Well I got unexpected news today, as the Page of Cups indicates, of a spiritual nature. Not before going into my anxiety panic attack first. This time it was different. I got real quiet, and mindful within myself. Then I said a prayer. These two actions made the difference for me. My prayers were answered immediately, the anxiety left, once I decided to ignore my panic, and did what I had to do. Don't you wish that could happen all the time? I do think it does, for me, but I don't always take note of it in a real conscious way, until later. What happened today was different, and I know I need to nurture this kind of transitional shift within.
This Page speaks about the gentle stirrings, and nurturing self-care. It is the renewal of self-love and having a general interest in the body, the environment, and a focus on emotional pleasure rather than on pain or painful memories.
I love all the Pages in the Tarot. They are youthful, possessing innocence, and a purity of heart. They always bring a message for us, because they are messengers and capture the essence of transition.
The Page of Cups will eventually become the truly romantic spirit in the form of the Knight of Cups, who makes the world a better place full of vibrancy and colour.. He will go onto slay the Gorgon Medusa, that butt ugly she-monster, with those snakes comin' out of her head.Ugh, she real scary ugly!
Well I didn't slay the Gorgon today but honestly it almost felt that way because I faced my fear, turned it over, and like Vasalisa The Wise with the doll in her pocket, I listened to the still quiet voice that helped me find my way, and I didn't forget to say my prayers.
Anne Lamott may favourite author wrote a great book, Help, Thanks, Wow. She talks about how these three words are her most frequently said prayers. I realized today they have also become mine.
What are your prayers? Do you listen to that still quiet voice?
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| Vasalisa The Wise-Egg Tempera, 2012 - Catherine Meyers |
6 comments:
I love the story of Vasalisa and I think your painting is a beautiful expression of it. Listening to that little voice and saying a prayer is some thing I often forget when I need it the most.
We have some trouble with M which I could pray about. Sometimes it is hard to find the words or the connection during prayer. Maybe HELP can be enough for today.
I love the story of Vasalisa too. Thank you Ellen. <3
I'll tell you when I lost my sweet husband Bill to schizophrenia and brittle diabetes in Toronto, I was in the hospital with Bill when he was on life support. I sat in a quiet room with a very kind palliative priest. I told him I could not find the words to prayer, and could not pray. He told me just having the desire to pray, is a prayer itself. I never ever forgot that. Thomas Merton says the same in his beautiful book, Seeds of Contemplation.
Thank you, I needed to here this
hugs
:) <3 Big hugs right back Ellen!
Years ago, Lamott's "Traveling Mercies" had a big impact on me. I haven't read the one you mentioned - I'll have to check the library for it. I haven't had panic attacks since I was in college, but menopause brought them back out of hiding. The focus the Page has on his cup is a good way to keep me from spiraling out of control when they happen. I just have to keep telling myself "This is a physiological reaction that is trying to trick my mind. I can wait it out and breathe deeply, because it will pass."
Traveling Mercies!!! The first book I read by Anne Lamott. Was my absolute favourite. A book that certainly has impact. I love her so much and her sense of humour. She has a new book out ' Stitches' which I want to read.
Remember in the book, her on the plane with that woman who laughed like the Mars Attacks aliens, "Ack Ack Ack!" She makes me laugh out loud.
I like your comparison of the Page's focusing on the cup.
I can control these whacky attacks now that I am 'mature' and 'growed up'. Ha!
I do the same as you, breath, know it's all psychological and that 'this too shall pass.' They just can really be very uncomfortable and annoying because it feels like they are coming to get me! :)
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