Three of Swords - Tarot Readings in Cyber Space

In every suit of threes initial completion is what is represented.  The Three of Swords represents heartache, separation and grief. It's a sorrowful card because of strife, conflict and a painful situation.

This week I spent an afternoon doing a face to face reading. These are always enjoyable and energy expending but energizing at the same time.

I always include the face to face readings with a hard copy emailed reading for my clients future reference, because for those not familiar with Tarot it's a lot of information to take in and it can be like hearing an incomprehensible foreign language to the questioner.

When composing online emailed readings they can be both time consuming, and very rewarding. Then add the combination of computers, WiFi and the Internet this can be very convenient and potentially frustrating. This was very much the case for me this week.

I had the pleasure of doing this sit down reading with my friend, intending to follow up with an email of the reading, other unforeseen and unexpected factors came into play.

After having been called away from home, on what I felt was a bit of a goose chase yesterday and delayed my task by several hours. When I finally returned I set about completing the reading and was ready to send it off into cyber space, when the WiFi, my prehistoric desk top computer and  slow-speed internet connection, all seemed to conspire against me by going on the fritz.

I then decided to use my little Kobo reader to forward the reading, as I can use the internet on this little gadget. Something happened when I hit send on my Kobo, and the reading was gone. Thing was, it wasn't sent, nor was it anywhere to be found in any of my folders. It was simply sucked into the black hole of cyber space.

I proceeded to go into a big heartsick fit. The anxiety and stress I was feeling over this loss felt very palpable, because I had spent a long time carefully interpreting this reading for my friend. Nothing I tried worked, in hopes to retrieve my email. I felt my reading and I where  forever parted, and there was nothing I could do get it back. Of course I wasn't thinking right and was reacting, not responding rationally.

My distress continued to escalate, until I finally managed to get a grip after getting very annoyed at my visceral reaction. At the same time I happened to hear an item on the radio about the British Columbia fires, and how so many had lost everything they owned. Wow I thought, that's real loss. I asked myself, what am I doing getting so bent out of shape over my reading being lost in cyber space?

My really inconsequential loss paled so poignantly to me in comparison, that I was embarrassed by my behaviour and the way I felt and resolved to continue to work on changing this kind of reactionary, very hyper-vigilant behaviour that rears it head now and again, when I let stress get the better of me.

The lesson in this card, is how eventually it's necessary to work out the consequences of our choices over time, and once we do this, we will be relieved and our hearts will be healed.

So calming down I went to bed and knew, I simply would redo the email and send it along, which I did yesterday night, and I was happy and grateful in doing so.

The Star of Hope - How Not to Ruin Your Life

 It's synchronicity that caused me to draw this Major Arcana card, The Star of Hope today. Since I learned of the death of my friend Lillian, I've thought about how death can bring us unexpected inspiration and hope. These are the lessons in the fragility of life, often giving us the deepest sense of meaning that grows out of unhappiness, pain, shame, crisis, depression, and loss.

 Life is full of irony and we can often think that these are unexpected sources of inspiration and personal transformation, but the truth is, they certainly can be. Things aren't always as the appear to be.

 The Star is a card of waiting, which offers hope, urges us to to trust our intuition and to have faith in the midst of difficulties and that there will soon be a dawn.

Life if really about a series of losses, but with loss are also gains, but I believe it depends on our own level of acceptance, grace, and it helps a lot having a really good sense of humour that enables the ability to not take yourself so seriously and can be a powerful healing tool for some.

 J.P Sears has really learned how to do this. Simultaneously he seriously coaches a whole lot of people, helping them to find hope and to understand that pain, shame and broken hearts don't have to ruin our lives.

Listening today to a great program about aging versus ageism, midlife crisis, and transformation I thought the topic this program Out In The Open is aligned with much of the general meaning to be found in The Star.

Five of Wands - The Beast

A card about struggle, the Five of Wands reminds us that we can overcome the struggle that exists, but we don't have to, nor do we need to, struggle alone. Everyone needs some kind of help at some point in our lives and it's important we ask for help but there's nothing easy about asking. It's a humbling experience.

Letting false pride get in the way, only results in our egos becoming the beast, and the struggle with depression  and confusion that Leonard Cohen speaks about plagues and overpowers us. It's the dragon we need to fight against and we're not likely to win that battle if we have a lack of trust in our intuition and instinct, causing us further depression and apathy. At this point we loose our way in confusion, we loose sight of our vision and courage.

The Five of Wands is a hopeful, empowering card if we heed the message it conveys.

Ten of Wands - Discernment Vs Hyper-vigilance

Jason looks to be contemplative, depressed and even bored by those burning wands surrounding him. Perhaps he's feeling upon his return from the big adventure, and having finally laid claim to the much coveted and sought after Golden Fleece, it's all a bit anticlimactic. His harrowing adventure is over, and he's asking himself what now?

Fact is though he's worn himself out. This mammoth undertaking has taken a toll on him in more ways than one, it's affected his friends and his great vessel the Argos, is no longer sea worthy and beyond repair.

We all have moments like this. After we've accomplished goals that have greatly challenged us to a point were perhaps we've wondered if we can overcome all these challenges and knowing we have more to face. There are moments of doubt. We might wonder if we've taken on too much, and sometimes we have. I know I've certainly had times like this, and it can be hard to admit that we need to stop what we're doing and take a different course of action; one that is healthier and results in us being happier.

Getting addicted to a state of hyper-vigilance is not healthy, and only brings a brief happiness, until we can find the next high.
We might feel if we can't have that adrenaline rush that comes from danger or taking on too much, we feel end up feeling bored and depressed.

But I don't think this is boredom. In actual fact, this is just life, and living in the moment where things go quiet, and there are rewards to be found in reflection, or simply to relaxation and taking time out, to get comfortable in our own skin. Go for a long walk outdoors in nature that heals the troubled soul. Listen to our heartbeat and that still quiet voice that can bring discernment.

Strength - Courage - Fortitude

Many of us have days when we feel weak within ourselves emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We can find some guidance and reassurance in the Strength card, that will hopefully enable us to overcome what it is we struggle with life. Strength urges us to respond with our heads and not our hearts, exercising restraint. Courage and fortitude is what will bring about a healing successful outcome. When this 'weakness' continues over long periods of time, we need to reach out for help.

There are many circumstances that can make us feel so over whelmed and vulnerable.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is one of the most common difficulties that can render people seemingly helpless.We can reach the jumping off point. We are afraid to live, afraid to die, and even contemplate suicide as being the only solution.

PTSD is such a common and very misunderstood mental health issue for so many of us, and it can be very difficult to ask for help or find the right kind of counselor.  Many of our loved ones and friends do not understand or know how to help us. Compassion and education is the key, and we need to stop the silence and stigma associated with having mental illness.

I understand this all to well, as I have had many loved ones that suffered with mental illness and I have myself struggled with addiction, depression, anxiety over the years, until I found 12 Step recovery.

I understand that this topic is a heavy one, that many of us rather not talk about, and want to avoid. Silence isolates, and isolation kills.
But there is life affirming hope, and it is vital that we be proactive regarding mental health especially through education, and talking openly with courage and fortitude.

Four of Cups- Discontent

The Four of Cups is the card of discontent and stagnation.

Discontentment can lead to having a jaded attitude, but it can also lead to progress.

 Like our inner critic and like Psyche's ugly sisters portrayed in the Mythic Four of Cups, the voices of doubt, apathy and negativity live within our psyche, because we have found ourselves in a unhappy situation. There is a choice to be made, whether to listen to these negative voices, or choose to listen and trust our inner voice, our intuition, that speaks truth. We have come to realize that we are not happy in our circumstance, whatever it is. It may be that our present relationship is no longer satisfying, we have been let down and are feeling cheated. However the person we may be letting down the most, may very well be ourselves.

The thrill is gone, as B.B. King says in his song. We are board and depressed. There is a need for growth in order to move forward. Unrealistic expectations will always let us down, and we must take responsibility for our own happiness, based on reality, not illusion. Life is too short to spend our life in misery and  unhappiness.

There's is nothing that will make us more miserable and drive us more crazy than expecting or trying to get something from another, who either can not, or will not give you. We are often our own worst enemy.

" We have met the enemy and they are ours. "  - O.H. Perry