Sunday, September 28, 2014

Two of Cups - Relationship With Your Self

The Two of Cups is about relationship and love.
 I was visiting a friend tonight and when I got back home I drew this card. My friend and I had been having a real heart to heart talk about relationships and being single. We discussed what it is like to be in a bad relationship, that we had stayed in, because we didn't want to be alone. We agreed when you reach the point when you are so miserable with little to no happiness, contentment or peace of mind, it is time to get out.

This scenario makes me think of that jumping off point, many an alcoholic experiences, and that we talk about.You can't live without the booze, and you can't live with it. It's a very desperate state of mind.

It isn't always easy to be alone, but it is far harder to be alone, and lonely in a relationship, that is unhappy, and unhealthy. What I have learned, the hard way, over the years is, there are far worse things than being alone and single. The other important thing I learned, is that I had to have a good relationship with myself, to be happy with who I am, to be comfortable in my own skin, and love myself enough to know, I am the only person responsible for my own happiness; that I deserve to be happy, whether I am in a relationship or on my own, as a single person.

Another person can hopefully add to our happiness, but they can not make us happy.
Here in the Minor Arcana card, the Two of Cups, Eros and Psyche have become whole people within themselves, and they bring this to their relationship. They are complete, and happy individuals, prior to being united as a couple. They don't complete each other, and have their eyes wide open.


Ellen said...

I can so relate to this post. Being alone in a relationship is so devastating. After my husband had to move out, I finally, after saying goodbye to regret and guilt, gradually (it took me six years to recover from my depression) learned first to appreciate and later to love myself wholeheartedly.
It feels so good to know you understand this without having to say more
Ps the two of cups and the Lovers for me are most of the time about selflove

Unknown said...

" the two of cups and the Lovers for me are most of the time about self love " I also find this to be true Ellen.
I remember so well how I felt so alone in my relationships before my own recovery. I am grateful not feel this way any more, especially when I know others have felt the same.

thesycamoretree said...

I think many people convince themselves that "the devil I know is better than the devil I don't know." But what a load of malarky that is! When my mom's husband died unexpectedly, we talked a lot about her loneliness and how she was coping. She told me she decided she was never going to turn down an invitation to do something, whether it was to go out to eat, to a concert, or travel to another country with a group. She's kept that promise to herself, and is one of the happiest person I know. And as a plus, she's met and made some amazing friends along the way!

Unknown said...

So very true Bev!
That's a happy ending with your mum! My mother happily spent her life on her own, from about 53 years age until she died. She was her own heroine, and my great mentor.

Neopagan Priestess said...

Yes, yes and yes - a beautiful post and quote. If we can't love and respect ourselves, no-one else is likely to, either. This is true even if we see the Two of Cups as being about other partnerships, such as in business. People will tread all over you if you don't believe you deserve to be treated with dignity. So glad you have made that jump, Catherine :)

Unknown said...

Thank you NP.
Yes I think especially in business relationships, this can be s real eye opener. I've had a few hard lessons surrounding this area as an artist, before valuing my art as 'work' that is just a worthy as any other job!. We don't get much in the way of the business side of art in art school. The art world is mostly a man's world in spite of the majority of student being women.