King of Cups - Creativity and Compassion

I often draw the King of Cups. There is a implicit message here in this card for me, that until now, I've missed. The two primary words used when describing this card are creativity and compassion, that both have evoked and created a kind of vision quest for me throughout my life.

Over the years my understanding and exploration of how I defined what both of these words meant to me  in relation to myself, to others and to the God of my understanding, began for  at an early age, for reasons that perhaps are not fully revealed to me

I was told as an adult, by an astrologer who read my chart, that it was extremely important for me personally, to find my spiritual purpose in life in order to find a deep happiness. This has certainly been born out and because it has long been my focus, through creativity and compassion, especially toward myself, this greatly helped me to find my purpose, mission, and define my vision for living life.

The road was often not an easy one at all, filled with loss, struggles and temptations, after trying unsuccessfully to fill that hole in the soul, that came with the territory along the path on the journey of self-growth.

In retrospect, I wouldn't change a thing, because these experiences have made me the person I am. Today I continue on the path to creativity and compassion, learning important life lessons along the way, and very gratefully, this has helped me to patch up and heal that hole in my soul, restoring the emotional balance that the King of Cups reflects.

King of Cups - My Burnt Potato

Today on my walk in the countryside, the Autumnal fragrances were intoxicating. The woodland, the earth, and the burning wood smoke, made me think of the days when these smells blended with the scent of the horse I'd ride this time of the year. It's was my idea of heaven on earth.

When you burn your potato in the microwave, like I did the other night, that's the end of that potato, but that smell hovers in the air for days, and it's really awful, an experience I'd rather forget, and I'll definitely avoid doing again in the future.

Smell is a sense that resonates deep in the memory of days gone by, of past relationships beginnings and endings. You suddenly find yourself in the present and you wonder what does this all mean? And ask, why am I here in this situation? It can be very confusing.

The sensitive, sympathetic, creative and poetic musician, the wounded healer, King of Cups thinks about this. He's lost emotionally, but more than willing to go above and beyond in extending his kind hand and heart; empathetic toward others, but can't seem to heal his own wounded heart. He's unable to achieve the fulfilling relationship which is so desired. He often loses the very thing he most desires.

The King of Cups never relinquishes control, as he doesn't ultimately trust the world of the unconscious, which he can't see.  He's enthroned in water, but can't submerge himself for fear of drowning, which is a metaphor for one letting go, or surrendering to another.

Many of us feel the same way the King of Cups does, not quite trusting life enough to take it's course, because we've been wounded through personal relationships, often those with parents; and we form relationships where we remain in control, and can't be that deeply hurt again.

By remaining in control, we cheat and short change ourselves. This King of Cups is rather like that old burnt potato in the microwave, burnt, wounded, with little to no purpose. We are unable to find happiness within ourselves, and are unable to be born before we die.

If I didn't Have Your Love - Leonard Cohen

 If the sun would lose its light And we lived an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel That's how it would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the stars were all unpinned And a cold and bitter wind Swallowed up the world without a trace Ah, well that's where I would be What my life would seem to me If I couldn't lift the veil and see your face And if no leaves were on the tree And no water in the sea And the break of day had nothing to reveal That's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real If the sun would lose its light And we lived in an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel If the sea were sand alone And the flowers made of stone And no one that you hurt could ever heal Well that's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real

King of Cups - The Ideal Father

The King of Cups is a card of emotional balance. Something that's often hard to find within ourselves.
John Bradshaw once said that 95% of the population is dysfunctional and co-dependent in some way, and the other 5% are in denial.

I remember back in the 80s when I first heard about ACOA Adult Children of Alcoholics and the given description of the behavioral personality characteristics displayed by those who grow up in alcoholic homes. It very accurately described me to a tee and that was just the beginning of my own personal recovery journey.

 I was relieved to learn why it was I'd felt so emotionally imbalanced all my life, and to know I wasn't alone in what I thought was my weirdness. It has hard for me to remember there ever being a time I didn't feel this way, that I didn't belong or that happiness was for everybody else, but it eluded me.

What an incredible relief it was to finally begin to understand why I behaved the way I did, to appreciate, accept and eventually come to love the person I am.

The King of Cups embodies the mythic figure Orpheus the singer. He represents for me the kind of father that most of us envision as being ideal.. He is both priest and healer who seeks to form relationships with others and yet his relationship with himself is lacking in that he doesn't seem to know how to make himself happy. The King of Cups is the image of the Wounded Healer and he is far from perfect.


None of us grow up with an ideal father though it is often easy for us to put them on a pedestal and see them  as perfect, even in the face of abuse, neglect or abandonment in some way.

Forgiveness and acceptance of our fathers as they truly are, comes when we do this not for them, but for ourselves. Then we can begin to love them not in spite of who they are, but because of who they are.

King of Cups - Emotional Balance Versus Desperation

The King of Cups, a perfect card for me to draw this morning, as it's caused me to reflect on emotional balance and the way I behave. In the past, I've been a person who'd panic when it came to certain situations. Don't get me wrong, this can still be my default, and I really hate that feeling.

Physiologically everything I feel can seem like it's speeding up and about to implode. My heart races, blood pressure goes up, breathing becomes shallow, I can't think straight and simultaneously, everything is in a kind of painful slow motion.

 I think my mind's try's to slow down in order to think, but the monkey brain seems to be more powerful. The fight or flight instinct takes over. I still can find myself reacting this way, but with experience comes wisdom and new skills in order to handle seemingly crisis situations with less muddled thought and more clarity and peace of mind.

As a SCUBA diver I know and understand panic is what kills people. Similarly, the same can be said for most, if not all crisis scenarios. For instance getting a call from an intimidating, rude and threatening bill collector might not cause your imminent death, but there are those who suffer from addictions like gambling, that can cause suicidal thoughts or worse because they can't meet their obligations and responsibilities,and might actually act on these thoughts, which is a tragic. They've reached that jumping off point, where they can't live with the addiction, nor live without it. This is the worst kind of desperation.

The King of Cups embodies the kind of individual who is an em-path, who easily demonstrates compassion toward others and is a kind of healer, but doesn't seem to have the ability to help or heal himself. We all have to learn how to help ourselves in order to do this. Most of the time we need to put our false pride aside and reach out for help. Many who are in the helping professions match this kind of personality type, an empathetic counsellor who is the Wounded Healer, with a kind of hole in the soul.

 When we call upon the authority of the King of Cup's, we can calm the turbulent waters of our emotions that carry us away, which leads us to feel like we're out of control, as we're reacting negatively to our panic.

Life experience enable me to reach out for help, to learn how to be proactive in my daily life. After many years, I finally found preventative tools that center me, slow me down, and bring serenity to the core of my being.
Doing a daily reading or meditation, getting enough sleep, exercise, eating well, and generally living a healthy lifestyle all help to draw on that authority of the King of Cups, which can calm the volatile waters of emotion. In turn I can trust life enough to take it's course, and not cheat myself.

King of Cups - The Caring Heart of the Artist

I realize this card it is truly my favourite Court Card. The King of Cups is full of compassion and counseling for others, with the sensitive, wise and caring heart of an artist who was both poet and musician, represented by the Mythic figure Orpheus.

These qualities are so admirable and highly regarded and can be seen as being very positive. The negative aspect is that the King is unable to help himself and is known as the wounded healer. Many in the helping professions tend to crash and burn, because they extend themselves beyond their limits, in order to help others without addressing their own personal issues. I had once experienced this myself years ago as a counselor.

I heard it said that the best way to get your focus off of your own problems is to help someone else. This is often true especially if you are feeling sorry for yourself our full of worry and anxiety about your life. However if your motivation is to do this in order to avoid your own problems, this is not going to work for long and isn't healthy.

Certainly, those who are helpers do have insight into other peoples problems and are initially very good at assisting them in many compassionate ways. However this cannot happen consistently over a long period of time, because the individual will eventually come up against their own struggles and eventually will be unable to ignore them.

The message found within the King of Cups is that taking care of ourselves is an absolute must. If we can't take care of ourselves first, we can't really be there to effectively help others.

King of Cups - No One Loves The Man Whom He Fears - Aristotle

Having an affinity with the King of Cups and is for me about loving men who are not afraid of relationships or of their own emotion or emotions expressed by others. I also admire women who have the same capacity. That said, I also identify very much with the King of Cups, with being fearful of his emotion and of relationships. I have experienced both kinds states of mind and perceptions, living life accordingly.

When I see this King, I think of the Queen of Cups, who feels and drinks deeply from the cup of life, but unlike her, this King feels deeply, and may want desperately to partake in his feelings, but he holds back in fear of fully participating in relationship with himself, with others, and even with the God of his understanding. He is disconnected from life when it comes to his relationships. He can feel very much alone, in a crowd.

His fear of intimacy is the avoidance pain, however in reality he actually creates for himself, the pain he is trying to avoid at all costs. But the price he pays is great. He has a kind of living problem, or what I call a hole in the soul. Loving another is just to risky.

Until the King of Cups can find a way of uniting and his male and female nature within, he is not a man fully alive. There is still a apart of himself that does he is unable to accept that does not allow room for love. The result is a constant underlining unhappiness, unacknowledged, misunderstood, and unchanged. He lives in a kind of lonely, dark underworld psychologically, that can culminate in mental health problems, such as deep depression , break downs, or even suicide.

He can immerse himself into to his rich creative life for comfort and escape, but for whatever reason he is without the ability to share openly through an intimate relationship, with someone he is willing to trust as a confidant. There is now a fertile environment laid and the antecedent for addictive behaviours that can threaten his very life, mind, body, and soul.

 Addiction is a disease of the emotion, and a living problem. Life is full of hurt and disappointment. Life is also very full of love and joy. If we cannot accept and find a way to cope and accept life on life's terms it is impossible to find happiness within.We cannot experience the love and joy without feeling the weakness of disappointment and pain. This is what gives us our strength and power.

The King of Cups - The Guy With The Big Heart

The King of Cups (Orpheus) is a deep feelin' kinda guy, and he has a very big tender heart. Helping others is what he most values above all. Being both priest like and healer, with a generousity of spirit, people might think they can take advantage of him. They would be very much mistaken, as he is neither unintelligent nor naive. Often folks equate the ability to feel or display deep emotion, particularly in men as weakness. This is not true, it is in fact a strength.

This loving and compassionate King fills his life with creative activities like poetry, music, art, that speak to, and touch the soul. He is open, honest, and wants to help others in what ever way possible. Living life by way of the heart, enables this King to be an example to others, he is a leader for change, making the world a more compassionate place.

He urges us to pay attention to matters of the love and the heart, as it is truly the most important thing in our lives especially, through relationship with ourselves, with others, and with the God of our understanding. We are all interconnected to each other and to the earth.

In Greek mythology, Orpheus is described as being the wounded healer, because he cannot seem to help or heal himself, which is a dichotomy. He is disconnected from himself. Many people who are in the helping professions are the same, but they cannot go on this way, as it is an imbalance, and can lead to burnout or ill health.

At some point I'd like to think that King Orpheus will get himself into recovery of some kind, in order to heal his wounds, so he can be the best kind of healer and priest that can have the kind of intimate relationships he so longs for in his life. This recovery is about making a kind of soul bargain, that Deepak Chopra  speaks of in his book, Path To Love. A soul bargain means we have a trust and faith in things unseen, believing that there is a greater good that loves and cares for us, and that there is a plan. This faith will enable Orpheus to let others into his heart, allowing them to love him, as he loves.

King of Cups - Surrender, Don't Give Up!

The King of Cups is a card I think many of us can relate to, especially creative types. We often use creativity as a way to express our deepest, and sometimes most painful feelings. I know I certainly relate to the wounded healer as the King of Cups, as this card is often referred to as being. This individual helps others with great compassion and empathy, and sensitivity, but can't seen to help or heal himself.

He lacks trust in the unfolding of life, and can not surrender himself to the world of the unconscious. I found myself this way many years back, when I was much younger, working in the human service field with adults and youth. I became moody, and rather unpredictable in my behaviour.

The King of Cups is described as being the greatest musician and poet alive.  He is also a spiritual man, but he is at discord with his emotional life which is held in check. The King of Cups thinks that he must keep his own emotion arms length, when it comes to processing his own feelings in a healthy way, and his difficulty letting things go,though he longs to be in touch with the feeling world, to express his deep emotion, he lives rather vicariously through others, by helping them. But we cannot solve nor should we try to work out our own issues by projecting them on to, or through others, and often we can be unaware we are even doing this.

The King of Cups has real difficulty opening himself up to intimate relationships, for fear of getting hurt. He keeps himself busy with people, places, and things, as a diversion from his feelings.

I read something today that embodies a description of what it means to surrender. 
Surrender is not about giving up... it's about letting go.


I know if I do not acknowledge and surrender to my feelings, especially around sadness, I  carry around an ongoing underlying depression, that I know takes a tole on my health, if not directly, indirectly.

Christmas time is particularly difficult for many, and if we can find a way to openly talk about this, to unburden ourselves, with someone we trust, we can feel better by naming our feelings, and letting them go. Embracing and acknowledging feelings makes it easier to let them go.

The Hierophant - How Faith Can Inspire You To Expect Miracles

The Hierophant is both the teacher, healer, and the wise sage. He offers us a blessing, wisdom and healing. Educated by the Sun god Apollo, and Artemis the Moon god. Chiron is the King of the centaurs because of his great spiritual wisdom, and intuitive knowledge of the Creator's law.

Although Chiron is The Wounded Healer due to his own accidental injury, that he bares eternally because he is immortal, this has enabled him to have great compassion, and understanding for the pain, and suffering of others.

He teaches us to also have compassion  toward ourselves, and urges us to embrace both our humanity, and our divinity. This symbolic divinity is not about any particular religious system of belief, but  finding our own relationship with the God of our understanding, where we embark on our own philosophical and spiritual quest, as this life is not so much for the body, but for the soul.

When I reflect on the meaning of this card, that I have drawn today, what comes to mind, is the reminder of the Hierophant's blessing, I can expect healing miracles of change in my life daily, and in the lives of others, if  have faith.

Entering the world of the spirit or spiritual life, is not a theory, I have to live it. Having the goal of spiritual growth, means I'll never have spiritual perfection, but I can have spiritual progress, and living with an affirmative attitude, I can expect miracles.

King of Cups - Where The Nightingales Sing The Sweetest

Early this morning I had a very vivid, lucid dream, that stayed with me. It caused me to have confused feelings of happiness and sadness. I asked a question of the cards, and then drew the King of Cups, which corresponded with my happy/sad dream.

The sad story of the singer Orpheus who was lonely and unhappy, is embodied in the King of Cups. Orpheus was both priest and healer but was unable to heal his broken heart, and was the wounded healer.  He met with a gruesome revengeful death, at the hands of the jealous Dionysus and was buried by the Muses at the foot of Mount Olympus. There, the nightingales were said to sing more sweetly than anywhere else on earth.

Many of us relate to this wounded healer we can heal others, but can not seem to help ourselves. When the King of Cups is manifested in our own relationships, we find ourselves losing the very thing which we most desire, because we lack the trust in our personal lives, and matters, in the realm of the heart, become rather like a self fulfilling prophecy.

The King of Cups ultimately does not trust the world of the unconscious, which he is unable to see. He is reluctant to submerge himself into the water of emotions, as he fears he will drown if he lets go, and gives his heart to another.

When we ask a question of the cards, we may not like the answer. It is better to know, than to have false hopes or illusion, and it is a good thing to accept the reality we might be dealing with, so we can be better prepared. It is not always easy to accept that our dreams and reality are not always the same thing.

King of Cups - The Wounded Healer

Synchronicity has caused me to draw the King of Cups today, after having drawn the Queen of Cups yesterday. The Wounded Healer is the best way to describe this King, as he cares and helps so many, but some how is unable to care for, or heal himself.

Like many of us that work in the human service professions, or simply in our everyday lives we can make great allowances for others, and do as much as we can to counsel and or assist them in whatever way we can. This is a wonderful gift to have empathy and compassion toward others.
However there is a problem that arises, when we are not the same way toward ourselves. It leads to burn out, and you can easily be taken advantage of, perhaps because there is a problem with being able to say no. Self-care and taking responsibility for our own happiness is essential, if we are going to be in a position to really help another.

The message is an important one in the King of Cups. It is not healthy to project our problems and unconsciously try to work them out, through others.

We need to be able to trust in our own personal life, so we can have fulfilling relationships.  To do our own healing by seeking help, and doing what is necessary in order to get healthy and happy, is the only way to ensure that one does not cheat the self, otherwise we will do more harm than good, and perhaps lose the very thing we desire.

Two of Wands - Courage

I love the Two of Wands in the Mythic Tarot because it speaks of courage, that is imparted to another, represented here by Chiron,  the centaur, half human, half horse, the wounded healer or the teacher. Jason has been told about the Golden Fleece and that he is a prince, and rightly needs to claim his inheritance to the throne.

Chiron

 The adventurer and the beginning of a creative vision is represented here in the Two of Wands and a goal that is believed in, though it is not clear as to how this goal will be achieved. This goal is full of creative potential, depending on the courage of this individual to face the unknown and to put their faith in the invisible creative power.

This is a wonderfully affirming card, spurring and inspiring the individual to come out of the cave so to speak, face the fear and to take hold of the new adventure and bring this new vision into fruition and concrete being.

The Hierophant - The Wounded Healer

The fifth card in the Major Arcana is the Hierophant , the spiritual father, the wise sage, the teacher of wisdom, or is representing the trinity - mind, body and spirit. It also represents religion or orthodox ideas; unconditional mercy and compassion, perhaps toward the self; having a need for approval and conformity and having humility in facing authority.

Many folks have "issues " surrounding authority figures, often for good reason as there has been, or can be abuse of this authority, which often will leave emotional, physical and mental scars. We often become  The Wounded Healer and through our own pain, we can appreciate the pain and suffering of another. This can  result in our choosing a career or vocation as a counselor, doctor, or some kind of worker in the service of others and we are good at it, because we have walked that walk.

That said, the Hierophant represents silence, hearing the voice within and listening to the heart. We  try to understand what the Creator's will for us is, in our lives.
Symbolic of actively seeking answers of a philosophical kind, a study of particular philosophy or belief system or a deep commitment to a quest for the meaning of life manifested in formulating our own vision of spirit which will guide us, leaving childhood behind, and now facing life's challenges.

I have heard it said religion is some else's experience, spirituality is an individual's experience. In the end we must come to terms and find our own values, morals and spiritual beliefs. The Hierophant asks us to do just that through meditation and listening to the still quiet voice within our heart of hearts.

Chiron The Wounded healer