Channeling The Life Force From Above and Below

The Magician is a very life affirming card because I know if I listen to it's message, I can draw strength, and confidence from this Major Arcana card, that it embodies as the Magician is the protector, and spiritual teacher of the Fool, offering guidance and wisdom.

I know too, that I can trust my intuition, imagination, goals, objectives, and tools that are laid out on the table before me, at my disposal. It is essential for me to have confidence, and to not have any regret or doubt, causing me to sit on the fence of indecision.

I can not live in the past, nor project into the future. Living in the present is always the best approach to life. The Magician urges me to act decisively, otherwise my plans will not come to fruition.

The Magician acquires insight, inspiration, and strength from the heavens, reaching toward the sky, but also reaching toward the earth's foundation, with feet firmly placed on the ground, so as to actualize individual capacities, bringing them down to earth, where they are rooted and grow.

Given all the tools needed, we all can manifest our capacities of the life force, from above, and below. We can all be the Magician of our own lives, if we will but use the tools we have been given.

Wheel of Fortune - Four Directions Prayer

As 2014 comes to a close, I think the Wheel of Fortune is in sync with the nearing arrival of the New Year, 2015. The Wheel of Fortune reminds me of the First Nations Medicine Wheel, and the Four Directions Prayer that I love, and wanted to share it.

FOUR DIRECTIONS PRAYER

Creator, It is I,

Thank you for today's sunrise,

for the breath and life within me,

and for all of your creations.

Creator, Hear my prayer, and

honour my prayer.                                              


As the day begins with the rising sun,

I ask, Spirit Keeper of The East,

Brother Eagle, Be with me.

Fly high as you carry my prayers

to the Creator.

May I have eyes as sharp as yours,

so I am able to see truth and hope

on the path that I have chosen.

Guide my step and give me

courage to walk the circle of

my life with honesty and dignity.


Spirit Keeper of the South, Wolf,

Be with me...

Help me to remember to love;

and feel compassion for all mankind.

Help me to walk my path with joy

and love for myself, for others

for the four legged, the winged ones,

the planets and all creations upon

Mother Earth.

Show me it is right for me

to make decisions with my head

even if at times, my heart becomes hurt.

Help me to grow and nurture myself worth in all ways.


Spirit Keeper, of the West, Brown Bear, be with me.

Bring healing to the people I love and to myself

Bring healing into balance the physical,

mental, and spiritual, so I am

able to know my place on this

earth, in life and in death

Heal my body, heal my mind

and bring light, joy and awareness to my spirit.


Spirit Keeper of the North, White

Buffalo, Be with me.

As each day passes, help me to

surrender, with grace, the things

of my youth.

Help me to listen to the quiet,

and find serenity and comfort in silences as they become longer.

Give me wisdom so I am able to

make wise choices in all things

which are put in front of me,

And when time for my change of worlds has come,

Let me go peacefully, without

regrets, for the things I neglected

to do as I walked along my path.


Mother Earth

Thank you for your beauty,

And for all you have given me.

Remind me never to take from you more than I need, and

remind me to always give back

more than I take.  

Five of Swords - Walking Away From Nonsense

As 2015 approaches, I have been moving closer toward making my life nonsense free. I am not going to take it from others, nor from myself. What I am talking about, is the negative kind of nonsense, not the ' lets run around, have an afternoon of make funny faces, and do impersonations, fun ' kind of nonsense.

The people in my life that dish out negative nonsense are rare, because I can't have people like this in my life. When they do appear, often as strangers, or acquaintances, it takes me by surprise. I am usually not prepared. It can really throw me off base, because in the past, I accepted this behaviour. I was a passive bystander, not an assertive participator in my relationships, unable to assert my own rights.

The Five of Swords indicates the shadow side of love, and walking away from conflict. I had to address this shadow side on two occasions this week, and I walked away, not without standing up for myself. This is what I have to do when others exhibit this kind of behaviour, otherwise I feel like I condone it, give the message that it's acceptable,  and these folks will no doubt continue fobbing this nonsense onto another. Passive aggression, bullying or abuse is a continuum, if it is not addressed.

 In my 12 step program, we are told to make amends with those we have wronged, as soon as you have wronged them. I have made this an essential part of the way I live my life. Some folks will never apologize for wrongs done, and so I have to accept that, and let it go. It is however easier to forgive another when they apologize, and then change their behaviour. Apologies, and changed behaviour can salvage relationships, and even strengthen the bonds between individuals. It is however, next to impossible to sustain a relationship with another who continues with negative behaviour, when an apology is non-existent. It can break hearts.

Letting go has meant saying goodbye to friendships, or deciding I can no longer continue on with some relationships be they recent, or long term, because I have accepted my own limitations, and boundaries.

That's all I have to say about this. I leave you with this quote...

Ten of Cups

I spent Christmas with some very dear, and close friends yesterday. I consider them to be very much like family. My good friend Lois, is like the sister I've never had. It was truly a beautiful day, and I was very grateful. After Christmas dinner, my friend and I were in the kitchen, having a heart to heart talk. She said she worried about me, when I spend Christmas by myself. I told her not to worry about me. They go away every other Christmas, and so I don't spend it with them as I usually do, as they travel to the States for Christmas.

This got me to thinking, as I drew the Ten of Cups this morning, a card that represents "ongoing contentment and permanence in the realm of the heart ", when I then happened across this very wise, fitting, comforting, and truthful quote.

I have spent a good portion of my life in my own company alone, and so I've learned to get comfortable in the my own skin. I wasn't always comfortable with being alone, but once I sobered up, it became much easier and I actually value living alone. 
I really strive to be my own best friend, and to learn how to be alone, whether in a relationship with another or not.

 I heard on CBC radio this morning, an item about people experiencing loneliness, particularly the elderly, and how they do not have as long of a life expectancy, as others, if they have few social connections. I believe this to be true. Thankfully today, many elderly folks can socially interact through Skype and other online services, but many are still ignored, and neglected especially during the holidays. As the old adage often seems to hold true, ' Out of site out of mind '.

The radio program late last night, featured a 94 year old woman, who over the past eight years, had been using the internet. She Skyped with her friends and family. She stated how much it had changed her life. She'd grown up in South Africa as an orphan, were she was never shown any signs of affection. It was a very touching story she had to tell, one of hope, and a woman's inner soul strength. 

A few nights ago I was re-reading, as I often do, my most cherished book, Women Who Run With The Wolves, by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I was reading about the definition of the word alone, and the story of the Sea Maiden, or Seal Skin, Soul Skin, which is about ' Returning to Oneself. '

Originally the meaning of alone, consisted of two words , all one, which meant to be wholly one, which is related to intentional solitude. In ancient days solitude or the all one state once was palliative, preventative, and a way of listening to the inner self, and used as an oracle, a way to call up the soul, take a personal inventory and assessment our lives. Doing this I believe this is the way we draw our soul strength.

Seal Skin, Soul Skin - Catherine Meyers

Carl Jung said, " It would be far better simply to admit our spiritual poverty....When spirit becomes heavy, it turns to water....Therefore the way of the soul...leads to water. " The return to home and the intervals of conversing with the seal from the rock in the sea are our acts of innate and integral ecology, for they all are a return to the water, a meeting with the wild friend, the one who above all others loves us unremittingly, unguardedly, and with profound endurance. We need only look into and learn from those soulful eyes that are " wild and wise and loving. "  - Women Who Run With The Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Winter Wolf

Two of Pentacles - Finding Balance and Harmony

Two of Wands yesterday, and Two of Pentacles today.

The Two of Pentacles speaks to me of balance, which is often one of the most difficult life lessons to learn, in a world of excess, especially during the holidays. Many get more than they could ever possibly need, to eat, drink, and on top of then having the consequences of going into debt for one day of the year. But I don't want to get onto a tangent about that.

What I am more concerned with is how I find a daily balance and harmony in my life, with my mind, body, and spirit year round. First I have to be grounded, and I do this through prayer and journaling long hand, which is a kind of prayer and meditation. I need to work on finding ways to relax especially through exercise. I also need to strive to have healthy stress in my life, instead of the kind that makes you want to pull you hair out or maybe pull someone else's hair out.

 I had a incident yesterday involving a very negative individual, that carried on into today, a person I hardly know, who seemed intent on fighting with me online. I refrained, and made it clear I was not going to argue, after all it is Christmas, and who needs that? I don't! I had enough of that in my life. If I obsess about these kinds of issues I simple breath life into the situation and I perpetuate my own stress.
Balance for me it is about getting my priorities right. First, and foremost, I need to take care of myself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I need to set my boundaries, be clear about what is acceptable to me, what isn't, and act on that.

How I can find balance in my own life with the New Year 2015 on the near horizon.  I'm not one to make New Year's resolution as it is my opinion most of these that people make don't usually come to fruition. The old adage comes to mind;' The road to hell is paved with good intentions. '
For me balance is found in the everyday things I choose to do and need to do in order to develop good habits that will help me to take good care of myself. Oh I know what it is I need to do, question is, I have to ask myself, do I really want to do it, and how how important is it? What I want, needs to match up with what I do in my daily life. This is what I am going to strive for in the 2015.


I would very much like to know how others find balance and harmony in their lives.

Cactus and Mother Earth - Catherine Meyers

Page of Wands - Gratitude For Creative Inspiration

As I went to shuffle my Mythic Tarot deck this morning, to draw my daily card, the Page of Wands seemed to jump out of my hand, and it landed on the table. So I thought, this is my card for the day. A card that is full of promise in the year to come..


This messenger brings the good news of delicate beginnings, and creative inspiration. I'm definitely feeling the restlessness, and unease associated with this the Page of Wands. But there will be new ideas, new ventures, and a new phase to come.

 The creative imagination that inspires, sometimes can seem to be at odds with the realities of mundane everyday responsibilities, like paying bills, getting you car fixed, leaking hot water pipes, or dealing with others who can't figure out why in hell you would ever pursue an art 'career', because many creatives live in poverty. But having wealth isn't about having money.

 Many people couldn't care less about art or creativity, and really may even think, you have lost your mind completely, if you actually ever had one!

Living a creative life is what makes me really happy, and I am very grateful for my health, and for an abundance of love in my life.

Today I take responsibility for my own happiness, no one else's. I have come to understand what makes me happy and unhappy.

 Artist's can change the world for the better, and that is most important to me, as it is my vocation. I look very forward to Christmas Day, tomorrow and to the New Year, as I hope we all do, and whatever your vocation, my hope is that you will change this global world, to make a more joyful, peaceful and wealthier place to live, for everyone, everywhere.

I Do A Great Lizard Impression...Really - Two of Swords

When I see this card, the Two of Swords with the dude in the middle, the two individuals pinning him in, and threatening with swords, I think of that saying, ' reality sucks '.  Life is hard, no two ways about it. We can feel we're between a rock, and a hard place, damned if we do, damned if we don't. So just what do we do?

In the past, I would run from reality. Sometimes I think it's just in my DNA. Regardless of being a recovering sober alcoholic, for almost 21 years, come January 2nd 2015, I can still feel my propensity to want to run away in my mind, when reality sucks. Old habits do die very hard. Perhaps this is simply a human characteristic, wanting to escape troubles or painful situations, and we are born with a the fight or flight instinct. After feeling this initial instinctual reaction, we do have a choice, to either react, or respond accordingly.

Swords represent the intellectual aspect of ourselves, and the Two of Swords urges to us to take action with our rational mind, instead of ancient lizard brain. We really need to exercise discernment, diplomacy, and commonsense as an adult, responding, instead of reacting to a difficult situation. Otherwise, we can really get into a pile of mess, and I can certainly attest to that. We can even do an injury to ourselves, or to someone else, in particular those you love. So my biggest New Year's resolution is to do myself a big favour each day, and continue to grow by getting real with reality.

In the 12 step program we have a slogan. H.O.W. stands for Honesty, Open mind and Willing. This is how it reality works for me, whether I like it or not.

Lounge Lizard

Ace of Pentacles - Pennies From Heaven?

Pennies from heaven, is what the Ace of Pentacles signifies. Well not exactly for me, but close enough this week, and I am very grateful. I don't believe pennies come from heaven. I do believe in the Grace of God, and that angels walk among us.

Money can never make people happy, but it can certainly relieve a lot of stress, struggle, and difficulty. I can't really imagine having so much money, you no longer have to worry about it. But I'm certain there are those individuals who do worry about money, in spite of having more than enough of what they need. There is no point in worrying about money, but never being able to make ends meet, it can wear on you, particularly if you are living on a restricted budget or fixed income.

When I was young, I remember very well, my grandfather, who lived through the depression, and I can hear him saying," The rich get richer, and the poor, get poorer. " It has always proven to be true in my opinion. That said, there are varying definitions of wealth and poverty. In the West, some may have an abundance of wealth, but are spiritually poor, and it is often the opposite situation in the third world countries, where there is spiritual abundance, but dire poverty, that we in the North America can hardly begin to comprehend or imagine.

My prayer for Christmas holiday season is that those without enough food, shelter, warmth and family be provided for with love. I pray that those who are spiritually poor, be given a spiritual awakening causing them to be filled with a giving,  loving, open heart, and mind.

Finding The Light In The Dark - Ten of Wands

There are those of us who are afraid of the darkness, or find it oppressive and depressing. Some embrace the darkness, especially those who live in the North. They find a beauty, and peace in the dark of the North, that many Southerners may never experience or fully understand. I was blessed to have been able to have lived in Northern Canada for three years. Initially it was an adjustment, but I adapted quickly to the lack of daylight. I will say the excess of light in the Summer months made up for it, and because of this, I actually found it more of an adjustment when I moved back to the South,  if you can call Nova Scotia being the 'South'.

An over active imagination can contribute to our fears of the dark, but if we can learn to embrace the darkness we will eventually find the light, and be able to overcome our fear of the unknown.

Upon first impression, the Ten of Wands, the last numbered card of the suit of Wands, gives a feeling of heavy oppression, because it speaks of taking on too much, and feeling overwhelmed. We have lost enthusiasm for our once new creative project or undertaking. Here we see Jason surrounded, and bound by burning Wands, with the Golden Fleece on the ground, and the once great Argos is beached and wrecked in the background. You would expect a different scenario after Jason's accomplishment.

Being surrounded by the burden of the Wands on fire, we ask ourselves, what now, and how am I going to get out of this situation? Will I ever get back to were I was once was creatively? We all experience what some call creative blocks, or what I call a kind of spiritual dryness where depression can follow a particular creative or happier time. Often when we are feeling oppressed, this can lead to suppression, and eventually unconscious to repression all this can stifle our creativity, and happiness.

We may feel like, some how we have lost our way, and are out of touch with ourselves, maybe we are feeling burnt out, under the weight of many burdens.
Although this fire can hurt us, if we let it, it still provides us with a light that points to the way out, and can illuminate our path on the pilgrimage of life.


For me, the Winter Solstice is the time to deeply reflect, take an inventory of my life at present, to prioritize, and to apply the slogan, ' first things first'. I need to discern what it is I need to unburden myself from, and perhaps add to, or reorganize my life in order to restore my vision.

When we hit the darkest low points in life, I do believe, we can only go down so far, before we begin to come back up, as my strong mother, and wise mentor would always say, in so many words.  The darkest hour is truly just before the dawn, when the restorative life giving warmth of the sun, will come shining through.

This past year has been a difficult one for me personally, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Today seemed to be the culmination of a rough past two weeks. As I was writing this post, there came a knock at the door, and I found a very dear, kind friend, who reached out in generousity, and I was overwhelmed with emotion, in  great gratitude.

The Crescent Moon Bear- Catherine Meyers

The Spirit of Solstice - Sun Stands Still - Hope Is Renewed

The Eight of Cups very much corresponds with my thoughts today about letting go. Psyche, as she descends into the underworld, all hope seems lost, and even abandoned. There is nothing more left, for her to do, but to let go of the past, and of the future. Letting go for me is about turning things over to the God of my understanding. Letting go is rather like releasing a balloon. Once we let it go, it begins to float, you don't grab hold of the long string attached, and take it back again, when you let it go, it is gone.

 As I was saying to a friend today, it is easy to let go, when things are all going accordingly. I compare it to loving those who are easy to love. There is no virtue in that, those who are miserably unkind, and cruel do this. Loving the unlovable, or embracing difficulties, and burdens is how I learn those important life lessons.

On the shortest day of the year, The Winter Solstice's literal meaning of the word, is "Sun stands still". Today is the perfect time to reflect on the past year, and look to the renewed hope for the coming year and the future.

 The shortest day of the year gives way to the celebration of rebirth, and longer days to come, as the sun will shine brighter through to the Summer Solstice on June 21st, the longest day of the year. This day has special meaning to me because it was the day I married my soul mate. Though Bill left this mortal coil over 34 years ago, I still miss him deeply, especially at Christmas. He was the kindest soul I've ever known, and as the sun stands still today,  I will carry him close, in the small of my heart, as I always do.

The Fool's Journey - A New Chapter

A much welcomed card for me today, The Fool. In many ways, the card has more meaning to me, then all  other in the Mythic Tarot deck, for several reasons. This beautiful card signifies all that is youthful, creative, and being connected with our higher selves.

There are never any guarantees at the beginning of our life journey, that we will arrive safely, but we must be open to life because life is meant to be fully lived.

I love the Fool,  as the card represents an open heart, and mind to all the possibilities in life.
Many years ago when I lived in Prince Edward Island, I became very interested, and preoccupied with Commedia dell'Arte, and moved to Toronto to study the foundation of street theatre.

 The white face is commonly known in the world of the clown, and Mime. I learned as much as possible about the history of the white face in cultures. Traditionally white face it is seen as the death mask. Court Jesters had the job of reminding Kings of their mortality, to remain humble, and to laugh at themselves. Death is the great equalizer, and no one gets out of here alive.

The Fool being the first card of the Tarot, is augers a great enthusiasm to willingly embark upon the threshold of life's journey. The Fool is mortal, simultaneously, has an animal like instinct, and intuition, however, is also very much akin to the angels, with a child like innocence, and purity of heart. The Fool is very much a participant, never the bystander, who just is satisfied to sit on the side lines of life.

Representing Dionysos, the Fool is the son of the king of the gods, betwixt and between the heavens, and the underworld. Ever the creative artist, the dancer, the mad, irrational, the impulsive one, who does things 'out of the blue' toward change, and unknown horizons

 The Fool possesses the tools needed for a new chapter in life that awaits, and this always involves a willingness to take a risk.

King of Wands - I Was Dreaming,Then I Got Off My Bum

This is the second day in a row of picking the King of Wands from my daily draw. My online fellow Tarot blogger By The Sycamore Tree, drew the same card today. I really liked, and appreciated her interpretation of the King of Wands. So I got the message loud and clear today.

 I had been procrastinating which I'm really good at, by the way. I have been procrastinating getting my Christmas decorating done. I could have made a number of excuses why I didn't get at it, and maybe soon found myself in a Christmas funk. But with great purpose, I ignored my inner Grinch, and so I got to it, and at it this afternoon. I cleaned, well that's a relative term I use loosely. Then I opened up my Christmas box, filled with all my Christmas ornies. I actually enjoyed myself, and now that it's done I am feeling a little bit in the Christmas Spirit, well a little more than a little.

As long as I go with the flow, embrace my feelings good, and not so good feelings, it's an easier time for me I find, to move forward, especially at Christmas. So many troubles, and tragedy in the world, and it can all get you down. You can begin to think it isn't such a beautiful world, that perhaps there are no more beautiful people, especially this time of year. But after all is said and done, it is still a beautiful world, and there are many beautiful people on this earth.

I am so very grateful to be alive, for my life, for beautiful friends and family, to be able to celebrate is a such blessing. So this is what I concentrate on, and I'm glad I got off my bum!

King of Wands - Jumps The Fences In Stride, One Fence At A Time

I have had a run of drawing the court cards this past week. Today the King of Wands came up, one of my favourite cards, because it symbolizes the creative imagination. This card urges me to initiate new ideas, and share them with others, because I do have big a need for creative development. It also reminds me to check my ego at the door, focusing and concentrating on creating work for a higher purpose and vision.

This card is very timely for me right now, as I have been really reflecting on my creative and personal goals, considering the approach of the new year 2015. I am really looking forward to the coming year, and will be very happy to say adios to 2014, as it's been more than a challenge, but I tried hard to take each obstacle as they came, one day or even one moment at a time.

When I was in my early teens I had a friend Wendy, who had a horse. I so much longed for a horse, as far back as I can remember. I would vicariously live through my friends who had horses. Eventually I was finally able to fulfill my dream of being close to horses, at the age of 40, for almost two years. I learned so many lessons about life from living around, and working with horses, as it was one of the best experiences I've ever had, if not the best.

One lesson I learned at thirteen, from my horse friend, was what she related to me about jumping fences. She told me her riding coach said, " jumps were to be conquered one at a time ". She was to focus and concentrate on what was directly ahead of her on the course, living in the moment, not worrying about what fences had been knocked down, and what obstacles were ahead.

After she said this to me, it gave me pause, but I never really related it to life, like I do now.

So this year, I will figure out what fence is right in front of me, take it in stride and get over that one, before I continue on the the next one.

King of Cups - Surrender, Don't Give Up!

The King of Cups is a card I think many of us can relate to, especially creative types. We often use creativity as a way to express our deepest, and sometimes most painful feelings. I know I certainly relate to the wounded healer as the King of Cups, as this card is often referred to as being. This individual helps others with great compassion and empathy, and sensitivity, but can't seen to help or heal himself.

He lacks trust in the unfolding of life, and can not surrender himself to the world of the unconscious. I found myself this way many years back, when I was much younger, working in the human service field with adults and youth. I became moody, and rather unpredictable in my behaviour.

The King of Cups is described as being the greatest musician and poet alive.  He is also a spiritual man, but he is at discord with his emotional life which is held in check. The King of Cups thinks that he must keep his own emotion arms length, when it comes to processing his own feelings in a healthy way, and his difficulty letting things go,though he longs to be in touch with the feeling world, to express his deep emotion, he lives rather vicariously through others, by helping them. But we cannot solve nor should we try to work out our own issues by projecting them on to, or through others, and often we can be unaware we are even doing this.

The King of Cups has real difficulty opening himself up to intimate relationships, for fear of getting hurt. He keeps himself busy with people, places, and things, as a diversion from his feelings.

I read something today that embodies a description of what it means to surrender. 
Surrender is not about giving up... it's about letting go.


I know if I do not acknowledge and surrender to my feelings, especially around sadness, I  carry around an ongoing underlying depression, that I know takes a tole on my health, if not directly, indirectly.

Christmas time is particularly difficult for many, and if we can find a way to openly talk about this, to unburden ourselves, with someone we trust, we can feel better by naming our feelings, and letting them go. Embracing and acknowledging feelings makes it easier to let them go.

All Is Not Lost - Five of Cups

The Five of Cups speaks about regret, and remorse over severed relationships or an unfulfilled dream. We all at one time or another live with regret, saying to ourselves "If only..."

We don't need to focus only on what is spilled. There is still one cup that remains, and it is upright, so all is not lost! There is always hope!

We can't hold onto regrets, because it is living in the past, and this robs us of today's happiness.

There is nothing we can do about what has happened in the past, other than makes amends, if we need to, and ask for forgiveness. We also can make the effort to not repeat the same behaviour, or make the same mistakes.

Usually people will forgive if we are honest, and have a sincere heart. We forgive others that have hurt us, for ourselves, not for them, so we are not carrying around resentment, and bitterness, that eats you up inside, where a bitter root grows, with bitter tendrils like vines that invade, and enter every aspect of our lives.

 The hardest thing is to forgive ourselves, this has always been my experience. Accepting and acknowledging that we have done wrong to the person we have hurt, including ourselves, enables us to move forward, to make a new start, and strengthen our relationship with ourselves, with others, and with the God of our understanding.

Transcendence - The World

The World is a reassuring card that I have drawn today, after this past week which has be a rather difficult one. A sense of completion and wholeness, the ideal goal in the cycle of life, that goes on as they say, and we are left often trying to figure out what it all means. There are often no answers to our questions, but I do believe with the depth of my soul, that there is the power to transcend, through a spiritual awakening, the kind the Carl Jung referred to regardless of your religious belief.

Life being so full of ups and downs, we all pass through various phases, that present a variety of challenges. It can be very difficult to find joy when we are at the low ebbs of the cycle. I compare life to the weather. Wait a while, and it will change. If there is nothing we can do, then we can do nothing, but wait for the storms to pass, and take what joy we can, out of the moments we have, and be grateful for the seemingly  insignificant little things, as well as the major events in life.

All the elements come into play in the last card of the major Arcana. The unborn potential and capacity of the personality leads the birth of the Fool which completes the circle of life.

The World causes me to reflect on the Winter Solstice which is fast approaching, heralding the end of darkness and beginning of new light. In the cycle of life, life begins, ends and begins again.

"The great cycle of the Major Arcana ends where it begins." -The Mythic Tarot

Skeleton Woman - Catherine Meyers

Queen of Cups - Emotion Vs Reason

I was once told I was like a ball of emotion. This isn't true. I am simply no longer afraid of my emotion, but I wasn't always this way. Today I am very grateful to be able express my emotion, because there was a time when I completely shut down my feelings for many years, and learned to do this at the age of five, due to my family circumstances.

 I also learned how unhealthy it is to suppress emotion as it eventually leads to repression, resulting in an inability to know you even have these feelings. It is if a steel door has been slammed shut where nothing gets out and nothing gets in.
Alcoholism is described as being a disease of the emotion. Being sober 20 years, I can attest to this.

The reason I love the Queen of Cups, is that she reminds me emotion is a good thing, balanced with reason. And like the Queen of Cups who relies on her intuition before her intellect. I believe this is a good way to live life. At some point we have to let go of reason, and make a leap of faith. We need to have faith in ourselves, in others, and a faith in the God of our understanding.

 I can't say feeling emotion is painless, because that would be far from the truth, unless I am crying tears of joy. More often than not, we experience emotion from painful things, like the death of a loved one. No one wants to feel pain. Our immediate response, and I will only speak for myself is fight or flight. In the past, I would want to take, what I thought, was the easier soft way, and run away. Thank goodness now, I strive to have courage in the face of fear. Having courage does not mean I am not afraid.

What if I don't believe in God, and what if I find it hard to have faith you ask? I remember it being said, that if you don't believe or have faith then borrow someone else' faith. That made a lot of sense to me, because others can give you if not a complete faith of your own, well it can at least give you courage to go on. Those who have been through worse things than ourselves, can inspire us to believe that if they can make it through, perhaps we can too.

People who have been through hard times in life, are often more compassionate, and can cry with those who weep. Like the Queen of Cups, they drink deeply from the cup of life, and are emotionally generous. They can impart this to others, so we in turn can pass it on, and give it away to others.
It is in giving that we receive.

This emotional generousity is compassion, and can make our world a better, kinder place, that will bring tears of joy, and the tears that heal.

Strength of The Lion - King of Wands

This card the King of Wands very much describes many characteristics of my friend Howard's personality.  It gives me comfort, and makes me smile that I drew this card today. Honest, dependable, tenderhearted, kind, generous, backs up his own ideas, a self-starter who rarely sits still, and is a natural born creative leader, who was able to turn his weaknesses into strength.

Like the King of Wands, Howard didn't care so much about the what people thought, though he was very ready to listen to your opinion, and always was quick to express his own. As well, his leadership skills were very much manifested in his willingness to help and serve others, without hesitation. My creative friend, had a thirst for adventure, was a fighter, and very much a lover of life and all God's creatures, just like the King of Wands, and  he longed to go to Scotland.

Like many men and women I have known, myself included, the King of Wands have ' father issues. ' This can be the source of profound hurt, regret and other problems that affect interpersonal relationships. We all have to work through these ' issues ' in our own way and time, in order to find happiness, and finally come to a place of peace, in life, or in death.

Love Never Dies - Queen of Swords

The Queen of Swords continues on bravely in spite of loss.
She is very much the idealist, in that she can expect a lot from others. This can be a big disappointment if these expectations are unrealistic. My experience has shown me that people will, and do disappoint, because they will never measure up to unrealistic expectations.  I have to accept my short comings, know and understand, that I have in the past, and no doubt will continue to disappoint someone in some way, simply because I am a human being. I need to forgive and love myself and others for not 'measuring' up.

On the other hand people can surprise, delight and display loving kindness that will restore faith, and my belief in the capacity for love. In this troubled world today, I need to hold fast to this, because it gives hope.

 I don't have to expect others to believe in what I believe, but if they can truly love others, and show human kindness, this is what is important to me.

I lost a close friend to death yesterday, and though I know he was not so much a believer in God, he displayed more generousity of spirit, gentleness, and love than many people who don't, but profess to love God. I never expected this of him, and accepted him as he was, as he accepted me, warts and all.

I certainly will miss him, very, very much. He had a lot to teach others about love, and I hope he knew just how much he was loved. My friend had three essential qualities in order to live a full life, a love for his fellow man and woman, humility, and a great sense of humour. It was a privilege, and a great blessing to have known him.
Howard helped to show me the way, and to know that love never dies.

Friendship and Human Kindness - Four of Wands

 Jason would never have been able to achieve his goal without the kindness, and generousity of his friends who helped him to achieve his goal of obtaining the Golden Fleece.

The same holds true for our own friendships, which is truly a blessing. I know I could never survive without my friends in my life, past, present or future. It is a remarkable, and I think miraculous event, when we meet up with new friends, seeing those we have known all our lives, but are now separated from, for great lengths of time, and when we meet up with them again, it is as if we've never been apart.

I remember meeting certain folks, if only briefly, that I felt an immediate connection with, that I will never forget. My mother would always say that real, true friendships are few, and far between. If you can call those individuals in your life, true friends, you are blessed. I agree with her.

Acquaintances can be many, but these are not deep friendships. However when I reflect on the meaning of friendship, I think of kindnesses shown to me. I think of all the people who picked me up hitch hiking to, and from University when I had no vehicle. I think of days I had to reach out to others who never hesitated to  respond, even when I didn't ask, with no expectation. Many of these people I do not see, or may never see again, but I consider them friends, because of their kindness toward me, when I most needed help, and I will never, ever forget them.

Christmas is a time when we celebrate with our friends and family. But for many it is not so much a time of celebration, but a time of sadness and struggle. It is easy to love your immediate friends and family, not so easy to do for those who are out of sight and out of mind, such as those who are in prison or are experiencing homelessness.

There is not much virtue in loving your friends, but with those who are our enemies or those we do not know, it is when we show human kindness that makes all the difference to another, and to ourselves. Small kindnesses should never be underestimated, they are just as important as the large kindnesses..

I hope this Christmas  and throughout the coming years, I will reach out to others, and impart that human kindness that was so freely given to me, regardless if they are my friends or not.

 I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
 
Ettiene De Grellet

Getting Smart With Discernment - Five of Pentacles

This card looks a little ominous and dark as Daedalus is skulking off after having to leave and let go of his material success and position. Most importantly what he has lost, is faith in himself.

He has been left with, is an opportunity to deal with all of his troubles the loss that was self-inflicted, but he can begin again and transformation and real happiness is now possible.

There are several important lessons and messages in this card. It is said for every action there is a reaction, according to Newton's law of motion. Our perception and insight can get obstructed by other things that we  put before our values, and we can loose our way. Then we pay the consequences for our action, leaving us without faith in ourselves or whatever we thought we had gained materially and unhappy.

Discernment is the most essential strength, skill and emotional intelligence I can have, when making decisions in all areas of my life.

North Versus South - The Sun

It's a lovely thing to see the Sun, with the fast approach of Winter. I am not a sun worshiper, in the sense of being a person who sits in the sun day after day, soaking up the rays. I do however love to see the brightness, and light it brings everyday, especially when the days are short with too much darkness for my liking.

One of the reasons I look forward to Christmas is knowing the Winter Solstice is just around the corner, and with the approaching days of increasing light. There are good and beautiful things I greatly love about the North and the South, the Sun and the Moon, the dark and the light. You can't have one without the other.

In the 80s I moved to the North West Territories, where I lived in Yellowknife and Fort Smith for three years. It was wonderful having all that light until midnight, and I felt short changed when I returned to Nova Scotia, with 9:00 o'clock sunsets in the Summer.

More sunlight means folks generally have a sunnier disposition, or a least you don't have to work so hard at always keeping on the sunny side of life. Oh don't get me wrong, Winter was brutally cold and dark in the NWT.

The first year I arrived on April 28th, the day before the ice bridge closed. I thought I was going to end up on the bottom of the MacKenzie River, because the ice was melting! I was at least somewhat acclimatized, but I wasn't prepared for snow on my birthday June 4th, and I wondered what was I thinking moving from Nova Scotia to the 'Great White North, The Land of The Midnight Sun!'

When I returned to the Maritimes, sometimes I would tell stories to people about how it was so cold my braids would freeze, break right off, and fall on the ground, and a few other tales people would believe  about the frigid temperatures. The favourite story I would tell, was about how some Northerners didn't have ears because of frost bite, their ears fell off, and as a result they couldn't wear glasses.

I'm grateful to still have my ears and today I was happy to see I had drawn the Major Arcana card, The Sun. This card speaks of expanding horizons along with creative endeavours to follow. Oh happy day!

If we can't find the Sun outside of ourselves we have to find it within, and let it shine.

Northern Boys - Catherine Meyers

Wishes Versus Prayers - The Wish Card - Nine of Cups

It's coming on Christmas and for many, it is a time for wishes. The Nine of Cups, is called the 'Wish Card'. Many of my cherished wishes or what I call prayers, have come to fruition, and I am beyond grateful. These prayers are answered in one way or another, sooner or later, regardless if I like the outcome.

Most of these 'wishes' are manifested through my own efforts made, and is a validation of my commitment to doing the leg work, to make it happen. I think wishes are thoughts or intentions, prayers are thoughts of a kind, but more of a longing and listening, with the expectation that God will help me. Often I think I spend time wishing because I worry, which is the opposite of prayer, and speaks to my lack of trust.

I can't make deals with the God of my understanding. I do think I can ask in belief, and with faith that my longings will be realized. Most times the more clarity I have in my requests, the better. I don't think communication with the Creator is any different than when we communicate with others, especially with those we love. Humans for the most part, are not mind readers, I don't presume that God is either, though it is said that our prayers are known before we ask. Then why ask? I see it as a big part of doing the leg work in making the effort. I think this is a realistic expectation. Intention needs to be backed up with tangible application. We need walk the talk.

“There's no point having wishes if you don't at least try to do them”
― Sally Nicholls, Ways to Live Forever

" The only difference between a wish and a prayer is that you're at the mercy of the universe for the first, and you've got some help with the second."

 Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.  -Mother Teresa

 

What To Do With B'shert - The Star

The Star is a very hopeful card, where guidance is found from within, giving meaning and faith, in the midst of difficulty, when Pandora's box has been opened. I drew this card Friday and didn't get a chance to blog about it. It has been on my mind since, because I have been thinking a lot about life, destiny, fate, and thought I'd continue with the post as soon as I could, after a busy few days.

I subscribe to a site, and am part of an online community. Rabbi Brian sends along 'wisdom biscuits' from his site that he calls ' Religion Outside The Box '. I am glad I was late in posting about The Star, because when I received the post from Rabbi Brian today, I thought it fit well with The Star, a card that warns us against having blind hope, when our dreams don't match up with reality, but urges and reminds us to keep the faith, and to know that deep within, we possess a will to live. We need to hold tight to hope, as it can make all the difference between life and death, in some circumstances.

It is easy to feel like things are meant to be when things are going our way, but I ask myself what happens when they aren't working the way I want? Do I lose hope and faith, feel sorry for myself, and ask why me? Certainly all the struggles, suffering and burdens, many of us bare more than our share, and it is sometimes very hard to have hope and faith.  Are those difficulties meant to be? I don't think so. It is simply the reality of life. Life is what happens, when we are making other plans as John Lennon once said.


Rabbi Brian calls it, "b'shert", the saying we all hear "it was meant to be" Here is a story he shared on his post today. 

" A man, because he couldn't figure out how to say no to the request, reluctantly loaned a set of silver serving spoons to his neighbor. They were returned along with a shiny silver teaspoon. 

"I lent you only 2 serving spoons. Why are you giving me this teaspoon as well?"

"Apparently, one of the spoons was pregnant and, in the course of the night, it gave birth. I figure that this rightfully belongs to you."

A few weeks later, the request to borrow a bronze platter was made. With less hesitance than previously, the loan was made. The platter was returned, along with a saucer and with a similar explanation of how it came to be.

When the request to borrow candlesticks came, the loan was instantaneous.

A week later, the borrower came empty-handed explaining that the candlesticks had died in the night.

What could the man say?

So it is with my life. Why do I only accept the things that I like as being the way they are supposed to be?

This week's spiritual advice: 

Contemplate our egocentricity with regard to the unfolding of reality. "

{B’shert, (Yiddish: באַשערט), is a Yiddish word that means “destiny”.

Predestination VS Empowerment - The Wheel of Fortune

Random or predestination is not something I don't believe in. Fate or chance is not the way I see things pertaining to my life. I am of the opinion that we make our own 'destiny ' in that I alone control what I choose to do with my life, and I make my own decisions.

We've all heard the old adages and cliches about destiny, but for me it is more helpful for me to concentrate on living in the present, understanding what I can or cannot control. Having a grateful attitude I can move forward and be happy. I can change and empower myself, so I am prepared for the what life has in store.

The Wheel of Fortune is the card I drew today. It makes me reflect on life, and how we all sometimes feel tossed on the sometimes calm or stormy seas. We wonder, " How the heck did I get here?, and where are we going to end up? There really is no firm or known answer to this question, but we can try to prepare ourselves, as best we can, not allowing fear of the future, or worry about the past  just prevents us from living life fully, in the present. This does not mean  I have no thought or concern for either the past or present, but I need to see it in a balance perspective, learning from the past, and being positive about the future, to enable constructive change and empowerment.

My hope, and prayer is that the decisions I make, and what I decide to do with my life, is and will be, in sync with what the God of my understanding knows what my future holds, and what changes lie ahead, whether these be 'good' or 'bad'.

 Regardless of which way the Wheel of Fortune turns, I want, and need to believe that it will bring growth. and a new phase in my life.

*I have an addendum to this post, as I started it yesterday and I didn't get to finish it. I had to go to town pay make a partial mortgage payment. I could not afford to  the whole remaining amount left, $297. Little did I know what was waiting for me. One of the loans officers saw me in line and we exchanged greetings, then disappeared. She came back out and showed me a note that she had written, and told me this is what was the remaining balance owing on my mortgage. It was 179$! I just about passed out, I stood there stunned not daring to think of the immediate possibility of actually being able to pay off my mortgage right there and then! I finally got up to the teller and showed her the note. She double checked it and everything was in order. I knew I had a share of what I thought was approximately $150 as I am a member of this local Credit Union. My immediate thought was to withdraw that and put to toward my remaining payment. The teller then informed me it was actually $240! Holy Magoly. So, I applied this to the $179 and withdrew the rest and closed that mortgage account! I was stunned with the realization that this had happened and I no longer had a mortgage! Free at last, free at last! Good God Almighty, free at last!

What a feeling! Talk about the Wheel of Fortune, and feeling empowered! I ran off to the grocery store got myself a good order of grub, even picked up a whole chicken,  and a whole flat of eggs, which I have been able to do for a long time!

After paying at the counter in the grocery store, which is a little mum and pop place with great deals, I had two boxes to carry out to the car, and a lovely young gentleman who didn't work there, offered to help me carry out the boxes. What a lovely day. The Wheel of Fortune turned for me the right way yesterday and I am so grateful for the big and the little blessings. The best Christmas present ever! I am more than ready for growth and that new phase of life!

This is my house in the middle, my little piece of Paradise.