Showing posts with label Seasonal Affective Disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seasonal Affective Disorder. Show all posts

Friday, October 23, 2015

The High Priestess - My Higher Self



I'm happy to have those days when I am my higher self, and so it was a affirming card to draw today, The High Priestess. My higher-self doesn't just happen on it's own much of the time, I have to work at it, pray, meditate, and have a willingness, even a willingness to be willing, when I can't seem to get out of my own way. I am learning that, that inner goddess is there within me at all times, and I am learning to be kind toward myself.

 For me it takes resolve and some persistence to face and walk through the change of seasons from Fall to Winter.
This week I've finally had more time to myself and honestly have been trying to stave off thoughts of the Winter. And so I just made up my mind today to live in the present moment. I chose to do those things that help me to enjoy the Fall, enjoying the air, the sunsets and sunrises, making bread, and salsa with the tomatoes from my garden.

Today I got my hands into the good earth one more time, and dug up my crop of potatoes and earlier I pickled beets. These activities though they can feel physically taxing, nonetheless help me to feel connected with the elements, and spiritually I magnify these experiences, and am inspired by them. They give me an inner peace and strength.

I will say I miss my dog especially in the Fall, because we used to go for long walks into the woods. So now I walk alone, but not so much in the woods. Fortunately I have enough property to walk through the fields and down to the river, sit on a rock and listen to The High Priestess.

Salsa


Fall In Apple River
Blue Seamus My Coonhound

Monday, January 12, 2015

Wheel of Fortune - Acceptance



There is definitely change ahead when I draw the Wheel of Fortune. What kind of change? I can only speculate, and that's not so clear. Only good fortune is hoped for at best. I would be wasting my time projecting into the future, and I am no fortune teller. Growth and a new phase is assured regardless of which way the wheel turns.

I think about the future a fair amount, and have hopes and dreams like any one. But the big thing is, is taking charge of what it is I want to actualize in my life. This can be the hard part. So I have been busily doing lots inventory, goal setting, and trying to crystallize what it is I want to do and accomplish. What I don't accomplish I have to accept responsibility for, good or bad.

I must say I am struggling to get past the Winter weather which is a really challenge psychologically and living alone I stay in my head. Thank goodness I have a writing outlet. Winter has always been something to overcome. I've never really liked it, and as I got older I disliked it even more. I don't remember even liking Winter as a kid. I do remember before I started school, being left outside for long periods of time at the baby sitters, along with another kid. The woman who was minding us had a daughter the same age as her cousin and me. We were both left outside in the cold while her mother allowed her daughter to come back in the house. I never told my mother. Perhaps this might have something to do with the reason I don't like Winter, and have a unpleasant residual memory. I certainly relate Winter with being cold and dark which I believe directly affects my mood along with having a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

So goes the Wheel of Fortune, life is not perfect, full of big and small messes, but it is a beautiful life. Some days are diamonds, some days are stones and we can't have one without the other. Acceptance is the key to all my difficulties.