Saturday, March 28, 2015

Ace of Cups - I Don't Want To Be Steven Seagal

Getting on an emotional merry-go-round can wear a person out, or may alienate others. It can be very superficial in that emotion that is not tempered with wisdom and insight, can not be sustained and can make for feelings that escalate into despair, and hopelessness. At some point there has to be action taken in order to bring about positive change.

Not every one is comfortable showing emotion or seeing any one else emote. I heard it said many years ago, feelings are just that, feelings not good or bad. Why so many feel compelled to make a judgement about feelings seems a strange thing to do, but I think we all do it at some point. Mostly I think we place this judgement on ourselves.  Why do I feel that way?  I shouldn't feel like that. I wished I felt differently. I'm stupid for feeling this way.  Sound familiar?

The Ace of Cups (Aphrodite) is a force of nature, it's about having your cup overflowing with emotion, and having an outpouring of feelings that well up within, and can't be contained.

It was once explained to me by a therapist that emotions are not something we should get into the habit of suppressing. If we knowingly, and continually suppress our emotion, they eventually become repressed, and we are unaware they even exist in our subconsciousness. She compared this to a old mattress with springs that pop up. We keep pressing them down with our hands and feet. Very quickly we run out of appendages to push them back down, and this repression is what leads to mental health problems or issues with our physical health. This made so much sense to me, and I knew I had to make changes within myself, and in my life.

I learned as a young child, that showing emotion was not acceptable, and so I shut down. I continued on that way into my adolescence and adulthood, until my emotions became deeply repressed. Eventually could no longer control my emotion. This is when I had to seek help and I am grateful everyday of my life that I did.
I heard it said once, ' if you do not deal with your emotions they will deal with you.' As much as a do like Steven Seagal, I don't want to be like him.


Ellen said...

Great post Cath. I wish I could deal with my emotions by myself but for now I chose to use medication as a way of dealing with the deepest wounds. luckily I am still able to feel. Sometimes I wish I would be able to do without but I've tried and failed on several occasions. For now it makes my life so much more joyful. and that's worth a lot to me

Unknown said...

What ever works I say. It really is dangerous when some individuals in recovery groups tell people to throw away their medications. Never a wise decision and very ignorant. This is not something any recovery book or group principles would advise ever.

thesycamoretree said...

We've had people tell others in recovery the same thing, which is completely ludicrous. I tell them that unless they have an MD after their name, they shouldn't make such judgment calls.
I've found myself uncomfortable around others who show a lot of emotion; it is taking time, but I'm gradually learning to sit with these folks instead of trying to fix them!
That Segal chart cracked me up. I remember being shown an emotion chart early in recovery because all I thought I felt was anger. Turned out there was a lot more under that top layer.

Unknown said...

I know just what you are talking about Bev. I don't see a lot of it. But when people do this they are f'n with someone's life. The logic I guess is, well you just need to practice the steps more. Horse crap. It's infuriating. But I'll remember that, what you you said about " unless they have an MD after their name. "

I think most of us as women wished men were more emotional, then when they show tears, it's like oh, oh this is really uncomfortable. That's been my own experience. We all need to take more time to work at this I think, and keep peeling back the onion.

Thanks Bev for your great comment!

Poor Steve he's all man eh?! Lol