Ever find yourself in a scenario where you feel like you're suddenly in a kind of paralyzing emotional pickle? For instance someone seems hell bent on arguing and are looking for you to give them a reason to fight or attack you, or to take you emotionally hostage. When this situation presents itself, I go into a slow motion mode, because I'm kind of in shock and I never feel ready for this kind of thing, as I don't expect it and it can take me off guard. Your left feeling isolated, and trapped. But it happens to everyone more often than we realize, we aren't alone and it's possible for change. There's a way out, in spite of these feelings of being in bondage.
I can certainly feel the temptation to defensively blat something out in retaliation, but will undoubtedly later regret. On the other hand, I need to keep my dignity in tact. I do want to respond, but in a way that defuses the situation in a positive way, to stand up for myself, calmly and clearly speaking my own truth, without infringing on an individual's right to express themselves. We all have a right to our own opinion, but I do believe this can't be at the expense of the individual we're interacting with. This is more about resentment and vengeance.
I'm certain everyone encounters these typical life situations, creating stress and fear. So I have to stop, step back, ask myself how and what is going to be my approach? This is usually my default now after many years of practicing and refining the habit, and now I feel I've finally come closer to getting it right these days. I've also learned to trust my heart, my intuition, to let go and to not force a solution.
This habit allows me to make an accurate assessment of a situation, in order to figure out what's really going on behind the scenes, or beneath the surface. I have to consider who it is, what are the antecedents that are exacerbating the circumstances. I need to take all of these into consideration before I can decide how best to respond and not simply react, before I can move forward.
Perhaps at times the best response is no response, until the dust settles, because there can be unknown factors beyond our control or beyond another person's control, such a mental health of physical health issues.
Understand I'm processing events that happened in my own life recently, and I'm still kind of working through them, and it always helps to write, because it enables me to make sense of what took place, in order to get some clarity and a clearer perspective.
Today I choose to remain hopeful and positive in my attitude. I also have to ask myself these questions. Can I change this situation? Can I accept those things I can't change? And most importantly, I ask the God of my understanding to help me to know the difference between the two. It's what's commonly known as practicing The Serenity Prayer. The Four Directions Prayer also helps me to find discernment and direction. I've found that these prayers are both preventative and practical to keep the chaos at bay, or to find that serenity in the very eye of the storm.
Drawing the Eight of Swords this morning was no coincidence, and it's just what I needed to reflect upon today. In this card we see that Orestes is frozen in the moment, he's being tormented by the Furies and fear has paralyzed him, preventing him from doing anything to resolve his dilemma. But, he needs to make a decision, even though it may appear that either choice will lead to trouble.
It's so important to come to the realization that we all have to face honestly our own part in the problem and we don't have to, nor is there any need to resign ourselves to the bondage of fear. Once we figure out and understand what it is that we want, act once and for all, then we will find the possible solution and be free from the bondage of fear.
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| Geshtinanna |
