Sunday, February 8, 2015

The Lovers - Yes No Maybe

The past week I've been having dreams about relationships, and simultaneously I've been immersing my thoughts and time spent in self-growth. Self-growth and 'love' relationships is nothing new for me really, been involved with both, most of my life. The love stuff I've not been not successful with by the way, except once, and it is why I have been single most all of my life, but I've been making ongoing progress in the self-growth department over the years.

First thing this morning I heard a magnificent version of Adele's " Rollin' In The Deep " by the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin, that knocked my socks off. It got me thinking, ya, I kind of feel this way about love. I'm not a cynic or jaded and I do believe people fall in love, and stay together. Unfortunately chances are slim and  statistics support that. Then this morning for my daily draw, I picked The Lovers from my Mythic Tarot.

The cup of love symbolizes relationships. and the Lovers card can be a very heady for us, in that when we see it, it can immediately invoke a fluttering of the heart kind with excitement. Like when you first see 'the one'. I've done that more than a couple of times. Those hormones kick in and away we go. We think perhaps there is love on the horizon. And there is, but perhaps not in the way we expect. It's tempting to be in love with love, but that doesn't last realistically. There is so much hype in our culture about falling in love, but not many of us stay together for the long haul, till death do us part.

The Lovers is a card of choice. If we don't have any positive options to choose from, then we choose not to choose, because this is the best decision for us, especially when it comes to relationships. As Bill Shakespeare said in his play, The Taming of The Shrew, 'there is small choice in rotten apples'. To some this may sound rather jaded, but it is really about making the right choice for ourselves, taking responsibility for our own happiness. If we are not happy within ourselves no amount of lovin' can truly bring happiness.

We need maturity, discernment, determination, courage, and spiritual growth to make a relationship work, long before we choose. I need to reflect and consider all these things, and ask myself am I ready? Is this person good and match for me? Can I make compromise and adjust?
I'll keep my answer close to my chest.


thesycamoretree said...

"If we don't have any positive options to choose from, then we choose not to choose, because this is the best decision for us" - If people could catch on to this, there would be a lot less divorce, domestic violence, etc. in the world. If I enter a relationship thinking someone is going to make me "whole," it's doomed already. If I can focus on my mental and emotional health instead, I'll make much better choices. I remember complaining once when I was young about how I seemed to attract certain kinds of guys no matter where I lived. My friend said, "That's because no matter where you go, there you are." Took me a few years to catch on to that! :D

Unknown said...

Ya Bev, I've repeated that same adage about 'no matter where you go there you are' a few times to myself and to others. Problem is I think much of the time, many folks don't no how, or are fearful of being alone. I know women who have never been without a partner, ever, regardless if they are happy are not. But honestly I can barely count on one hand those people I know who are truly happy being with a partner.

You are so right. Two halves don't make a whole. Thanks for you comments! Great stuff!

Ellen said...

Sometimes people who are in a relationship feel more lonely then single people. Now that I am living a single life without the option of a romantic relationship for me this card is about my relationship with me; How to truly be devoted to my wellbeing. I think this is the most important relationship we have and from there we can build other relationships which for me are represented in the Two of Cups.
I consider it as a great gift to have discovered how important loving myself is and how content I am with being with myself

Unknown said..., so true Ellen, and beautifully expressed!