The Lovers - " The Age of Loneliness "

The Lovers

Every time this card comes up my heart gives a little flutter immediately followed by a reality check. So many of us are in love with love. We've bought into that romantic ideal that isn't reality based, but comes from the rhetoric and myth making.

Truth being, this card doesn't represent this kind of relationship, but represents and is in reference to companion-ability, respect, and love based on the hard work of being whole interdependent people, not co-dependent. This kind of interdependent relationship is rare.

The Lovers, a Major Arcana card embodies choice, earthly and divine love and reminds me of Psyche and Eros who have been through what is often referred to as being the Dark Night of the Soul and have come out the other side stronger and secure within themselves now having  a relationship built on a solid foundation, because they have chosen to invite into their lives the God of their understanding and they share this in common with one another. We all have the choice to make. I have chosen solitude but not loneliness.

George Monbiot says our society is living in what he calls, " The age of  loneliness. "
It is my experience that if I do not choose to maintain conscious contact with the God of my understanding, the result in my own isolation, loneliness, and unhappiness. If this is what I bring to other relationships I will continue to be lonely, which is some ways is worse in my opinion. We can be alone but not suffer unbearable damaging loneliness. Being involved in relationship with someone who either cannot or will not give you what you want or need is completely crazy making.

The Magician - The Tool Man

The Magician has a load of tools at his disposal, as we all do. It is up to each individual to decide to how and when to use them. It is a balancing act to maintain these tools in my life if I expect to live life in a harmonious way.

Prayer, trust, and persistence I would say are the three tools I have to use on a regular basis. These can all be problematic for me at different times, but I'd have to say the one I struggle with the most is persistence in particular areas of my life. Especially when it comes to physical exercise. I know it is what ties the mind and spirit together, much like the three legged stool, you can not have one without the other. This has caused me to really dig into the reasons why and how our physical selves is perhaps the most important leg of this stool for me.

Being an all or nothing type of person this can directly affect my sense of balance, when it comes to my level of physical fitness, and I know I am not alone in this struggle.

Within the last year I have been reading and re-reading now, my very own copy of a book that was given to me by my good friend, entitled The Heroine's Journey  written by Jungian Maureen Murdock. She has written about this very thing, regarding a woman's reclaiming the sacredness her body, and her instinctual body wisdom, that is such an important issue for so many women, and without understanding, it results in a lack of care and concern for the physical self, the body/spirit split, and the ignoring of her body, discrediting her intuition in favour of her mind.

I perceive the Mythic High Priestess as a counter part of the Magician, in that I see them both symbolizing the reunification of, and connection between, the masculine/feminine nature, and the earthly/spiritual realm. The Magician is about blending earthly passions, spiritual clarity, and is The Fool's guide. The High Priestess is also our spiritual guide, connects us to the mysterious inner world or the unconscious, through wisdom and discernment, revealing the secret to our real purpose and how to get there.

12 Things I Love About Being a Tarot Reader

I unintentionally wrote this blog post differently today. I first completed the post and then drew my Tarot card. It's always the other way round, but I was wanting to get my thoughts down quickly before they completely left me, because I was feeling so great about a Tarot reading experience I had most recently.

The Three of Wands I have only drawn once from my daily card, other than today, and I must say it's the perfect card for my post. It's about laying a good foundation, having come to the initial completion of a creative project, with enthusiasm accompanied by feelings of satisfaction and optimism about the future potential of the project. There's more work ahead, new plans to come, that need to be actualized for the fulfillment of goals and dreams.

If someone had told me only just a few years back, that I would become a Tarot reader, I'd never believed them. We can make our plans but sometimes life has something different in store, that comes as a complete surprise. Whether it be positive or negative, I believe we have to turn the negative into positive, the dark into the light. If we want the positive to happen in our lives, following a passion is essential, and we need to have the commitment to follow our vision, our dreams and goals, come what may, including the dark night of the soul.

 I did a reading for an special individual over the past two days. I felt so good afterwards, that I got thinking about how learning, studying, and finally actively doing Tarot readings, and how it's enriched and changed my life so much over the short period of the past seven years. I thought I'd attempt to get it down in writing in the form of a list, and share this in my blog post.

Regardless of our vocation, I think it's beneficial to sit down and get it into the written word, why you do what you do. It helps me clarify my vision, and to deepen my connection with why I continue as an Tarot reader and as a creative person.

I think vocations mostly choose us, because they come from following a passion. A vocation brings a deep satisfaction and happiness, in being of service to your fellow human beings.  A vocation is not simply work, or a job, it's a higher purpose, a calling if you like.

Here's my list of 12 things I love about being a Tarot reader.

1. I always feel better after doing a reading, often I feel on top of the world, happy and energized.

2. I feel a bond and a connection with the person for whom I'm doing the reading.

3. Like Forrest Gump said about life in the movie, it's the same as Tarot, each reading's ' like a box o' chocolates, you never know what you're goin' get.'

4. I always find that the exchange between myself, and my client is mutually beneficial.We both learn.

5. The level of personal exchange and communication may vary with each client, but I feel very privileged and honoured when  I am asked and trusted to do a reading, as it is opens a shared window into our humanity, and provides a kind of intimate and sacred insight into our life's journey.

6. Becoming a Tarot reader has given be a great sense of purpose to help others, and it is a humbling experience.

7. Tarot reading has become my vocation.

8. Providing Tarot readings enables me to be more empathetic, and compassionate toward others.

9. Studying and reading the Tarot has helped me to understand my relationship with myself, with others, and   with the God of my understanding.

10. Tarot has deepened my faith and clarified my spiritual beliefs.

11. Tarot has helped me to be a better human being.

12. Tarot has enabled me to be more confident, to honour my creativity, intuition, and to believe in myself.

I meant to ask this question to my fellow Tarot  readers and forgot so I am adding this question.

What is it you love about being a Tarot reader? Do you have a list of 12 things you love about being a Tarot reader? 

The Devil Meets The Wolf Woman

This morning I drew The Devil card. I have come to think of, and respond differently to this card. I no longer have the left over religious hang-up and misconception about this mythic figure. Though fortunately I never grew up with the so called "fear of the devil". I am not saying I don't believe there are spiritual dark forces  that can enter our lives in the form of bondage, but these don't have to control us, with a faith in the God of our understanding, a Higher Power, or a greater good in the Universe that is stronger than dark forces..

This card embodies the Greek Mythic god Pan. The impish trickster, rather like a misbehaving youth. He symbolizes the state of being wild, fertile, untamed, half man and half goat. He is not evil, dwells in a cave, and in a inaccessible realm of the unconscious.

I think Pan has much in common with the Wolf Woman, La Loba, the Wild Woman, half woman and half wolf, as she too is very much a wild one, untamed in nature, and in the natural state. She dwells in a den living by instinct and intuition.

On the eve of Summer Solstice is it fitting that I think of Wolf Woman.

The Hanged Man - A Broken Spirit and Contrite Heart

Any of us who have an interest or a passion for Tarot, remembers our first reading. It seems to leave an indelible impression on us either positive or negative or both.  This certainly was very true for me,

When I was first introduced to Tarot, many years ago, the reasons I had for wanting to a reading were pretty serious in retrospect. I was keeping a secret from people and somehow knew in the very marrow of my bones, this situation I found myself in was not going to end well. I was in denial, refused to trust my intuition, and pushed through to it's conclusion , which shook the very foundations of my confidence in the belief my ability to make good choices and right decisions. I no longer believed in myself and felt happiness was forever going to elude me.

My reading did not indicate specifically the answers I was looking for, but not being completely open, and honest with my question, I now see  this was the reason I did not get a lot of specifics.

The one card I remember in my reading that really bothered me at the time, was The Hanged Man. I thought it was ominous and full of dread. However the answer I was looking for was to be found within this card, which urged me to take a step back and distance myself from everyday concerns. Little did I realize at the time how much I needed to do this because my vision was completed obstructed in so many ways.

The most significant message I took away from this reading was from The Hanged Man. The long and the short of it was I was so broken from my circumstance, and in the long run it became my most important life lesson. I had sacrificed so much in just about every way and thought I'd gained nothing, however I was very wrong. I learned so much about myself, how to give of myself but not loose parts of my my soul in the process. My spirit was broken and my heart contrite for the things that I had done, or failed to do. My sacrifice became a gift of strength and insight over time, and I am very grateful.

Many of us don't realized the significance of a reading until weeks months or perhaps even years later. There are answers to our questions in our readings but they may not be clearly visible to us at the time due to our present state of mind. We may be myopic, and lacking insight, because we are so wrapped up in our situational events. This is why it is important to take that step back to do an inventory of the ourselves and what is really going on in our lives.

This card does not turn up for me often in my daily draw, or in readings that I do for others, but when it does, I pay close attention to decipher the meaning and message found within the most paradoxical and mysterious of cards.

 

Summer Solstice - The Goddess

Rachel Brice

The Summer Solstice has long held a special meaning to me, but more so now, many years later. I was married on this day to my soul mate. It will also be Father's Day falling on the same date. Both of these men whom I so loved, and will always love very deeply, left this mortal coil, many years ago, but know I will always feel that bond with them spiritually.

This week I have had such a connection with the High Priestess, and is comforting and strengthening to me in a strange way, considering she is the Queen of the Underworld, which is a scarey place, but this connectedness I've been feeling doesn't come as a surprise to me, reflecting on my past week.

Tonight I came across this video of Rachel Brice, my all time favourite Tribal Belly Dancer. She embodies in her dance my idea of the goddess and The High Priestess. In celebration of The Summer Solstice I am sharing this.

Persephone - Proserpina Come Home To Mama

We have all felt lost, hurt, confused, bewildered, fearful, and even like we have been taken hostage, much the way Persephone felt when she was abducted by Hades, to whom she was bound forever, and taken to the Underworld.

Persephone The High Priestess, Queen of the inner hidden world, keeper of mysterious secrets, reveals herself to us in dreams, and in our unconscious.

Persephone's Earth Mother Demeter, searched desperately for her until finally she punished the earth casting a spell where everything was plunged into snow, cold and darkness, and nothing grew from the earth.

The past few weeks I felt myself glimpsing into that dark world, where Persephone resides three months out of the year. Through a message of the unconscious in a dream, the Ten of Swords and a synchronicity of events, my intuition was working overtime, trying to get the message across to me. As usual, I didn't fully understand until the whole thing was over, but I am feeling much better, and come back to myself with a deeper sense of trusting my intuition, wiser and stronger than ever.

Persephone reminds us that there is a constant coming and going in the depths of our souls, that allows and causes us to grow when we do the shadow work. The High Priestess urges us to pay attention to our feelings, intuition, and to the night-world of dreams, as this is where the natural law is revealed.

In Greek Myth Persephone and her Mother Demeter, are embodied in this mythic story. In Roman myth we find the same story with Proserpina and her Mother Hera.

I heard the beautiful song Proserpina this week, written by the late great Kate McGarrigle which was the last song she wrote before her death. It is only fitting that I post this, sung by her loving daughter, Martha Wainwright. It is both very beautiful, moving and poignant.

Ten of Swords - How The Light Gets In

Here we see Athene the goddess of Justice. She reflects wise judgement, clarity of vision, and the integration of both the light and dark. With her owl always close by or perched on her shoulder, represents the ability to see and hunt in the dark. Athene is emphatically telling the three Furies enough is enough. Oretes is unconscious on the ground, seemingly defeated and spent under a darkened, blackened sky, with the rising of the sun behind the mountain range in the distance.

I remember many years ago seeing Edward Gorey's book, I can't think of the title, but I do recall very vividly one of his illustrations like so many of them, that are a full of dark humour. I think perhaps it might have been in The Inanimate Tragedy. This one particular illustration comes to mind today after drawing the Ten of Swords.

Edward Gorey

The Ten of Swords in the Rider Waite Deck is really dark with a poor bastard dead in the water, having been impaled in the back by those ten swords, and he really looks like he's beyond hope.

Ten of Swords

 None of us get through life without experiencing death, destruction, distraction and maybe even debauchery of some sort.

The Ten of Swords is a card that appears initially a card of despair and hopelessness. It isn't a bleak as it might seem. It is a card of endings, but not without pain, and some suffering. Ya I know that sucks, but as Leonard Cohen says in the lyrics of his song Anthem, "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." This statement is one of hope, in knowing there is no such thing as perfection, and this is a good thing. Things may end, but then they also will begin again. One door closes, another opens. There is darkness, but there is light, hope and love.

This card today speaks loudly,  poignantly, and a little painfully to me today. I really kind of wished it didn't, cause it hurts a little. But for me, it's necessary to embrace pain, live life on life's terms, and it's important for me to have a good sense of humour, even if it is a little dark by times.

Oh sure, I could run away, drive my self to distraction through a variety of means, addiction, perfectionism, and all the other 'isms, but I have already done this for a good part of my life. I know it gets me nowhere fast, and really in the long run, I might as well be one of those tragic inanimate objects, like in Edward Gorey's illustration, because it makes me dead to my feelings, which in the end would only make me less of a human being. This is not freedom.
There are many ways to die, not just physical death. Spiritual death in my opinion is worse than physical death. I choose the hope, light and love of a spiritual life, though I may physically die in the imperfect darkness.

Five of Cups - "When Bad Things Happen To Good People"

Psyche is beside herself, full of sadness. She is desperate and consumed with fear, after breaking her promise to her husband. All the cups have tipped over spilling onto the floor, but there is one cup left standing and there is the light of the moon that guides the way and points to a better way.

Full of regret and remorse over her past actions, reality has now come crashing in, but she is left with something to work toward, if she chooses to take up the challenge now presented. She can decide to make the commitment to a brighter future.

Many years ago, I asked a wise woman the question that is similarly posed in Harold Kushner's book When Bad Things Happen To Good People; why it seems to go, that so many really good people have more than there share of tragedy, and others don't seem have much difficulty in life at all, and behaving very badly. In retrospect,  I don't think life is pain free for anyone, even though from a distance it may appear that certain folks live a charmed, and lucky life


My wise friend, who had been through so much in her life, shared with me, that when people struggle with burdensome problems, and when tragic events happen, it can make them compassionate souls, who have a depth of character, that might be lacking in those who have not experienced difficult events or loss. I think this can be true. I would add that with these events comes knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. Otherwise there is a naivety and perhaps a lack of compassion, understanding and knowledge. It is hard to relate to another if you haven't had a similar experience.

When I am going through some kind of painful circumstance what comforts me is knowing I am not alone, even though it may feel this way, there is always another in the world who has gone through a similar thing, or worse, and if they can share what has happened to them with someone else who is suffering in some way, and shares how they coped, it really helps a lot.

In the end we all have to decide what we need and want to do, in order to cope with these problematic experiences and situations. We decide whether to embrace, resist or run away. Ultimately we can't escape reality without doing some kind of damage to ourselves and or hurting others, especially those we love.

It is tempting to say to ourselves "if only". This results in staying stuck in regret, perhaps remorse, and self-pity. We will never find contentment, happiness or move forward if we choose to stay in the problem. We are only guaranteed to repeat the same mistakes again.  At some point we just have to let go, and take a leap of faith, and have courage.

King of Cups - A Man of Emotion

It has been said, that if you don't deal with your emotions, your emotions will deal with you. I understand this very well, being an alcoholic in recovery for 21 years, because alcoholism is a disease of the emotions.

If you have learned in your family of origin, that expression of difficult emotion is unacceptable, you learn to suppress and then repress the most painful feelings, and if you do this long enough, it can be very toxic in so many ways, and the emotion comes out sideways, affecting health and happiness.

The stiff under lip only leaves you miserable, sick and unattractive.

If the King of Cups could only open up, accept, and verbalize his feelings, life would be much more manageable. Music soothes his soul, and is for him, the language of the heart, but there is nothing that compares to the healing power of emotionally connecting with the verbal expression of words, through language, that is only found within the complex human brain, as we are the only species that speaks language. In other words really speaking the truth from you heart.

When we can describe, and put names to what we are feeling, it helps us to understand ourselves, and puts order into our world. If we can share our burden with another, our problems are lightened. We also give ourselves the opportunity to listen to another's experience, strength, and hope, that can give us a different perspective, to learn, and realize, that we are not alone. Over time and in turn, we can do the same for another, but first we have to save ourselves from ourselves.

Six of Pentacles - What A Wonderful World

Such a lovely card to draw on this beautiful Spring day. I am feeling all is right with the world. I know this might be seem to some as a naive outlook. I am not a Pollyanna, and I honestly don't always feel this way, but I do hold tightly to the belief that our perceptions define our reality, and so I choose to see things in a positive light, much the way children do with innocence, joy, and purity of heart.

Yesterday I spent the day with the two children I mind, who have become such a light, and help me to live in appreciation of the unconditional generousity of the present moment available to me, if I choose to accept and give it to myself, and to others.

The Six of Pentacles is the card of generousity and harmony. The giver of the gift is what is essential to generousity, not the gift of the giver. Some days we are the prince, and other days, the pauper.
  This kind of generousity gives one the sense, that harmony is truly possible within the world, regardless if you are the giver or recipient of the gift, because it is given in the spirit of unconditional love.

I am also reminded of the love that the Creator has for us. It is given freely and unconditionally, not in spite of who and what we are, but because of who and what we are. If we could all aspire to live this way, what a wonderful world it truly would be.

Wheel of Fortune - Love-Go-Round

Yesterday I saw this quote by Marianne Williamson.

" Until seeing someone's darkness, you don't really know who they are. Until forgiving someone's darkness, you don't really know what love is." - Marianne Williamson

This description parallels the Wheel of Fortune, in that we never know what we are going to get, when it comes to life, or love. It is in acceptance where love lies. I am not referring to accepting injustice. But knowing what we can and cannot accept or change, and knowing the difference. Loving means acceptance of the good, bad and the ugly. Acceptance, and forgiveness with detachment does not exclude love, but includes and precisely defines love, in a way that is healthy for all concerned, and brings peace if we make an effort to change what we can. The only person we can truly change is ourselves.

The Emperor - A Blues Man of The Mind

Drawing this card today I immediately thought of how I learned of an man yesterday, who reflects the positive qualities of the Emperor card. I'm certain he would never consider himself an Emperor, but he embodies what I would expect to find in this mythic figure. His name is Dr. Cornell West. He is not an Emperor, but a very fine human being, who has the courage to fight for social justice. Here is a description of what he is, and some of his quotes that might give you an idea of what I am talking about.

He is a lover of music. " I am a jazz man in a world of ideas. "
" I am a blues man of the mind. "

He is a scholar. " Deep education requires a habitual vision of greatness. "

He is an activist. " Justice is what love looks like in public "

He is a servant. " You can't lead the people if you don't love the people. "  "You can't save the people if you don't serve the people. "

Queen of Cups - ' This Is Love Not Fear '

The second Queen that has come up for me this week. The Queen of Cups is a very special one, because she is the Queen who represents the emotional life.

I am no intellectual. I do however have a deep thirst for knowledge, and life long learning, essential to my intellectual intelligence. Because I am person who has a stronger emotional intelligence, rather than intellectual intelligence, my emotional life is of great import to me.

 The workings of the inner life isn't about always wearing my emotion on my sleeve, but being able to know, understand and feel compassion, vulnerability and peace. I believe living a creative life is also manifested through emotional intelligence.

Today I saw this beautiful interview, done by Marie Forleo, with her mentor and Yoga teacher, Colleen Saidman. What she spoke about truly struck a deep a chord within me. I realized what she conveyed, was all that the Queen of Cups embodies and inspires, like the Queen of Cups, 'she allows beauty and sadness to touch her, as she knows this is love not fear.'

Queen of Pentacles - The Strawberry Moon

I think it is fitting to draw the Queen of Pentacles during the Strawberry Moon, or sometimes referred to the Hot Moon or Rose Moon. The Queen being woman with deep connection to the earth and all it's fecundity. She is really represents the Mother of all, or what many refer to as being Mother Earth.

This is the month of my birth, June 4th 1953. I was two days late from being born on the Queen's Jubilee, born the biggest hairy baby in the hospital  at the time, shall we say, with a full head of hair, weighing 12 pounds. I am not so often late any more, as I have decreased my procrastination affliction, my hair is thinning, and I could still stand to loose a few pounds!

I love seeing all the new growth of trees, flowers and everything else that comes to life in the Spring, and the smell of the earth after a rain is intoxicating. Getting my hands and toes into the new earth with all of it's healing properties really lifts the spirits, and always reminds me how I need to stay grounded in the earth, and to do what I must to maintain a stable and healthy lifestyle.

Life is unpredictable and things happen to threaten our sense of security and stability. But if I can live my life as a loose garment, and go with the flow, this is where my sense of security through connection, can reside, built on the firm foundation of faith, and trust in my relationships with myself, with others, and with the God of my understanding.

Sitting Among  Heart Berries - http://www.leahdorion.ca/