Four of Swords - The Antidote to Self-Doubt - The Authentic Turn-On

Tomorrow I have an ultra sound. I've been stressing about it, along with the impending Winter, which of course is such a useless waste of my energy. I get frustrated and impatient with myself when I worry, and start spinning my wheels.
So after some reflective reading I've come to a more peaceful place in my mind, and am feeling better in knowing I can trust myself to be strong and overcome my self-doubt.

Something I received this morning was these wise words of Regena Thomashauer ( Mama Gena ). I don't know where she finds this wisdom, but I am grateful she does because her words, are timely and much appreciated. The email was about the antidote to self-doubt, and this morning I drew the Four of Swords, that indicates the following. characteristic behaviours.

• Inner reflection
• Balance
• Clarity of thought
• Wholeness
• Contemplation
• Letting go
• Introspection
• Inner vision

Here is what Regena Thomashauer means by having an authentic turn-on, and it is the antidote to self-doubt.

"But the experience of authentic turn-on goes much, much deeper:

• You feel a sense of your own aliveness and your life force
• You know that your spirit and your body are one
• Your native enthusiasm is intact
• Your ability to reach for pleasure is on—especially when it seems hard
• You’re in your right mind and your highest power
• You’re you—full, complete and whole

Once planted in her authentic turn-on, a woman begins to grow. Kind of like the way you just trust a tree to grow.

A turned on woman learns she can deeply trust herself. She pays attention to her desires, and treats them as her road map.

Indecision vaporizes.
 
She can truly feel her deep yes and her deep no.
She relaxes into the unknown, rather than forcing or muscling her way through life.
She knows she can handle obstacles, and understands that each one forces her to expand in new ways.
She experiences the divine in everything, especially herself.

Within you, within me and within each woman is the source of our own power. 
 
She is our antidote to shame, and the wellspring of our deepest intuition.
She is our divinity, our spiritual center, the timeless point of our attraction, and our power source.
She teaches us that our joy is serious business.
She is anchored to our truth.
She teaches us our unshakable confidence."



The divinity and our spiritual center Regena Thomashauer speaks of, is The Empress, the Great Earth Mother.

Nine of Swords - A Still Small Voice

About six of the cards in the Suit of Swords are rather menacing and threatening imagery. The Nine of Swords included, as we see the Orestes being aggressively confronted by the Furies above his head.

We can easily drive ourselves doololly listening to all the voices surrounding us. These voices can exist in our own mind, that are more often than not negative, or we are absorbing every opinion, except our own true inner voice. We can feel consumed, confused, and overwhelmed.
Worry, guilt, and fear about the past, and the future can rob us of our happiness in the present. This is crazy making at it's worst.

So how do we connect to that inner voice in order to find the path we need or want to take?

I have to get calm and find quiet. I need to strip away all the extraneous people, places, and things that hinder my ability to make these decisions. Then I need to not simply find the time to withdraw, I need to take the time to get quiet in order to listen to the still small voice.

I was a many years finding this inner voice. I was suffering from had what I know as, a hole in the soul.
We are either moving toward this voice, or moving away from it.
I needed to take an personal inventory of my soul.

When I was young, a little girl actually, I was in tune with this authentic true voice, but I didn't know what it was, nor was I intellectually aware of it, or able to comprehend what it meant. It simply happened intuitively.

As I got older I became affected by all the extraneous crazy making, and crazy makers surrounding me. I trusted my intuition less and less. This took me to a place of chaos and confusion within myself. I lost my way. Instead of guilt, fear, and worry I took action.

Twenty one years ago through God's grace, I was able to find my way back and got reconnected with my true self and to that still small voice and inner vision. And for this I am forever grateful.

Getting Smart With Discernment - Five of Pentacles

This card looks a little ominous and dark as Daedalus is skulking off after having to leave and let go of his material success and position. Most importantly what he has lost, is faith in himself.

He has been left with, is an opportunity to deal with all of his troubles the loss that was self-inflicted, but he can begin again and transformation and real happiness is now possible.

There are several important lessons and messages in this card. It is said for every action there is a reaction, according to Newton's law of motion. Our perception and insight can get obstructed by other things that we  put before our values, and we can loose our way. Then we pay the consequences for our action, leaving us without faith in ourselves or whatever we thought we had gained materially and unhappy.

Discernment is the most essential strength, skill and emotional intelligence I can have, when making decisions in all areas of my life.