Two of Pentacles - How to Keep Your Balls in the Air

It might seem oddly amusing to tell some that I learned how to juggle on Prince Edward Island, where. I was hanging around two fellows who were juggling clowns and was desperate to learn how to keep my balls in the air!

Little did I know what that would lead to, and what was ahead for me, an adventure of a life time. Once I learned how to juggle I was hooked and wanted to know everything about clowning and found myself leaving the protection of a very rural farming community of P.E.I. and heading to the mean streets of the city to study Mime in Toronto Ontario.

This is where and when my life changed forever through deep a profound love, followed by tragic loss. Needless to say I was no longer interested or able to know how to keep my balls in the air and simply wanted to give up on life. I'd reached that jumping off point that so many young people experience after loosing someone to death, whom you love so much.

 I was no longer "juggling". I was barely treading water, and felt like I was rapidly loosing ground. I kept on for my family, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, until I met a community of others who cared for me more than I cared for myself and they loved me back to joy, and to life.

One thing that never changes in life is change, as I'm reminded of this today, drawing the Two of Pentacles. Looking back I see how juggling has become the metaphor for my life. This card symbolizes change and the fluctuation in the flow of creative energy that needs to be grounded, channeled balanced, regardless of my circumstances.

A New Way To Think About Temperance

Between 1979-1980 at the age of 26, I moved into the Women's Christian Temperance Union on Gerard and Young St., in downtown Toronto. Why the heck would I ever do that, most people would ask. The simple answer, I needed a place to live. It was one the best things I ever did for a myriad of reasons, which had everything to do with the way I thought about temperance, which were completely unknown to me at the time.

Though I grew up in Toronto, and in parts of Ontario, I was now returning, after years of living in Nova Scotia from the age of 15 years. I was attending school, to study Mime, with a group of approximately 8 other students.  But that's a whole other story.

When I entered the Women's Christian Temperance Union, I approached the woman at front desk. Once I got registered, she informed me, I would be sharing a room with another young women. She said, in her Philippine accent , " Oh Rosemary, she's a , how you say, a very very nice gurl. She doesn't smoke, doesn't drink. You goin' to just love her. She such a very very nice gurl. "

When I got settled into my room Rosemary wasn't there, but arrived within the hour. She immediately asked me, " Do you smoke? " Yes, I answered. "Good!" she said. "Do you drink?", she then asked. I again said, yes. She again answered, " Good! " We're going to get along great!"she replied excitedly.

If you asked what the word temperance meant to me back in the 80s. This would be it. You don't drink, you don't smoke or have per-marital sex. I was clueless. Today I am happy to know I have a new way to think about temperance. Temperance for me is so much more than not drinking or smoking  and all the so called rules that I was wanting to break.

Temperance is all about having a balanced heart, mind, body, and spirit. It's about transfiguration, spiritual insight, rising above what ever negative situation you find yourself in, and about being a compassionate human being. These are some of the characteristics Temperance embodies.

I choose to live a temperate life now, not because I have to, but because I want to, and because of my own personal recovery from alcoholism, and my 20 year road to recovery. It's not about just putting down the bottle, but living life on life's terms, one day at a time. This is what Temperance means to me.

Tom Waits

The Fool - Seize The Day!

In 1980 I took an adventure. I traveled to Toronto to study Mime, Commedia dell'Arte to be specific at Mime School Unlimited. It was the great unknown, and one of the most difficult, challenging and at the same time most rewarding experiences of my life. I took a huge leap of faith.

Prior to leaving the Maritimes, I began to study clowning and the role of the clown, the Fool/Jester. Particularly the white face. I learned that the role of the court jester, in the days of Kings, was to remind the Royal Court of their mortality, the white face represented the Death Mask.

For me the Fool is a wonderful archetype, and symbol of how I have often lived my own life as an artist, a free spirit, and it retrospect I know I've learned the most life lessons from, in many ways.

The card of the Fool in the Tarot, is represented  by the number 0 - the Zero point, and the beginning of the 22 Major Arcana cards that depict the archetypal journey of life.
Some find the card to be most mysterious and even disturbing. I do not, as it brings to my mind a humble vulnerability, innocence, a trusting open heart, with an eternal optimism and hope. It is the beginning of the journey as individuals, a time of risk taking, and learning new things, as we move along the road of life.

The image of the Fool is that of our inner impulse and willingness to leap into the unknown, an ideal symbol for springtime, new beginnings and new growth, we follow our intuition and creative instincts. Our leap of faith can lead us into a creative and fulfilling lives. Instead of being the guilty bystander, we are participators. Carp Diem! Seize the day!

The Fool is the potential that it not yet applied to anything. One is eager to experience and develop oneself, and their nature to it's fullest capacity and potential.
We start anew and are unaware of the direction in which to proceed, we act on impulse. The Fool is the excitement of endless possibilities and innocence, but also naivete and lack of foresight.

 As illustrated in the Rider -Waite deck there are pure intentions here, which are symbolized by the rose, and having all the necessary and needed tools in life, which are carried in the shoulder satchel. We have a loyal companion and protector along side in the form of a little dog, who will push us forward.

The Zero  indicates the space before the start of the new cycle of experience that will require decisions and action. It is a carefree period, without pressure or direction. The Fool looks heaven ward to the Great Spirit for direction and faith.