King of Cups - "Light at the Edge of the World"

 The King of Cups, (Orpheus) represents the authority that calms turbulent waters through creativity, compassion and empathy of the healing doctor, counsellor and priest.
 
This King  is one of my favourite  of the court cards because of what the King of Cups represents. I would say he embodies the very best of qualities and personality characteristics a human being can ever possess and exhibit.

The ideal of perfection and wisdom in another for me, comes the closest, when I think of the Canadian anthropologist, Dr.Wade Davis. Every time I hear him speak about the human condition, and how anthropology can provide healing answers to so many of the world's problems, I can't help but wish there were more people like him particularly in positions of political power.

If there were only more of us who comprehended the importance of learning from, accepting and appreciating cultures, what a better world it would be, knowing and understanding that race is a fabricated myth, perpetuated mostly by those concerned more with power and control.

Dr. Wade Davis is a modern day King of Cups in so many ways and poignantly articulates so insight-fully, how human beings are more alike than different, in that we all greatly share and originate from the same genus.

The King of Cups represents the authority that calms turbulent waters through creativity and compassion of the healing doctor and counsellor.

I posted a highlighted link below, to a recent talk Dr. Wade Davis gave on Ideas.

Dr. Wade Davis

King of Cups - Creativity and Compassion

I often draw the King of Cups. There is a implicit message here in this card for me, that until now, I've missed. The two primary words used when describing this card are creativity and compassion, that both have evoked and created a kind of vision quest for me throughout my life.

Over the years my understanding and exploration of how I defined what both of these words meant to me  in relation to myself, to others and to the God of my understanding, began for  at an early age, for reasons that perhaps are not fully revealed to me

I was told as an adult, by an astrologer who read my chart, that it was extremely important for me personally, to find my spiritual purpose in life in order to find a deep happiness. This has certainly been born out and because it has long been my focus, through creativity and compassion, especially toward myself, this greatly helped me to find my purpose, mission, and define my vision for living life.

The road was often not an easy one at all, filled with loss, struggles and temptations, after trying unsuccessfully to fill that hole in the soul, that came with the territory along the path on the journey of self-growth.

In retrospect, I wouldn't change a thing, because these experiences have made me the person I am. Today I continue on the path to creativity and compassion, learning important life lessons along the way, and very gratefully, this has helped me to patch up and heal that hole in my soul, restoring the emotional balance that the King of Cups reflects.

King of Cups - Orpheus

I've heard it said, only the wounded healer can heal and who we find within ourselves.

The representation of water depicted in the King of Cups symbolizes the overt search for relationships to guide and help others.

The Mythic figure of Orpheus is embodied in this card, who was priest, healer, poet, musician and truly, a creative soul. Sadly he seemed destined for unhappiness meeting an untimely end as the wounded healer, having a great compassionate and empathetic heart, toward every living thing and yet couldn't heal the wounds of his own heart. I believe many of us have aspects of this wounded healer embodied in our personality, and we need to learn to heal ourselves.

This kind of individual is often characteristic of the personality in the helping professions, or is simply found among many, whom for what ever reason seem to care for others more than themselves, and can't trust life quite enough to take it's course.

A timely card today, as I think about how difficult it is for many of us to completely trust in the goodness of the Universe when we witness so much suffering all around us, perhaps in the form of broken relationships, either through resentment, or separation through death, leaving us angry, and questioning why. It can be a challenge to find our way back to some kind of emotional stability.

I may no longer be the kind of wounded healer who can't heal all of her wounds, but I do have a wounded faith.

King of Cups - My Burnt Potato

Today on my walk in the countryside, the Autumnal fragrances were intoxicating. The woodland, the earth, and the burning wood smoke, made me think of the days when these smells blended with the scent of the horse I'd ride this time of the year. It's was my idea of heaven on earth.

When you burn your potato in the microwave, like I did the other night, that's the end of that potato, but that smell hovers in the air for days, and it's really awful, an experience I'd rather forget, and I'll definitely avoid doing again in the future.

Smell is a sense that resonates deep in the memory of days gone by, of past relationships beginnings and endings. You suddenly find yourself in the present and you wonder what does this all mean? And ask, why am I here in this situation? It can be very confusing.

The sensitive, sympathetic, creative and poetic musician, the wounded healer, King of Cups thinks about this. He's lost emotionally, but more than willing to go above and beyond in extending his kind hand and heart; empathetic toward others, but can't seem to heal his own wounded heart. He's unable to achieve the fulfilling relationship which is so desired. He often loses the very thing he most desires.

The King of Cups never relinquishes control, as he doesn't ultimately trust the world of the unconscious, which he can't see.  He's enthroned in water, but can't submerge himself for fear of drowning, which is a metaphor for one letting go, or surrendering to another.

Many of us feel the same way the King of Cups does, not quite trusting life enough to take it's course, because we've been wounded through personal relationships, often those with parents; and we form relationships where we remain in control, and can't be that deeply hurt again.

By remaining in control, we cheat and short change ourselves. This King of Cups is rather like that old burnt potato in the microwave, burnt, wounded, with little to no purpose. We are unable to find happiness within ourselves, and are unable to be born before we die.

If I didn't Have Your Love - Leonard Cohen

 If the sun would lose its light And we lived an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel That's how it would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the stars were all unpinned And a cold and bitter wind Swallowed up the world without a trace Ah, well that's where I would be What my life would seem to me If I couldn't lift the veil and see your face And if no leaves were on the tree And no water in the sea And the break of day had nothing to reveal That's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the sun would lose its light And we lived in an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel If the sea were sand alone And the flowers made of stone And no one that you hurt could ever heal Well that's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real

King of Cups - The Ideal Father

The King of Cups is a card of emotional balance. Something that's often hard to find within ourselves.
John Bradshaw once said that 95% of the population is dysfunctional and co-dependent in some way, and the other 5% are in denial.

I remember back in the 80s when I first heard about ACOA Adult Children of Alcoholics and the given description of the behavioral personality characteristics displayed by those who grow up in alcoholic homes. It very accurately described me to a tee and that was just the beginning of my own personal recovery journey.

 I was relieved to learn why it was I'd felt so emotionally imbalanced all my life, and to know I wasn't alone in what I thought was my weirdness. It has hard for me to remember there ever being a time I didn't feel this way, that I didn't belong or that happiness was for everybody else, but it eluded me.

What an incredible relief it was to finally begin to understand why I behaved the way I did, to appreciate, accept and eventually come to love the person I am.

The King of Cups embodies the mythic figure Orpheus the singer. He represents for me the kind of father that most of us envision as being ideal.. He is both priest and healer who seeks to form relationships with others and yet his relationship with himself is lacking in that he doesn't seem to know how to make himself happy. The King of Cups is the image of the Wounded Healer and he is far from perfect.


None of us grow up with an ideal father though it is often easy for us to put them on a pedestal and see them  as perfect, even in the face of abuse, neglect or abandonment in some way.

Forgiveness and acceptance of our fathers as they truly are, comes when we do this not for them, but for ourselves. Then we can begin to love them not in spite of who they are, but because of who they are.

King of Cups - Emotional Balance Versus Desperation

The King of Cups, a perfect card for me to draw this morning, as it's caused me to reflect on emotional balance and the way I behave. In the past, I've been a person who'd panic when it came to certain situations. Don't get me wrong, this can still be my default, and I really hate that feeling.

Physiologically everything I feel can seem like it's speeding up and about to implode. My heart races, blood pressure goes up, breathing becomes shallow, I can't think straight and simultaneously, everything is in a kind of painful slow motion.

 I think my mind's try's to slow down in order to think, but the monkey brain seems to be more powerful. The fight or flight instinct takes over. I still can find myself reacting this way, but with experience comes wisdom and new skills in order to handle seemingly crisis situations with less muddled thought and more clarity and peace of mind.

As a SCUBA diver I know and understand panic is what kills people. Similarly, the same can be said for most, if not all crisis scenarios. For instance getting a call from an intimidating, rude and threatening bill collector might not cause your imminent death, but there are those who suffer from addictions like gambling, that can cause suicidal thoughts or worse because they can't meet their obligations and responsibilities,and might actually act on these thoughts, which is a tragic. They've reached that jumping off point, where they can't live with the addiction, nor live without it. This is the worst kind of desperation.

The King of Cups embodies the kind of individual who is an em-path, who easily demonstrates compassion toward others and is a kind of healer, but doesn't seem to have the ability to help or heal himself. We all have to learn how to help ourselves in order to do this. Most of the time we need to put our false pride aside and reach out for help. Many who are in the helping professions match this kind of personality type, an empathetic counsellor who is the Wounded Healer, with a kind of hole in the soul.

 When we call upon the authority of the King of Cup's, we can calm the turbulent waters of our emotions that carry us away, which leads us to feel like we're out of control, as we're reacting negatively to our panic.

Life experience enable me to reach out for help, to learn how to be proactive in my daily life. After many years, I finally found preventative tools that center me, slow me down, and bring serenity to the core of my being.
Doing a daily reading or meditation, getting enough sleep, exercise, eating well, and generally living a healthy lifestyle all help to draw on that authority of the King of Cups, which can calm the volatile waters of emotion. In turn I can trust life enough to take it's course, and not cheat myself.

King of Cups - The Caring Heart of the Artist

I realize this card it is truly my favourite Court Card. The King of Cups is full of compassion and counseling for others, with the sensitive, wise and caring heart of an artist who was both poet and musician, represented by the Mythic figure Orpheus.

These qualities are so admirable and highly regarded and can be seen as being very positive. The negative aspect is that the King is unable to help himself and is known as the wounded healer. Many in the helping professions tend to crash and burn, because they extend themselves beyond their limits, in order to help others without addressing their own personal issues. I had once experienced this myself years ago as a counselor.

I heard it said that the best way to get your focus off of your own problems is to help someone else. This is often true especially if you are feeling sorry for yourself our full of worry and anxiety about your life. However if your motivation is to do this in order to avoid your own problems, this is not going to work for long and isn't healthy.

Certainly, those who are helpers do have insight into other peoples problems and are initially very good at assisting them in many compassionate ways. However this cannot happen consistently over a long period of time, because the individual will eventually come up against their own struggles and eventually will be unable to ignore them.

The message found within the King of Cups is that taking care of ourselves is an absolute must. If we can't take care of ourselves first, we can't really be there to effectively help others.

King of Cups - A Man of Emotion

It has been said, that if you don't deal with your emotions, your emotions will deal with you. I understand this very well, being an alcoholic in recovery for 21 years, because alcoholism is a disease of the emotions.

If you have learned in your family of origin, that expression of difficult emotion is unacceptable, you learn to suppress and then repress the most painful feelings, and if you do this long enough, it can be very toxic in so many ways, and the emotion comes out sideways, affecting health and happiness.

The stiff under lip only leaves you miserable, sick and unattractive.

If the King of Cups could only open up, accept, and verbalize his feelings, life would be much more manageable. Music soothes his soul, and is for him, the language of the heart, but there is nothing that compares to the healing power of emotionally connecting with the verbal expression of words, through language, that is only found within the complex human brain, as we are the only species that speaks language. In other words really speaking the truth from you heart.

When we can describe, and put names to what we are feeling, it helps us to understand ourselves, and puts order into our world. If we can share our burden with another, our problems are lightened. We also give ourselves the opportunity to listen to another's experience, strength, and hope, that can give us a different perspective, to learn, and realize, that we are not alone. Over time and in turn, we can do the same for another, but first we have to save ourselves from ourselves.

King of Cups - No One Loves The Man Whom He Fears - Aristotle

Having an affinity with the King of Cups and is for me about loving men who are not afraid of relationships or of their own emotion or emotions expressed by others. I also admire women who have the same capacity. That said, I also identify very much with the King of Cups, with being fearful of his emotion and of relationships. I have experienced both kinds states of mind and perceptions, living life accordingly.

When I see this King, I think of the Queen of Cups, who feels and drinks deeply from the cup of life, but unlike her, this King feels deeply, and may want desperately to partake in his feelings, but he holds back in fear of fully participating in relationship with himself, with others, and even with the God of his understanding. He is disconnected from life when it comes to his relationships. He can feel very much alone, in a crowd.

His fear of intimacy is the avoidance pain, however in reality he actually creates for himself, the pain he is trying to avoid at all costs. But the price he pays is great. He has a kind of living problem, or what I call a hole in the soul. Loving another is just to risky.

Until the King of Cups can find a way of uniting and his male and female nature within, he is not a man fully alive. There is still a apart of himself that does he is unable to accept that does not allow room for love. The result is a constant underlining unhappiness, unacknowledged, misunderstood, and unchanged. He lives in a kind of lonely, dark underworld psychologically, that can culminate in mental health problems, such as deep depression , break downs, or even suicide.

He can immerse himself into to his rich creative life for comfort and escape, but for whatever reason he is without the ability to share openly through an intimate relationship, with someone he is willing to trust as a confidant. There is now a fertile environment laid and the antecedent for addictive behaviours that can threaten his very life, mind, body, and soul.

 Addiction is a disease of the emotion, and a living problem. Life is full of hurt and disappointment. Life is also very full of love and joy. If we cannot accept and find a way to cope and accept life on life's terms it is impossible to find happiness within.We cannot experience the love and joy without feeling the weakness of disappointment and pain. This is what gives us our strength and power.

The King of Cups - The Guy With The Big Heart

The King of Cups (Orpheus) is a deep feelin' kinda guy, and he has a very big tender heart. Helping others is what he most values above all. Being both priest like and healer, with a generousity of spirit, people might think they can take advantage of him. They would be very much mistaken, as he is neither unintelligent nor naive. Often folks equate the ability to feel or display deep emotion, particularly in men as weakness. This is not true, it is in fact a strength.

This loving and compassionate King fills his life with creative activities like poetry, music, art, that speak to, and touch the soul. He is open, honest, and wants to help others in what ever way possible. Living life by way of the heart, enables this King to be an example to others, he is a leader for change, making the world a more compassionate place.

He urges us to pay attention to matters of the love and the heart, as it is truly the most important thing in our lives especially, through relationship with ourselves, with others, and with the God of our understanding. We are all interconnected to each other and to the earth.

In Greek mythology, Orpheus is described as being the wounded healer, because he cannot seem to help or heal himself, which is a dichotomy. He is disconnected from himself. Many people who are in the helping professions are the same, but they cannot go on this way, as it is an imbalance, and can lead to burnout or ill health.

At some point I'd like to think that King Orpheus will get himself into recovery of some kind, in order to heal his wounds, so he can be the best kind of healer and priest that can have the kind of intimate relationships he so longs for in his life. This recovery is about making a kind of soul bargain, that Deepak Chopra  speaks of in his book, Path To Love. A soul bargain means we have a trust and faith in things unseen, believing that there is a greater good that loves and cares for us, and that there is a plan. This faith will enable Orpheus to let others into his heart, allowing them to love him, as he loves.

King of Cups - Surrender, Don't Give Up!

The King of Cups is a card I think many of us can relate to, especially creative types. We often use creativity as a way to express our deepest, and sometimes most painful feelings. I know I certainly relate to the wounded healer as the King of Cups, as this card is often referred to as being. This individual helps others with great compassion and empathy, and sensitivity, but can't seen to help or heal himself.

He lacks trust in the unfolding of life, and can not surrender himself to the world of the unconscious. I found myself this way many years back, when I was much younger, working in the human service field with adults and youth. I became moody, and rather unpredictable in my behaviour.

The King of Cups is described as being the greatest musician and poet alive.  He is also a spiritual man, but he is at discord with his emotional life which is held in check. The King of Cups thinks that he must keep his own emotion arms length, when it comes to processing his own feelings in a healthy way, and his difficulty letting things go,though he longs to be in touch with the feeling world, to express his deep emotion, he lives rather vicariously through others, by helping them. But we cannot solve nor should we try to work out our own issues by projecting them on to, or through others, and often we can be unaware we are even doing this.

The King of Cups has real difficulty opening himself up to intimate relationships, for fear of getting hurt. He keeps himself busy with people, places, and things, as a diversion from his feelings.

I read something today that embodies a description of what it means to surrender. 
Surrender is not about giving up... it's about letting go.


I know if I do not acknowledge and surrender to my feelings, especially around sadness, I  carry around an ongoing underlying depression, that I know takes a tole on my health, if not directly, indirectly.

Christmas time is particularly difficult for many, and if we can find a way to openly talk about this, to unburden ourselves, with someone we trust, we can feel better by naming our feelings, and letting them go. Embracing and acknowledging feelings makes it easier to let them go.

King of Cups - Where The Nightingales Sing The Sweetest

Early this morning I had a very vivid, lucid dream, that stayed with me. It caused me to have confused feelings of happiness and sadness. I asked a question of the cards, and then drew the King of Cups, which corresponded with my happy/sad dream.

The sad story of the singer Orpheus who was lonely and unhappy, is embodied in the King of Cups. Orpheus was both priest and healer but was unable to heal his broken heart, and was the wounded healer.  He met with a gruesome revengeful death, at the hands of the jealous Dionysus and was buried by the Muses at the foot of Mount Olympus. There, the nightingales were said to sing more sweetly than anywhere else on earth.

Many of us relate to this wounded healer we can heal others, but can not seem to help ourselves. When the King of Cups is manifested in our own relationships, we find ourselves losing the very thing which we most desire, because we lack the trust in our personal lives, and matters, in the realm of the heart, become rather like a self fulfilling prophecy.

The King of Cups ultimately does not trust the world of the unconscious, which he is unable to see. He is reluctant to submerge himself into the water of emotions, as he fears he will drown if he lets go, and gives his heart to another.

When we ask a question of the cards, we may not like the answer. It is better to know, than to have false hopes or illusion, and it is a good thing to accept the reality we might be dealing with, so we can be better prepared. It is not always easy to accept that our dreams and reality are not always the same thing.

King of Cups - Emotional Intellect

The King of Cups is all about emotional balance, creativity, control, and the unconscious. It is a very clarifying and affirming card for me today, as I can occasionally feel overwhelmed, and confused by emotion.

I have learned through the Mythic Tarot that emotion and feelings are different.  " Emotion is a visceral reaction while and feeling is an active, intelligent faculty of choice. " Feelings need to be in sync with the intellect, and the intellect should be in conjunction with the heart, if we are to be in a balanced state. If we do not control our emotions, they will control us or often come out sideways. This does not mean we repress feelings and sentiment but our emotion and intellect together allow us to have relationships based on temperance, and understanding.

The King of Cups represents having a deep understanding of what it means to actualize our compassion toward  others and toward ourselves. This card encourages us to consider our dealings with others, and how we interact with them.

 Needing to exercise our emotional maturity when others are exhibiting negative energy is an essential strength and skill.

We must be clear about our boundaries, and know what is acceptable, and what is not, on an emotional level. Developing our unconscious and compassion are the skills that will help us to define these boundaries, they create balance and enable us, like the King of Cups, to be the master of our own feelings and to have an emotional intellect.

King of Cups - The Wounded Healer

Synchronicity has caused me to draw the King of Cups today, after having drawn the Queen of Cups yesterday. The Wounded Healer is the best way to describe this King, as he cares and helps so many, but some how is unable to care for, or heal himself.

Like many of us that work in the human service professions, or simply in our everyday lives we can make great allowances for others, and do as much as we can to counsel and or assist them in whatever way we can. This is a wonderful gift to have empathy and compassion toward others.
However there is a problem that arises, when we are not the same way toward ourselves. It leads to burn out, and you can easily be taken advantage of, perhaps because there is a problem with being able to say no. Self-care and taking responsibility for our own happiness is essential, if we are going to be in a position to really help another.

The message is an important one in the King of Cups. It is not healthy to project our problems and unconsciously try to work them out, through others.

We need to be able to trust in our own personal life, so we can have fulfilling relationships.  To do our own healing by seeking help, and doing what is necessary in order to get healthy and happy, is the only way to ensure that one does not cheat the self, otherwise we will do more harm than good, and perhaps lose the very thing we desire.