might even want or act on feelings of revenge or blame ourselves for having a meltdown that leaves us feeling like a very weak person.

This state I describe as being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have to let go and turn it over to the universe of the God of my understanding, and ask for help. Sometimes we simply need to get a backbone and be our own heroine or hero and fight. It's a remarkable thing what having a little faith can do, one step at a time. I don't have to solve everything immediately, and I don't have to do it alone. I do have to decide to make some kind of compromise.

When I think I can solve these kinds of battles and struggles on my own, this is when it gets me into real trouble. I'll cut my nose off to spite my face, deluding myself into thinking I'm Wonder Woman! I accepted a while ago that I'm not Wonder Women, but I still have to remind myself of this fact now and again.

This doesn't do anything to change the fact that we'll still have dragons to slay, and shit sandwiches to eat, but if so, find someone to help you slaughter that savage beast, and get yourself an olive. It just might help the sandwich go down a little easier.

Five of Wands - Fighting The Dragon

I'm just now getting back on line after being three days without my internet. I feel lost without my computer but I have other issues I have to deal with that cannot be avoided. I think I've had some time well spent over the past three and a half days to do some introspection and taking stock of my present circumstances surrounding what I want and how this matches reality.

The Five of Wands represents struggle. I haven't drawn this card for sometime. It's an appropriate card that describes my struggles as of late. When we are experiencing one difficult event after another, one can have a tendency to think, what in the heck is happening here, and why?

Our creative visions clash with reality, and it can feel like this is all some sort of conspiracy against us. It is not, it is simply life.

I know there is a source of strength I can draw upon the same way Jason draws on Medea's strength and knowledge. She is a close relative to the High Priestess, who embodies the feminine power of intuition and instinct. Medea who gives Jason the vision and courage to fight the battle with the dragon, in order to achieve his goal of acquiring the Golden Fleece.

This card urges us to have persistence and loyalty to a vision, to make compromises, and to fight for what we want. I need to address my struggles with material reality head on. If not, one risks falling into a depressive and apathetic mood which all represents the dragon of inertia..
Fortunately this is not my nature, though I am certainly not immune to depression and feelings of apathy, especially when I procrastinate, and avoid things I should not. The more I ignore these issues the worse the situation gets. The struggle will prove fruitful, if I rally the forces and tools available to me, such as trust, perseverance, and prayer.