Six of Cups - No Regrets

Psyche is contemplating about days gone by. She's feeling a certain amount of sentimentality about what has happened between her and Eros and how she lost her love and the good life. However she hasn't any regrets because she a learned so much about herself love and life. What she has gained is experience, strength and hope.

It's tempting and easy to be reminiscent of days gone by, and about our past. There may be pleasant memories, or not. There is nothing wrong with looking back at our past, and we shouldn't shut the door on it. It's when we stare, that's when we can get into problems. Not being able to let go of what has happened, means we can't accept that things have changed, or we long for and cling to the way things once were.We can't let go.

What if we had no past or we couldn't remember any of it? There would be no reference point for us, and it would be difficult, if not impossible to see a future. We'd only have the present moment. Most of us can hardly imagine what this would be like, having no past, no future, and only the present moment. Animals have this skill of living in the present moment down to an art. How many of us who are animal lovers look at our critters and think, oh to be that cat, or dog. Laying around all day waiting for some love and affection and something good to eat.

Many of us as we age think about our past, what was good, what wasn't, and we hold those special memories and moments dear to us.

Having regrets isn't a productive thing, unless there is actually something we can do to change what we regret, if we have harmed someone or ourselves. We can always make our amends, and resolve to treat others, and ourselves with respect and kindness from this point on.

Nostalgia is a feel good state of mind, regret is not. And so Psyche reminds us not to regret, move forward, not backward, and live the very best life we can, be our authentic selves, and to be grateful for the life's memories and moments of every day.

A New Way To Think About Temperance

Between 1979-1980 at the age of 26, I moved into the Women's Christian Temperance Union on Gerard and Young St., in downtown Toronto. Why the heck would I ever do that, most people would ask. The simple answer, I needed a place to live. It was one the best things I ever did for a myriad of reasons, which had everything to do with the way I thought about temperance, which were completely unknown to me at the time.

Though I grew up in Toronto, and in parts of Ontario, I was now returning, after years of living in Nova Scotia from the age of 15 years. I was attending school, to study Mime, with a group of approximately 8 other students.  But that's a whole other story.

When I entered the Women's Christian Temperance Union, I approached the woman at front desk. Once I got registered, she informed me, I would be sharing a room with another young women. She said, in her Philippine accent , " Oh Rosemary, she's a , how you say, a very very nice gurl. She doesn't smoke, doesn't drink. You goin' to just love her. She such a very very nice gurl. "

When I got settled into my room Rosemary wasn't there, but arrived within the hour. She immediately asked me, " Do you smoke? " Yes, I answered. "Good!" she said. "Do you drink?", she then asked. I again said, yes. She again answered, " Good! " We're going to get along great!"she replied excitedly.

If you asked what the word temperance meant to me back in the 80s. This would be it. You don't drink, you don't smoke or have per-marital sex. I was clueless. Today I am happy to know I have a new way to think about temperance. Temperance for me is so much more than not drinking or smoking  and all the so called rules that I was wanting to break.

Temperance is all about having a balanced heart, mind, body, and spirit. It's about transfiguration, spiritual insight, rising above what ever negative situation you find yourself in, and about being a compassionate human being. These are some of the characteristics Temperance embodies.

I choose to live a temperate life now, not because I have to, but because I want to, and because of my own personal recovery from alcoholism, and my 20 year road to recovery. It's not about just putting down the bottle, but living life on life's terms, one day at a time. This is what Temperance means to me.

Tom Waits