Three of Swords - Tarot Readings in Cyber Space

In every suit of threes initial completion is what is represented.  The Three of Swords represents heartache, separation and grief. It's a sorrowful card because of strife, conflict and a painful situation.

This week I spent an afternoon doing a face to face reading. These are always enjoyable and energy expending but energizing at the same time.

I always include the face to face readings with a hard copy emailed reading for my clients future reference, because for those not familiar with Tarot it's a lot of information to take in and it can be like hearing an incomprehensible foreign language to the questioner.

When composing online emailed readings they can be both time consuming, and very rewarding. Then add the combination of computers, WiFi and the Internet this can be very convenient and potentially frustrating. This was very much the case for me this week.

I had the pleasure of doing this sit down reading with my friend, intending to follow up with an email of the reading, other unforeseen and unexpected factors came into play.

After having been called away from home, on what I felt was a bit of a goose chase yesterday and delayed my task by several hours. When I finally returned I set about completing the reading and was ready to send it off into cyber space, when the WiFi, my prehistoric desk top computer and  slow-speed internet connection, all seemed to conspire against me by going on the fritz.

I then decided to use my little Kobo reader to forward the reading, as I can use the internet on this little gadget. Something happened when I hit send on my Kobo, and the reading was gone. Thing was, it wasn't sent, nor was it anywhere to be found in any of my folders. It was simply sucked into the black hole of cyber space.

I proceeded to go into a big heartsick fit. The anxiety and stress I was feeling over this loss felt very palpable, because I had spent a long time carefully interpreting this reading for my friend. Nothing I tried worked, in hopes to retrieve my email. I felt my reading and I where  forever parted, and there was nothing I could do get it back. Of course I wasn't thinking right and was reacting, not responding rationally.

My distress continued to escalate, until I finally managed to get a grip after getting very annoyed at my visceral reaction. At the same time I happened to hear an item on the radio about the British Columbia fires, and how so many had lost everything they owned. Wow I thought, that's real loss. I asked myself, what am I doing getting so bent out of shape over my reading being lost in cyber space?

My really inconsequential loss paled so poignantly to me in comparison, that I was embarrassed by my behaviour and the way I felt and resolved to continue to work on changing this kind of reactionary, very hyper-vigilant behaviour that rears it head now and again, when I let stress get the better of me.

The lesson in this card, is how eventually it's necessary to work out the consequences of our choices over time, and once we do this, we will be relieved and our hearts will be healed.

So calming down I went to bed and knew, I simply would redo the email and send it along, which I did yesterday night, and I was happy and grateful in doing so.

Three of Swords - Recovery

A very disturbing and sorrowful image, is the Three of Swords. Initially you may wonder, what in the heck has gone wrong here? Why in the world has this individual (King Agamemnon) laying in his bath, been impaled by three swords, and he obviously has been murdered. It looks like a very abyssal and hopeless scenario, however this card is about moving beyond pain and suffering. It doesn't mean it won't be painful anymore, but it's about healing.

It is a relief to have everything out in the open, and recovery is not only possible, but has now begun, because the facts have been faced, though still painful, we can find strength, become more compassionate people, having made way for restoration and healing as we are no longer in  that state of paralysis, as embodied in the proceeding Two of Swords.  There is no room for continued resentment. It is a time for forgiveness toward others, and especially toward ourselves.

Our experiences help us to accept and love ourselves as whole people, with strengths and characteristic defects. We are not waiting for someone else to rescue us, and can now begin to learn what it means to become the heroine or hero of our own lives. Resolution is now possible, and the healing begins.

Conflict, Strife, and Sorrow Versus Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, and Hope - Three of Swords

I've been gearing up for the coming year and attempting to clarify what it is I want to accomplish. Goals are very important to me, and have become more so the older I get, and the tangible-measurable objectives that I make in order to achieve the goals I've set.

The actions and reactions based on my decisions of the past, influence the goals I choose today.
The Three of Swords speaks of strife, conflict and sorrow. I've had enough of that in life, and the New Year is a great time to take stock, to take an inventory of the past year; to looking ahead to make the coming year free of negative events and full of positive happenings. This may sound idealistic to some.

I understand  very well, I can't shield myself from all things negative in life, believe me I've tried, and failed miserably. What I can do is change my attitude toward those events of conflict, strife and sorrow. I don't have rose coloured glasses on, nor am I a complete Pollyanna, though I do like her. My outlook these days is somewhere between George Jones and Pollyanna. I think those two would get on quite well.

I have been very blessed in my life to have had the opportunity to learn how to change my attitude and my behaviour. There is nothing too easy about it, but so very worthwhile trying, and then finding you have managed to overcome, and this makes me happy because it increases my self-esteem, and confidence. Mostly what it does, is give me hope for the past present and the future. I do not attribute this to my own wisdom, but to other individuals that have set the example and helped me along my path.

When I was studying Art Education in University, and during my training in as a Youth Care Worker, one of the lessons that helped me immeasurably was learning  how to set goals, and measurable objectives. There is a good acronym that can help me do this. S.M.A.R.T. Smart, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound, are the descriptive adjectives these letters represent.

I think is is essential I put pen to paper, write out my goals, and then describe the objectives that are the action steps I will take, to achieve these goals.

The negative in life allows us know and appreciate the positive. If I can improve, build upon, and focus on the positive, I think this keeps the conflict, strife and sorrow at bay, or at least some what manageable.

Ending on a positive note, I just finished putting my Christmas 'ornies ' away and am ready to embrace New Year and start writing down those goals and objectives today, because there is 'hope for the hopeless!'

Three of Swords - Recovery

The Three of Swords is a card of pain and like all threes in the Tarot deck it signifies completion.The pain has come to the surface, and is a release of energy, so the path is clear to move forward toward recovery and celebration. There is separation and conflict, and indicates an inability to see, because of self-deception and fantasy.

Being sixty one feels great. The blinders are now off and my 'give a shit' has stopped working. The heart ache and pain of the past is behind me, though it still hurts from time to time. Regardless, I am now more comfortable, and confident in my skin, even though life can be problematic, it is a relief to know I can accept,  cope with it and thrive.

 I know I am healing along the continuum. I can care for myself and take responsibility for my own happiness. I now look to the future resolved with optimism. It is a good feeling, as opposed to my younger days, when I felt  insecure and emotionally unhealthy, and most of all, heartbroken.

Presently I am reading the Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock. It is helping me to understand myself and the reason's why I behave the way I do as a woman, and what lead to my heartache and pain. One particular statement I read really struck me, and made me think on a unconscious level from an early age I knew this to be true. This I am certain I have always loved dancing, it somehow connected me with the divine.

" Women access their spirituality through movement and body awareness, so a denial of the body inhibits the heroine's spiritual development. She ignores her intuition and dreams and pursues the safer activities of the mind. "

Three of Swords - In Weakness, Strength

Usually this card conjures up images and feelings of sorrowful heartbreak, and great loss. The idea of having swords piercing the heart is gruesome, and disturbing to say the lest. However, in spite of, and even because of this heartache and loss, we can now heal and choose to thrive, releasing a strength, wisdom and compassion toward others, who are experiencing similar tribulations, because we have known the dark night of the soul.

 It may feel like all is lost and we are overwhelmed by despair and desolation. This is not true, and much can be gained, if we can see what is to be gleaned from heartache, within the depth of our soul. We can develop a strength of character, finding in our weakness, strength. There is a resolution.
 We must take care of ourselves, and the path is being cleared and illuminated, so we can find our way ahead.

 Words by St. John of the Cross; arranged and adapted by Loreena McKennitt

Music by Loreena McKennitt
Upon a darkened night
the flame of love was burning in my breast
And by a lantern bright
I fled my house while all in quiet rest
Shrouded by the night
And by the secret stair I quickly fled
The veil concealed my eyes
while all within lay quiet as the dead
CHORUS
Oh night thou was my guide
of night more loving than the rising sun
Oh night that joined the lover
to the beloved one
transforming each of them into the other
Upon that misty night
in secrecy, beyond such mortal sight
Without a guide or light
than that which burned so deeply in my heart
That fire t'was led me on
and shone more bright than of the midday sun
To where he waited still
it was a place where no one else could come

CHORUS
Within my pounding heart
which kept itself entirely for him
He fell into his sleep
beneath the cedars all my love I gave
From o'er the fortress walls
the wind would his hair against his brow
And with its smoothest hand
caressed my every sense it would allow
CHORUS
I lost myself to him
and laid my face upon my lover's breast
And care and grief grew dim
as in the morning's mist became the light
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
there they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
there they dimmed amongst the lilies fair