Ace of Pentacles - Winter Blues Vs Spring Fever

Poseidon the fertility god, is embodied in the The Ace of Pentacles. He's the Earth Mother's main squeeze,  the general manager, and lord of the universe. He makes things happen, and shakes things up, with new creative visions, and material creation, and achievement.
This card  also indicates scratch, moola, cash, or some kind of material  success, and that growth is on it's way.

I know I have been fighting the Winter Blues, coupled with my fear of financial insecurity as an artist, because there are always more expenses in Winter, and being an artist is not such a lucrative profession, unless you are an artist like Damien Hirst. But Winter really is soon going to be over, and being the end of month, I finally got some dough, which certainly is a welcome site in my mail box. Happily, am now finding my art blog is at long last, starting to make me a little money that is trickling in, which is very promising, after working diligently at it, for 7 years.

I was so grateful this morning to see my neighbour plowing my long lane out again, after another storm  from yesterday. I was so happy to see him, because after what for me was such a very long month, in spite of it being the shortest month of the year, I am going to be able to get to town tomorrow.

I put some much needed transmission fluid into my car this morning, that I bought yesterday at the store. I call my car Margret. She stopped doing the 'The Shake' and seems to be behaving in a respectful manner again, for now. The old gal has a some high mileage, so I don't have any unrealistic expectations of her.

 Not much wonder I have been feeling shack wacky. When I got out on the road very early yesterday to go to the local country store, before another storm arrived, it was then I realized I hadn't been able get out of the house, just to the store in Advocate, since February 4th. I mean, I could go outside, but with the frigid temperatures and storms, I wasn't going out to frolic in the snow and risk nostricles! The shortest month was beginning to feel like the very longest, but Spring is just 22 days away!

The Ace of Pentacles has an very hopeful, positive message for me today. Something has shifted, and that I can actualize the promises of creative vision, material creation, and achievement.
My thoughts are no longer of Winter Blues but of Spring Fever!

Wild Flowers- Egg Tempera, Catherine Meyers

I Found My Inner Empress at the Paradise Restaurant

I am back to feeling like the goddess that I am. This is what the Empress message is, for me today. I went through a test, and I passed. Whew it was a rough one.
The Empress I think is a little like Eve, before the 'Fall'. She may be tested and tempted, but the Empress unlike Eve, doesn't Fall, though she does have her shadow side like we all do, she is full of practical wisdom, full of love, and creative imagination. She signifies, reflects and reminds us of both our spiritual and earthly nature.

What do I mean by saying I am a goddess? I don't intend or expect to be worshiped. Though I would to be grateful to have a King to my Queen! But, this is not what I am talking about at all. It is about acknowledging the divine within myself. Knowing, believing, and understanding that I truly am a spiritual being, having a human experience.

We all have the capacity to be divine souls, and even angels, though we may not know, understand, or believe this to be so. I have met many angels in human form, and they do walk among us, seen and unseen.

No one gets through life without experiencing the metaphorical walk through the coals of fire in life. Some walks seem harder, and there is no point in judging another, until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Nor is it useful to compare our difficulty, struggle or pain with others. The acceptance, and willingness to learn, to even embrace, whatever it is we are facing from day to day isn't easy, but it can be done, by drawing on our deep inner resources, in the depth of our divine souls.

I want to tell you about one of the angels I met, and he saved me from myself.
Almost thirty five years ago, I was a young 27 year old young woman and I tragically lost the love of my life, my late husband Bill, that I had been married to only four months. He suffered from brittle diabetes, and paranoid schizophrenia and died at 26.

 I was deeply depressed, and very close to the edge. I wanted my life to end. The thought of how my suicide would devastate my family, I knew I could never take my own my life.  So I drowned my sorrow in booze, and tried to escape into successive, destructive relationships, trying to fill that desperate gaping hole, of loss and loneliness. There was a young man I met one night after leaving a dance at the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design, where this young man and I where were both students. I had been running around in such an emotional mess of despair and chaos. I was at my lowest point in my life.

 As I headed home, walking down the street, he called out to me, saying he liked my red cowboy boots. I didn't know this young man, but we started up a conversation. He was so happy, like a ray of sunshine that had suddenly took away my shadows. We walked and talked, until early morning, when he asked if he could buy me breakfast at an all night diner in downtown Halifax, that many art students would often frequent in the wee hours of the morning. It was such a unique hole in the wall, and ironically it was called, Paradise. It had a rich history dating all the back from the 30s which lasted right into the 80s. Originally the Paradise was the Crouse's Restaurant, considered one of Halifax's finest dining establishments. It wasn't exactly that, when I was there, but it certainly was a memorable experience every time you went, and the breakfast was wonderful that special morning, with all the fixins.

After the Crouse's Restaurant closed, it changed ownership, becoming Mader's, and I've included the menu ( lots of fish), even fresh moose steak! It is actually quite similar to the Paradise menu. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any photos of the Paradise, which was first opened in the 60s. I'm sure this is when they must have come up with the infamous Fish Dog. It closed shortly after, in the 80s, which sadly, heralded the end of Paradise.

When you walked inside the Paradise, first thing you noticed were two very large, hand painted murals covering each wall, end to end, with Adam and Eve before, and after the fall. They even had the fig leaves over their naughty bits! I always felt good being there. The paintings were hilarious, and made me laugh. It was kind of like nostalgically going back in time.

 Jute boxes adorned each booth, and it had a greasy spoon kind of unique menu. If you were really brave, you could order a Fish Dog! I never was brave enough, cause well, it really just didn't sound right. The waitresses were all characters right out of novel, or from a CODCO skit, most of whom were from very rural parts of Nova Scotia, come to work hard, in the big city.

Eric, the angel and I talked for hours, heart to heart. I cried, he listened, cared and loved me, when I couldn't do that for myself. He made me laugh so hard, I soon forgot my problems, and started to feel so much better. We became good friends after that night for several years, until finally we both left for different parts of the country, and I never saw him again.

 I lost touch with Eric. After looking several times, I have never been able to find him. He's comes to me in dreams, and once I felt so certain that he was in Halifax, but I never got to find out if he was, as I was living in another city by then. I think of him often, and wished I could find him to thank him for saving me from myself, when I did not believe, know or understand, that I am a spiritual being, having a human experience. Eric helped me to see this, and I am so grateful to him for being my angel.

I still wear those old 35 year old red cowboy boots, that I bought in Toronto, where I first met my late husband Bill, the angel who watches over me now.

My Old Boots - Catherine Meyers

We Are All Worm Poo - Four of Swords

This morning my frustrations caused me to ask a specific question before I drew my daily card. I was feeling impatient. I was wanting the answer to my question to, what I wanted to hear. 

The Creator has a sense of humour.. We might not appreciate that, but it's true, and this is a good reminder, to wear the world as a loose garment, not to take ourselves too seriously or allowing ourselves to be too bothered by what is happening in our own lives, getting our underwear in a big knot.

It is my experience that, if can only focus on being truly grateful, this keeps me humble.
This sounds a lot easier than it is. It takes practice, soul practice I'll call it.

I always remember one of those life changing kind of books I read, The Spirituality of Imperfection by
Kurtz and Ketcham. Ernie Kurtz relayed a story about the root of the words humour, humility, and human. The root of each word is humus, which means worm poo. This made me laugh. It has always really helped me to remember these three words, and to keep them at the forefront of my mind. Applying these words to myself helps me to accept life, on life's terms, which has become my way of living, and as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said:

 And so again today I drew the Four of Wands, twice in one week, with the same message, don't get your underwear in a knot. I smiled and had a little chuckle, and just got on with my day.

Strength - "Learn to live in the springtime of life."

Oh boy God give me strength, is definitely my prayer today! Without going into personal details, it's been a difficult week. I certainly have faith my prayers are being answered, but oh not fast enough! But I don't have control over that as much as I wished I did. Like my grade nine Geography used to say under her breath, before we completely drove her over the edge. "Patience is a virtue."

We had more snow this morning, the power went out again today for two hours, and tonight it is going down to a freakin' freezin' yer grannie's preserves, -36. I'm grateful the power didn't go down when it was starting to get dark, cause I am running out of candles! One nerve left a old man Winter, and you're on it!

Meantime, I decided, during the two hours without power, I would study my personal reading, that I did yesterday for myself. I carefully went through  each card with my Mythic Tarot workbook to connect the dots. I had just scratched the surface with my intuitive reading, but was on the right track.

Today I was really in need of some guts. Or if you prefer intestinal fortitude, strength. After close reflection and study of each card in my personal reading, I found it to be extremely strengthening and empowering. Not that is surprises me, because the cards always give me strength, but it was pretty darned amazing. My reading has helped me a lot. It clarified things, and will give me strength to get through the next few days, and it can all really can be summed up in the Strength card, that I have drawn today. The Strength card urges me to have courage, strength, and self-discipline in order to be successful, and to get to a place of transformation, within the next three to six months. I have work to do, a little at a time, which is a good thing, because it would be easy for me to get overwhelmed, and self-sabotage.

We all have our own road to walk , and I want to think it is a road where it is always springtime.
In my book of Sutras,  I wrote this down from one of my daily readings books, Twenty -Four Hours For Everyone. I don't know who said it originally, but I love it.

" Learn to live in the springtime of life"

The Red Road - Catherine Meyers

Intuition Is Your Soul

I am really working at developing my ability to do readings by way of my intuition. I have been studying the Tarot for going on nine years now. I was never interested in memorizing each individual card. This is not what makes the good Tarot reader, and is a very boring way to learn about Tarot. Besides, my memory has never been my strong point, and memorization is not learning.

Learning how to develop a relationship with the cards is the best way for me to grow, and develop confidence, as a reader. This is why I draw a card everyday and study it. I become more familiar with each card, and each time I draw the same card,  I see it from a different and deeper perspective. Repetition is the way to learn a skill. It's all about the practice.

It is important to challenge myself in ways that I would describe as being adventurous, that takes me out of my comfort zone, kind of like without a safety net, in that I am not relying so much on my workbooks or what I have studied.

Over the past nine years of learning about Tarot I have tried hard to use my intuition when doing readings, combined with what I have learned through study. I am now feeling I do not have to rely so much on the basic knowledge I have learned in hard copy, through my study, because it has become more internalized, and I can now begin to increase, and use the gift of intuition to interpret the cards. Everyone has this gift. It is not some sort of gnosis that only a select few have. We can all can develop intuition if we trust it. The more we trust our intuitive abilities, the stronger it grows.

Today I decided I would do a reading for myself, the Celtic Cross, completely intuitively. I wrote my the cards down, and each interpretation into my Tarot journal for future reference. I was specific in my question and I got specific answers. It isn't always easy to do a reading for yourself because sometimes it may be difficult to be objective, but I think if you can be objective, it is a great way to practice. I felt good about how a read for myself, as I think my intuitive reading was pretty accurate. I haven't looked yet at my Mythic Tarot workbook to compare what it says, with my intuitive reading.

Here are the ten cards I drew for the Celtic Cross reading. These interpretations are my immediate impressions of the cards. I'll add some more in depth information tomorrow for my own reference and practice. The reading covers a period up to six months.

1. Significator - Ten of Pentacles
I am thinking and longing for stability within my home life.

 2.Crossing Card - Four of Wands
 I am per-occupied with wanting and needing to find the strengths that Jason's friends brought to help him with his goal on the quest for the Golden Fleece.

3. Crowning Card - Nine of Cups
A card of the emotions, celebrating a relationship with myself

 4. Base of the Matter - Queen of Cups
I drink deeply from the cup of life.

5. Past Influences - Eight of Swords
I have been tormented by trouble and struggles in the recent past.

6. Forthcoming Influences - Nine of Pentacles
There is prosperity ahead. I will reap the rewards and recognition for my effort.

7. Where One Finds Oneself - Two of Wands
There is balance in my creative efforts.

8. View of Others - The Fool
Seen as open, positive and optimistic, taking on the challenges that lie ahead

9. Hopes and Fears -Six of Wands
I want the Golden Fleece. I want to grow, to be confident, and  to find adventure.

10. Final Outcome - Six of Cups
I am nostalgic about the past, I accept what has been, the way things are presently, this is what enables me to move forward

Four of Swords - Contemplation Vs Shack Whackiness

Here's Orestes, sitting peacefully in front of the patterned swords. He's contemplating, and I would love to know what is going through his mind. Having gone through some really tough times lately, he is in serious need of a time out, to recharge his batteries, to get a re-boot and an oil change!
The Four of Swords indicates, it's time for break.

In the Winter, there are many forms of being shack whacky, and simultaneously, if you are going through tough times like Orestes, you have to try and work with what you have, going with the flow, whatever you want to call it, until you can get your mojo workin' again. I think this is the secret to marshaling run away thoughts, and putting some order into the chaos of life, which by the way, with me, exists mostly if not all, in my in my mind. Whether it be through meditation, prayer, creating art, writing, reading, going for a walk, talking to a friend, playing with your cat or whatever works, I say do that!.

Thank goodness Spring is only a month away. Not being a person who partakes in Winter outdoor activities, my natural tendency is to withdraw, and become introspective inside my house, close to the wood stove. So the Four of Swords suits me just fine right now.

I am not talking about just sittin' around contemplating on my belly button lint, and chanting Om. I am talking about taking advantage of the down time, in order to replenish spiritually, through mindfulness, contemplation and prayer, which helps to keep me calm, and focused on the present, regardless of what is happening. Sometimes this is the only thing to do when the weather seems to be the 'big event' that everyone is talking about right now. I don't want to talk about the weather! I have other fish to fry, and this last stretch of Winter is a real good time for withdrawal and contemplation, that supplies inner resources, to carry me forward.

Yesterday I made a commitment to have a show in June, the week of my Birthday, like I did last year. The preparation for this exhibit will help me to really get focused on my art work, knowing I have a timeline and the commitment. Working on this project right now, will also give more order to my thoughts, and to my life, which the Four of Swords speaks about.

When we are going through difficulties, no matter what they are, we instinctively seek a quiet place in order to take inventory, but often we don't recognize how it is important to value this time for reflection, being caught up in the busyness of daily life.

Sometimes it seems easier just to forget about the whole damn mess, because we'd rather not be reminded, or think about of our difficult circumstance. Avoidance and denial may seem to work for a short while, but is really never, a healthy resolution. We have to deal with it sooner of later. This has certainly been my experience. In the dead of Winter, if I don't take some kind of proactive action, it will simply get me more shack whacky than I already am or worse!

When I lived in Yellowknife, North West Territories we would have what is called the Caribou Carnival in the Winter, on the Solstice, when the sun got stronger,q making for longer, brighter days. It was a good thing to bring people out of their isolation, because we really did get cabin fever. This great gathering would get our minds off our problems, brought everyone together for some fun, because fun break with fellowship is a good break too!

I might go outside, and clear the snow off my car, as it is a lovely sunny warmer day with no risk of 'nostricles' this afternoon! I might even shovel and could even enjoy it, but not willingly. I have a hard time 'embracing' Winter, but today I'll give it a try!

*Two hours later I took action! After I wrote the above, I went outside. I dug a narrow path from my lane out to the mailbox, but the spot where the green super mail box is across the road, isn't plowed out, so no mail. I cleared off my car and dug it out. Warmed up the car. Sounds weird and wonky and was shaking. I think I need transmission fluid. I filled my slow leaking tire.
We are getting another Winter mess tomorrow, but I said I didn't want to talk about the weather.

So I feel better for getting outside, but I didn't exactly have fun.
Good news is, the fellow who plows out my lane will be coming after supper.

Tea break!

The Lovers - A Heinz 57 In The Shadow of the Beloved

The sign of Gemini, the twins, and my birth sign, are associated with The Lovers. Love, friendship, and partnership, are all suggested in this card. There is an implied duality of earthly and divine love. I see it as a push and pull tension between the two and having to make a decision.

I reflected today when I drew this card, on how I have always longed and searched all my life, for a relationship with divine love, but truthfully in the past, I was more preoccupied with earthly love. My search for the Divine involved attending Church, with my mother at a young age, which I know now, had planted the seeds of faith. I wasn't so much searching then, not until I hit puberty during my adolescence.

When I was 13, and a very troubled kid, I would often go to find solace, in a big Cathedral church that sat on top of the hill, overlooking the city where my family lived. I could find peace and comfort there. I loved the statues of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and felt a deep connection with her. Today I see why, because of my identification with the goddess.

 I then began to meagerly, explore Zen Buddhism, and soon went on to seriously involve myself with studying Christianity in a formal way at 18. I was soon baptized and confirmed as what is commonly known as an Anglo-Catholic, which has all the bells and smells of Roman Catholicism, minus the belief in the infallibility of the Pope, and a few other differing adherences.

Once I hit 30, I decided I had really always been very drawn to Catholicism, and so I converted, took all the classes, joined a church and became a Roman Catholic, prior to all the sexual abuse issues coming to light within the church. 

After several years of being a Catholic, and around the time I became a member of a 12 step program in the 80s, my ideas surrounding belief, slowly began to evolve, into what I would call less religious, and more spiritual. I came to realize I could no longer be a member of a church that was full of corruption, that embodied abuse, through power and control. I was finding spirituality and fellowship, that was second to none, in the rooms of recovery. I knew this is where I belonged.

At this stage of my life, I have a positive relationship with the Divine, that is about knowing the meaning of the God of my understanding, and feeling a deep sense of serenity, because of that understanding.

I am so blessed to have had a very open minded and loving mother, who never forced her religious beliefs, and let me find my own way. You might say I have been a Heinz 57 religiously.
My mother gently instilled and imparted her faith, gave me a sense of wrong and right, and a belief in God.  I am so very grateful that we were able to share our simple faith in those quiet moments, between mother and daughter, that have stayed close to my heart, all of my life, and always.

Nine of Wands - My Reality Check

The Nine of Wands card is all about the darkest hour just before dawn. It's a difficult experience we all go through at some point or another, and it isn't easy. We can choose one out of two actions, throw our hands up in defeat, hopelessly giving up, or we can give it another effort, and find out because of this, we've come out safely on the other side. We often underestimate the resilience, and reserve strength found within the human spirit, and it is important to remember to keep things in perspective. All is not lost, though it may feel this way.

Yesterday I learned about Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. The Lakota Oglala ( Sioux ) live here in such dire conditions, that it is compared to a third world country, with 90% unemployment, overwhelming poverty, plagued with addiction, gangs, youth suicide, lack of housing and health services.

Here in the Western world we pump money into the 'war effort', waste billions, expediently exploit natural resources and our environment, seemingly hell bent at devastating life itself.

Our governments and big business have conveniently forgotten a very dark history and legacy that has lead to a genocide of a indigenous people, that is so unconscionable, it is beyond our white Anglo-saxon privileged comprehension.

If you ever need a reality check about your problems, remember the Lakota, and other indigenous people, who are struggling ever day, with unimaginable circumstances and burdens.
Also know, that there is strength to be found in weakness, and there is always hope to be found in despair.

Northern Boys - Graphite Pencil, Catherine Meyers

The Empress - The Queen of Nature

I always feel happy to draw the Empress, Demeter the Earth Mother, matriarchal goddess, mother of Persephone. She is a welcome site and gives me the sense, all is right with the world, especially after the big storm this week. This card makes me feel very grateful, hopeful and optimistic for the day, and for the future.

The Empress lightens my heart, and brings thoughts of sunshine, flowers, growing things and the Spring. She has  pomegranates decorated on her dress, and she is obviously carrying a child, signifying her fertile nature, and the creative growth within.

The water flows in the background which is life and spirit affirming symbolizing, flowing feelings and fertility. She wears a necklace with twelve stones, representing the astrological signs, and wearing her crown that represents her as ruler of nature and instinct.

The Empress embraces and cares for the good earth, and she is a creator, encouraging and urging us to do the same and to take good care of the earth and of ourselves, mind, body and spirit. She cares for all vulnerable creatures. Without her we cannot appreciate our physical selves and we are disconnected living only in an intellectual world.

A new creation whatever it is, needs patience and nurturing, in order for it to grow to full term. The Empress symbolically reflects the mothering experience, not necessarily in a physical way, but on an inner level.

Nurturing and caring for ourselves like a mother would, is probably one of the most difficult things for us to do, as women are often much more comfortable mothering, nurturing and caring for others. It is essential that we learn how be a mother or to re-parent ourselves, because if we can not care for ourselves, we not only short change ourselves, we are not able to fully care for or be present to another. We can risk burnout, may become resentful and bitter, because we are constantly giving to others, feeling that we are being taken for granted, revealing the dark side of Demeter.

Wild Woman Singing Over The Bones Egg Tempera, Catherine Meyers 2013

The Chariot - Harmony After The Shit Storm Was A Brewin

On Sunday past we've had a monster shit snow storm here in Nova Scotia, and were without power for about 28 hours, which meant no internet either. Though, I did do my daily draws, and wrote about them in my journal, I haven't been able to post anything, trying to get myself in gear with a big snow hangover.

This morning my good neighbour, God bless his big heart, came down totally unexpectedly with his big honkin' green and yellow chariot with a big front loader bucket, and plowed me out from under mounds and mounds of white stuff. I couldn't see out of my studio windows with the eight foot drifts piled up against the house. It was a doozy of a blizzard with gusting 100 kms winds lasting over 24 hours and into the next day. Lots of folks still haven't any power and some of the roads are still closed in the county, and in the Maritime provinces.

When you go without power in a Winter blizzard, for a length of time, you need to find a way to pace yourself, as the time seems to drag and you get impatient. Not unlike the driver of the Chariot, there is a struggle between the push and pull of opposing forces.On one hand you're stressed and upset, simultaneously you trying to keep calm.

Having a focus when we are faced with a difficult challenge is important, otherwise you'd go a little doolally, and I've had my moments, believe me, but living in the country most folks are prepared to fight the elements, much like Ares, the god of war, but here neighbours do help one another, which I am so grateful for.

Ares has two buddies, Fear (Deimos) and Terror (Phobos). With friends like these, who needs enemies right? Like Ares, some find the strength to challenge the enemies in the storms in life, and this can be a good thing, as long as it doesn't get destructive, because of extreme aggression.

Aphrodite and Ares had a love affair, and each god represents the two emotional spectrums of love and strife. From their relationship a child was born-Harmonia, whose name implies a balance between these two spectrums.

Just as I was about to finish today's post, the internet went down, again, for about two hours.  If I had use of my phone I would have given my internet provider a blast. The Chariot's good message is about gaining control of aggressive instincts, and to move from the immaturity of adolescence into adult maturity, and to know that the best approach to take when dealing with conflict and struggle is with harmony. These challenges can make for a stronger personality, regardless if I am feeling like my underwear is in a knot.

I'll remember and reflect on this post, next time I am facing another shit storm!
In the mean time, Chariot has special meaning to me this morning! It's so wonderful to be able to see out my studio windows, with a clear driveway! I am feeling most harmonious, and even grown up!

Yeii Spirit

Knight of Pentacles - Nectar & Ambrosia

 

With the arrival of Valentine's Day tomorrow, the Knight of Pentacles seems appropriate, on the day before.
I think many women admire this Knight of Pentacles. He is the Aristaeus, known as the " Guardian of the Flocks". The Earth Mother Demeter, fed him nectar and ambrosia as an infant. I can only imagine what that is! He's a real humble farmer, who loves the good earth. He's kind, responsible, steadfast, and always follows through on what he starts.

I'm of the belief most women want more than a country squire, steady and responsible, but that's just my opinion as I spent too long lovin' the bad boys, who never seemed to know how to love me back the way I needed. I have loved the country, Knight of Pentacles type in the past, but got bored after a while. Now a days a well rounded balanced type of individual is my preferred ideal, to admire, and desire. Unfortunately they are hard to find.

More importantly, I need to strive to be that person who could be loved by another, reflecting the personality strengths of all the Knights in my own personality, and being able to have a loving relationship with myself, before I can expect someone else to fulfill the well balanced, desired qualities found in the Knights.


I heard someone say today, Valentine's Day is really not so much those who have the ideal romantic, loving relationship, but for the brokenhearted. In many ways agree with this. Saint Valentine's Day is not about hearts, flowers sentimental schmaltz. Saint Valentine who lived in the 5th century, and there were several of them, was martyred, and very little is really know about him. Fiction seems to supersede fact, and it is actually thought that perhaps Gregory Chaucer may have invented Valentine's Day.

Well regardless, it's hard to resist flowers, chocolate, and love for that matter, and who would want to? So this Valentine's Day I am wishing you much ambrosia, the nectar of the gods. I have no idea what it is but it sure sounds good!

Page of Cups - Facing the Gorgon - Unexpected News

Well I got unexpected news today, as the Page of Cups indicates, of a spiritual nature. Not before going into my anxiety panic attack first. This time it was different. I got real quiet, and mindful within myself. Then I said a prayer. These two actions made the difference for me. My prayers were answered immediately, the anxiety left, once I decided to ignore my panic, and did what I had to do. Don't you wish that could happen all the time? I do think it does, for me, but I don't always take note of it in a real conscious way, until later. What happened today was different, and I know I need to nurture this kind of transitional shift within.

This Page speaks about the gentle stirrings, and nurturing self-care. It is the renewal of self-love and having a general interest in the body, the environment, and a focus on emotional pleasure rather than on pain or  painful memories.

I love all the Pages in the Tarot. They are youthful, possessing innocence, and a purity of heart. They always bring a message for us, because they are messengers and capture the essence of transition.

The Page of Cups will eventually become the truly romantic spirit in the form of the Knight of Cups, who makes the world a better place full of vibrancy and colour.. He will go onto slay the Gorgon Medusa, that butt ugly she-monster, with those snakes comin' out of her head.Ugh, she real scary ugly!

Well I didn't slay the Gorgon today but honestly it almost felt that way because I faced my fear, turned it over, and like Vasalisa The Wise with the doll in her pocket, I listened to the still quiet voice that helped me find my way, and I didn't forget to say my prayers.

Anne Lamott may favourite author wrote a great book, Help, Thanks, Wow. She talks about how these three words are her most frequently said prayers. I realized today they have also become mine.
What are your prayers? Do you listen to that still quiet voice?

Vasalisa The Wise-Egg Tempera, 2012 - Catherine Meyers

The Sun - Transformation

It's lovely to see the sun getting stronger. It's a cold day here in Nova Scotia, and going to warm up tomorrow, a much welcome relief, after trying to get the old wood stove geared up this morning. I felt like I might freeze my granny's preserves!

Psychologically I got warmed up when I drew The Sun, such a positive card, full of powerful energy, in the midst of a Winter deep freeze. I sure can use the positive energy, growth, and contentment, preoccupying my mind these days.

My friend has a business called the Sun, Moon and Stars. I think this is a great name for a gift shop because these celestial bodies go together in the natural order the things. I often can't think of one without the other. They always seem to be grouped together.

 The Bible refers to them in this prediction.. 

 " And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;" - Luke 21:25 from the King James Version
Hmmm sounds about right these days.

The sky is full of story. Everyone interprets and experiences these stories differently. Traditional ancient cultures were are filled with Mythology and stories about the relationship between  the Sun, Moon and Stars, how they affect and effect the universe, and our world. To some, The Star represents Hope, The Moon Dreams and the Sun Happiness. 

These three Marjor Arcana cards, The Star, The Moon and The Sun are in successive order, following one another. 
In the Mythic Tarot the Sun, as Apollo as he plays his harp, it is music to our ears, transforming darkness into light and meaning. We no longer are so fearful; it is replaced with hope, faith, and trust. 
Our personal growth and confidence gives the momentum needed to embark on the exciting adventure of transformation.

Mariposa - Butter Fly Woman - Egg Tempera , 2013 -Catherine Meyers

The Lovers - Yes No Maybe

The past week I've been having dreams about relationships, and simultaneously I've been immersing my thoughts and time spent in self-growth. Self-growth and 'love' relationships is nothing new for me really, been involved with both, most of my life. The love stuff I've not been not successful with by the way, except once, and it is why I have been single most all of my life, but I've been making ongoing progress in the self-growth department over the years.

First thing this morning I heard a magnificent version of Adele's " Rollin' In The Deep " by the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin, that knocked my socks off. It got me thinking, ya, I kind of feel this way about love. I'm not a cynic or jaded and I do believe people fall in love, and stay together. Unfortunately chances are slim and  statistics support that. Then this morning for my daily draw, I picked The Lovers from my Mythic Tarot.

The cup of love symbolizes relationships. and the Lovers card can be a very heady for us, in that when we see it, it can immediately invoke a fluttering of the heart kind with excitement. Like when you first see 'the one'. I've done that more than a couple of times. Those hormones kick in and away we go. We think perhaps there is love on the horizon. And there is, but perhaps not in the way we expect. It's tempting to be in love with love, but that doesn't last realistically. There is so much hype in our culture about falling in love, but not many of us stay together for the long haul, till death do us part.

The Lovers is a card of choice. If we don't have any positive options to choose from, then we choose not to choose, because this is the best decision for us, especially when it comes to relationships. As Bill Shakespeare said in his play, The Taming of The Shrew, 'there is small choice in rotten apples'. To some this may sound rather jaded, but it is really about making the right choice for ourselves, taking responsibility for our own happiness. If we are not happy within ourselves no amount of lovin' can truly bring happiness.

We need maturity, discernment, determination, courage, and spiritual growth to make a relationship work, long before we choose. I need to reflect and consider all these things, and ask myself am I ready? Is this person good and match for me? Can I make compromise and adjust?
I'll keep my answer close to my chest.

King of Swords - When The Student Is Ready The Teacher Will Appear

Truth? I am little intimidated by the King of Swords, or the folks with this personality type. When I really dig into the reason why, I think it is because I immediately begin to compare myself intellectually, and presume I am not on the same intellectual level as this person. Comparing ourselves to others is a basic common human character defect. The more insecure within ourselves, the more we compare.This is not a healthy out look I know, but it's true. It is futile to compare ourselves to another. It will always leave us feeling less than, that we just don't nor can we ever measure up to an unachievable standard, that really is an image that exists in our minds.

The King of Swords can be greatly admired for his creative intellect, and attractive, dynamic leadership qualities, but not so much for his lack of ability to respond to his own emotion, or for considering the feelings of another. He appears to be emotionally cut off, relying on his intellect for success, as opposed to his heart, although his ideals, and sense of fairness are very lofty and well intended.

He appears to be in harmony or perhaps likes harmony in his environment. No one is perfect I know, but he sure can give off that impression, as he is Odysseus, crafty, guileless, known as the Wiley one. Fact is, this King is a wanderer, not rooted is his heart, nor in his relationships. He's not big on empathy and compassion, but is known for his decency and fairness. He's a bit of an enigma and a contradiction. 

We all have contradicting traits. The message here for me is to be aware of these traits, and to be compassionate toward others, and toward myself for these shortcomings, and character defects. No one including myself should be intimidated by another's personality, and I certainly hope no one is intimidated by mine.
There is so much to learn, from people we admire and  love, and sometimes especially from those we do not love or admire, they have much to teach us. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Ace of Wands - Inspiration Vs Motivation

The Ace of Wands is a welcome card this morning, as it is embodies the well spring of creative energy, and is all that individuals can ask for, especially when taking on creative endeavours. Like all Aces, it brings new beginnings with raw energy. Here is abundant growth, imagination, and inspirational vision propelled by that abounding energy.

Indicated in this card, that the goal may be difficult to attain, and has not yet been manifested in reality. Most important though, is that we move forward with confidence, and take the risk, whether we reach our goal or not. There will always be a next time.

Many folks will say, I just can't seem to get inspired, or I need to be inspired to create. Personally I know I don't wait for inspiration. I believe it is always there at the surface. Motivation and inspiration follow not necessarily in this order, but I do need to get started, to keep at it, and follow through.

The bottom line is, I know no one else is going to do it for me. I am the only one responsible for doing the creative work necessary to actualize my creative vision, and I would get nothing accomplished if I waited to get motivated or inspired. That said, I think I was born inspired to be creative, because inspiration comes from the soul, and I am following the creative path to where I want to go. My motivation is more about the discipline to get the work done.

I have read that motivation and inspiration are very different. Motivation is an external  push and inspiration comes from spirit and is an internal pull. I do believe this is true. However I can be inspired to create internally, but it doesn't mean my inspiration will be obviously manifested or apparent, perhaps it's hidden for one reason or another. We can't always feel inspired. This is when motivation can pick up the slack, and is the back up for me to follow through. Ultimately I think inspiration is the catalyst for my motivation.

What inspires and motivates you?

Three of Wands - The Work Ahead

It was my mother's Birthday yesterday. She would have been 103 years old. My mother was my mentor, my inspiration. She had a saying, that she would often repeat to me. " You can only go down so far, before you start to come back up." My mother set a great example for me, of what is means to have inner strength, fortitude, perseverance, and persistence.

 I heard something today from Marie Foleo. She spoke of what her mother use to say. " Everything is figureoutable." This has stayed with me all day.

When we have a dream, and a goal it can be overwhelming, and we can begin to doubt that we are ever going to be able to achieve it. It helps a whole lot to be aware of how to break things down in measurable, realistic, achievable steps, and objectives. Many of us grow up not knowing how to do this, and have to learn it from someone who has been there, and continue learning.

Tonight after drawing the Three of Wands, it became clear to me. It was an affirmation and a confirmation as  being a positive and hopeful card, indicating the initial stages of substantive ideas or project, and the satisfaction that comes with this, but at the same time, it clearly points to the work ahead. The card is a good reminder that the follow through is going to involve  creative confidence at the start, but then creative potential and fulfillment can come to a stand still, if we can't accept and allow for the tests that challenge and stretch our ideas as individuals. We cannot allow ourselves to give up, all because we are feeling overwhelmed and burdened by fear of failure or perhaps fear of success.

This is what life is like, lots of emotional ups and downs, hurdles to jump over, and under. We must find ways to go around, bob and weave. But we need to keep going, keep hands on the plow, and our eyes on the prize. Because I know, understand and believe that everything is figureoutable, and you can only go so far down before you start to come back up. This allows us to negotiate from a position of strength.

The Devil - In The Details

We got off pretty darn good compared to others in the Maritimes, after the great big snow dump yesterday. Some folks got 100cm in a week.
Oh boy, seemed if there was anything that could go wrong this morning, is sure had a good kick at the can. Feeling good now that things worked out, and my good neighbour came, and plowed my driveway. After I shoveled, got myself dug out, and after jumping through a number of hoops, I finally got something to eat around 1:30 p.m. I made myself some bacon and eggs with homemade biscuits and piping hot coffee.  Ahhh what comfort. If you can't take good care of yourself who will?

So I ask, why does all this crap happen? Like Harold Kushner's book, I also ask the question, Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People? Is it the devil? Does God not like me? I don't believe in the Devil the way he is often depicted and thought of traditionally in our Western culture. The Devil nor God have nothing to do with these events. I don't have any pat answers, but you know, life is difficult enough without the darn Devil added to the mix, or blaming God. The Devil is in the details of life and is my monkey brain. . These details can either drive us down into the pit, or make us stronger. Focusing on the positive and being grateful for the simple things brings happiness and lightens our burden.

 I try real hard to remain the eternal optimistic. I have faith in my Creator and in myself. I manage to get through the storms and other irritations of life. Don't get me wrong it isn't easy. Life is not easy. But it is easier accepting life on life's terms, rather than being burdened with a big messy living problem, not having faith..

Often when this card comes up in a reading, people get jittery, full of dread and fear. It is a card about bondage to people, places, and things, that we allow ourselves to be controlled by. If we have hit a bottom and we are sick from these things controlling our lives, mentally, physically, or spiritually, we can choose to reach out for help or we can choose to try and fix the problem using our own willpower. Sometimes this works, some times not, depending on the kind bondage we are in.

Take the disease of alcoholism. Willpower just doesn't work in this situation, nor with any other kind of disease, in thinking that if we simply exercise our willpower, we will be able to overcome our affliction. Try willpower next time you have diarrhea. Good luck with that.