King of Cups - My Burnt Potato

Today on my walk in the countryside, the Autumnal fragrances were intoxicating. The woodland, the earth, and the burning wood smoke, made me think of the days when these smells blended with the scent of the horse I'd ride this time of the year. It's was my idea of heaven on earth.

When you burn your potato in the microwave, like I did the other night, that's the end of that potato, but that smell hovers in the air for days, and it's really awful, an experience I'd rather forget, and I'll definitely avoid doing again in the future.

Smell is a sense that resonates deep in the memory of days gone by, of past relationships beginnings and endings. You suddenly find yourself in the present and you wonder what does this all mean? And ask, why am I here in this situation? It can be very confusing.

The sensitive, sympathetic, creative and poetic musician, the wounded healer, King of Cups thinks about this. He's lost emotionally, but more than willing to go above and beyond in extending his kind hand and heart; empathetic toward others, but can't seem to heal his own wounded heart. He's unable to achieve the fulfilling relationship which is so desired. He often loses the very thing he most desires.

The King of Cups never relinquishes control, as he doesn't ultimately trust the world of the unconscious, which he can't see.  He's enthroned in water, but can't submerge himself for fear of drowning, which is a metaphor for one letting go, or surrendering to another.

Many of us feel the same way the King of Cups does, not quite trusting life enough to take it's course, because we've been wounded through personal relationships, often those with parents; and we form relationships where we remain in control, and can't be that deeply hurt again.

By remaining in control, we cheat and short change ourselves. This King of Cups is rather like that old burnt potato in the microwave, burnt, wounded, with little to no purpose. We are unable to find happiness within ourselves, and are unable to be born before we die.

If I didn't Have Your Love - Leonard Cohen

 If the sun would lose its light And we lived an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel That's how it would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the stars were all unpinned And a cold and bitter wind Swallowed up the world without a trace Ah, well that's where I would be What my life would seem to me If I couldn't lift the veil and see your face And if no leaves were on the tree And no water in the sea And the break of day had nothing to reveal That's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the sun would lose its light And we lived in an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel If the sea were sand alone And the flowers made of stone And no one that you hurt could ever heal Well that's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real

Five of Wands - The Beast

A card about struggle, the Five of Wands reminds us that we can overcome the struggle that exists, but we don't have to, nor do we need to, struggle alone. Everyone needs some kind of help at some point in our lives and it's important we ask for help but there's nothing easy about asking. It's a humbling experience.

Letting false pride get in the way, only results in our egos becoming the beast, and the struggle with depression  and confusion that Leonard Cohen speaks about plagues and overpowers us. It's the dragon we need to fight against and we're not likely to win that battle if we have a lack of trust in our intuition and instinct, causing us further depression and apathy. At this point we loose our way in confusion, we loose sight of our vision and courage.

The Five of Wands is a hopeful, empowering card if we heed the message it conveys.

The Sun and Leonard Cohen

Synchronicity lifts my spirits today drawing the Major Arcana card, The Sun and listening to Leonard Cohen's Travelin' Light, from his new release You Want It Darker. I've followed Leonard from his early beginnings and I think this is the quintessential epic work ever, reflecting the kind of insight that is much like what is called "Apollo Longsight", seeing the purpose and reason for his life experiences through hope, faith and with far reaching vision.


 Apollo is a lord of prophecy, music and knowledge, the son of Zeus and Leto, the goddess of Night. Apollo is the image of the power of consciousness to dispel darkness and fear. He is the image of hope and faith.

The radiant sun-god is embodied in this mythic image of Apollo, with his classic, handsome looks, his golden wings, and cradling his lyre.

Music being the expression of the sun-god, it transforms darkness into light and meaning. The laurel wreath that crowns Apollo's head, symbolizes his artistic and athletic achievements, although Leonard aches in the places he used to play, because alas he is not the sun-god  but I sure do idolize him.

 Clarity, optimism and renewed trust, all enable our understanding of the pattern of life and arms us with  foresight, purpose, hope and faith in the striving human spirit,'travelin' light' toward the goal.

Ten of Swords - What Gets You Singin'?

Athene is giving those Furies the finger, telling them that's enough, back off, and has read them the riot act. The Furies have beat this poor bugger down to a pulp, and he appears to be dead in the water, without hope.
The Ten of Swords might look like a card of dread, defeat and victimization. And it a way it is, but there is hope and relief ahead. Oretes unconscious on the ground, is symbolic of a Christ-like kind of figure. Some might see Oretes as being symbolic of a victim.

There exists in this universe a life force for good, that helps us to find inner strength, and enables us to rise above our seemingly hopeless situation. I know this to be true, because I am speaking from personal experience. You don't have to look very far in this world to see examples of such horrendous circumstance that many have overcome. They come out the other side, and not only to lift themselves out of their situation, they will often help others to do the same through their example their own experience of strength and hope that comes from a power greater than themselves, from this life force.

I remember years ago, sitting in a living room with an elder, who I had so much respect for and greatly admired. She had been through so much suffering in her life. She was so strong, full of compassion, wisdom, humility, and gratitude. I put the question to her. Why is it many seem to get through life without suffering, and others get more than their share?

She had no pat answer, but she did share this. She said people who do experience more suffering are often able to experience compassion and empathy toward others, and have a depth of character that is often lacking in the individuals who don't experience this kind of walk in life.

I read the other day a comment the struck me, from another wise and spiritual woman. She stated that the Divine is not found in suffering but is found in joy. I've thought about this, and I asked myself is there joy to be found in suffering? I don't think so. But perhaps there is beauty and hope not because of the suffering itself, but because of what a person believes and how it changes them, and then they begin to can feel joy and the Divine.

I don't have the answers to this, but I know there are many important life lessons to learn through the struggle and heartache that comes with life. I do believe the God of my own understanding comes in through my wounds. We have the opportunity to decide how we respond to those wounds. We either lay down and give up, or we sing a special song, and maybe we even dance till the end of love.

I think Leonard Cohen said it best in his song You Got Me Singing.

Ten of Swords - How The Light Gets In

Here we see Athene the goddess of Justice. She reflects wise judgement, clarity of vision, and the integration of both the light and dark. With her owl always close by or perched on her shoulder, represents the ability to see and hunt in the dark. Athene is emphatically telling the three Furies enough is enough. Oretes is unconscious on the ground, seemingly defeated and spent under a darkened, blackened sky, with the rising of the sun behind the mountain range in the distance.

I remember many years ago seeing Edward Gorey's book, I can't think of the title, but I do recall very vividly one of his illustrations like so many of them, that are a full of dark humour. I think perhaps it might have been in The Inanimate Tragedy. This one particular illustration comes to mind today after drawing the Ten of Swords.

Edward Gorey

The Ten of Swords in the Rider Waite Deck is really dark with a poor bastard dead in the water, having been impaled in the back by those ten swords, and he really looks like he's beyond hope.

Ten of Swords

 None of us get through life without experiencing death, destruction, distraction and maybe even debauchery of some sort.

The Ten of Swords is a card that appears initially a card of despair and hopelessness. It isn't a bleak as it might seem. It is a card of endings, but not without pain, and some suffering. Ya I know that sucks, but as Leonard Cohen says in the lyrics of his song Anthem, "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." This statement is one of hope, in knowing there is no such thing as perfection, and this is a good thing. Things may end, but then they also will begin again. One door closes, another opens. There is darkness, but there is light, hope and love.

This card today speaks loudly,  poignantly, and a little painfully to me today. I really kind of wished it didn't, cause it hurts a little. But for me, it's necessary to embrace pain, live life on life's terms, and it's important for me to have a good sense of humour, even if it is a little dark by times.

Oh sure, I could run away, drive my self to distraction through a variety of means, addiction, perfectionism, and all the other 'isms, but I have already done this for a good part of my life. I know it gets me nowhere fast, and really in the long run, I might as well be one of those tragic inanimate objects, like in Edward Gorey's illustration, because it makes me dead to my feelings, which in the end would only make me less of a human being. This is not freedom.
There are many ways to die, not just physical death. Spiritual death in my opinion is worse than physical death. I choose the hope, light and love of a spiritual life, though I may physically die in the imperfect darkness.

Ace of Wands - Creative Vision & Imagination

Well this it the card for me today. Here he is, Zeus, the King of the Gods, with the Golden Fleece over his shoulder, and his great big wand! Wands are the suit of action and energy, signifying growth. He embodies the symbol of creative vision, and the power of the imagination within us, which sometimes, we just can't quite seem to grasp. I have learned that I must trust that creative power, and take risks with new ideas, and embark upon the great journey into the world of creative vision and imagination.

Only one problem, motivation is a factor when it comes to " gettin' at it and to it ". That's me today. Letting other issues get in the way, and just plain procrastination. All creatives struggle with this periodically.
The more you talk about it the less you do, this is what can happen. Zeus he may be the King of Wands, embodying creative vision and imagination but sometimes I feel like the Queen of procrastination embodying coffee, sloth and loathing!

I have a whole new project start. So I'd better shut up and get to it, and at it, " so the day does not go down in debt. " as Leonard Cohen said.