Knight of Cups - Creative Vision Quest

Drawing the Knight of Cups, another Court card, in the suit of cups again, sparked my interest. This happens a lot, often drawing related cards for a number of days. I am partial to the suit of cups, because the suit represents the emotions, relationships, friendship and matters of the heart. It is also the suit associated with water which is the element I most relate to, because my Moon is in Pisces, and I am often reminded of this on a daily basis being a creative, and I intuit my way through life.

What can be problematic for me, has been change and inconstancy. I have worked hard on both areas of my life and continue to do so. It is a good thing to know that I have the best possible vocation I could have, pursuing art, as I'd never been happy at a desk job or with employment where I could not use my creativity. Many years back I was told by an Astrologer that it was important for me to pursue a spiritual quest in my life. He was right.

The Knight of Cups is on a quest, perhaps romantic, possibly creative or spiritual. The Cup could represent the 'Holy Grail' and the fish in the water is also a symbol of spirituality.
 I am not romantically searching, but as far back as I can remember, I have had a spiritual and creative vision quest.

Queen of Cups - Emotional Intelligence

 Emotional intelligence is what the Queen of Cups possesses. She follows her intuitive, open heart before her intellect, and drinks deeply from the cup of life. Her emotional generousity defines her very loving nature. I wish more of us could be like the Queen of Cups.

Having emotional intelligence it has been said, is valued  by society. The reality is, it is not the primary manner in which the world is run, politically or socioeconomically. You don't have to look very far to see that we live in a world very lacking in this kind of intelligence. Governments in the Western world mostly provide lip service to the real needs of the individuals who are living with poverty, homelessness, mental illness, abuse, and a long list of other difficulties that so many struggle with everyday. I may sound jaded, but I am simply being realistic. Regardless I can certainly think of individuals who exhibit the character traits and values of the Queen of Cups, that I greatly admire, but still there are not enough of them. People who live life the way the Queen of Cups does I believe are seen as naive, foolish and fool hearty, leaving themselves open to being taking advantage of, headed for heartbreak, and nothing but folly. Living life drawing from emotional intelligence should not be equated with not using your intellect.

Reality is not all based on rational thought and concrete facts. There is much to learn from this beautiful Queen that we can all develop and deepen in our own inner lives and the depths of our souls.

One of the best books I ever read about rational and irrational thought  was Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance  by Robert Persig  as it changed my perception and my thought.

Stalemate - Two of Swords

The song 'Stuck In The Middle With You ', and the saying, 'Stuck between a rock and a hard place', is what comes to mind when I look at the Two of Swords. Orestes despairs at being  in the middle of the quarrel between his mother and father. There is a stalemate and seems to be no resolution in sight.

We all find ourselves sometime, in a position where we are stuck in one way or another, and can't see the forest for the trees, which can cause great tension and anxiety.  We find ourselves neither happy nor unhappy. But if I can somehow detach with love, find objectivity, with discernment, clarity will come into view.

I really dislike being on the fence, though it does happen. I know that not everything is clear cut, not always black and white. There is always a lot of gray area, but for me it is important for me to take a stand. I cannot stick my head in the sand, in denial, always walking on eggshells to avoid conflict and maintaining the status quo.


Feeling as if you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, is an uncomfortable spot to be in. Finding myself in this place I can do one of two things, accept the situation or not. Then I have to decide if there is anything I can possibly do about it.

 I understand I cannot change or control anyone's behaviour, but I can choose to 'vote with my feet', walk away and control my own responses. If I can't figure out what to do and feel paralyzed emotionally, well then, I have to turn it over to the God of my understanding, ask for help, trusting that my request will be answered. This always works for me, not so much for my cats.

Nine of Wands - Full Wolf Moon

 
The time of the Full Wolf Moon, gives a strength that may be unexpected in the dark of Winter but I believe it does. The Wolf Moon is a great time to begin new creative endeavours. It also corresponds with the Nine of Wands, the card of strength in reserve.

These dark days cause us to withdraw into personal introspection and reflection, which can give us a creative strength that the Nine of Swords speaks of, and that we may be unaware of having. We find this reserve strength when we lest expect it, and when we most need it. This time can help to lead us to new life, hope and ideas.

 Like Jason, we may be in the middle of the raging storm in the Clashing Rocks. But we will make it through.We  rise up to the challenge are prepared when we are feeling the lowest, at the end of our rope, mentally, physically or emotionally.

I identify very strongly with wolves, because the wolf represents a woman's strong instinctual, intuitive and Wild Woman nature.

Full Wolf Moon

Conflict, Strife, and Sorrow Versus Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, and Hope - Three of Swords

I've been gearing up for the coming year and attempting to clarify what it is I want to accomplish. Goals are very important to me, and have become more so the older I get, and the tangible-measurable objectives that I make in order to achieve the goals I've set.

The actions and reactions based on my decisions of the past, influence the goals I choose today.
The Three of Swords speaks of strife, conflict and sorrow. I've had enough of that in life, and the New Year is a great time to take stock, to take an inventory of the past year; to looking ahead to make the coming year free of negative events and full of positive happenings. This may sound idealistic to some.

I understand  very well, I can't shield myself from all things negative in life, believe me I've tried, and failed miserably. What I can do is change my attitude toward those events of conflict, strife and sorrow. I don't have rose coloured glasses on, nor am I a complete Pollyanna, though I do like her. My outlook these days is somewhere between George Jones and Pollyanna. I think those two would get on quite well.

I have been very blessed in my life to have had the opportunity to learn how to change my attitude and my behaviour. There is nothing too easy about it, but so very worthwhile trying, and then finding you have managed to overcome, and this makes me happy because it increases my self-esteem, and confidence. Mostly what it does, is give me hope for the past present and the future. I do not attribute this to my own wisdom, but to other individuals that have set the example and helped me along my path.

When I was studying Art Education in University, and during my training in as a Youth Care Worker, one of the lessons that helped me immeasurably was learning  how to set goals, and measurable objectives. There is a good acronym that can help me do this. S.M.A.R.T. Smart, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound, are the descriptive adjectives these letters represent.

I think is is essential I put pen to paper, write out my goals, and then describe the objectives that are the action steps I will take, to achieve these goals.

The negative in life allows us know and appreciate the positive. If I can improve, build upon, and focus on the positive, I think this keeps the conflict, strife and sorrow at bay, or at least some what manageable.

Ending on a positive note, I just finished putting my Christmas 'ornies ' away and am ready to embrace New Year and start writing down those goals and objectives today, because there is 'hope for the hopeless!'

Nine of Swords Vs 21 Years of Recovery

I really don't like seeing on the Nine of Swords the menacing wrath of these Furies toward Orestes, with their threatening presence.
Considering however today, January 2nd, 2015, being my 21 year A.A. anniversary of contented sobriety, it really gave me pause to reflect on my days before sobriety. I was like Orestes, tormented, often full of great fear and anxiety with feelings of impending doom, that did not necessarily manifest itself,  nonetheless it was both frightening and painful. The fear of destruction caused me to have all kinds of free floating anxiety and fantasy at times. I felt pursued by guilt and shame, which I thought would no doubt end in a terrible future, even if these fears where not based on reality. Of this however, I am quite convinced; had  I continued to drink, these fears would have eventually become self-fulling prophecies.

I thank God I came to understand the reason for my fear and guilt, which provided insight once I got sober through the 12 Step Fellowship.

I can not say I am completely free from worry, or never feel moments of fear and anxiety, but so does everyone. The difference today is, I no longer have to, nor choose to pick up a drink to cope. Today my antidote to worry is action and prayer.
Reality suits me just fine, no matter what happens in life today, and for that I am very grateful.

Maintaining Focus - The Chariot

The Chariot symbolizing war or battle, is for many of us, what life often seems to be about. Fear, and terror can be our battle field. We spend time fighting situations, others, or even ourselves. Life shouldn't be about fighting, in a destructive sense, but be about advocating for ideals such as justice, freedom, and peace.

I have learned that I can advocate, for myself and for others, but if I really want to make a difference I also need to get organized to be effective warrior, in order to walk the talk.

Aggressive retaliation or reaction, results in a no win predicament. Passivity is not an answer either. A position of assertion is what I aim for in all aspects, and circumstances in life. I understand this is easier said than done, given our fight or flight instinct, and depending on the situation.

The message for me of the seventh Major Arcana card, is about having knowledge, truth, understanding, and discernment which act as our the sword and shield, the amour of wisdom, necessary before we decide to move forward toward the light. This is the better way to ensure a likely win, win outcome. We need an informed enthusiasm, to make the right decision. Other wise we have out of control, runaway horses.

Strength, self-assurance, and having an iron willed determination, must be creatively balanced, and harnessed with the spear of love, tempered with a healthy fear, a spiritual vision, and a clarity of mind, which will create order out of chaos. 


The harmonious blending of love and strife strengthens and develops our whole personality.

A very Happy New Year to all. My prayer is, that all will be enabled to balance the negative, and positive forces in life, to maintain our focus, to control of our lives, to achieve success in the now, and in the future.