The World - Self-Worth - Transcendence

The World card is the mythic image for both God and nature, embodied in one symbol. We see the four symbols presiding over the realms, water, fire, air and earth which await development in the reborn personality.

Lately I came into some extra money. Actually more money than I've ever had. I'm not referring to winning the lottery kind of money or a big inheritance. But simply talking about reaching the age of 65 years which has resulted in modest pensions and then finally managing to sell some of my land.

This has got me thinking today about economic insecurity. There exists 12 Promises in Alcoholics Anonymous. All of these promises with the exception of one, have all been fulfilled in my life. The one that seemed to elude me, was this promise.

Promise 10
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

I'll tell you I'm not afraid of people so much any more, especially authority figures and bill collectors and my fear of economic insecurity thankfully has definitely subsided. Being able to effectively pay my bills, no longer having to rob Peter to pay Paul, and now actually be able to put money aside into modest savings, let me tell you it's a huge stress relief. 

That said, when reflecting on where fear of economic and financial insecurity originates from, I've learned that it isn't a net worth problem, but a self-worth problem. Understanding this is life changing. I've now begun to free myself from my fear of economic insecurity.

Believing that we're not enough translates into believing that you don't or won't have enough in this world. We are all programed by our parents program of insecurity, that's learned in our early childhood, regardless if we can recall this or not.

Worldly success, freedom and wholeness is attained through spiritual rebirth, not through an accumulation of money, things, fame or an unrealistic image. Although we'll never reach the ideal, found in the last Major Arcana card, The World, as we're imperfect as human beings.

We may glimpse this state when there is inner healing, which provides a resolution of inner peace through the journey of discovery, restoring belief in living awareness of the True Self.

Eight of Cups - Happy May Day

Poor Psyche has her work cut out for her and what lies ahead doesn't appear to give her much hope. She's been given the task of  making the descent into the underworld and acquiring Aphrodite's beauty cream. Now that's a hard job and the pay sucks!


In the late 19th century the first of May (May Day) was chosen as the date for International Workers' Day. It's also an ancient northern hemisphere, traditional spring festival and holiday in many cultures, celebrating fertility with dancing, singing and cake.  

The mythological goddess of flowers was Flora. She played an important role in this celebration, and was representing the most beautiful, delicate and fragrant wild Mayflower.

I'm reminded that we all have our work and tasks to perform, whether we like it or not. It's all part of being a responsible and something we have to accept. But this doesn't mean we have accept enslavement or being a prisoner to our work whatever it may be, especially when it becomes drudgery and making us unhappy.

Thankfully things change and we can change, either our work and/or our attitude. There is a time to work and a time to play. Spring calls for us to shake off the Winter blues and to celebrate Spring and the coming Summer. 

This is what happens to Psyche she comes to a point of acceptance, she lets go and shakes things off. It's only when she does this, that things begin to improve and she can once again celebrate,sing and sing around the May Pole. And don't forget the cake!

Primavera by Botticelli - Flora

Seven of Cups - Flights of Fancy and Castle in the Air

I'm an imaginative person I know that, as a creative. I love stories of emotion, imagination, fantasy and myth that teach life lessons.

The card of the Seven of Cups indicates the combination of faith, emotion, illusion, fantasy and imagination, all qualities that are useful to artists and all human beings. However if we can't balance these with reality, that's when it can become problematic, leading us to deluding ourselves with pipe dreams and good intentions that somehow don't materialize or come to fruition perhaps, we loose our way, running from reality and life, causing a complexity of confusion.

There was a time that I ran from reality through the use and abuse of alcohol, that I became addicted to, and left me unable to distinguish reality from fantasy by times. I thank the God of my understanding I no longer need to live my life this way, and have 24 years of contented sobriety, one day at a time, which was something that did not came easy. It was rather like the tasks presented to Psyche by Aphrodite. Psyche had to work hard at facing the challenge of choosing and acting in realistic terms to make those potentials manifest.

I'm so very grateful I have chosen to live an uncomplicated life, grounded in reality. I get great satisfaction from the simple pleasures from a life of balance, paying attention to what makes me feel openhearted and alive, celebrating and connecting with quality of life, not in quantity, every day in a Hygge kind of way.

Today I celebrated by enjoying my fresh ground French Dark coffee beans for breakfast, some home made whole wheat buns and an Italian Frittata for supper. Perfection!

 My very Hygge cat Rusty is impressed!

Eight of Pentacles - Deal or No Deal?

Eight of Pentacles - Deal or No Deal?

The Eight of Pentacles can be seen as an ongoing theme of accepting change in our daily lives, whatever hand we are dealt, urging us to let go and remain hopeful.

We see Persephone headed down the stairs to the underworld in pursuit of Aphrodite's beauty cream! She's very aware of the likelihood, that she'll not be returning. She's let go and resigned herself to this and accepted this reality, but all is far from lost.

When it comes to loosing hope, there's really no deal. In desperation we might be thinking we can some how guarantee a future reconciliation, but this isn't relinquishing control. Coming to the realization that we can't bully, plead,  or make with deal with the divine or some how blackmail our way into a solution, is a useless exercise.

When we're at this point on our lives , now's the time to take advantage of the opportunity to educate ourselves, and learn the lessons to be found in letting go. We may feel that we've lost everything, but there is much to be gained.

The truth of the situation must be faced. There's nothing else left to do, and there's no way to go, except to let go. This letting go often is accompanied with depression, sadness and morning. If we can proactively engage in the same kind of positive change and transformation we find in the Death card, we'll find a tangible and real hope that we can apply to our lives in a real way.

Letting go will change us by submitting to that which is greater, the will of the divine, the great Goddess of Love which is imaged in the Eight of Pentacles.

The Chariot - Metanoia

I love languages and words. Today I read a great post by a special Rabbi, Brian Meyer, from whom I always learn so much, reading his very insightful and thoughtful blog Religion Outside of The Box. In today's post he explained the meaning of the word Metanoia. There are a number of varying interpretations of the meaning, which is Greek in origin. The meaning I find most appealing is, "a trans-formative change of heart" or "change of mind".

In life we are always facing some kind of decision and but often do need to have a change of mind and heart, asking ourselves questions like, do we go this way or that, is this too much or too little, and sometimes, if not most times it's a real struggle to find our balance.

 I spent the first part of my life out of balance, without enough direction until I came to a crossroads and juncture in the road, where I had to decide which way to go, and to learn how to find balance. The only way I could do this was to make a decision, as a result of a trans-formative change of heart and mind. It didn't happen over night. It was a long process, that wasn't easy.

Driving the chariot is Ares the god of war, embodied in this Major Arcana card. He's, trying to contain the two horses pulling in opposite directions. Ironically Aphrodite, the goddess of love and Ares are very
drawn to one another like ying and yang.

The white and black horses representing the two ends of the spectrum of positive and negative, of good and bad that we all grapple with, and have to find balance in some way, because one cannot exist without the other.

Nine of Cups -- I Make Prayers My Cup Is Full

The great synchronicity in this card the Nine of Cups, The Wish Card that I've drawn today is truly a beautiful thing. Representing fruition, comfort and satisfaction are just a few adjectives I'd use to describe my feelings. Mostly though, I am so very grateful.

 I went back in my journal to see how long it's been since I haven't had water running from my gravity fed Spring into my taps. It's been since October 21st, ten days.

This morning I plugged in my water pump not expecting any water. I have an open hole in my basement  and  when it rains the water table comes up and I'm able to gather up some water for washing, but only if it's rained. It had been raining over the past week and so as I was getting what water I could. I took quick notice that the sound of my pump was different. I immediately went over to look at the gauge and there I could see the needle gauge that had moved, increasing exponentially! Oh my goodness I was overjoyed and could hardly believe it! I flung my hands  and arms up in the air in praise and thanks!

Prior to this grand event I was beginning to let thoughts of worry creep in, wondering how much longer this drought was going to last, as Winter and freeze up is not far away. I was feeling like I was at the end of my rope and at a complete loss in knowing how this was going to be resolved and conclude.

I haven't seen this kind of drought in the 22 years I've lived here, except twice. The second situation was due to 50 below weather that caused an old underground pipe to freeze and bust. Thankfully I won't have that problem again, having the pipes replaced deep in the ground and won't freeze.

It's common for human beings to take what we have for granted. It's only when we're suddenly without or it's gone, that our attitudes change.

Psyche and Eros have come to the same realization, in that they'd almost lost their deep love for one another. Having now established a firm spiritual foundation, they've made the commitment to build upon their relationship, based on this spiritual foundation. Without this awareness that all life is sacred we will not survive.

Water is sacred. Water represents life itself and without it we will not survive.


Make prayers for the life of the rivers
Make prayers for the creeks and the streams
make prayers to the Holy Myst’ry
Make prayers for Earth Mother’s dreams.

Fall down on your knees by the water
Fall down on the muck, sand or slate
Fall down in humility, hope and love
And pray that it’s not too late.

            - Water Walker, Grandmother Josephine Mandamin

The Red Road - Coloured Pencil, Catherine Meyers

Seven of Cups - What's In Your Bank Account?

Psyche is praying to Aphrodite for mercy and for a miracle. She's appealing to the goddess of love to heal her relationship with Eros, to relieve and heal her from her overwhelming emotional burdens.

Often human beings when we find ourselves in desperate circumstances, we end up turning to the God/Goddess of our understanding to zealously plead our case. We can perhaps also expect to be physically healed from illness or relieved from another malady or circumstance.

Miracles come in all kinds of forms. I try to expect them, but much of the time my change in attitude can be just the kind of miracle I really need, though it might not necessarily be what I want, regardless of how unrealistic I am being. I need to understand, and accept what I can or can't change, and figure out the difference between the two.

 Acceptance for me is the key to everything in my life, no matter how difficult the circumstance. That's certainly not to say this is an easy task, not at all, because the things that happen are often very painful, and cause me to be fearful, caused by my lack of faith and trust. At this point I have replaced these with worry, anxiety and unrealistic expectations. It takes a lot of ongoing practice and work, one day at a time, sometimes one minute or second at time to gain faith and spiritual strength.

Realistically, my faith and spiritual strength is contingent on my maintenance of my daily conscious contact with the God of my understanding. I compare it to being rather like a bank account that I make regular deposits to, so I have a resource or emergency fund to rely on when the hard times come.

The Lovers - Trust in Action

In this Major Arcana card The Lovers, we see a potentially very stressful situation were three women are pitted against one another in a kind of competition. Love, Rejection, jealousy, self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence, guilt and even shame would all come into play in this stressful scenario, because Paris the Trojan prince, has been commanded by Zeus to judge a beauty contest between Hera, Aphrodite and Athene who had been quarreling about who was the loveliest. Paris has had a very a stressed life to begin with, because his own father King Priam had sentenced him to death, but fortunately he was rescued by a kind shepherd. The three goddesses and Paris all find themselves in a stress filled circumstance and they all have a choice as to how they are going to respond.

Many of us, myself included I've noticed, can get ourselves feeling stressed when it's really unnecessary, or can be avoided. I believe this is rooted in worry and lack of trust in the midst of chaos and trouble. It can be our default mode, particularly if we have had trauma or difficult home lives growing up. We are used to living in our bodies in state of hyper-vigilance, and are perhaps always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Most of my life and I have had to fight against this, because it robs me of my happiness. That said, I also know reality and life are stressful for everyone in one way or another, and I am no different. I also know a certain amount of stress is normal and the fight or flight instinct in very strong within us.

 I can physiologically feel when my stress level increases, and most times it never feels good. I have to make a conscious concerted effort to change my reaction to that reality, doing whatever it takes in order to remain calm and to prevent stress..


Today I read this statement for a book of daily readings, which  really stood out for me to today. "Calmness is trust in action." I think this statement speaks for itself, and it is a good reminder to try to live this way, everyday.

The Lovers - What Do I Want?

This card typifies a kind of stereotypical beauty contest between the three goddesses, Hera, Athene, and Aphrodite, who were fighting among themselves. Zeus has appointed the reluctant Trojan prince Paris to be the judge of this contest.The Lovers card is symbolic of the problem of making a choice in love that reflects our values and the kind of person we want to become. There is a choice to be made between  free will and instinctual compulsions.

Seems to me I draw this card The Lovers frequently. I expect the reason being, it is something I struggle with at times, as I believe many women do. My immediate reaction is usually the same. I get a little excited initially, as it makes me think about love relationships because I am a hopeful romantic. I then immediately get a reality check focusing on my life, as a single woman.

 Oh I certainly don't see this as being a negative thing, although there are negative things about the single life that I mostly have come to see them as challenges, just as there are challenges found in a partnership. There are for me simultaneously more positive things about the solo lifestyle.

For me the most positive aspect about being a single woman is having a peace of mind and contentment within myself, and being comfortable in my own skin. It's been a long time since I felt I needed someone else to "complete" me, the way many of us were brought up to falsely believe, as if somehow if you are not committed to a significant other we fall short of happiness. Most women today don't need a man. but I think many might want one, but on their terms, not on anyone else's.

We no longer need to feel the validation of a man or anyone to give us a belief in ourselves. Nor do we need to turn ourselves inside out trying to be the person someone else wants or expects us to be. We are perfect in our own imperfections and don't need approval to be exactly who we are..

It's a different world today, but in other ways there are still so many things that need changing, and seem to be moving backwards instead of forward, in a still predominantly misogynistic society.

I think generally women want to be our own person, to live our own lives in peace, and taking responsibility only for our own happiness.

And so when I ask myself what is it that I really want? I have to say I want peace, regardless if this involves a life partner or not, and if I am happy within myself this is what matters most.

Ace of Cups - No Energy Versus Raw Energy

I have about as much energy today as a popcorn fart. Don't ask me what that is, I really don't know. But I think it just doesn't have much energy behind it.

Not enough sleep last night is what I attribute my laziness to today. Gray skies on a Saturday, feels more like a Sunday, and so drawing the Ace of Cups is just what I need to see to encourage some needed oomph . A very encouraging card, that indicates having a cup that is overflowing with raw creative energy, and an abundance of love.

The beginning of this year presented some challenges, but no sooner did they arrive...

I had to stop this post mid sentence because another Santa arrived with more fire wood! Wow talk about having a full cup! I've needed wood but didn't have the money to get any and so some one so very kind has given this to me, making sure I'm warm this Winter, not once, but four times this kind of thing has happened to me this New Year!

As I was saying, things have had a miraculous way of turning around 180 degrees for me and this New Year of 2016 is off to a stellar start. I found out yesterday I have the opportunity to facilitate some art programming to kids and actually get paid for it too! I am feeling very blessed!

It's 8:00 o'clock here, and I've worked straight out for over three hours stacking wood to make room for another load that's coming! I'm so exhausted. And here I thought I was being lazy with no energy. Nope. Now I really have no energy, but managed to make myself a couple of homemade pizzas for a late supper.

You know it's a wonderful feeling, knowing that we're cared for, loved by others, and by the God of our own understanding when we can't seem to love ourselves. It's truly just as important that we really know what it means to love ourselves, because we can't give, what we don't have.

I'll very gratefully sleep well tonight, feeling very loved and blessed.

Oh, and according to the online urban dictionary, it has a number of descriptive sentences, using the adjective, popcorn fart. The one I like most is, a faint, non-smelly fart, hardly worth the effort. I was feeling that not much was hardly worth the effort today, at the beginning of this post, but that sure changed in a hurry! And now I just feel like a very big ole happy fart.

Ace of Cups - How Full Is Your Cup?

Today was the perfect day to draw this Ace of Cups. With Christmas coming on I'm feeling good about a lot of things and enjoying having gotten my Christmas decorating done, with my little Charlie Brown tree.

My Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

I've continued on my cleaning and reorganizing in my house. I've come to realize that taking care of your home is taking care of yourself. Actually I think I've become addicted to how all this is making me feel, in spite of my back being sore. I'll take it easy tomorrow.

Things are really financially difficult for me right now, but truthfully my worry really is almost none existent, which is a little unusual for me, and I'm feeling I have all I need. In many ways my cup is full and over flowing with blessings. The Ace of Cups on a divinatory level heralds this outpouring of feeling, which can be overwhelming. It isn't all happy feelings, but many different emotions that rise to the surface at this time of year, when thoughts are full of Christmas reflections.

On Sunday I went to a meeting with a large group of local residents to discuss the progress of having a refugee family come to our village. In three weeks our community has raised a total of 9,000 dollars in just three weeks. Two people have very generously donated two houses for the refugee families, in case we get more than one family. Amazing!

Aphrodite being the goddess of love, I am deeply reminded what life is all about, giving to others, and I am feeling very grateful, happy and content. Perhaps I've caught the Hanukkah pre-Christmas Spirit.

Happy Hanukkah everyone.

Ace of Cups - Shlemiel or Shlimazel?

Hands down this card for me today is my very favourite, and it's perfect timing with the Blue Moon and because I am getting together with some life long women friends. We've been gathering for these women's weekends together for many years, and saw one another go through those pivotal life altering events like marriage, divorce, death, those soul draining things that can make you feel like a shlimazl, or shlemiel, both two hard cases. The shlimazl usually gets the worst of it. The shlemiel falls off the ladder, and the shlimazl breaks her fall. These Yiddish words accurately describe the unluckiness I am talking about. Yes, and I found out that luck has nothing to do with happiness.


Things that make you say, " Why is this happening? " or " What is wrong with me? " You may be left feeling like you are simply an unlucky sop, who has a dark cloud over your head.  I used to feel this way. I thought every one else was destined to be happy. Happiness was something that seemed to elude me, and I didn't know how to be responsible for my own happiness. I felt this way for many years, though it may not  have been apparent to anyone else other than me.

 I had been attempting to fill a spiritual void with a material reality. It really wasn't until I was about 40 years old, when I fully came to believe that happiness was to be found within myself. I learned that happiness comes from being grateful and reaching out for help. Today I focus on what I have, not on what I don't have.

In the Ace of Cups we see Aphrodite rising out of the frothy ocean in all her glory and power. She is the goddess of Love and called the Mother of All. This card is about feeling a deep love for yourself, for others and for Spirit, that fortifies and strengthens your own ability to keep that veil of unhappiness away.

When we truly are our own best friend, this enables us to really appreciate deep friendships with those who know us, love and accept us as we are. These friendships are some of the most affirming and loving blessings we can have in our lives.

If the Great Spirit loves and accepts us as we are, then why wouldn't we, or why shouldn't we love, and accept ourselves as we are? Being mindful and maintaining a daily conscious contact with Spirit, has been paramount in my own happiness.

I am grateful to my fellow sisters and brothers who have shared in the falling, and in the breaking of falls. I am grateful as well, that they taught me how to no longer be a shlemiel or a shlimazl!

Ace of Cups - I Don't Want To Be Steven Seagal

Getting on an emotional merry-go-round can wear a person out, or may alienate others. It can be very superficial in that emotion that is not tempered with wisdom and insight, can not be sustained and can make for feelings that escalate into despair, and hopelessness. At some point there has to be action taken in order to bring about positive change.

Not every one is comfortable showing emotion or seeing any one else emote. I heard it said many years ago, feelings are just that, feelings not good or bad. Why so many feel compelled to make a judgement about feelings seems a strange thing to do, but I think we all do it at some point. Mostly I think we place this judgement on ourselves.  Why do I feel that way?  I shouldn't feel like that. I wished I felt differently. I'm stupid for feeling this way.  Sound familiar?

The Ace of Cups (Aphrodite) is a force of nature, it's about having your cup overflowing with emotion, and having an outpouring of feelings that well up within, and can't be contained.

It was once explained to me by a therapist that emotions are not something we should get into the habit of suppressing. If we knowingly, and continually suppress our emotion, they eventually become repressed, and we are unaware they even exist in our subconsciousness. She compared this to a old mattress with springs that pop up. We keep pressing them down with our hands and feet. Very quickly we run out of appendages to push them back down, and this repression is what leads to mental health problems or issues with our physical health. This made so much sense to me, and I knew I had to make changes within myself, and in my life.

I learned as a young child, that showing emotion was not acceptable, and so I shut down. I continued on that way into my adolescence and adulthood, until my emotions became deeply repressed. Eventually could no longer control my emotion. This is when I had to seek help and I am grateful everyday of my life that I did.
I heard it said once, ' if you do not deal with your emotions they will deal with you.' As much as a do like Steven Seagal, I don't want to be like him.

The Spirit of Solstice - Sun Stands Still - Hope Is Renewed

The Eight of Cups very much corresponds with my thoughts today about letting go. Psyche, as she descends into the underworld, all hope seems lost, and even abandoned. There is nothing more left, for her to do, but to let go of the past, and of the future. Letting go for me is about turning things over to the God of my understanding. Letting go is rather like releasing a balloon. Once we let it go, it begins to float, you don't grab hold of the long string attached, and take it back again, when you let it go, it is gone.

 As I was saying to a friend today, it is easy to let go, when things are all going accordingly. I compare it to loving those who are easy to love. There is no virtue in that, those who are miserably unkind, and cruel do this. Loving the unlovable, or embracing difficulties, and burdens is how I learn those important life lessons.

On the shortest day of the year, The Winter Solstice's literal meaning of the word, is "Sun stands still". Today is the perfect time to reflect on the past year, and look to the renewed hope for the coming year and the future.

 The shortest day of the year gives way to the celebration of rebirth, and longer days to come, as the sun will shine brighter through to the Summer Solstice on June 21st, the longest day of the year. This day has special meaning to me because it was the day I married my soul mate. Though Bill left this mortal coil over 34 years ago, I still miss him deeply, especially at Christmas. He was the kindest soul I've ever known, and as the sun stands still today,  I will carry him close, in the small of my heart, as I always do.

Getting Smart With Your Choices - The Lovers

 Choice can be a  real difficult thing, especially when it comes to making the right decision.
 The Lovers, a Major Arcana card, is about making a choice, as Paris needs to decide who is the most fair and beautiful, Hera, Aphrodite or Athena.

Learning to make the right choices with honesty, and self-assurance or assertiveness can be a life long lesson. Many of us don't learn how to make assertive choices based on love, especially when we don't feel like being very loving after someone has done something to hurt us, or been very disrespectful. We either react in a passive manner avoiding the whole situation, or we lash out in aggression, and not with assertiveness.

 I know myself well enough to understand that it is unhealthy to let feelings fester, when I know I need to be assertive and to have faith in myself. At the same time I do not want anger and bad feelings to dictate negative behaviour toward myself or toward another. I have a choice to make choice to stand up for my own rights while not infringing on another's rights.

How I choose to stand up for myself is what will make all the difference for me, especially because I need to be loving, and at the same time get my message across, that what has happened is not appropriate or acceptable.to me. Then I need to let the situation, and what has happened, go, and not carry around a resentment, that I stick in my gunny sack.

" The problem of choice in love, which reflects one’s values because those choices are a mirror of the kind of person we wish to become. " The Mythic Tarot

Seven of Cups - Your Will Vs The Creator's Will

I relate very much to the Seven of Cups that I have drawn today, because yesterday I purchased a second hand car, leaving me financially busted, but this is the sacrifice I decided to make because this car is all legal, in good shape, drivable, reliable and I bought it from a local friend an older woman I trust implicitly and who took good care of it. The price was right, and being in remote Nova Scotia, and I can't be without a vehicle living in the boonies, especially with Winter coming on soon. I am all too familiar what it is like being without a car, having to hitch hike. So my decision I know, was the right one, though it has left me both broke and happy, but especially, very very relieved, after driving a car that shouldn't have been on the road.

I've had more than my fill of junker cars over the years, and have acquired a few funny stories because of this situation, that didn't have a good outcome. Fortunately my purchase of this vehicle isn't one of them. Mind you, the car I recently stopped driving, doesn't owe me anything, but I will confess I have three traffic tickets, $176 dollars each, that I owe due to my bad decision to keep driving it over the past few months! There's nothing funny about that!

Here in the Seven of Cups we see Psyche praying, and pleading to Aphrodite for help, that will enable her to make wise decisions regarding Eros. She makes the request to Aphrodite to help her win Eros back.  Psyche has many choice options, as represented by the seven golden cups, floating in mid air.
Aphrodite answers by laying down the law, and confronts Psyche about how she expects her to fulfill certain required tasks before she grants her prayer request.


We all are faced with particular challenges and need to make difficult decisions in order to obtain the things we want or need. Many times these decisions involve making sacrifices, and we have to seriously ask ourselves whether these are really worth it. We have to ask ourselves, is this something I really want or need or both, and what am I willing to do in order to get it? It's a test of our determination, perseverance, persistence, ability to discern right from wrong, and it is especially a testament of our faith. There is nothing easy about making these decisions, and it can feel like we are between that rock Psyche is kneeling on, and a hard place.

When I reflect on this card I reminded, that it is essential that I turn my requests over to the God of my understanding and ask for guidance and discernment asking that I be enabled to follow the Creator's will first and foremost, over my own..

I used to have a standard Sunfire a few years back the same year, but it was candy apple red. I blew the motor trying to drive myself out of my snow filled lane way in order to get to University. Boy was that a bad decision!

 I figured silver was a good colour for me, now I am officially a 'senior'. I prefer to call myself a crone or maybe even an 'elder'. I call  the colour of my new ride, Arctic Blonde rather than silver, to match my hair!

My "new to me" ride

Ace of Cups - Why Emotion Beats No Emotion

   ' My cup runneth over ', from the Hebrew Bible is what comes to mind when I see the Ace of Cups appear. It is also a card that can symbolize the individual who is almost possessed by frenzied passion, and visceral emotion, an experience where the heart overrules the head. We can be swept away in a sea of emotion that is a force of nature, causing humans to display behaviour they wouldn't usually exhibit, such as jealousy, spite, and deceit etc. These are the more negative aspects of the Ace of Cups.

Here we see Aphrodite, the goddess who initiates the powerful upsurge of raw energy toward relationship, and the love between Psyche and Eros.

I was once described as being ' a ball of emotion ', and ' a bleeding heart '. I don't agree with these derogatory descriptions. I actually learned how to stuff my emotion from the age of 6 years of age. I remember exactly the day this happened. I was in the Toronto Sick Children's Hospital with my parents, and my brother Ralph who was in the hospital bed, because he was unable to walk. He been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at this time.

Understandably I was very emotionally distraught, and when I began to express my emotion, I was told by my mother, not to cry. The statement that resonated was, " don't cry you'll make yourself sick ". I saw no tears from my parents, nor from my brother who was then, 16 years old. I got the message loud and clear as I'm sure my brother did as well, that it was not acceptable to express my emotion, and so I followed suite from there on in.

This emotional shut down continued all though my life, until I began to get serious about my recovery from alcoholism, which is often described as being a ' disease of the emotion. ' Alcoholism was all through my family on both sides, and my family had been greatly affected by the disease. Looking back, I can say I went into survival mode, and I kind of disappeared as the family's focus was completely on my brother and his illness.

Today, I understand how suppressing emotions eventually in time, become repressed, in that we are unaware we even have these emotions, and it becomes very unhealthy. If we do not deal with our emotions, they will deal with us.

 It is much better thing to be able to feel, than to not feel. The disconnection from our emotion makes us less human and we are unable to experience love, or life in a holistic way and directly affects our relationships with ourselves and with others.

Having a high intelligence quotient is valued in our society, but it is my experience that having emotional intelligence is just as valuable, if not more so. If we can manage to temper and balance our emotion with our intellect, then the Ace of Cups in our lives will serve us better, leading to a healthier, happier life, where we can thrive, instead of simply trying to survive.

Seven of Cups - Reality and Fantasy

The Seven of Cups speaks of an emotional situation with the potential of a positive outcome. This is a card of fantasy and reality.

Here Psyche is confronted by Aphrodite, who points to the seven golden cups in the air, which symbolize 'castles in the air'. Psyche fantasizes about the future, which cannot be realized without the acceptance of the reality of hard work and sacrifice.


I think there was a show on television once, called "Reality Bites." It does much of the time. Sometimes we are faced with situations were we become painfully aware that we can't go on in denial or fantasy. It is a difficult decision we are sometimes faced with in our day to day lives, and this can result in a very heavy heart, because it may appear we are damned if we do, and damned if we don't.We can feel like we are between a rock and a hard place, because of the limitations that reality offers, in spite of our hope for a better future circumstance.

It is essential that we carefully consider our decisions, however we must make decisions. Whatever the outcome, we will have to accept, but it is necessary that we decide in order to move forward.
We will always face difficult choices in our lives, and like Psyche we must learn to have patience, faith and perseverance in order to have the strength to make our choices based on reality, not fantasy. 

Ace of Cups - Aphrodite and The Realm of The Heart

Oh well, once more it is, the Ace of Cups. I've drawn this card again today. I had a very recent discussion with some fellow Tarot readers regarding cards that we regularly choose in our own daily draws, and what this means. We were all in agreement that it provides an opportunity to dig in deeper and see the card from different a perspective. We may be avoiding certain aspects or issues that the card brings our immediate attention to.
I do believe the reason this happens is because there is a message there that needs addressing. And so, I am going to do this today, as much as it is uncomfortable, and it makes me feel very vulnerable. So be it, I really don't care as I feel ready now to address what it is I have honestly been avoiding.

The message of this card directly points to the issue of love and we meet head on the complex force of nature, the goddess of love, Aphrodite. In Greek myth she is really the mother of all, having created all beings.

In the Mythic Tarot the Ace of Cups signifies new bright beginnings, prompting us to have an open heart and strong faith that implies the law of attraction so to speak.

Okay, I am going to do this, keep my heart open, and have faith. There is a certain someone I am most fond of, who will for personal reasons, remain anonymous. I am quite certain if he ever does read this post, he will quickly realize I am talking about him as being the object of my great affection. We went to University several years ago, and have reconnected over social media after all this time. We haven't seen each other face to face  for almost fourty years! That's a hell of a long time! SO as you can imagine I have all sorts of thoughts, wanderings, maybe a few fantasies. hope, and longings,whirling around in my head, like dancing twirling dervishes!

So that's it, done, and I've put it out with open heart, and faith into the Universe, and I must say I do feel better, and I am ready for a great journey of the realm of the heart.

Eight of Cups - Hope

When the Eight of Cups is drawn, I immediately feel a sense of trouble and  evoking feelings of despair and disappointment. But immediately after, I have thoughts of hope.

In fact it is a card of some resignation, and I think of the saying, no one's getting out of here alive! The Eight of Cups is a card of letting go. So many cards in the Tarot are about just that, letting go, which is a good thing, because much of life, if not all of it, is about letting go of the people, places and things we cannot control. It sure isn't an easy lesson to learn, because life has an ongoing succession of things we are having to let go of; loved one's, our youth, beauty, homes, children, life and the list goes on and on.
  Life is transitory, always changing and we are either moving ahead or backwards we never stay the same. I say it's all about our attitude toward our personal struggles and obstacles.

In the Eight of Cups we see Psyche who has a final task that Aphrodite has requested of her. Psyche leaves the eight golden cups behind,  and voluntarily gives up hope for the future, and descends the staircase to the underworld, knowing she will not return from this desolate and desperate place.

 If and when we find ourselves in this kind of circumstance, we can choose to try to manipulate the future, trying to "make a deal", bargaining our way through , we plead,  we may even bully, in a desperate attempt to hold on and change the situation and the " will of the divine, " or we can choose to let go and choose hope.

We can't not control life, but we can control is ourselves. Once we let go within ourselves, we will find hope.