I really don't like seeing on the Nine of Swords the menacing wrath of these Furies toward Orestes, with their threatening presence.
Considering however today, January 2nd, 2015, being my 21 year A.A. anniversary of contented sobriety, it really gave me pause to reflect on my days before sobriety. I was like Orestes, tormented, often full of great fear and anxiety with feelings of impending doom, that did not necessarily manifest itself, nonetheless it was both frightening and painful. The fear of destruction caused me to have all kinds of free floating anxiety and fantasy at times. I felt pursued by guilt and shame, which I thought would no doubt end in a terrible future, even if these fears where not based on reality. Of this however, I am quite convinced; had I continued to drink, these fears would have eventually become self-fulling prophecies.
I thank God I came to understand the reason for my fear and guilt, which provided insight once I got sober through the 12 Step Fellowship.
I can not say I am completely free from worry, or never feel moments of fear and anxiety, but so does everyone. The difference today is, I no longer have to, nor choose to pick up a drink to cope. Today my antidote to worry is action and prayer.
Reality suits me just fine, no matter what happens in life today, and for that I am very grateful.