Knight of Swords - How To Be Your Own Heroine/Hero

Many years ago I got my SCUBA certification. When the idea was first presented to me, I wasn't a willing participant, and made excuses why I couldn't possibly do this, because well I was afraid, though I loved the water, and swimming. It was free training through the military, and so in spite of my reservations and reluctance, I went ahead and before I knew it, I was enrolled. It was hard work and we were really put through our paces, with  a lot of challenging tests.

Bar none, the biggest test for me was overcoming my panic. What can kill divers is panic. I think this can be related to pretty much everything in life. And so this was made very clear to us at the very start, that we had to get a hold of our panic. When we did our open water dive with our instructor, this is what he was looking for in our eyes, panic.

I was able to overcome my fear by taking control of my panic, and after several weeks of rigorous training, I finally got my certification. I can't exactly explain how I did this, but I know it was about facing fear head on. And I'm sure all that breathing into a regulator attached to my oxygen tank, and being underwater puts everything into slow motion. All you hear is the sound of your breathing, which is very meditative, and you're in the zen zone.

 It wasn't that fear was absent, but I refused to let it it control me. I was stubborn, and began to instinctively look on this as an opportunity for personal growth.

The Knight of Swords portrays the twins, Castor the mortal, and Polydeuces the Divine. It's a card of courage, adventure and change. Having a sense of adventure and being open to change can make us better people. When we can temper our intuition/emotion with our rational/intellectual mind and visa versa, this can help us to be aware of our behaviour and our mortal and divine nature.

By not allowing ourselves to be ruled by our reactions to situations when the old monkey brain kicks in, creating a scenario of fight or flight, we can gain control of ourselves.
 Learning how to SCUBA dive was a really important life changing lesson. I learned how to have courage, and to be open to change.
 Getting out of our comfort zone, and doing the things that we often afraid of, is what enables personal growth. This has been my own personal experience, time and time again.

Learning how to be our own heroine or hero is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. Sometimes it's a matter of saving ourselves from ourselves.

Page of Pentacles - Stay Calm, Be Brave, Watch For The SIgns

This morning drawing the Page of Pentacles I reflected on my day yesterday. The day was a succession of  things that went wrong it seemed. Very annoying, most inconvenient, and anxiety producing incidences which happened from the time I left the house until I returned. I was dealing with issues like car problems, money issues, and not being able to contact people I needed to. I know I am just venting but that said, there were also many things that went very right.

Human nature being what it is, we habitually look at the negative when  life does not go our way. This was me yesterday. But I am grateful nonetheless.

Today I am going to resolve not to do this awefulizing, I don't think this is an actual word but it works in describing what I am trying to say.

Not unlike all of the Pages that represent the young novice, or inexperienced individuals and beginnings, I see the Page of Pentacles as that young immature part of ourselves that can't quite get a handle on how to cope with the material world,and what happens. He thirsts for knowledge and works hard to obtain it.

The Page of Pentacles has a message as a framework for living life. The card urges us to take care of ourselves, mind, body and spirit, through exercise, relaxation and interests  doing so with care, gentleness and time.

The Page of Pentacles needs steady order without surprises that create an instability.  This springs from a fear of not being in control, and we feel we are loosing our focus. Yup that's me. The only thing I can control, is myself, and I have a hard enough time doing this, let alone anyone or anything else. It's all about fear really.

I am reminded of the saying on one of my very favourite CBC Radio shows, that is no longer on, but I remember it fondly, The Dead Dog Cafe. At the end of the show they would say, " Stay Calm, Be brave, Watch for the Signs." Though it was a comedy show, there was always an underlining serious and wise message. This was the one I especially liked, and have used it to help me through those days like yesterday, and now will continue to use it.